We are invited to a wedding that is being held at home. Would you give less of a gift, since it is not a "formal" reception? Conversely, if someone has a wedding at a very expensive place, do you give more to cover your plate?
I've always tried to give as much as I could...factoring in the amount of a plate and how close we are to the couple. If the venue is not as expensive as my lowest gift amount, then they get the minimum...usually $75. Most close family and friends get $150+, depending on the financil situation at the time.
Give enough money to cover your plate? That's ridiculous. A couple getting married shouldn't expect their guests to pay for a reception that they cannot afford themselves.
We only give what we can afford. Venue doesn't matter. I would give more to a relative or close friend than an acquaintance.
We try to give at least $100. Especially if the couple is just starting out and are planning to put it into a "buy a home" account. It shouldn't matter what the setting of the wedding is or food cost, it should be what you can afford... a monitary gift to get the new couple started. Have fun!
I agree with maybe giving more to close family than someone else, but it should not depend on the venue. We give what we can, whether it covers our plates or not. And hopefully couples are not expecting everyone to cover their plate. That is not the purpose of a wedding.
K., Because of the economy alot of people are doing things differently. 9 years ago my husband and I went to the JP and got married and had the reception at his grandparents house because they had this big "field" of a yard. Just because they choose to marry at home I dont believe a gift should be "less" expensive then if they have it at a fancy place. Good Luck.
I think it depends partly on how close you are to the couple. Weddings are getting out of hand these days, what I used to give is now hardly enough to cover one plate. When I got married 26 years ago people gave enough money to cover their plate and then you might of even had a little extra. Now couples don't even make enough to cover the dinners as everything is so expensive. I would say give what you can and what you would expect others to give your children in the same situation.
I went to a less formal wedding recently and I am not very close with the bride and groom so I gave less than I normally do. I definitely take the type of wedding (non-formal vs formal reception) into consideration. Plus times are hard now.
I have a standard gift amount. I would not give more for a more expensive wedding. I would consider giving less though for a less formal wedding. That would depend on my opinion on the reason for the "budget" wedding.
I like when people don't waste a ton of money on a wedding. But, at the same time, I hate when people are just plain cheap.
Hi K.,
Congratulations on being invited to a wedding. I would consider how much you can afford to give to the couple getting married...(you may get invited to other weddings, birthday parties and so on) and also consider as you got married, how things happened, and a long time from now in the future you will be helping to celebrate when your son and daughter get married...what would you want for your son or daughter??
My wedding was outdoors in a garden where we went to school and I still treasure the simple gifts that we received. I don't personally believe that where the wedding is held should dictate the gift but rather it is what you and your spouse provide to the new couple...I personally treasure a cookbook we received with a message of love and encouragement as we were starting our new household (from another student).
C. L
mother of three, yoga teacher
I give my standard gift amount to those weddings that I am invited to where I am not as close to the couple; more to a family member or close friend who is closer to my family. Venue doesn't matter. I would not GIVE more because the bride and groom chose a venue that was more expensive - it would still depend on the closeness of the couple to me. I have now been to two very lovely "home" weddings for cousins and the weddings were both elegant and probably cost them a good amount of money (and time!!!) coordinating. Enjoy the event!
Cover the cost of your plate plus a gift is the normal gift amount in my family. I know these things vary from all different neighborhoods, families, cultures etc., but the bottom line is to give what you feel comfortable giving.
