Do Toddlers Know That Baby Is Coming?

Congrats! You and I are so much alike - I had a baby last Thanksgiving and had a 22 month old son at the time as well!

I don't think 22 month olds know that a baby is coming, I think she may be picking up on some upcoming change though.

She'll be OK, I know it is hard to deal with the terrible twos, but my advice would be to cherish every moment you can of the single-child life, because once new little baby is there, you'll never have the same one-on-one time again. Here is the thing though, adding the sibling just makes life better - but it is different for all of you.

Ohhh, such a fun time ahead for you - enjoy every moment of it!

Yes, they know. My daughter is very perceptive like that. BUT she knew we were having a baby.
Since your baby is coming home in 3 weeks... I would really work on your first born... and helping her to adjust to it all.
AND she is also 2 years old, this is a hard age in itself. Your daughter will have TONS to adjust to, once the baby comes home. She will need even more comforting and understanding. She has many different things going on at the same time.

At this age, they also can get clingier, and more demanding..although don't just "punish" for it... some kids take a while to adjust to SUDDENLY becoming a "sibling" and having a "baby" all of a sudden in their life and home and with the crying and Mommy being busy. It's kind of a "shock" for them sometimes.

A child, when stressed, will "regress" in various ways. So look out for this, and they will need help "coping" with all the changes. ALSO, they don't automatically "know how" to be a "sibling".... bear in mind that this is also a new "role" for them... and they have to grow into it, and be able to have times of digressing too. Their moods will also fluctuate...sometimes they may not even "like" the baby or they will totally love the baby. It's all normal. Just coax, comfort, offer understanding etc. AND, (what I learned), is do NOT expect "perfection" in your eldest child.... or they will feel "pressured" and sometimes resentment about it all.

I would DEFINITELY work on your eldest child right now.... BEFORE the baby comes home. Having a baby is ALSO all about "prepping" the eldest child for the baby... they are also "having a baby" too, not just the Mommy.

Yes, a pregnant Mom can throw them for a loop. They need to feel secure. The "unknown" of it all, disrupts them and can cause anxiety.

It's best if they know more about it, than not at all. When I had my 2nd baby, we also made it a "celebration" for my eldest child... and got her some "welcome home baby" gifts too, so she felt included and "close" to her new brother.

Remember though, 2 & 3 years old is a hard age... for the child. Then, for the Parents. They are changing so much inside developmentally... and they are not always "ready" for all the changes or "expectations" we put on them, or in their life.

It'll be okay...
take care,
Susan

Oh yeah....they know. I conceived when my daughter was 25 months old and I wasn't even sure if I was pregnant, so my husband and I were "talking in code" about the possibility, not really willing to believe it ourselves. My little girl approached me and said "mommy, are we going to have another baby soon?" I said I didn't know, but then she started role playing with her dolls about how to care for a baby, and she actually did a pretty good job (where did she learn that stuff??) But, yes, they all react in their own ways.

Try to have your "big sister" take some ownership of "her baby" and give her some jobs, like whenever the baby cries, she can sing him the ABC song or something like that. Encourage her to be involved and hopefully, that will cut down on jealousy. You can read to your daughter while breastfeeding if she turns the pages so that you can be interacting with both kids at the same time.

Congratulations on your family!

Hi T.,
Yes, little ones can sense a lot! Not only that, they are very bright at that age, they just can't express things the way you and I do. She can understand your conversations and I am certain she sees a new baby room that is not for her getting put together.

And yes, many phases of daddy's girl to mommy's girl. They change all the time just like we adults do. Further, many phases period.

Congratulations on your new one and your little girl will get through this just fine.

Best of luck!

C.

Ooooooooooh, YES ! And sometimes, the little toddler may know BEFORE you do. There's a superstition (that's usually true), a toddler standing up bends down and looks between his or her legs is a sign that whom ever he or she is facing is "expecting". Sounds funny, but our family "believes in it" ;-)

Hi T., First of all congradulations on your new baby boy, how exciting I know this is for you. I would say Olivia senses something, if you have not talked to her about her new baby brother, as an old school mom, I really have never believed in the terrible two syndrom. If you have not talked to her, do it, I'm not sure how much she will understand, but she will feel apart of this blessing, when the baby is active let her lay her head on your stomach and feel the baby moving around, I'm sure by now you hav his nursery or sleep area already fixed up, let her help you choose like what blanket to put in the crib, or what stuffed to put in the crib, let her be a part of your decisions, it makes such a big difference in a child adjusting to a new sibbling, after the baby is born let her help you pick out his outfit, let her help you when you give him a bath, it will be a lot of work, she's going to be so busy being mommy's helper that she isn't going to have time for her litttle tatrums. I don't believe children should be allowed to throw tatrums, but in her case right now don't get sngry with her, don't give in to her either but try and find a common ground with her, and I do believe if her change in behavior is due to the up coming blessing, envolving her will create some possitive changes, and remember to reward those changes, and praise her for good behvaior. When I was pregnant with my second child, I had a toddler, I envolved him in everything, I even took him to my doctor appointments so he could hear the baby's heart beat, when my second so son was born, my first born was 3 and 4 months old and he wanted to do everthing for his little brother, there was bo jealousey at all, but when I became pregnant with my 3 child, my first born was 5 and my second born was 2 and 3 months, I let both my sons help pick out wall paper, stuffed animals, and then when I was 5 months pregnant we found out the baby was a girl, so when my husband and i shared that with our boys, it did not go over to well, our 5 year old kept telling our 2 year, mommy is going to love the girl more than us, and when you are 2 you believe everything your big brother tells you, daily I did my best to reasure my boys that my love for them would not change when their sister came, I was amazed because I was putting the crib up in mine and my husbands room, which was the smller room in our apt at the time, we have givien the boys the mater bedroom with the bathroom and shower, we felt they needed more room than we did any way, my boys came in and my 5 year old ask me why i was putting the crib in our room instead of their room, I told him because she was going to wake up crying at night and I didn't want her to wake them up, he was like that's OK mommy,we want our sister in our room, so we put the crib in their room, when she was 2 weeks old we moved into Navy housing, and of course we fixed up a room for her, and I let the boys pick out decor for her room, I let them pick out her daily outfits, I just envolved them in as much as I could, and now they are 25, almost 22, and 19 and my boys are the best of friends, and my daughter and her brothers are so very close. Sorry I went on and on, I thought you might enjoy that story. Good luck and happy blessings, to your family. J. L.

Not sure why on earth you are potty training a 22 month old in the first place, but of course she understands that things are changing! Certainly you must have talked to her about the coming baby, read her books about it, etc. I'm guessing you are responsible for a large part of the changes in her behavior. You seem to be rushing her to grow up because a new baby is coming. She is still a baby herself. You will soon have two babies. Accept that fact, stop the insanely early potty training attempts, and give your daughter the attention she needs and deserves. Connect with her now as much as possible and continue it after the new baby arrives.

Yes, they certainly sense something is going on and they are not sure if they are going to like it. (It could be a combination of the two, but she definitely knows something is different) What we did to make the transition smoother was we bought our daughter a gift and gave it to her on the car ride home from the hospital. We told her it was from her baby brother and that he loved her so much and wanted to thank her for sharing her mommy and daddy with him. My daughter was thrilled to get a gift from her brother and decided she liked him instantly. The first week was an adjustment period as my daughter got used to seeing me nurse and losing some of her attention. She acted out a little bit. After that first week, it seemed like we had always been a family of four and everything fit into place. I have always included my daughter where I could such as can you hold this diaper or wipes for mommy and then I make a big deal about how she's such a good helper and I couldn't do it without her. She has become very protective of her baby brother and loves to be around him. Definitely talk to your daughter and tell her what is going on and reassure her that she is loved. Good luck with your little blessings and I hope you have a nice smooth transition with your son!!!

They certainly know that something different is going on :) It's good to prepare her ahead of time so she doesn't feel blindsided by the addition to the family.

I encourage my clients who have toddlers to make a game of making the types of sounds that a woman in active labor might make. Second babies can come quickly and childcare plans don't always work out! If you 'play' the birthing noises game with her (moaning, mooing, oohing and aahing), she won't be terrified if she wakes in the night to the sounds of a baby that's coming fast!

When my 2nd granddaughter was born, her other grandmother was going to pick up my daughter's then 7 year old so I could be my daughter's doula at the birth. My daughter had an hour and 44 minutes of labor from the 1st contraction! By the time we arrived at the hospital, she was pushing and her 7 year old was there for the birth! We were very glad that we had prepared her for the sounds of pushing, especially since my daughter is a noisy pusher :)

When my daughter was pregnant with my grandson we went to http://www.wearyourbaby.org/ to learn how to make an inexpensive sling for the baby. The fabric we got was wide enough to make 2 full size slings and a smaller strip which became a sling for the 2-year-old to wear her baby (doll) and it matched her mother's and mine :) She was very excited about having a new baby in the house!

Happy Birthing :)

I think it is a combination of both. It is not uncommon, however, for a toddler to regress to babyhood when a sibling is born. For instance, she may want a bottle again, she may get really clingy, she may start crawling again when the baby crawls, etc. If she's potty trained, she may want to start wearing diapers again. It's normal and difficult not to give into the temptation to give them a bottle to "ease" their complaining, but I wouldn't do it. You don't want to backtrack with the older sibling if you can help it. This is the age where they start to say, "No!" a lot and gain some independence. I'm due in 7 weeks and get frustrated a lot because my 25-month-old son won't stay still for a diaper change, he is refusing to pick up toys that he use to help with before, he even all the sudden wanted to breastfeed and he hasn't done that for years! I think he could smell a change in my skin and it must have reminded him of when he use to feed. My dog even knows that the baby is coming. He follows me around everywhere I go and sits on my feet when I sit down.

Many others have said it, but yes, I believe toddlers know. My son did similar things when he was 22 months and I was almost due. I recommend getting some books talking about this transitional time. We liked "Baby on the Way" by Dr. Sears. (see www.askdrsears.com) And keep it positive. Though it will be tough in some ways for them, older siblings have much to benefit and learn from a new baby. So approach it from that perspective for them. They may not understand everything, but I think they get it more than we realize, and they definitely pick up on our moods and feelings, so show him love and stay calm as much as possible.
~N.

They know something is going to happen. They may not understand exactly what but they know. My kids did they same thing and always around the time or a little before I delivered(I have 4). Be patient with your daughter. Having a new baby around is a big change. To make it easier on my children, we made sure that they each got to hold the new baby and get their picture taken. This is what my parents did(I am the oldest of 9)and it worked out nicely because we all felt a part of the change instead of replaced. You may have done this already but also let her feel the baby when it moves. My kids always liked this too.

NEVER FORGET that your child is smarter than you think. You can't hide things from them.

My twins were 25 months when my littlest one was born. I read all the books to prepare me for the adjustment. Yes, there was an adjustment period. My twins liked the new baby but had a really hard time adjusting. There's a reason why they call it the terrible twos. If you add a newborn to that mix you've got chaos. Just remember to be easy on yourself. You cannot be Supermom. Also, hopefully you have some friends with small children you can cry or laugh with. My fellow mommy friends are what go me through this last year. (Yes, I just went through it. My baby will be one on Monday). Lastly, follow the advice of the books. Don't make any big changes. The potty training can wait, a big girl bed can wait.... My boys just turned three and are starting the potty training process and they are still in cribs(although, we are even later on this because they're twins and boys) I made it and it does get better. I promise!