Do I Put Him in Early, or Wait?

Wait, wait, wait...

I am a middle school teacher, and years ago, when observing classrooms I was lucky enough to observe a 1st/2nd grade combo class. Here's a scenario...two kids birthday a month apart, one is in second grade, one is in first. Guess which one is excelling? The first grader every time. The older child in a lower class performs at the top and is a leader. The younger child in the older class typically struggles or is just at standard versus excelling above and beyond. What a difference waiting can make.

I would recommend a second year of preschool...counting reading all of that is so important and if he is reading is should be fostered, but as for school...with such a late birthday, It really DOES make a difference. Don't rush his childhood.

:o)

I had the exact same situation, and hope I can offer some insight. My son was advanced, and I agonized over whether to start early or late, and went with early. He did exceedingly well academically, and is a very social kid, so that was fine, too. But he is a short and wiry kid, and now at 14, he is the shortest (of all boys and most girls) and youngest in his first year of High School. Fortunately he is fine with it all, and is doing well. He won't be able to drive, date (famiy rule is wait until 16), or do a few other things with his friends. I have a chance to see the other side, too. I have another son now 5, with an October Birthday. He will start in Kindergarten this fall, and I feel although he was academically--and probably socially--ready last fall, both he and I benefit now, and in the long run, waiting the year. I hope this helps!

Has he gone through preschool? That might help determine how he will do in a classroom environment. He sounds smart, I was really ahead at that age and ended up being young for my class but was challenged by the work. Had I been entered later I would have been bored, since mentally I was ready for more. When I was looking into preschools this year, I was thinking since it was her first experience that I would put her in the younger class, but everyone told me she'd do better and learn more in the next one up. There are a lot of factors, and I'd suggest reading the school readiness articles on www.babycenter.com too! Good luck!

For starters...I love your about me I can totally relate. I tell my DD she pulled out half my brain when she was born. lol

I have 4 y/o virtual twins. A November baby and a January baby. My DD (Nov) is totally ready for Kindergarten and we talked about starting her early but we decided against because of the long term picture.

We would rather she be one of the oldest in her class going forward and more sure of herself, than one of the youngest. I'm an early September baby and was always older than everyone in my class. I liked not being the youngest though I could have been because my parents did try to start me early I just wasn't ready.

My son (Jan.) is very intelligent. He's HoH and has been home from China ~2 yrs. He's only been aided since coming home. While he likes to be challenged intellectually he's also easily bored and wants to move around a lot. I call him my energizer bunny. I know at some point someone is going to try to get me to medicate him because of his energy. It's not going to happen.

I personally feel medications are needed for some, but not to the scale that they're used. We take away all the outlets for young children and then expect them to sit in a room for 6-8 hours w/o moving. Kids need music, PE, art, etc. to help them be productive during the learning intellectual subjects time.

From how you describe your son, I'd wait and give him a chance to learn how to control his energy level a little more before someone tries to tell you how to medicate it under control.

C.-WAHM to 4 y/o virtual twins
Owner: www.BeHappierAtHome.com

Hi Melissa,
My recommendation would be to find him a good pre-K program. At this age it is very critical not to push them even if they are intellectually ready. The social aspect is just as important if not more for young boys. Next year I would also recommend an all day Kindergarten for this seems to give a little more structure as opposed to 1/2 day as well as challenge them intellectually. My recommendations are based on experiences as Previous Elementary School teacher as well as watching youger sibling struggle through school when he started too early. I would also suggest a book that has some things for parents to work with teachers as well as some things you can do at home: "Minds of boys: Saving our sons from falling Behind in School and Life" by Michael Gurian (very good resource)

Melissa,
You sound like me. Exactly! I polled no less than 8 teachers and 20 parents to see what they thought, then played devils advocate for both sides, trying desperately to figure out what is best. My son is 6 now and in Kindergarten. He, too has an October birthday. So we held him back. The theory I heard most often is that boys do better when they are bigger, more developed and older than most of their classmates. Unlike girls, who tend to step up if necessary. Boys seem to suffer self esteem issues, etc. if pushed too hard. My boy is very physical too, but I trusted that he could learn to sit still and he loves learning. He's qualified for the gifted program for next year and I trust that the school system can handle a boy who might be ahead of the curve in learning some things. To me, that's far better than him having to struggle to keep up.

Lastly, let me say, this was a really hard decision for us. I think it's stupid that they make you decide at 4 1/2 years old for the rest of their school career. But since we did it, we also figured that if he is significantly ahead through the grade school years, it would be easier to skip a grade than to have to repeat.

So that's my 2 cents. Hope it helps! Best,
E.

I am a former kindergarten teacher and I would definitely wait. I did not put my son in kindergaraten until he was 6 because his birthday was 4 days after the cut off. I know that early entry into school means youngest in the class. That is not good if your son wants to play sports in high school or fitin socially. He may do well academically, but socially being out of sinc is always difficult. I don't know about your kindergarten, but ours is an all day program and he would be too exhausted. Look for a pre-school program because parents are waiting to send thier children and he would be competeing with 6 year olds.

Hello! I am a former kindergarten teacher and I have also struggled with this decision for my son too. Your son sounds right on track intellectually, which is great! I would just tink about how he is socially, such as getting along with other children, knows appropriate ways to solve conflicts, ask for help, etc. Also, consider how responsible he is. Can he put his shoes and coat away without tons of prompting when you come home or put things away when asked? I get the feeling from your email that he is probably fine on all these points, so consider half day kindergarten. Then he can do sports during the other half of the day and burn off some of that energy! You will have to have him tested through your school district for early entrance and your school should be able to you with this decision as well. Good luck and I hope this helps! L. E,

As an elementary school teacher (and as a mama)...studies show that waiting is better. Do you have him in preschool now? Also, think about when he is older, the advantage of waiting is that he will be in your house a year longer (although that may be a disadvantage). I remember being so sad when my older brother left for college because I realized things would never be the same again. I think my mom had a tough time when everyone left "the nest". Maybe instead of kindergarten, you can put him in a really awesome preschool. Just a thought....go with what your heart tells you though. Also, ask him. Is he emotionally and physically ready (as well as intellectually...which sounds like he is). Also, you could ask the teacher/s if you could sit in on a kindergarten class and maybe you could talk to the teacher/s about it too. Good luck!

Melissa,
My son's birthday was 2 weeks after cutoff to start school. I had him tested by the school to try to get him in early, but it didnt work out. He too absorbed everything like a human sponge and very active. We put him into preschool, and he loved it. He only went three times a week and for half the day (it was a good adjustment for everyday the following year). My niece's birthday is in June and she started Kindergarten that year. SHe was the youngest in her class and emotionally she wasnt ready. My personal experience and oppinion is to wait. Continue his learning at home or through a preschool if you choose. I dont think he will be ready for the pressures of kindergarten. It also sounds like he may not have the attention span yet. You havea very bright boy on your hands!! I wish you the best on your decision.

Coming from a teacher perspective (I've taught preschool and kindergarten for 12 years) and a mommy perspective (I have 3 kids under age 5), I would strongly urge you to wait and let him follow the date guideline. I have had many parents in the past at my school who have had to make this decision, and without fail, the parents who opted to just go with the age guidelines came back to tell us they were so glad they did. And I've had at least 2 parents come back and tell me they wish they had NOT put their child in early. The parents said that the kindergarten decision really came into play once their children were in 5th or 6th grade when the work load increased, the social experience became more challenging, etc. Then their children were among the oldest in their peer groups and more of leaders instead of being the younger ones always trying to keep up/follow. Particularly with boys, most parents are glad they waited! I hope that helps!

Hmmmm, sounds just like me when I started school (Birthday is Oct4th)... but that was some 65 years ago. I was a "high" energy handful and mom thought, because I was very bright (like him) that I'd do very well, only problem was (they might have drugged me nowadays) that I was bored to death, thus, I drove the teacher nuts. They put me back to kindergarten. I would think that in this day and age that the system would have ways of dealing with this but apparently nothing has changed, and may be worse with the advent of school psychiatrists and Ritalin. I would try hanging on for one more year. I know how it feels, my odest was an Oct 3rd baby and even though we waited we still had a lot of problems getting him settled down in school, guess he took right after me. I had been working full time when he came along (we were not well off) and the change was hard for us. He turned out to be a 'problem' child most of his life.
It sounds like you doing a great job pre schooling him and another year will go by very fast and he'll be that much more ahead of the curve.

Hugs,

P.

Hi Melissa,

I haven't read any of the responses, but I'll give you my story. My son was the same way. Very intelligent and had been begging to go to kindergarted for well over a year by the time he was 4. He was born on Oct. 31st. We lived in the Puyallup school district and this is what we went through.
They completely and totally discouraged me from putting him in early. Their reasons were
1. He may be physically behind other children~by the time he is in Jr. High, all the other kids w/ be developing but him. I knew this would not be a problem. He has been in the 95% fro height and weight since his birth and his bio dad could grow a full beard at 12. He is now 11 with the same size shoe as me, and probably right at 5ft. (haven't measured recently)
2. He will be emotionally behind the other kids, not able to interact, blah blah blah, how many kids in any given classroom are exactly the same age? There can be up to 1.5 years difference in ANY single class room depending on birthdates, wether the kids were held back, did their parents wait a year to put them in kindy....no big deal.
3. When the other kids are driving, he still won't be.....So what? My husband and I had fall b-days and were driving before most of our friends, some of them didn't drive until the summer after us. Again, it's life, no biggie.

So, they let me get him tested, because in Puyallup, the child has to have a certain I.Q. level to enter early. He passed w/ flying colors, all the while they were discouraging me from putting him in.
He got in to Kindergarten early, and things were great! he was soooooo happy. Then about a month or so in, they call me in to the office to tell me that they have to take him out because they had several 1st graders that were not ready for 1st grade, and had to come back to kindy, and so there wasn't room for Chris because he wasn't "supposed" to be there. It was very very sad, and I felt horrible for my poor little boy who just wanted to go to school sooo bad. I should have looked into it more, but really, I just felt that they were determined not to let him get ahead. It makes me angry.
By the time another year had passed, Chris went into kindy reading at a 2nd grade level. He was bored out of his mind and hated the work because it was the same stuff he'd been doing in preschool for 2 years already. The teacher helped as much as she could, and let him tutor other kids and got him into the Advanced Reader Program, but school was a struggle for him.....until we got him into the "highly capable program" He's been in it now since 2nd grade, and last year school finally got challenging. Not only is he the oldest in his class, he is still the biggest, and he is in a 5th/6th highly capable program with kids older than him.....exactly what they told me would be so detrimental...(rolling eyes) Oh, and he's bigger than all but one of them too.
Anyway, all that to say, you push for what YOU feel is right for YOUR son. You know him best. I do wish now that I had pushed harder, found a different school to put him in, something, but I'm happy to say that he is now doing 7th grade math, H.S. level reading, and w/ be able to go straight into Honors classes at the Jr. High level.
It is very likely you have a very special boy on your hands, it will be trying at times, but so worth the reward!
Good luck Mama!

Definitely wait. This is my 6th year of teaching elementary school, and the kids who struggle the most are those who were pushed in early, especially boys. If your son had an august birthday and met the cut off, I'd still tell you to wait another year. Try a preschool program for this coming year. Academics is only part of the reason kids go to school. In my opinion, the social piece is much much more important. And young boys simply aren't ready for kindergarten early. If he is really smart academically, you can always try for the gifted program when you actually do start school if he needs an academic challenge.

Wait! i have talked to many people myself and have friends in the school system, and they all say wait!
right now, Kindergarten, we all think, "My kid can do that!" but what about in 7th grade when he is 11, and there are 12 and even 13 year olds in his class, studying Algebra, Science, computers etc. There will be kids starting to have sex, do drugs, etc. all scary to me!
i don't want my child to have to struggle to keep up because he is always the youngest, or to be influenced by older kids in bad behaviors. i want to ensure that he is the older child, that is confident, and has grown confidently without too many difficulties in his studies, and his values, without too much undue pressure. especially the way life is now for our kids, with so many activities, why stack the deck so high for them from the beginning.
let kids be kids for as long as they can, enjoy discovery now! there will be little art, music, dance and play in our schools now. so take the time to give him that now at home, he'll be a more confident, well rounded, and secure person because of it!
if you feel he isn't challenged enough when he is older there are lots of programs, like " running start " or after school activities you can add for him! You can do things as a family, because he won't be home struggling with homework!
it's easy to think our kids are brilliant now, (they are!) but by waiting you give him a better chance to be brilliant all the way through his school years!
good luck!

Can you have him evaluated for readiness by the school?
I teach first grade and we see how much better it is in general for a boy to be older in first grade. If you want him to play sports later in school he will be bigger and stronger by highschool if he waits a year.
I see more people who regret or pay the price for a child who is not emotionally ready for school.
I hope you can talk with some educators in your area to get some good advice for your son. Each child is unique!
Sandy D

Hi Melissa,

I don't think it really matters all that much about the age of the child. I started kindergarten early because the rules were different when I was a kid. I would say, ask your child what they want. Life is ALL about choices. A child will generally react better to being given options rather than making the decision for him or her. He does sound very smart, but in some cases it is about being comfortable as well. You are a very loving mom and he is blessed to have you in his corner. :)

Blessings,

K.S.

Hello!
I was going through the same decision and was more than ready to have my son into school...but I waited that long extra year and I think it is the best decision I've ever made. He is ahead of the class in reading and math which has given him great confidence in school. He really likes school and I think if I had put him in at age five, there would have been a lot more resistance and whining about school. Think about this, your son will always be the older guy in the class which will give him just that much more confidence, knowledge, maturity (which will be wonderful when he is a teenager). I talked to about 20 different school teachers and not one of them agreed with putting a child in early. From their experience the younger (boys especially) had much more trouble than the older (boys). I say wait! I know it will be hard on you! But in the long run I think you will never regret the decision. (and think of it this way, if he is too young for kindergarten it would be more detrimental to have him repeat a year of school than if he is excelling as the oldest in the class and has to be put forward a year, or put in more advanced classes!)

Good luck! It is a tough decision!
Stephanie - Mom of 7 year old boy and 5 year old girl

Melissa, your concerns about sending your 'not quite 5 year old boy' to kindergarten are sound. I have a son, who is 11, with a November birthday (he is one of the older one's in his class). I also have 9 and 5 year old daughters with spring birthdays... I am a stay at home mom, as well, and know your frustrations (my kids are all high activity) but DON'T DO IT!! I volunteer in the classroom 2 days a week and am constently witnessing the frunstrations of immature boys and it has nothing to do with their 'smarts'... I am very happy with my son's place in his class - he is currently in the 5th grade. He is full of self-confidence (although he is shorter than most of the girls, but so are most of the boys that age). I would suggest that if you need some 'down-time' or more for him to do - research out and find a nice pre-school that would help him work on his social skills for another year. Believe me, in Kindergarten, that is what really matters...
Hope this helps,
S.

My son's birthday is early October as well and he is also high energy but certainly not ADD/ADHD...he's just a boy that likes to move. I did not even consider trying to get him into kindergarten school right before he turned 5, and when I put him in preschool that fall, he was bored stiff...a PreK program may have been better, but I just kept him at home and we did kindergarten workbooks together and just played. I figure he'll be in school or have responsibilities for the rest of his life and it wouldn't harm him to let him be free for one more year. He started half day kindergarten last fall and is doing great...and for him, being at the head of the class in reading and math helps with confidence and facilitates his desire and ability to learn new things. Based on his personality, this all worked out very well and I've said it more than once that I'm glad he is on the older end of the age spectrum. Full day kindergarten would have been too long for him to sit through at the beginning of the year, but now he could do it. I think for most boys (and some girls), maturity to handle school comes with age. My son gets far more out of school because of his ever increasing maturity than he would have if I would have pushed him early. There are boys 6 months younger than him, well within the age limit for kindergarten, that are far more difficult in the class room and they end up disrupting the other students. One of these boys is actually an advanced reader, but he is a constant disruption, although it is getting better as he just turned six. Six seems to be a magic switch for boys from what I've heard and experienced myself. There are of course, exceptions to every rule and only you know what is best for your son.

04/08/08

Dear Melissa - I completely understand your questioning your choice. I am a mom of a 16 year old son. At that age I questioned the same things, although he could attend -- should he? I decided to wait and let him learn more through preschool full time until the next school year. It was the best thing I could have done looking back now. Boys are very intelligent yet on some levels lack the emotional growth to start school at the younger age. The extra energy sometimes can distract them from the actual learning that is happening in class. This might turn them off from the class room setting because they are so active. You want him to have an extremely terrific experience starting school, not a negative experience because he wants to play and can't. You should go with your gut feelings - this is only my experience. Every child is different. Go with your heart. S.

Hi, it is so hard to make big decisions for our children and not knowing the future outcome.
A little about me. I am a former teacher. I taught 1- 3rd grades. PLEASE WAIT. It will not do him any harm and will actual benefit from being more mature. Being ready for school is not only about how intellegent they are. It also involves, physical, emotional, and mental readiness. It is a huge life change for them and they need the emotional capacity to deal with it.
You are already doing great by him by keeping him busy with all kinds of social activities and knowing all his letters, numbers, etc. You will see huge growth in his mental focus when he does enter school.

I am a mom of three girls, ages 6, 4, and 10months. I am loving being a mom right now but when my youngest enters Kindergarten , I hope to go back to teaching. It is so worthwhile.

Goodluck in your decision.

Hi Melissa~
I understand the high energy. My son, not quite 3 1/2 is very big for his age, very tall, completely off the charts and he is full, full, full of energy. I have several friends with boys who have October/November birthdays. From my observations, it is best to wait and not try to have them start early. Boys may be ready intellectually ready but not emotionally. Girls with September/October birthdays are often more ready to get in early than boys. It's just the differences in how they develop. I would suggest finding a good pre-school that has a strong academic program. This will reinforce what he already knows and introduce him to a classroom type setting. Even just two or three days a week. Having helped out in several kindergarten classes and athletic programs for kindergarten age children, you can very easily pick out the children who went to some type of preschool and those who didn't. They just adapt more quickly. Having him in sports is great too. It teaches him to follow direction, stand in line, wait his turn. My son has been in swimming since he was about 7 months and now that he is in classes without a parent he is really learning more than just swimming - patience (HA HA), waiting for his turn, listening to directions. You know you child better than anyone - follow your gut feeling, you will know what is right. I also think there is quite a lot of testing involved before the school districts will allow an exception to start early. Something else to consider, if you want to put him through all of that or not. Good Luck!!!

I would suggest waiting...I think our society has successfully pressured parents to load more and more academics onto children at younger and younger ages, and I believe they should be age appropriate children as long as possible. Which to me means letting them just be kids for as long as they can...enjoying playing and learning amazing things through play and social interactions. These are important things, building a self-awareness that is a strong foundation to academic learning, nurturing the imagination. Good luck in your choice...listen to your innate motherly wisdom, you know your child best.

I'm a Kindergarten teacher in the Kent School District and I've seen both situations where children should be put into Kindergarten early and others that shouldn't have. Academics is only a part of it. He will probably make it into Kindergarten early if he takes the test (In my school district it costs money...I think it was $300...I'm not quite sure though.) But the emotional part is what troubles us more than academics. How does he do with older children. All Kindergarteners are wiggly when they go into Kindergarten, we get them used to school and transition them slowly into being able to sit and listen to stories, etc. But being ready academically doesn't mean that he is ready emotionally. I've had kiddos come into school knowing all their letters and sounds and even able to read, but they are not interested in school. I've also had kids come into school that are not academically ready, but emotionally they are and those students catch up very easily. I've also had children who are academically and emotionally ready. So you need to ask yourself whether your son is ready to learn and will be excited about school. You don't want to put him in early if he's not going to enjoy school. Also know that school is much different than it used to be. I have a wide range of Kindergarteners and I teach to their ability level so that they are gaining skills no matter what academic level they are. Go visit a Kindergarten classroom, express your concerns with the teacher (I'd be happy to do this also if you like) Have him sit in on a class. It's amazing how different kiddos act at home compared to at school. I have parents who struggle to work with their kids, but when they come into the classroom they are so attentive and excited to learn. This is a tough decision, but know that if you do choose to put him in Kindergarten early, you can always pull him out if you feel like it was too soon. You might also want to check out a Montissori school. A lot of children benefit from the hands-on approach that these schools have (so often we are so worried about academics that we don't give the children enough time to learn through play and they miss some essential skills...I did my thesis on this.)

I am a first grade teacher and I say no doubt about it....WAIT! Even though the academic skills may be solid, the social piece may give him trouble. It is very evident, even in first grade, when we have a kiddo with a summer birthday who is young. For his sake and yours in the long run, wait a year.

The trend is to wait a year even on kids who turn 5 as early as May. That being said if your son goes to kindergarten this year there will be some children who are over a year older than he is. Being a preschool teacher who teaches a pre-kindergarten class we see many children who definitely benefit from the extra year out of school. We have students who repeat our program and the difference in the confidence is significant. As older kids they become class leaders and have many kids look up to them. Good luck in making a big decision.

Hi Melissa,

I'm sure you've had quite a few responses on this. I have a 6 year old boy and a 13 month old boy. I put my son in school as soon as he turned 5. His birthday is Aug. 3.

I found out that although he was academically ready that he was not physically ready. Please do not make the same mistake I did. I wish I had put him in to a preschool/daycare first. This will help teach the young boy that there are times to play and times to sit.

My son is currently in his second year of Kindergarten. This is all due to the fact that he just had too much energy to sit for 10 minutes. This distracted him so much that he just didn't do any of the activities the other kids were doing and distracted them as well.

In this school district, the #1 rule is this: No child has the right to interfere with another child's learning.

That's was a big issue. I ended up having to meet with the principal, counselor, school psych and teacher. And during this time, because I was pregnant and about to pop, not to mention on bed-rest, (yeah right! no such thing with an active 5 year old) we decided to just remove him from school for about a month. This way also he could get used to having a sibling.

It seamed to have worked and now he's doing MUCH better in school. That first year was more like an "idea" for him what school is all about.

Good Luck to you.

~T.~
ps. I hadn't read your decision before I posted this. lol sorry.

I teach preschool, so I am very interested in school requirements for Kindergarten readiness. One thing I am discovering is that kindergarten programs vary greatly from school to school. My suggestion would be to visit the school where your son will be attending so you can visualize what the environment is like and whether or not it is suitable for your son's development (physically, socially, etc.) at the present time. You know your son, but remember that sometimes, children can really surprise you at what they are capable of in different environments. God bless you as you are on this parenting journey. :)

Well, clearly this is a judgment call, but it sounds like your son is advanced intellectually, but maybe right at his age group socially. I base this on advice from my daughter's preschool teacher. When I asked her what the prerequisites were for Kindergarten, she was talking about things like potty training and being able to follow simple instructions. When I asked her for specific ability requirements, she said that the kids don't even have to know their ABC's or colors or anything. Those are the things they are expected to learn in Kindergarten. I was aghast, as (like you) I had a 4 year old who can read (I am guessing at probably a 1st grade level) do simple adding and subtracting, and knows the basics of geography. She is so far beyond "learning her colors, ABC's and how to count" that she would be bored out of her mind if that were the curriculum. My solution has been to put her in the Montessori program this year and next year (which is when she will be in Kindergarten.) Then, when she is in 1st grade, they will test her to see if she is "gifted." If she is, they can develop a more challenging education plan for her. My understanding is that they don't do that in Kindergarten.

I do think it is important to keep in mind whether your child will be bored in school. When I was sent to Kindergarten, I was in a situation similar to what you are describing with your son, and after a week I flatly refused to go. It took my parents some stern discipline combined with lots of rewards to even get me back into the building. I HATED it. I was SO bored I couldn't stand it, and it put a bad taste for school in my mouth for years to come. Obviously, this is not the outcome you want for your son.

Of course, that was..ahem..a "few" years ago (not revelaing my age, but let's just say I am no longer a spring chicken.) Lots of things have changed. Why don't you call the school district you propose to send him and speak with a principal or director and vioce your concerns? See what they have to offer? Good luck, and by the way, you are lucky to have such a talented little guy.
R.

Melissa,

You have a hard decision on your hands, but I highly recommend waiting another year. Give him this last year to grow and mature. Boys typically mature alot slower then girls, especially high energy boys. My son is 5. He turned 5 in early August and is also very smart. He knew more then most kindergarteners before he started school, but I am considering holding him back in kindergarten just to give him one more year to mature. He excells academically, but not socially or in maturity. I can tell that he is the youngest in his class and he acts it. He doesn't want to do his work and has a hard time following simple instruction when he doesn't want to. The teacher says it's maturity not a discipline issue. If you do decide to push him through, then feel like his isn't ready for a full day of 1st grade at the end of the year, then it's alot harder on everyone. My daughter did 2 years of kindergarten just for this same reason, she wasn't ready for a full day of school in 1st grade. Academically she could do it, but maturity wouldn't let her sit still long enough. It was an extremely hard decision and it involved alot of people (family & school officials). So I HIGHLY recommend, waiting another year before you put him in school. If you would like to discuss this further, send me an email and we can talk more.

He sounds just like my son when he was little! My son is now almost 14, and going to be in 9th grade. He has a June birthday, and so I placed him into Kindergarten when he was 5 years and 2 months old. He went to preschool for 2 years and seemed totally ready for school. Now I wish I really would've waited! It's not that he was ever academically behind, it's just he has never been as mature as his mostly older (some by almost a year) classmates. Now that he is older, it really is a problem as some of his friends are into things (like girls, ect) that he really has no interest in yet, as he is not as emotionally mature. This makes it hard for him on a social level, and he was also tested for ADHD (teacher recommended) in 1st grade as he was very high energy. He didn't have the maturity level to sit and do seat work (not ADHD). So if I were you, I would wait another year, give him a little more time to grow up emotionally, you will not regret it, because I sure regret not waiting now! I was like you, I could not wait for him to go to school! But I was only 19 when I had him, now I am 33 and work at a school. So I definately see the benefits of waiting to send a child to school! Hope this helps! Good lucki!

Hi,
Here's my advice after teaching kindergarten for over 20 years: DO NOT PUT HIM IN EARLY!
Speaking on behalf of many k teachers including ones here in Bellingham it is not in the best interest of your child. He may be extremely bright academically but that does not mean he's ready developmentally or emotionally. I have never had a child who struggled because his parents held him back. Kids who are so much younger than the group have problems through the early grades and sometimes into high school. They are always a year or more younger than the rest of the class and it shows.
On behalf of k teachers everywhere. Please give your child the gift of time. It will benefit him for the rest of his life. He's going to be in the school system for a long time. Give him the best start possible.

As a kindergarten teacher and mother of two children with late birthdays, I recommend that you wait if you have any hesitation at all. The most intelligent child will be frustrated and struggle if s/he is not developmentally ready. Furthermore, I have seen more children given labels like ADD, or retained, simply because they were immature. Your child may develop a great deal over the summer, remember that a few months is a huge percentage of a kindergartner's lifespan. However, you will know he is ready when he can do the following: have successful experiences in large group situations such as preschool, controls impulsive behavior, can attend for 15-20 min (even when it is not his choice), manages his anger or frustration in appropriate ways, and shows responsiblity in caring for himself and his belongings. Children need to have these skills to be successful learners.

I always tell parents that they know their child best. Trust yourself and watch your child in "school like" situations. There is no reason you can't register him and then decide not to enter him in September (unless you have to go through early entrance testing). However, remember this may be your last year with him before he enters school. Set him up for success and enjoy the time you have with him. It goes so fast! If he is lightyears ahead of the other students you can always move him ahead in the coming years. That's my two bits!

As a certified teacher, based on the information you've given, I would not push him in early. I really don't think there are many valid reasons to push ANY child in early either. Kindergarten and first grade are crucial years of adjustment. You can't go back if you decide later. Here's my take- your child will either be one of the oldest in the class or the youngest. From your child's stand point he will probably like being the oldest thru most of his school years. In my experience, the older children have an advantage socially, emotionally, and intellectually. Why would you want to risk that?
It does look like he's on track academically-so I wouldn't push academics at home (besides reading everyday!) Little fun math experiences would be helpful also. But, I'd focus on getting him ready socially (taking turns, waiting in line, listening to the teacher) by putting him in a pre-kindergarten class. Look into a co-op if money is an issue or join an active play group. Keeping him busy with sports is a good idea too.

It sounds like your little guy has lots of things to keep him busy and stimulated! I've found with my very high energy 3 year old that sometimes what he really needs is down time after a period of physical play. It allows him to settle down and "re-group". Kindergarten might be really beneficial to him as a way to channel some of his energy. Or maybe he needs some more calming activities intertwined with his more active ones? Then again don't most pre-schools have kids through age 5? Maybe having him involved in that kind of a format (maybe one for older or advanced 4-5 year olds or something) instead would facilitate both his need for learning and your need of some much needed free time! Remember, too, that if it doesn't work out or you realize he's not ready, you can always try again next year!

Melissa, This is coming from a mom of a highly active 3.5 year old boy and a 10 month old girl. I have not been in your situation so take my advice for what it is worth.

It sounds like your son is very smart and independent for his age. But think of it this way. This child will be in school for the next 13-17 years of his life. What's the rush?

This is not something you have to push. I find so many mom's competing. I am not saying this is your situation but who cares what age your child goes to Kindergarten? If he is more than ready put him in if you have any second thoughts...wait!

There is no harm in waiting. Another plus...if he is athletic in high school he will be bigger than other kids in his class therefore giving him an advantage. I married an athlete...so we talk about these things!

Anyways...good luck. You will make the right decision...just don't be pressured to do something you or your son is not ready for just so he could have the title of graduating from Kindergarden at age 5!

I have 3 kids ages 11 6 and 21 months and I was a child who went to school early academically was great but emotionally i paid the price in first grade and was held back My 6 year old has a birthday in July again academically great but I decided and it was hard but I waited the extra year and she is soo much better for it not only is she more than ready for first grade her maturity level is ready for the long days. I guess I would ask my self this how tired does your child get after 4 hours of school work or you may be in an all day kindergarten, I think we rush our children too fast to grow up and learn I like to have that extra year and where your child is a late birthday he is actually a year behind, but like I said every child is different and I would base this decision on his maturity level.

If I could do it over, I would have waited. My son turned 5 Aug 31st and that year it was the same day school started. I had him tested by the teachers and they said he was ready. So I took the plunge. He did fine with the work load but was exhausted by the end of the day. His intellect was right on track but his maturity level was not. Emotionally they are not ready. As the years went by, he was younger than anyone in his class. As the teen years hit, he was unable to do the things his friends were doing. Driving, curfew, dating etc.. He was never with kids his age, they were always older and he always struggled with it. I would wait. There is no rush and another year at home where you control his environment will be beneficial to both of you. My son will be 21 this Aug 31st.

As a mom of 1 who is one of the youngest in the class, b-day Aug.14 now 14yrs. and 1 who is the oldest, b-day Sep. 10 now 9yrs. I would say wait. Being the youngest is hard even if you are intellectually able. The emotional part catches up with them as they get older. Mine who is younger has experienced this a lot. I almost kept her back just to let her catch up. She always hung around with the kids a year younger than her and could relate better to them. My other daughter has had no such problems and is one of the more mature kids in her class. She is able to navigate emotional situations with the other kids and feels good about herself for being able to help the other kids with their problems.
I would say wait. There is no rush! Soon you will be wishing you had them at home more.

I'm raising my granddaughter, now age 11. I've had custody since she was age 2. She has ADHD, which was not evident until the past few years. I put her in kindergarten at age 5. She is now in 6th grade and is really struggling. I wish I could start over with her. If I could do it again, I would keep her out of school for another year. She also knew her alphabet, etc., and I thought she was ready for school but now that she's past the "easy" first years, she is not emotionally equal to most of her classmates, who are mostly older than she. My advice would be to keep your son home for another year. He will benefit from it down the road.

Sounds like you are making an excellent choice. Pre-school is a good "in-between" for that age and I applaud you for not pushing your son out the door!
My oldest son just missed the cut off date by a couple of weeks, and the teacher said we could put him in 'early' if we wanted. I chose to keep him out another year, and now he is in the 10th grade. Let me re-assure you: I HAVE NEVER REGRETTED IT FOR ONE MOMENT!
The list of benefits is long and I could go on and on about all the reasons it was right for him.
Good Luck to you and yours!

Dear Melissa,
I is not now you need to worry about with your son, but later down the road into middle school/high school. It may be wise to hold off and send him later. He won't be the smallest, the youngest, nor will he be the biggest or oldest in his classes. My son was very small (Sept 27th birthdate) and by the time he was in middles school he was bullied a lot. I took him out and home schooled him until high school. He was bigger, then, but also a lot smarter than the other kids and lost interest. My fault, as I was worried I was not teaching him fast enough, but never the less, I think if I'd waited until the following year he would have been more physically paced with the other children. He is an adult now, and is still teaching himself anything he wants to learn. Your son seems as if he is similar in this.
I do not think it will make a lot of difference holding him back a year. You are his teacher, after all, and the school is a suppliment to what education he will receive throughout his life.
Good Luck,
J. S

I never regret keeping my son out one more year (and he is now 21!). I even wish I had kept my March birthday boy out one more year. Statistically, something like 75% of early starts repeat a grade, and something like 80% of those repeaters are boys.
Their social skills are still developing as they enter kindergarten; especially those with stay at home moms. I did put my boys into preschool to promote their skills at "waiting in line", sharing, following teacher instruction, etc. without the added stress (and it will happen!) of pleasing the teacher by being "smart". Boys especially like to "win", even if it's at academics, because they are so competitive. With preschool my boys (I have three!!) went to kindergarten prepared to behave and learn.
Also, many children today have preparation for school because of daycare situations; the skills I put mine into preschool to learn. (They loved preschool, by the way. There are some low cost, and I lucked out and found one with scholorships available.)
He will meet many children through soccer (sports) that he will be in school with next year, so that is a very good start on socializing as well.
The best gift from you to your children is to set them up to succeed. I really feel that "early start" boys need that extra year at home to mature.
Good luck!

Speaking from experience, WAIT! My son has a Septeber birthday and had to wait to enter kinder. Two months into kinder I had him tested and moved to first grade. Needless to say I now homeschool him because emotionally he was not ready. You want your son to have ALL the skills neccesary not just the academics part. Looking back I would have left my son in kinder to give him the social development that he needed. Have you thought about preschool for him or lessons such as swimming or tball? That way he still gets to interact with kids his own age and have fun too? Waiting may also help him to be a leader and be a more confident kindergartner. Hope this helps

Hello, I have a 14 year old boy in his freshmen year in high school and my husband and I always think in hind sight, we should have kept him back a year, he is a July birhday. My daughter who is 7 now, is a November birthday, and is doing just fine. Our son always struggled in school and I really think for boys, it is all about maturity. Schools don't teach to boys, they teach more to girls, in the fact that they sit more than move which can be hard for any child let alone an active "normal" boy. My advice, for both your son and you, keep him out of school and home for one more year, so that he will have a chance to get some more time & maturity under his belt. A pre-school would really be good, it would teach him how to sit still and be in a more structued atmosphere.

Good Luck, L.

Intellctually, it sounds like he's ready. Physically and emotionally - "they say", it's best to wait. My son, was like yours, I waited. He is now in third grade. He's loving school - yes, at the top of his class, but what a confidence booster! If he was a super genius - the school would advance him. As you mentioned there are a lot of other stimulating activities to get him involved in. My sister, (a doctor) has her 4 and 5 year olds in Chinese. They LOVE it. There's my 2 cents!

I would defintely wait. I have a daughter who is 28 now and she had a late birthday and we lived in an area where just barely made the cut off. She too was ready academically but she always struggled socially. I would encourage you to try a pre-school or pre-kindergarten to get him adjusted. If I had to do it again I would have defnitely waited. I know that my daughter would agree with me and she said she wished she could have been the oldest in the class instead of the youngest. She went to college at 17 which was too young. I hope this helps!
PS in Everett

As far as I know, I know think you have a choice. I believe that the schools are very strict about the cut-off and you'll have to wait another year. Truthfully, it is probably for the best for him to succeed and be ahead, rather than behind. We have two boys and plan on having even my son whoms birthday is in July wait another year when the time comes. Any my other son will be starting Kindergarten this fall, and will be 6 in December. My birthday is in October and the cut-off used to be different, but I was always the youngest in my class...always the last to do things (drive, etc.)...and I think it would be even tougher for a boy. Anyhow - hope that helps! Take care!

I have a 4 1/2 yr old boy with an October bday. I will not put him in early, mainly because I have an older daughter who made the cut off by two weeks, was reading, etc. and I thought if she's bored we'll be in trouble - so I sent her. Academically she does great - in junior high now and in the honors program, but emotionally she could have waited and I didn't see that until about a year or so ago. I feel now that having a child be older when they leave for college is better. So consider the long term.

I'd say wait and instead put him in a pre-Kindergarten preschool program. These pre-K programs are great for older kids who are almost ready to start Kindergarten. It was very successful for my 2 daughters who have October birthdays.

My daughter's birthday is September 11 and per our district policy the cut-off is Aug 31. Intelectually my girl was ready for kindergarten when she was 4 but emotionally not quite there yet. I highly recommend waiting until next year to put your son in kindergarten. I did find that preschool the year before kindergarten gave her (and me) some prep for "big kid" school.

Melissa, My daughters birthday is July. She started school that fall. At first she was getting in trouble for silly goofiness and talking. Her teacher noticed on her chart that she was just younger than 75% of the kids. We stuck through it and she was doing well by the second month of school. She was loved by her teacher and classmates. Her abilities in academics are average. She is kind and generous. She was lead actress in the Grandparents day play. It was awesome.

My research told me that I should maybe wait another year with a summer baby. Research recommended that summer boys wait another year. I agreed with this after volunteering. Phsycially she was ready and mentally it was 50/50 for me. I volunteered alot in her class. I think if we had waited another she would have been tops in class and possibly bored. It was the hardest decision we have ever made. She will be in first grade next year and she will be challenged mentally, but phsycially she will excel. It will be tough the first part of the year, but they grow and understand well. You may need for son to be evaluated if his birthday is after the deadline. School districts are getting tight about that deadline. Good luck.

Hello! I had a similar situation, and we dedided to wait, for a couple of reasons. Boys, in general, tend to mature a little slower, and so even though he may be ready for kindergarten now, will he be ready for the other grades (say junior high) that much earlier as well? Also physically - sometimes it can be a little more devastating for boys to be "smaller" or younger during those very awkward phases. The other thing was, even though I thought my son could handle kindergarten with no problems, would he be able to keep up throughout his whole school career? Or would he at some point just be trying to keep up, always feeling a bit younger or less mature? Then what do you do, keep him back a year? That seemed to be a more devastating idea. So we thought, give him the advantage of being a little bit older (and therefore wiser) in his class, and if he breezes through it because he's older and more mature, then great! I am happy with the decision that we made, and he's at the head of his class, and I'm glad we gave him that advantage. The only slight disadvantage is that we just need to make sure his teachers keep him stimulated if he were to get bored, which is not a big problem at all. Good luck!

I would find a local pre-kindergarten to enroll your son in. My youngest's birthday is at the end of September; so she is the oldest in her class. Academically she is ahead of most of the children in her class; socailly she is on target. It is usually better to adhere to the school's birthday cut off dates; as younger children tend to struggle with the routine of school and socially. This would also allow you the time to make sure your son is not ADD/ADHD. A good pre-kindergarten program will help you determine this.
I hope that this helps some.

Personally, I would wait. I have 2 boys and both have late birthdays (Oct. and Dec). I know my older one was probably ready for kindergarten at almost 5 but waiting that extra year until he was almost 6 really helped. Especially since we found out that he really was struggling with his writing. The extra time has helped greatly with that. Also it depends on where you live. Our district will not enroll unless they are 5 by Aug. 31. There is no early testing or anything. The fact that you have him in great activities and know what he is capable of is great. Keep it up and when he does go to school he will excell.
Good luck.

Hi Melissa,
I think your question/concern is common. I am a preschool teacher and I have some kids that missed the cutoff for Kindergarten. I even have a 3 year old that's already reading!! It does sound like your son is reading for Kindergarten on the academic level. However, If you don't think he is mentally/physically ready then I would certainly not push the issue. You wouldn't want him to start too early and then to only have to keep him back later. It's great to be academically ready but it is very important to have the social/mental readiness when heading onto school. Also, most schools will not let even let you enroll him because he is 5 after the cutoff date. I hope this helps.

My son has an october birthday and I tried to put him in early. The school wouldn't budge on the date. He was able to read before he started kindergarten and now he is totally bored. My advise is to find somewhere that will take him. If he is not doing well have him do kindergarten again. Its not that big of a deal.

Remember if you wait and he struggles in school because it is to easy for him what are you going to do then. That is my problem. The school is just not challenging enough for him and the teachers can't go out of their way to give him more.

Don't put him in to regain your sanity! (not a good reason, although I understand). Would it be possible to try it out and see how it went, and then take him out and wait till next year? I've had different experiences with myself and my kids: I have a November birthday so was younger than most of the kids, I was very good at school but smaller than the other kids and shy. They considered putting me ahead another grade but decided against it because I was so shy. My daughter started at 4 but did kindergarten twice because she was younger (our choice), and I held my son back in 2nd grade because he had missed so much school that he was behind in reading. My daughter caught up by skipping a grade in high school. Just remember that the social skills are important too, as is getting plenty of exercise - if your only option is a regular sit-in-your-seat kind of school, it might be best to wait. Have you considered homeschooling? or is there a good alternative type school where kids can learn at their own pace? Or maybe he could do that in a regular public school, so he's not bored? or it might be fine to start him early, I'd just say be open to what unfolds.

I would definately wait. Most districts wouldn't allow you to push him with that far off of a bday cutoff, without a test first. But it's more than academics, it's social skills too. Just think -if you wait a year, your son will be ahead of the game. Boys struggle more than girls at that age, so giving him an extra advantage will only help him excell. I'm a mom of 3 boys & you definately have your hands full if he's anything like mine. Get him into a play group in the meantime, or classes that involve working with other kids. Good luck!

try a private school, or co-op ( you could start your own if you can't find one) part of the day. he can learn from others , but not "have" to perform. age DOES matter.

let him grow up, and enjoy his youth more than your sanity.

once kids get in the system, you are done. the public schools will eat him alive. i know, i taught public school for 15 years.

I would try to put him in early. I went to kindergarten when I was 4 1/2. It really wasn't a big deal. I graduated from high school at 17. If things seem to be tough on him you can always hold him back another year, but I doubt it will be a problem. Most kids that age love to play and the first few weeks may be a little tough but once he makes friends and starts having fun I'm sure he will love it.

Melissa, I would wait if I were you. My youngest daughter had just turned 5 in June and started K in Sept. She was well above her classmates with knowledge but it was way to early for her emotionally for sure. My oldest daughter was 5 in March and then started K in Sept she was way more emotionally ready then my youngest and it showed. My youngest cried everyday for the whole year I dropped her off and it was very very hard. She wouldn't get on the bus from daycare!!! So it doesn't hurt anyone to wait. Hope my advice helps!!! Good luck. C.

My son has a mid-Sept bday. He was also advanced (or so we thought) for his age. In this day of computers many kids are ahead of what the "norm" is for their age. But, physically, socially and emotionally are really what count for him at this age. You have to have them tested to begin school early. My son tested at a 9yo level verbally, had some reading skills, etc., but his motor skills were a bit low. They accepted him, but we decided against it, and have not regretted it for one moment. If he isn't ready socially or emotionally, you will truely be starting his school career out on a bad foot. He won't really "learn" much in kinder., but this is really where you practice how to get along with others, sit still, follow a schedule. And, that might be too much for him at this age. This is a tough time for you as a mom, but believe me, they will both be in school, and busy as can be before you know it.

Hi Melissa,
I say put him in, it's not "that" early. I bet he would blossom so fast and really surprise you. Or, maybe no surprise, he seems pretty bright already! :-)

Good Luck!
K.

Your son will excel with waiting to enter kindergarten at almost 6 years old. To help you with your sanity get him into a pre-K classroom to get him ready for Kindergarten especially if it's going to be full day for him. Hopefully this will help with his attention span with activities that he may not be interested in now. My daughters birthday was the end of August and we waited even though she could have gone at age 5. You may not think of the long term benefits now of waiting but especially with a boy they mature later and being the oldest in a class is very good for their confidence & self esteem instead the youngest in the class.
Best of Luck on your decision.
L. Q

It sounds as if he's ready for preschool, or some other form of maybe half day socializing. You would probably also enjoy the one on one time with your 1 year old. I put my oldest in a preschool when she was 4 because she needed to learn how to play with others her own age. She actually did two years in a row for 3 hours twice per week. It worked great. I also was able to suck up the one on one time with my newborn son. You should also consider your already busy schedule.

Hey Melissa,

Re: keeping your kiddo home another year before kindergarten: three years ago we brought my son home from public school (he was almost through his kindergarten year and he has Down syndrome and has substantial bilateral hearing loss) and his little sister (16 months younger) has never been. I do NOT proselytize (sp?) on behalf of homeschooling but I will say this: it's the best thing we ever did for both kids. It's learning at their pace and it's thorough learning-we stay on a skill until each child has it mastered. 'nuff said on that.

Given that, I'm a BIG proponent of NOT starting boys early in a formal learning environment for a variety of developmental reasons (and not just because I'm a recently converted homeschooler).

The second thing I wanted to ask you about is your ASL tutoring. I mentioned our son has hearing loss. Just last night I was searching through google to find ASL classes in the area-preferably something that wouldn't break the bank. Can you tell me what you offer?

Thanks....I sincerely hope I don't offend you by sharing my opinion on homeschooling. I'm thrilled we're on the journey but I remember vividly proclaiming there was NO way I would EVER homeschool my kids. We're all on different paths.

All The Best,

G.

Hi Melissa,

My son is 7 now and he is very bright--like your son was reading at that age, counting, adding, etc. I *so* wish I'd waited for school for him. He just wasn't as mature as the other kids, and it ended up being a huge blow to his self-esteem. It did give me sanity, temporarily, but then as he struggled, it became a huge problem. At school, they have to sit still, there isn't a lot of space for getting out energy, especially young boy energy.

You will know what is right for your child though if you just follow your heart. If you decide not to go with school, could you afford a babysitter or home daycare for him during the week some, so that your need for sanity would be met?

Hi Melissa,
I had the same dilema with my son and we waited the extra year and I tell you it was the best thing for him. He was more ready to learn and I would not change the way I did it at all. I did put him into an ECAEP program before kindergarten though just to help with the boredom and give him some outside schooling experience. They always say boys are a bit slower in maturation and even learning so I believe the extra year was a benefit for him.
Good Luck!

I also have a son with an October birthday. I really wanted to start him early because he was ready and wanted to start school. The school districts - four different districts in two different states - would absolutely NOT allow him to start early. He ended up doing three years of preschool and starting all-day Kindergarten at almost 6. He is currently 10 and in an accelerated 4th grade class. The only reason that I am okay with his not being able to start early is due to this accelerated program that he is in. He scores in the 99th and 98th percentile for reading and math, and has always been at the top of his class. The other good thing about starting him "late" is that he is always one of the older kids on his sports teams, and one of the better/bigger players. I highly recommend keeping your son involved in sports, and if you find that you can't push your son to start school early, or if you decide that he is not ready, look into your district's accelerated program - hopefully they have one. It has been a life saver for my son.

Wait. I have three sons, oldest's bday is in April. The other two both have bdays in July. My oldest will be 7 in two weeks and is currently in Kindergarten. My younger boys will both go to Kindergarten after they turn 6. I have seen nothing but blessings from holding my oldest back. I also have an Aunt and a cousin who are both elementary school teachers and both said to wait on sending the boys to Kindergarten. Even if they were mentally ready, socially, boys are just not as ready to begin so young. Hope this helps.

Hi Melissa
I would keep him out for a year. Children that are HIGH energy in school is not what teachers want to deal with and if the teacher thinks he has ADD/ADHD he will be treated that way weather you like it or not. If the teacher starts to lable him that way in the school records than he will have to be tested and labled. It sounds like you have a GOOD handle on your son and he is probably learning more than if he was in school. Home school him more and give him a chance to gain a little more self controal. Also kids are not nice to each other and if there is a younger child the chances are that he will be picked on by the older children.

Good luck

I had kids that went in early and ones that did not. My suggestion would be to wait. My child who waited the year was much more prepared for school and did great in school. The ones who I put in early struggled both in the education and in the maturity level.

I had this issue with my daughter, but she was much younger.. I did do a little research on it and essentially it is up to the principal to decide whether the child is going to be allowed in.. Since your son is at the cut off within 2 months before his birthday you should talk to the principal about it.. Just explain that he is really smart and knows all the letters/number, etc. and that he just really wants to learn. It is at least worth a try! The worst that they will tell you is no he has to wait, but hopefully not, cause I dont think that at so close to the cutoff it would be that detrimental to your son! Good luck, S.

I would look for a pre-k program in your area that would help him learn the social skills he needs to succeed in public school. Or you could home school him for a year if that is an option for you.

Good Luck,
C.

I have had this situation myself. My son will be 5 one week after the cut off date. My daughter is currently in Kindergarten and comes home from school and "teaches" her brother what she learned in class. We feel that he would probably do very well but after talking with the principal we have decided to put him in the preschool and have him go to kindergarten at age 6. Good luck!

My middle son has an early October birthday and we had to make the same decision as well. I called and spoke with a couple of local school Principals and read a little bit before we decide to wait until next year.

Even though my son also knew enough that he wouldn't be behind in the class, he was not emotionally prepared. The people I spoke with were very kind and helpful and told me that they were having to hold back a majority of the boys who were "young" 5 when they started. They found that those boys were socially not at the same place as the girls and they struggled more overall. I really do think it makes a difference during that year. I think it's better for them to be an older child in the class then to risk the chance of them struggling and having to repeat Kindergarten.

Best of luck!

Wait another year. Especially with boys, there is no reason to push him ahead. He will be behind physically and emotionally. My sister has been researching holding back her incredibly bright son who has a late June birthday (meets the cutoff) and she is going to because she has gotten strong advice that even though he's in the appropriate age, it is really hard for boys to be the youngest, especially when they get to middle school. I have boys with November and December birthdays. Sometimes it is hard to think of waiting until they are almost six until I get some of my freedom back, but I would never push them ahead to something that will hurt them in the long run.

I'd wait. The research shows that on average, whether kids start early or late, but third or fourth grade there are no differences academically. So much of school is social and if he is not ready socially and emotionally he and the teacher will just be frustrated. If he is ahead academically, then let him start next year when he can be at the head of the class and ready socially/emotionally rather than putting him in now with the possibility of being a disruption to the class.

Wait.
My oldest son's b-day was July 4 and I sent him to school when he was 5 because acording to the district cut of date of August 31 his b-day fell before plenty of time.
This was not the case. Like your son if it was somehting that he was interested in , he was fine, but if he was not interested or not in the mood at the time...forget it. in the end we held him back in kindergartden for another year. and he was fine. Also instead of being the youngest in his class he was still was not the oldest in his class when he went to his second year of K.
Our babies grow up so fast as it is. Once he starts schoolthe years go by in a flash. take this time to enjoy him and all his energy. Keep him home until he is 5 and then send him to school.

My daughter is 4 or will be 4 in May. Like your son, she is advance. She can count to 15, say her abcs, she knows her letters, colors and shapes. She learning to write her letters without an help from our family. She will be going to Pre-K (here they call it K4) this fall. I love the class because she will only be going to school m-w-f for only 3 hours a day. I wanted her to be able to be sociable with other children and learn some basics (standing in a line, raising her hand, asking to do things, etc.). I choose this private school because they place the children in the class with kindergardeners and they actaully have lessons. I would have to pay for pre-k because here its not paid for by the public school system or its low income and we do not qualify for that. The prek I chose was private because its more affordable. Pay attention to pre-k classes some are more like day cares and you don't want to pay the cost of pre-k if they dont learn anything. So obvisously my opinion is put him in a pre-k so he can get some basics.

other kids in his class will be a whole year older than your son if you put him in early. My cousin is a speech therapist who sees parents who rush their children to school, only to suffer in the long run. Besides, he won't have his license until his Junior year. Physically boys are slower growers than girls. My son has a 9/2 b-day and I will be waiting until he is 6. My daughter has an 8/16 b-day and I will also be waiting for her to enter, just because I want my kids to have confidence in their abilities to communicate with others. I don't want them to struggle constantly.

Why not find a pre-school that has a summer program. See how he does with that & then make your decision if he is ready or not. The pre-school teacher should be able to help answer some or your questions whether he is ready or not. If he is then the pre-school with help him prepare for the school year.

melissa,
do you live in the washington area? i too, am a ASL-er. would love to meet you! email me off line if you wish: ____@____.com
a

Hello, I know where your at. We have two VERY smart and Very active boys (15 will be 16 mid Oct. and an 10 will be 11 mid June). We hade our oldest go through the testing to enroll in to kindergarden early. He flew through the testing and be was and still sitt big for his age along with socially he is the leader. not because he wants to be. That is just what happend. What we were told was everything will go on wonderful until 7th - 8th grade. Boys just really need more time to get through puberty. They almost go brain dead. I have seen it with our oldest and our second boy is starting it now.

I guess ask yourself this question: Would I rather my son be the top % of the class through out or just through grade school??
I strongly recommend waiting. If you are having a hard time with challenging him maybe consider a pre-school, like Montessori. Lots of hands on learning which is always fun and educational.

Mommy knows best.

Look into private school. If the census is down they will accept younger kids if they are ready. I did kindergarten twice for my kids first a half day private school then all day at the Catholic school they graduated from. My son was like yours very academic and ready however he was shy (not any more), so he got the best of both worlds since he was challenged younger but a little older socially when he went again and because it was all day with new activities he wasn't bored. We also challenged him outside of school. He is finishing up his freshman year at WSU. My sister early started her son and petitioned Olympia to get him into first grade because he was academically ready. He struggled for a while socially but is now in a fraternity and on the Deans List at the University of Idaho.

Good Luck
C.

You know, I put my son in early (he's a late Sept. baby)to a Montessori Charter School, and it was wonderful for him. He did great! But you know what I missed? All those classes that he's taking right now? You can't take them anymore once school starts. :>(
Look into a part time (2 hour a day) preschool- Montessori, if possible. It teaches them life skills, how to direct themselves, play quietly by themselves or invite others to their "space", to put their toys and work away - a BIG plus in my book, and to be very confident. He's now a sophomore in High School, gets A's, is smaller than the rest and gets teased, but has lots of older friends. Good luck!

I would definately push him in. Especially if he knows all of those things already. My 5 yr old is in kindergarten and he didn't know all of the things that your son knows and we thought ours was ahead of the gang when he started. Our son also has extremely high energy, even when it is something he enjoys he still has trouble sitting still. But kindergarten has been really good for him, and his teacher has been great in dealing with his fidgetyness (spelling?). So I would say go for it, get him in there!
K.

WAIT!!!!!!! Think about it when he is graduating, do you want a 17 year old heading off to college alone?? I am a teacher, and I think pushing a child into school is not a good idea. I have seen both sides of the situation. I could say possibily send him if he was turning 5 in late July or August, but October, I would not even give it a thought. He should go with the students his age. Think about it down the road in the coming years. Good Luck with your decision!

I'm on the waiting side and chose to do so with my son who had a June birthday and was old enough to send.

I felt guilty about not sending him until I walked into his first parent teacher conference and the teacher thanked us for making the best decision to wait to send him.

When deciding, I polled my friends with boys who had summer birthdays. Most talked about how their child was much more confident and could handle school better being the older child. The comment that resinated most with me was that you also have to consider what may happen when they are a teen. If they are on the older side, they are less likely to follow the crowd and to make better decisions.

I found that my older and younger sons with March birthdays are one of the youngest children in their classes. The trend really seems to be to "wait to send" your son (as opposed to the negative message - "held back").

My son who waited a year is super confident - school is easy for him and he excells (even being considered for the gifted program). It is such a gift to see him really enjoy school.

Good luck.

Go with your instinct, is he socially mature enough? If you decide to put him in early, you can always take him out and put him in the following year if it doesn't work out. My step son is an August 4 baby, his mom put him in early, but he didn't do well enough socially, so she took him out and put him in the following year. He was a really smart kid too, just a 'late bloomer'.

Melissa,
I am a kindergarten teacher and I have never heard of a district allowing a child to enter kindergarten BEFORE they are 5. Does your district allow some kind of testing to determine if they're ready? I find that very interesting if they do!
On the idea of putting him in early... DON'T! Yes, he may be academically ready but more often than not, a child who is that young is not ready mentally to go into kindergarten. The kindergartens of today are not the kindergartens we grew up in (I don't know if you went to kinder but mine was purely coloring, playing in the sand box, singing and resting!). There are so many requirements these little guys have to meet which means they spend a lot of time sitting and listening to the teacher teach, then moving on to do activities at the tables. Yes, a good teacher would have activities that stimulate the kids in many different ways but if a child is not mentally ready to stayed "tuned in" to one thing for a long period of time, then it's not worth it to either one of you. If he doesn't like kindergarten then you might have problems the rest of his educational career because kinder is the first experience he has with what school is going to be like.
Keep in mind also that upon entering kindergarten you don't just have the 5 year olds- you have the child who missed the cut-off last year and will be six the second week of school. Your child may enter way ahead of the others- that's your chance to enrich him! This year instead of kinder put him in all types of brain-enriching activities! Not just physical ones but mental ones too!
I hope this helps. I have seen the child who is youngest in the class flounder an entire year and I have seen the youngest flourish. The same with the oldest child. It mostly depends on how the parent prepares them for kindergarten. Wouldn't you rather set your child up for success than failure?
M.

Hi Melissa,

I am a stay at home mom with a small private practice in Speech-Language Pathology. I have four children ages 9, 7 and 2.5 year old twins. My advice would be to wait another year to start kindergarten. It will only give him that more of an advanage and work in his favor for older years. Especially since he has missed the cut-off anyway. He may be ready as far as educational skills go, but his "high energy" may lead to some distractiblity issues in later years when the demands for independant learning are stronger. Plus it gives him one more year to "just be a kid".

Hope this helps,
S.

If you wait, don't be surprised if they skip him up to first grade after testing him the first couple of days. If your send him now he won't miss the fun experience and emotional development that Kidergarten can offer.

My daughter went into K with a second grade reading level. As we had to move in the middle of the year, they went with the recommendation that she be put in first grade because she was so far ahead academically. It back fired because she was emotionally immature. Because of her extremes I took her out and homeschooled her because her teacher couldn't handle her and I was being called to the school a lot.

My two cents!

J.

I started my son when he was five and I feel it was a huge mistake. He is now 8 and has struggled with school from the start.
My husband and I felt he was ready. At age five he had a huge vocabulary and was mature.I wish there was a book of what schools expect from students when entering kindergarten.
I wish I would have waited just one more year to start him. I think that would have made a huge difference.

Good luck in what ever you choose to do..

Well, since he doesn't qualify, per the age requirement, you would have to have him tested to push him in. If he then qualifies he can start early. I think you should wait. Especially since he is a boy, he is probably not emotionally ready yet. He will have a greater chance of success through out his school career if you wait. He has 13 years + of school, why jump the gun? Maybe when he is ready for first grade, he could skip it and go to second if he places high enough on a test. That way he still has this year to mature before going off to school, but he won't have to endure 1st grade if he already knows what they are teaching. I wouldn't skip K though because they learn how to go to school in K.

Him waiting another year is not a bad thing. It would probably be a good thing, especially if he has problems sitting still. My sons birthday is September 12th and the cut off date is September 1st, we are waiting another year because he needs that extra year of preschool. Another year of preschool sounds like a good idea.

As tempting as it feels to put him in early, (I am facing the same thing), I personally think it is better to wait. It gives them one more year to develop physically as well as emotionally and will hopefully help later when entering high school and puberty.

I was pushed in with a late b-day and growing up I was always one of the smallest in the class. I was able to keep up with all the work but emotionally it was hard to keep up because I was just not on the same level as my peers I was always playing catch up in that regard I wish my parents would have waited and let me start a year later just to grow up a bit more. KWIM? You could possibly find a co-op pre-school for him or privat -k- and see how he handles it that way

Hi, Melissa! You have a very important question that many mothers ponder over each year. I am a special education teacher and was put into school early as well (my birthday is at the end of September), and I would suggest keeping your child home another year. Although I was also ready intellectually, I never fit in with my classmates. I was socially behind (being a shy only child with no cousins didn't help), and it never got better. Now, from a teacher's perspective, I see many children in my program who were put in early and never are able to catch up. I don't mean that every child put into school early will not catch up, but I do see those children who already have learning disabilities at a disadvantage when they are much younger than their classmates. Besides, when your child is a bit older, he can really shine and not need to worry about being picked on as much. It is like giving them an extra step ahead. Can you put your child into a pre-K class for a year before Kindergarten? I have heard those classes are more challenging than preschool and may give your child some fun and learning activities. That is what I plan on doing with my son who was born at the beginning of September. Good luck to you!

There is a great book called Better late than early, it will really help you with this decision..

Hello,
Well first I have to have you ask yourself some questions.
1. How well does he do without you?
2. Does he want you to be around all the time?
Energenic is a good word for most boys. If he feels ready to start and the school will let him then go ahead but most boys are not really mature enough mentally to sit down and do the accidemics.
3. Is he smaller then most of his new classmates will he be able to keep up with the other kids that are older? This can be an issue for some kids that are almost 1 to 1 1/2 younger.
I know my son was one of the younger ones His 6th birthday is in April and he is smaller then his age group on top of that but mentally he was a little immature to let me go that early I wish I did hold him for one more year just for his mental stability. Accidemically he was able to keep up.

Ask yourself these questions and watch him. If you can leave him with other people without him throwing a fit.

Another year won't hurt to keep him home if that is what you decide. It is all for his emotional being not really yours because you will be able to keep up with them both even though he will be home another year if that is what you decide. Go and visit your local school and see what they think.

A little about me>>>> I am a stay home mom and I home school both boys. I know the sanity issues of having rough and tumble boys and what ever else they can muster up.

Good luck let me know what you decide...It is a hard decision I know....

A.

Melissa,
To challenge a cut off date like that usually requires him to be tested. They will be able to give you there opinion on his ability. I'd look into that.
We ended up enrolling our son early and repeating Kindergarten. He's doing just fine!
Jenn

My son was born (prematurely) on Sept 9. But I knew he was ready to go. Reading abilities and all that don't matter; what matters is his maturity level and behavior. His kindergarten teacher this year says he is a role model for the other students. I wish he behaved so well for me at home, but I'm happy that he is so good in school. He loves it, and I'm glad that I listened to my own intuition. It is half-day kindergarten, which has been a perfect transition. We told him when he started that just as Daddy's job is to go to work, his job is to go to school to learn and be good. He took that to heart. We also told him that if he didn't do well, they would kick him out - which was true; since he was a late birthday his starting was conditional on how he did the first month.

Also, for any kids, if you want them to do well in school and be able to pay attention and focus, turn off the TV. We don't even get reception, and we sure don't pay for cable or dish. For ever hour a kid watches tv a day, he is 10% more likely to have ADD. The average kid watches 6 hours a day, and we wonder why they are out of control in school.

All the naysayers told me I should "hold him back". I am glad no one held me or my husband back because of our August birthdays, and we were certainly always at the head of the class. Listen to your own intuition. Good luck!

WAIT!! So many reasons,Boys mature slower than girls. My oldest son missed the cut off date~October 12th, and I'm so very glad he did,I was looking forward to him being in school,more time to myself,more time to spend with my youngest but I wanted my son to be more of a leader than a follower kids can be ready academicly but if they are not ready emotionally than YOU will regret it later. It is far worse to hold him back after he has already started school than it is to hold him back an extra year..put him in pre-school for a year even if he has already gone, an extra year of pre-school never hurt anyone. Look at the statistics of boys starting early vs. later...BIG difference.Hope this helps.

I went to school early (November birthday) and have never regretted it. And I went without the benefit of preschool. There were some hard times. I was small and had very little socialization with my peers but I managed and more than caught up. I also think many of the difficulties I had were completely unrelated to my young age. Waiting a year, I still would have been small and I still would have had little socialization with my peers. Academically, that part was almost too easy.

I think it does work for some children (I will be pushing for my daughter to get early admission) but not everyone. Boys tend to mature more slowly than girls and I think if I had a boy, I would probably choose to wait.

My parents are teachers and my sister is also in education. Coming from a big family myself and my parents facing the same thing there just never seemed to be a question. My son was born in November. He is very smart and knows a bunch as well as other lanugues, counting, reading, spelling you name it. But well we held him back and he has been in pre-school. It isnt the education they know now it is being social in the class room too. No matter how many activites your little one does if you don't have to push them in to school then don't. Especially boys. From my parents years of education experience and from other friends it will all work out and be the best in the long run. Dont think of it as your son will be the tallest, the biggest, and knows what he needs to get in to kindergarden now. Think of him years from now. Good luck to you and your family.

Preschool maybe a good option. Because although your son is doing well with his letters and numbers there is a social part to kindergarden that he may not be ready for. I have a foster daught in kindergarden. She's six but her socail development is more of a four or five year old and she struggles. If you put him in too early they may have to retain him another year if he's not where he needs to be socailly. They are concidering retaining my foster daughter for those reasons. Perhaps preschool may be a good option. My neighbor has two twin boys that go here in Centralia and a bus comes every morning to pick them up and drops them off in the afternoon. It might be worth looking into.

I've been in your situation. My oldest son has an October birthday as well and I had that same decision to make (15 years ago). Here are some things to consider. Enter early if all the following apply: Academically intelligent, physically developed (can pass for a year older), able to sit still and concentrate for long periods of time, and socially mature for his age. My son fit all those conditions and we entered him early and he did great. My 2nd son has a late fall birthday. He is also intelligent, however has lots of energy and had trouble sitting still. We waited for him to enter kindergarten. He is now a Junior in high school, getting straight A's, and is doing great socially.

Studies show most boys aren't ready for sit down school work until 7 or 8. Boys mature physically later in life. If he is not high on the growth chart he has a good chance of being one of those LITTLE guys when entering high school. If your son can't sit still he will probably be LABELED early in life has having ADHD.

Check with you school district to see if they have testing for early entry into kindergarten. Mine did at the time and the test results helped me in making my decision.

Good luck on your decision.

PS I'd also like to hear about your ASL tutoring and what area you live in.

I think the emotional and social skills are important for Kindergardeners. I believe the Anchorage School District has a fee for early testing. I want to say it's around $400. I personally would wait. He will benefit so much more if you waited. Maybe put him in a couple of pre-school classes this fall with kids his age and see how he evolves. If the school determines he is gifted once he's in school, they can do testing for an advanced program, yet at the same time keep his education balanced with other children his age and maturity level.
I think that it's great that he has such an interest in books. Many children don't.
Best of luck in your decision.
D.

I'd recommend a cooperative preschool. My son attended the Marysville Cooperative Preschool for the last two years and he's going into Kindergarten in the fall. We had to commute a little bit to get to MCP, but I really like the co-op environment - it's more work than a "drop off" preschool (which I think is a politically correct way of describing a day care) but I can't tell you how much of an impact this has had on my son's social skills. And MCP's philosophy is learning through play - so he's learned a tremendous amount . . . but he thinks he's playing and having fun. Talk about a win win.

First of all, what your sister in law does with her kids has nothing to do with what you should do with yours. I don't know what you mean by detrimental, but I don't think waiting to start your kids in school until the time when they will start with everyone else their age is going to mess them up. Also, starting kindergarten has nothing to do with how smart your child is or how much they already know. It is more important to make sure they are emotionally ready for it. It doesn't sound like your child is ready given the description you wrote about his personality. I feel you can do damage to you son and really put him at a disadvantage by starting him too early. I know you would like your sanity back, but this has nothing to do with what is best for your son. I would wait and start him in Kindergarten when he is supposed to start.

I, too, was in the same predicament. Although, my struggle was not in the choice to put my son in Kindergarden, but getting him in. My son is also very smart. He did 2 years of preschool and was going to do another year till we moved to the Lake Tapps area. Well, I wanted him in Kindergarden and the school districts rule was that because his birthday was after August 31st, he needed to test in. I thought this is ridiculous, because Kindergarden isn't even required in some states, but I knew I wanted him in school so we had him take the test. He scored really high, but apparently not high enough to get into Kindergarden. Luckily his school has great Pre-K (Kindergarden curriculum) and Pre-1st (Kindergarden curriculum also) programs, so instead of him doing a 3rd year of preschool and then Kindergarden, he is doing 2 years of Kindergarden. My son doesn't seem to mind, though I can tell most of the stuff he is doing is too easy for him, but what can you do. So if you decide to put him in early be prepared that the school may not let that happen and try to be patient when he does go to Kindergarden and finds himself bored because he already knows how to do everything.

Wait!! My daughter (who is 11 now) has a September birthday. While she was then, and still is, on the top of her class academically, socially she was very shy. I chose to keep her home with me until she was 6. It is one parenting decisions that I do not regret or question at all. She loves being the "oldest" in her class, and she has completely outgrown her shyness. I think that if I would have pushed her to start early, she would still be quiet and shy and may never have grown out of that.
I think starting your son in sports is the perfect way to get him ready to start school when he is almost 6. He'll learn some of the skills he needs to be able to sit in circle time and not drive the teacher crazy!

I wouldn't start him early. My daughter was reading at 4 and pretty advanced, but I just don't see the advantage of starting kids early. Instead, I chose a challenging school for her and she can enjoy being at the top of her class instead of being the youngest. Plus, I don't want to lose her to college at 17 instead of 18. ;)

Well I had the same problem. I went through all the steps that went on to put him in pre. K cause where I am here NO MATTER WHAT they will NOT allow a 4 yr. old in school. After all the testing they told me he was to much ready for pre. K and it really wouldn't help him. I put him in a class for 1 hr. a day 2 days a week. Once the end of the year came they wanted to test him. Come to find out He should have went to Pre. K and He had ADHD. I was very upset of the situation but I ended up getting him tested he ended up having it and I now have him on a medication. It has helped him from the beginning of the school yr.once he got to school, from running around to the end of the yr. Sitting there reading books that he never would even look twice at.(AND IT ISNT CAUSE I AM DRUGING MY KID.)He has changed his ways and got into things that really didnt pay attention to to looking at things twice. I am kind of happy that I waited the extra yr. even though he went to school for a few hours 2 times a week.

My son is in the same situation with the October birthday. We started him in preschool this year, he is in the 3 year old class and the oldest. This is the age group he will be going to school with. I was very skeptical, he is much more advanced than most of the kids. But it is great for him to play and learn to listen to the teacher. We are sticking with another year of preschool next year. What is the harm in having a child who may be at the head of the class? My personal feeling is that I don't want to put him in early and have to hold him back a year. We have also heard that he may be bigger and faster than the other kids (sports advantage?).
Good luck in your decision.

They are putting the label of "ADD" or "ADHD" on too many kids. Let's face it. Kids are active. I don't believe your boy is ADHD just because he's active. Boys are typically more active than girls, and develop in their reading and academic skills later. I held my son back a year, and am glad I did, because he would have done a lot worse if I hadn't because HE was very active. However, his academic skills were not as good as your child's.

You kinda have to trust your own judgement. He may be academically ahead and more than ready. Or, he may be too active. Has he gone to preschool? It's shorter. Maybe that's another option. Or, if he went, you can judge from that.

By the way, about the brain leaving? Try taking either fish oil or DHA (which is a brain food - supplement) derived from fish oil. You can get this from any supplement/health food store. I have terrible thinking and memory problems if I don't take DHA or eat fish regularly.

I am the director of a local cooperative preschool. You do not mention if he is in a program right now, but since you mention other activities I assume he is. My strong advice is to give your child the 'gift' of another year of preschool. So much of Kindergarten revolves around the emotional and social aspects of development, not just academic/intellectual or physical development. (For example,Can he wait in line, can he work in a group, can he take care of his own needs, can he listen to a book being read without pushing his friends, etc. etc. etc.) In the long run it is detrimental to push him into school too early. He will be the youngest in the class and he might feel stress to conform. Or K. might work out okay, but moving through the grades might be more stressful as the expectations get higher. Kids need time to develop, tinker, think, play, and grow. What is the rush? Pushing them to conform has long term implications.

Dear Melissa, Most school districts have a birthday cut off date for kindergartener's, if he qualifies, I would register him! Sounds like you have done a great job of teaching him, and if he is able to handle all that he is not going to have any detramental effects. I was 4 when I started back in 1963 my birthday wasn't till Nov. but it didn't seem to have any effects on me! Each child should be judged individually so I would be careful how much stock I put into surveys! Good Luck, R.

Academically it sounds like he's ready, but socially he may not be there yet. In Kindergarten being emotionally ready for Kindergarten is just as important as being academically ready. Why not enroll him in a pre-K class instead? That way he'll get the academic exposure but can focus on the behavior aspect as well. It's great that he's so far along academically so that he can put his energy into following the routines of the classroom. Over time he'll build up stamina where he can sit and concentrate on things and won't be as spontaneous about doing his own thing. Of course a good classroom should encourage each child's independence but they should also teach children to sit and concentrate on small lessons.

Good luck!

One thing to consider besides is he ready now, is how middle school will be, as boys mature later anyway, so a young boy may be a bit behind socially from others in his class. My mom is a school principal and this is always the additional information she asks parents to consider. It's not just about academics. All the best to you and your boy!!