There has been a constant struggle on the playground with the jump rope(s). The problem is primarily with one girl who gives the other kids the impression that she is “in charge” of the jump rope. Here are some of the things she says to kids outside her group of friends:
“if you dont want to follow my rules, then go buy your own jumprope!”
“I don't think you can play with us”
“we brought this jumprope from home so you can't play” (apparently the jumprope belongs to the school)
Another girl whispered to the "charge girl",“When they come over, play helicopter so it hits them hard”(this is when the rope is swung around in a circle so kids jump over it – this was a banned activity at one time)
This was observed once by a playground supervisor who did speak with the girl when she said “I don't think you can play with us”, but I know that they have quite a few kids to watch and the problem seems to continue. I've been trying to encourage my daughter to try to work it out or do something else at recess, but there are number of kids besides her who would like to play but are afraid of the constant struggle. When other kids do jump in and play, there's always an altercation.
In some ways I think this is basic work it out kid stuff, in other ways I'm totally fed up with this bully in the making. What would you do? The girls are 10-11 and one set of girls are from one class (GT) and the other girls are from the other classes. They all have recess after lunch together.
I would report it, get my child her own jump rope, and get to the root of why she wants to play with mean girls
I would buy my daughter a jump rope of her own to take to school. Of course, check first with the teacher to make sure that is okay, but in my experience with my two boys in elementary school it has been ok.
"Hey, Mrs. Smith. Recently there have been a lot of issues on the playground with jumpropes. Either there is not enough or someone is "the boss" of them. I am hoping that I can just buy a couple more to donate to the school playground so that all the girls have enough ropes to play with!"
Then, teach your daughter to grab her friends and go off and play jumprope without the queen bee.
L.
Buy your daughter a jump rope, you can get them at the dollar store, problem solved.
Empower your daughter. Have her bring her own jump rope, find the excluded children and play with them.
No, you don't report it to the school, but you equip your child to ignore this girl.
When I started reading the post, I pictured this being kindergarten, so I was surprised to see the ages of the girls involved. If this girl is like this with the jump rope, she's probably would be like this with any other piece of play equipment, and she's probably, ahem, challenging in class too. I really would expect girls of 10 and 11 to just blow this girl off and walk away if she acts like this and I'm surprised they haven't done so already.
I know others are saying to get your child her own jump rope but I don't see that happening. She brings it to school and (1) alpha girl confiscates it, or (2) the classroom teacher maybe said OK but another teacher on the playground says no and takes it and your child is upset and embarrassed, or (3) so many other jump-starved kids beg your child to play with it that she doesn't get a chance or...she ends up having to unwillingly be the kid who chooses who plays with it, and then other kids will say SHE's being unfair and it will just spiral on. Better for Sally to learn to behave and share (truly kindergarten stuff!) than for others to have to bring their own playground equipment.
Yes, kids need to work it out. It would be greatly preferable if your child could lead the revolt and get other kids to do other things and ignore Sally. As long as other kids are asking Sally Boss Girl to play, she is getting attention which is exactly what she wants.. They need to withdraw that attention by shrugging and saying, "OK, enjoy the rope. We're out of here." And then not even glancing back at her. And not asking for the rope the next day or the next -- there's plenty else to play. But that's a hard recipe for a kid to follow, especially since Sally has made this a power play she gets to win every day.
I'd tell my child to take the initiative to talk to the teacher about it if it worries her. She's old enough to think out what she wants to say. If she fears she's "tattling" on Sally, explain to her that she (your daughter) has a right to use the equipment that is there for everyone, and she has the right to speak up when another student is affecting the whole class's recess like this.
I think it's possible that the teacher should just say no more jump rope for a while, period, because Sally has not been playing appropriately so the result is that no one gets to use it. Not her, not anyone else. Oh, no, how unfair! But that's what works with things like this. One kid is a jerk and everyone loses out. The idea is that the other kids will let her know that she lost ALL of them a privilege. But then you'd better hope that Sally doesn't decide all the balls are hers, or the swings are her private domain.
By the way -- not sure why it was necessary to mention that one set of girls is from a GT class and others are not? Implication that the GT kids act differently here? Is Sally Boss Girl in GT? I can tell you, this behavior is not related to what type of class she's in, GT or not; it's related to the fact she's not disciplined at home and is getting away with it at school too. That crosses all educational lines....
I'd tell your kiddo to ask a teacher if she can play with the jump rope. This way she can take her turn with the assistance of the teacher in charge.
If that doesn't work ask her teacher, during teacher conferences, if kiddo can bring their own jump rope to play with. If all the kids did that no one would be trying to take that one girls rope from her.
They are in 5th grade??????????
There is only ONE jump rope????????
ETA: at my kids' school, the jump ropes, are the school's. Kids do not bring their own, jump rope to school. It is not allowed.
At recess, recess things/balls/jump ropes, are the school's. And the kids have it to use during recesses. And there are an adequate amount.
From this scenario you describe, it seems like there is only one jump rope, since the Bully girl is controlling it. Because if there were more than one jump rope then the bully girl would not be acting like a Mafia boss about it.
So in addition to the Bully-Girl, the other problem is that there is only one jump rope.
Why not play other things?
And why can't ALL the girls who get bossed... march OVER to the Play Ground Supervisor(s) and TELL them what is happening and that it is happening EVER SINGLE DAY.
I mean, they are in 5th grade, and by now, they should GO TO the Play Ground Supervisors to report.... any bullying and hogging of the recess equipment.
Since the Play Ground Supervisor seems to have NO knowledge of what is going on... the KIDS NEED TO ALL GO UP TO THE PLAYGROUND SUPERVISOR AND TELL THEM. As a group. The group that is being picked on.
I work at an Elementary school. Even the 1st graders WILL all go up to a school staff to "report" any inappropriate or bully behavior. If a 1st grader can, then a 10-11 year old bunch of girls who are being bullied about the jump rope... can do that too. And REPORT the Bully.
At schools, recesses are typically by grades.
So yes, ALL the kids in that grade, have recess together.
No matter if they are from a GT class or other regular classes.
This is not a Bully in the making. She IS a Bully... and so are her friends who hog the jump rope and make those snide comments.
The kids, that are being "bullied" and denied use of the jump rope by the Bully, just ALL have to go TO the Playground Supervisor, and TELL him or her.
Don't just stand there and wait around for them to see you/it happening. And, since it is happening to a group of girls, THEN THERE ARE WITNESSES to the girl's Bullying.
The girls who are being bullied, need to be proactive too. And REPORT it.
She should take it to the supervisor, not you.
Okay, I GET that this is a way for your daughter to learn to deal with pushy, mean girls who think they rule the roost. There are plenty of these girls who grow up to be women who act like this too.
BUT, your daughter isn't the only one who is going through this. The rest of the playground is being terrorized by this girl and her posse. How are you going to feel if she does "helicopter" with the rope and injures a child's eye or breaks their nose?
Go talk to the school and ask for the rope to be confiscated and the girl and her friends have a strict talking to about bossing other kids around. I promise you that the girl will continue to be mean to kids, just without the jumprope. But at least a child won't get hurt and the girls will be on the school's radar for this kind of behavior.
Take an extra special jump rope to the school and tell the teacher that this jump rope is to be shared by everyone at the school since -------- has one that no one else can use. That way, you are tattling in a passive agrees ice way, and your child gets to have a jump rope.
bullys only have power if you give it to them, so by choosing to stay and be involved in this drama your dd is playing into it.
instead of brining a jumprope maybe you can ask permission for your dd to bring something cooler like a skip it or stomp rocket or hula hoops.
I"m struggling trying to answer this bc when I was a kid, several girls brought their own jump rope and picked the friends they wanted to play dubble dutch. There was no need to bully or tell people they can't play because most of them had their own rope or had friends who had their own ropes.
In the case of this mean girl, I wouldn't want to see anyone get hurt so the helicopter game should be stopped instantly. But is there a reason why your daughter and some of the other girls can't bring their own rope??? IJS......
At that age I'm surprised many of the kids actually want to jump rope.
Your daughter needs to handle this herself, this is nothing compared to what's coming up in middle school. Talk to her about different options she has. Ideas are peaking with a playground supervisor, finding something else to do, bringing her own jump rope or my personal favorite, telling this girl that she is NOT the jump rope boss and taking over the rope for a while.
I can't believe other posters are calling this a bullying situation. While she may be a "bully in the making" what you describe is NOT bullying. This type of stuff will continue to happen as long a other kids don't call the mean, control freak on her behavior.
Do you tell her to "work it out" or do you give her some tools to use? Or do you ask her what she would like to do about it and walk her through a solution? I don't think that at her age you should get directly involved, unless you actually witness it. If she can tell you about it, she can also tell the adult(s) in charge at school. If standing up to this girl and her friends is not the thing to do here, then she should speak with an adult who can address it. You should encourage that and follow up.
This is an occurence on EVERY playground at recess. If it isn't jumpropes, its the ball in the four square game, or the swings, or the basketball. There is ALWAYS someone who bosses other kids around. It is part of the process of growing up. I wouldn't categorize it as terrorizing the playground. The only reason this continues is because the kids and adults(knowingly or not) allow it. The girls who stand there with their sad faces or who continue to beg to play with the jumprope are giving this girl and her cohorts the satisfaction they want. I would tell my daughter to go find something else to do and act like she isn't bothered by them. Or I would send a jumprope with her. If they are playing helicopter someone needs to inform the principal and express concern for the safety of the kids.
Most importantly, I would explain how bullying works, why it happens and strategies for dealing with it. Role playing is a great way to teach kids how to handle the mean kids. The kids who never learn how to deal with bullies are the ones who end up being a target and sometimes end up hurting themselves or others. This bullying situation is so minor compared to what older kids deal with. It is CRUCIAL to teach your daughter how to handle this.
I would not report it to the school. I think at 10 and 11 kids should work out the problems with something "trivial" like a jump rope. Now, if it were something more serious than that, you should get involved. I think that your daughter and her friends should just play together with something else or make up their own game. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that.
When issues like this arise on the playground at our school the children are expected first try to work it out, then to take it to the playground supervisor. Solutions may be for the school to provide more skipping ropes, for the playground supervisors to devise a schedule for the jump rope use, or for the students to draw up jump rope rules together. If it is such a regular problem then more skipping ropes would be an easy fix. We have in the past scheduled certain days for certain classes to use the swings. Our kids used to fight about tag every recess until the guidance counsellor had the kids sit down and work together to decide what the rules of the tag game should be. The rules were then written down and everyone who wanted to play tag had to follow them. To answer your question, no, you should not report it to the school, but your daughter should.
