Do You Let 12-13Yo Kids Stay Home Alone?

Updated on February 16, 2016
J.J. asks from Lancaster, NY
22 answers

I realize kids this age are old enough to babysit, so legally, you wouldn't get in trouble for having them home alone, but my question is if my dd had a friend over and I had to leave to run errands, would you consider them responsible enough to be home alone? It probably depends on the kid, but I'm wondering if others allow this.

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J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

When they are that young I would clear it with the other child's parents just in case they have different ideas of how old than I do. I am not comfortable making decisions for other people's kids, always ends badly

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

I do leave my 13 year old home alone - recently I was out of town for most of the day and he was alone - but I have a no-visitors rule at this time. Unless it was something quick like 10 minutes to run the other kid to somewhere, I'd have the visiting child go home before I left. My kid is perfectly capable, but other people's kids are not always the type that should be unattended and I choose to not put my son in the position of trying to exert authority over a peer.

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A.L.

answers from Atlanta on

I do ask the other parent first. It also depends on the kids themselves and how long I would be gone. Maybe talk through it with the other child's parent first to find out their comfort level and views on whether THEIR child would be ready.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

mine were very comfortable staying home alone at this age but i'd never expect it to be okay to leave someone else's kid alone at home with them.
khairete
S.

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

I do allow it, but not if a friend is over. The rule for us is if our son is home alone for a little bit he is not to let friends come in if they come to the door...tell them they can come back later. One reason I do this is my brother and I were always home alone every day after school...for 2-3 hours. Neighbor kids would come over and some boys would encourage my brother to sneak beer from my mom. He would go along with it. These days I can see certain kids will say things like, hey, I want to show you something I found on the internet (or some other such thing).

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

NO way in heck I'd do that unless the other mom knew her child was going to be home alone with my kiddo in my house without anyone there. I'd be furious if I found out in a back way.

Let the mom know you're going and ask her if her kiddo is able to handle themselves.

They might not have a single minute of home alone time under their belt.

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X.Y.

answers from Chicago on

I hope your going to get approval from the friends parents first.

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M.D.

answers from Dallas on

Yes, you have to know your child, but yes I would leave my kids home at this age with a friend. You should let the friend's parent know that you might step out to run errands.

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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

Totally depends on the kid.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

It also depends on whether or not the parents sent the kid here with the understanding that an adult was home. If everyone was fine, then I'd run out for a couple of hours, but not be gone all day, typically. Each of my stepkids has a friend that we would trust in our home alone and those kids got more rein than others. Without a friend? They could be home all day as long as they were responsible. My SS was a really responsible kid. But they had other friends I wouldn't trust to watch my pet rock....I stayed home when those kids were over. Also, I wouldn't leave a BUNCH of kids home. Just one or two friends, maybe.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Depends on the kids in question.
For a few hours, with reasonably responsible kids - it should be fine.
I wouldn't leave them on their own for a whole day or a weekend.
And some kids you just can't ever leave alone no matter how old they are without them burning the house down.

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I leave my 13 year old at home alone, I leave my 10 year old at home alone, I leave my kids at home together, I have left my 13 year old in charge of my 10 year old and a friend and I have left my 13 year old alone with a friend. Both of my kids have had home alone classes, the 13 year old has his babysitting course, both kids are mature and responsible and have never given me a reason to distrust them. It also depends on where I am going and how long I will be gone. When there are friends involved I let the parents know ahead of time. It has never been an issue.

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

I will leave mine home alone to watch younger siblings at this age. They took the babysitting course.
I am not comfortable with them having friends over and us not being here. I think we've done it in a pinch and I did run it past the parents. They have done the same with us when we drop one there and they have to drive a kid somewhere, etc.

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

I let my 13 yo stay home alone, but no, with permission or not, I would not allow his friends here without my husband or I home.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes I would, just to run out and run short local errands. By the time my kids were that age I knew their friends pretty well and never had a problem with anyone being disrespectful or unruly,

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A.J.

answers from Philadelphia on

If it's ok with that kid's parent, yes. I have run errands when my daughter has her friend over. They're both 10. The errands are only a few blocks away, like run to the ATM or store for a few things. My 10 year old also babysits her younger siblings for brief errands.

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

It depends on the kid. All 3 of my kids stay home alone for periods of time, the youngest is 8 so in MD the law says only for short periods of time. The other two, 10 and 12, can do it while I am at work if needed. My husband works from home though, so it's rarely an issue anymore.

My 12 year old went to a friends house and the mom said she was going out to dinner with her boyfriend. We are good friends with them and have been for 10 years. I told her as long as my daughter was okay with it - we were fine with it.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

My kid stayed at home with a friend, just the two of them, every day after school until I got home from work at that age.

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C.W.

answers from Nashville on

My daughter is 13 and yes, I allow her to stay home alone. She's even babysat her 2 y/o niece. Like today, she's home alone, her niece is in day care, but I would not let her babysit her two nephews (4 and 6), because they just don't listen to her, it has nothing to do with her.

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S.W.

answers from Detroit on

Hi J.,

it absolutely depends on the kids. mine is 14 and started staying on his own for increasing amounts of time about a year ago. It's winter break here in good old MI so we split the week into days on his own and days with stuff to do, like hanging with his buddies. Today? he's home alone and swears he hasn't burned the house down yet.

The friend over is tricky. It really depends on the friend and absolutely I would need to discuss it with a parent of the guest. I believe he spent an afternoon over holiday break at his friends house and the mom left them to run a few errands. Again, they're 14, he's also a great kid and I feel assured they would be okay. and they were.

go with your gut on this one....as with most other mom dilemmas, NEVER ignore that mom alarm..... :-)!! S.

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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

I certainly let my daughter stay alone at home. At 13 she flew from Los Angels to Boston many times to see her her BBF from summer camp. Her BBF alternated trips to our home as well.as well. Mature single daughters.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

If they are responsible girls and you weren't going to be gone for too long, I think it would be fine. You would have to let the other girl's mom know in advance, too. If she doesn't approve, then you can't do it. You'll have to set strict guidelines about who can be there while you're gone. I know what my friends were doing when we spent the afternoon at someone's house without parents around and I sure wouldn't want my daughter doing the same.

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