JFF ... Bride(s)zilla Alert! Bride(s)zilla Alert!

Lol! Yep. Some people think they're doing their guests a "favor" by inviting them. And the sense of entitlement doesn't always end there...

I've never heard such a thing and I just had my wedding in May.

I would never tell my guests the cost per guest. It's not their business!

I have heard this & I just don't get it...how are the guests supposed to know how much was paid for the wedding and/or food? Are the bride & groom just going around blasting the price to everyone??

Tacky! Tacky! Tacky!

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I just read the first link you posted, did the bride really tell people that the point of having a wedding is to get money for their future & that everyone knows that 'envelopes are expected' not gifts? OMG! I do t get some people!! The nerve and sheer entitled-ness of some people is astounding to me! Since when do people think this way? I thought the point of a wedding was to share your love and commitment to your spouse with your close friends & family? Not to get as much cash for your future as possible!! I know that some Greek weddings have a tradition of having a money dance but that's all I know & totally thought weddings were about sharing your LOVE with the world.... Not an excuse to brazenly ask for cash! Gross!

I thought the purpose of having a wedding and inviting people was to share your joy in a wonderful day.... to invite people to celebrate with you.

Wow... I guess I'm cheap! We went to a wedding last summer, and yes, a dinner was provided...... I'm sure we didn't spend near as much on our gift, and it was an old family friend.... but we all had a wonderful time, and I KNOW they weren't the kind to "expect" a certain amount spent on a gift... we got several items from their gift registry.....

I had never heard of anything so ridiculous until I saw it on here. I spend what I can afford on a gift; not what I think they've spent on me for a plate of food. I can't control what type of wedding/reception they're having and what they spend; I can, however, control what I spend while staying within my budget!

If I'm invited to a wedding, it's because they want me to share in their beautiful event because I'm a very close friend or a family member - not because of what I'll spend on a gift.

In my opinion, it's sad if the gift expectations are the only reason for an invitation!

Just my thoughts!!

p.s. I saw the picture of the basket with all the goodies - looks just like what my sisters always put together for my birthdays and Christmas - I would have loved it and wouldn't have cared if someone spent $5 or $50! But then, my parents taught me to be grateful for anything someone gives me.

Throwing a party or wedding and expecting the GUESTS to pay for it, is so beyond tacky and rude. When I am invited to a wedding and the registry is all incredibly expensive stuff, or they request cash gifts to pay for their own honeymoon...I don't give a gift at all. I don't appreciate being used for cash grabs. Whatever happened to accepting gifts cheerfully? I got some...strange...gifts at my wedding. Even still, I was thankful someone cared enough to get us anything. Not only to share in our celebration, but to bring gifts. People are idiots. Selfish, tacky, entitled idiots.

ETA: and yah, what next with people like this: they are going to expect EVERYONE who attended their wedding and ate the wedding food... to THEN pay for their divorce, later?
Yah, right.

Oh and sure, the couple will keep a running list, of the "balance" of how much a person still owes them, in case the wedding guest did not pay "full price" for their wedding food with their "gift" for their wedding, then... later when they are divorced, they will ask the guests to divvy up their remaining balance, for how much they still owe the darn couple.... for their wedding food/gift cost difference.
Brilliant!

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So then, if people like this are like this before actually getting married, can you imagine how they are as a whole?
I mean, that is just greedy.
And besides, so some parents pay for the wedding, some don't or some ADULT couples pay for their own wedding.
So per gifts, should the one who pays for it, get all the gifts... if the gifts they get are supposed to equal what the newlyweds spent on each wedding plate of food? So, then, if a newlywed couple thinks that gifts are supposed to equal the $ amount for each plate of food... can you just see some numbskull Newlyweds... purposefully ordering from an expensive food caterer? Just so that... they can get expensive wedding gifts that equal their plate of food? Totally idiocy.
Total, idiocy.
Idiotic.
Idiots.
Oh and so are these types of newlywed couples, going to THEN actually PUT on their wedding announcements... the cost for each wedding plate of food... so that their guests KNOW that too, and so therefore they are being told how much to spend on their gifts? Might as well, have each guest pay for their own, plate of food at the wedding. That is, IF the guests even go to a wedding like this for numbskull Newlyweds.

It made me think of the many baby gift baskets I've given to new mommies for their baby showers. Babies R Us turns me into an absolute sap for buying baby stuff - I love all the beautiful newborn and small baby things. And I'm a pretty practical person, so I buy what I think mommy will need. Rather than pick one expensive thing, I pick out a lot of small things that I think she might really need and appreciate.

It's NOT cheap either. I can pick out $100 worth of stuff without even realizing it if I'm not really careful. Then I have to decide what I have to put back on the shelf, sniff-sniff! Of course, the closer the friend or if it's a family member, the more I spend. If it's an acquaintance, I'm not about to drop a bundle on a baby present. To be honest, I cannot fathom a mom telling me that my gift wasn't good enough for her shower, no matter WHAT she spent on the shower.

To be honest, the same thing applies to a wedding in my mind. If I'm invited to a wedding, what I spend on the gift has to do with how close I am to the couple. I don't give money. I do look at their registry and if what I want to spend is there, I try to purchase that. If their registry is a lot more than I am willing to spend, then I go shopping. I've never bought the grouping of food that this fellow did, but unless he went to dollar store, he spent more than the $30 bridezillas assert that he spent on it. When I buy specialty food, it always runs high, without a basket. And quite frankly, the "Fluff" and candy were cute to add.

The women were beotches. So what if one is gluten intolerant? She doesn't cook for guests once in a while? She can't feed THEM specialty pasta? These women were tremendously ungracious.

As far as giving enough money for them to pay for their wedding, I wonder if they would enjoy putting together wedding plans for one that only a few people come to? How are guests supposed to guess how much money is going to be spent on them? If guests are supposed to foot the bill, perhaps they should wonder why they don't get a choice as to how much the affair costs. The bride gets to say "I want all this big party for me, I'll pick the venue and the menu and the decor and my guests have to pony up." Really?

No. Only a self-centered bridezilla really believes this.

If I caught wind that a bride whose wedding I was invited to felt this way, I'd send regrets. Maybe so many people would send regrets that she'd wish that she had friends who would come help her celebrate her nuptuals.

Btw, Lee Lee, I did RECEIVE a gift kind of like this for my wedding. It was a picnic basket with a gingham plastic lining (I loved that, actually. If stuff spilled, I could wipe it clean.) In it were various crackers, a block of cheese from the grocery store, a jar of popcorn and an inexpensive bottle of wine. I thought the gift was lovely when I got married 31 years ago. I STILL think it was a lovely gift. So was the silver set I got. Do I care that one was inexpensive and one was expensive? NO. The full church where people were packed in the pews meant more to me than my gifts.

Lee!

Oh my word! No. I don't spend what I "THINK" the couple spent on the reception...I spent what I could afford.

Thank God I have NEVER been to a wedding where the couple were like that!!

Glad I don't know these two ungratefuls. I have a heavily restricted diet and would never ask a gift-giver for a receipt, nor would I do a mental tally of the 'value' of a gift. Most especially a comparison of "I spent this much..."

One invites guests to a wedding because they are wanting their dear friends and family to share in a very meaningful and special moment in their lives. Sounds like these "ladies" (because a real 'lady' would never act this way) missed the meaning of it all. How sad. And I just read the texts... good lord, I am so glad the world has people like "Laura" to make the rest of us look like saints! Going to go polish my halo right now!

ETA: Ha! "they are going to expect EVERYONE who attended their wedding and ate the wedding food... to THEN pay for their divorce, later?" Priceless, SH! Priceless!

I do think it has got to the point that maybe they need to get to the point on the invitation....

Reception to follow, 100 dollar a plate, please include a check with the RSVP card, we are registered at Macys.

See how easy that is? :p
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I just want to add since I will be celebrating my second anniversary in a little over a week. We threw a party, a celebration. I made it clear to everyone we wanted them there, to celebrate. please no gifts. Yeah, that didn't work, believe or not, everyone gave a 100 bucks. Thanks for the cool camera guys! :)

My favorite gift, which was strangely along with a hundred bucks, was a blade for my circular saw. I love it for two reasons, it was given by one of Troy's friends who was on a job with him where he had to borrow that blade because the blade I have wasn't the right one for the surface. The second reason was it was my saw and he didn't know it. :)

In general everyone has cash, not everyone has enough love of the couple to take a few extra minutes to find the perfect gift.

Marshmallow fluff would have been perfect too. Troy loves it and I love watching him act like a child spreading it on crackers with peanut butter!

Who the heck did these people survey? That's a boat load of money! $75 to $100 on a coworkers wedding?

It's kind of like that magazine, Real Simple, Lol! I look at it just to laugh at its idea of real simple! Real Expensive! What world are they living in? DC?

Weddings for my son's friends have been endearingly simple, creatively original and very touching. Those are the 20 somethings. It's a reaction to over done bridzilla's nightmares.

Dang! We spend what we can afford. End of story. If we know the couple well enough and know of something special then we get that, otherwise we put some cash in an envelope (mostly because we're lazy LOL).
I read where that wedding site recommends you spend $75-$100 on co-workers and $125 for close friends and relatives.
I must be cheap! I've never spent that much! Heck, when we got married almost 18 years ago that's not what a lot of our guest spent on us. Only a few super close family that also have a little more money.
For our wedding we never made a registry. My husband and I had our apartment 8 months before the wedding so we had bought or were given the basics. What we needed was some of the bigger things, like furniture other than the random hand me downs we were able to scrounge up. We got some fantastic personalized gifts, a helpful amount of cash and some really useful gifts (we still use the knife set someone gave us).
I just can't get this mentality. What a way to ruin a friendship!

Maybe I'm just too simple, but I thought it was a really creative gift! I would have been delighted to receive this!

The brides were beyond rude. I have no words to describe how beyond rude they were!

To InMy30sAlready?!- I sent you a flower before you posted your ETA. I'd like to send you another one for the additional comments! So true!!

This is horrifying. I think that the gift was actually pretty thoughtful. That being said, how the hell is someone supposed to know how much the couple paid per plate at the wedding?

I think that we have all gotten gifts that we wonder what the hell the giver was thinking. However, I always write a tactful and grateful thank you note.

This couple was over the top rude.

I'm with YOU....Just WOW. One of my FAVE gifts as a newly married person was a small laundry basket filled with those lil necessities that you need in your pantry that as a newly minted wife/homemaker you don't always know you need. It was definitely NOT the fanciest present, but I remember it (and its usefullness) to this day.

I would really like to slap the sh*t out of those two idiots. Karma is gonna run em down though!

I am always amazed at how many people mistake wedding invitations for invoices.

A wedding is a celebration of the marriage that just took place. The attendees are GUESTS and are to be treated as such. That means the host(s), whomever they may be, throw the party they can afford, and do not expect or demand to be reimbursed for expenses by the guests, either in cash or in the value of gifts.

If you can't afford a $100/plate reception, you don't have one. You don't get to invite people to your party then shake them down to cover the costs, as the brides in the story tried to do.

I can't believe how selfish and entitled some people are.

I have traditionally never spent less than $100 on a wedding gift for any wedding that I have attended. The most I have spent is $250 for very close family like my brother and my cousin who was my Maid of Honor in my own wedding. I have never heard of the "spend the amount of money that the bride and groom spent per plate of food." Hell....I wish! I look at the newlyweds like I once looked at myself when I was young, in love, and a bride....they are usually close to broke, in desperate need of some stuff to start out life together, and also hoping to get some cash to spend on a great honeymoon which will hopefully be remembered for life! So, I don't cheap out when it comes to wedding gifts for the happy couple. if I myself are in a bind and can't afford to give a gift, then I can't afford to go to the wedding either. Problem solved. If you don't go, you are not required by etiquette to have a gift.
As for the articles in the links above, I am totally appalled at these two women and their obnoxious, rude, and presumptuous behavior about the wedding gift they were given. The fact that they texted the gift giver and lectured them and asked for a receipt was even more heinous. Good thing this wasn't me because I would have told these two wedding witches to just put the gift basket out front on the porch.....so I can come and get it from their ungrateful and rude asses!

Ok, that was hilarious to read. So glad you posted this.

I think it was a really nice gift. It seemed thoughtful and probably cost a lot more than the $30-40 the brides are claiming. However, I do know that in some cultures it is expected to give money. In some, it's expected that you'll give enough to cover the cost of the wedding AND have extra for the couple to start their new life together. Whether that's the case in Italy or Croatia, I have no idea, but there are some places where that is the expectation.

Even so, the texts they sent this guest were unbelievably rude and uncalled for. They can hate the gift and be offended by it and not understand how someone could be so far off from what they expect. BUT they should NEVER tell him! You always say thank you and pretend to be appreciative, even if you're not. I can't believe they actually told him he should have given a certain amount and said they wasted money on him. Horrible to say, even if you think it.

I typically give a gift worth $100 and give more for my closest friends and family. I know the amount given varies across the country - people in NY give much more, people in other areas give much less. Where I am in So Cal, $100ish is pretty common, though certainly not expected or stated.

well let me tell you my kido just got married and guess what some of their "good" friends that were invited didn't send or bring a gift AT ALL! So it didn't matter how much they paid per plate rude is rude!!!