Do You Raise Your Kids with Your Politics.-or Really Try to Give Them Both Sides

I teach my kids both sides, but like any good parent I guide them towards the side I find to be morally right. When it comes to the politics of finance, they are too young for most of that, but on social issues such as gay marriage/equal rights, helping those less fortunate, woman's rights, ect, I will teach them to be accepting, loving, and tolerant even when others are not. I don't teach them both sides are right, because in my opinion both sides are not right on these types of issues.

I don't associate with either party. I vote for whomever I feel would do the better job. I've taught my children time and time again that they need to look at every candidate and decide on who they feel would do the better job and who best aligns with their values.

Every election year I sit down (usually with one or more of the kids) and pull up information on the candidates. I then make up a list of who I want to vote for. I write these things down and then when I go to the polls, I pull out the list and vote for who I chose. The kids think it's funny, but when you have 30 different offices you have to vote for, you can't remember every one of them...so the list helps.

Hopefully I am teaching my kids to think for themselves and ask questions, to know why they believe in something and why it is important to them. I want them to research and learn the facts and not just listen to the soundbites. To me that is much more important than whether or not they will eventually vote the same as me. I am an independent myself. I want my kids to learn to think for themselves and to trust their own instincts....not just believe something because someone said it was so.

When they have asked me about issues and how I feel, I tell them what I think and why I believe that way. As they have gotten older, this often leads to discussion and debate...and I think that is great. They often challenge me and make me think a little harder about my own opinions...

My husband and I teach and guide our daughter with our values and morals --and those align with the Democratic Party. When she's old enough to figure it out, she'll know exactly which party that is and which it isn't.

I gave my kids both sides. I taught them morality and honesty and integrity. I taught them that they should work to support themselves and their families. I taught them that "families are forever" and not just until they got tired of their spouse or had a big arguement or saw another body that turned them on. I taught them they should be very careful when picking out their spouse because they were going to be with them for a long, long time . . . eternity, if they did things right. I taught them that I can spend my money better than the government can and if they feel they want to help the non-working "poor", that they are welcome to, but I want to be able to make the same choice (which non-working poor I choose to help). I taught them that "If you give a man a fish, you feed him today. But if you teach a man to fish you feed him forever." I taught them Captian John Smith's vision of welfare . . ."If you don't work, you don't eat". (Captain John Smith was the leader of Jamestown, established in 1609, and all the colonists wanted to go and hunt for gold instead of planting gardens and building shelters.) I taught them to be pro-choice as long as all concerned, the mother, the father, and the baby, get and equal choice. I taught them I married a lady and they will respect my choice, both as my lady and as their mother.

I always vote. I taught them to vote for the candidate that believes like I do and as I taught them. They do almost all the time.

I don't vote for candidates that practice immorality, especially those that are proud of it. (Clinton) Or those that want to spend our country into brankruptsy (Obama).

Good luck to you and yours.

I try to teach my kids both sides of everything - polictics AND religion!

I tell my 4th grader how I think the world works and that people often disagree about the best way to do something. Of course I try to install my values and teach her to make good choices at the same time.
I stress we do not make fun of people, do not trust tv show hosts blindly(either side), and have to be responsible for ourselves. I also point out thinking that will hinder her life(playing the victim) when it comes up in our lives.

"But the school was teaching that." The school was teaching her what?
Oh--OK. Wonder what your reaction would have been if she came home saying "Go McCain"?! LOL Would you have been so quick to sit her down and "explain" it all? Just kidding.

Seriously, my husband and I have our political differences. We each try to answer his questions (and he has some great questions at 8) honestly and openly AND we try to present the opposing views as well. He's hopelessly socially liberal at 8. And pretty financially conservative. Except if it's MY money.

ADDED: I totally agree. OK at school to discuss the candidates and the parties, but not to offer an opinion. I don't want MY child praying in school either--and we're Christian, btw.

I think the only truly responsible way is Jennifer H.'s. I love her response!

Sadly, I haven't done that myself. Sigh.

My kids are 19, 17, 14. We have, um, lively political discussions all the time.

My guy is totally a bleeding heart liberal, and refers to Republicans (ANY Republicans) as 'The Assholes', or THEY, who's 'they', babe? You know, the Assholes. Sigh again.

My ex husband is directly the opposite, so it's likely my kids think BOTH sides are assholes, tehehe.

Like Jennifer H, I am not entirely one on side or the other, have never voted by party only, side one way with some philosophies and the other way with other philosophies.

But, yeah, it IS a frequent topic in our house.

:)

I remember coming home from college one year telling my dad how great communism sounded. He is quite conservative and right wing... I remember he didn't say to shut up, I was being stupid or anything like that. He just listened, nodded and gave some countering POV. I think he had confidence I'd figure this stuff out myself someday. And he was right. So while I will certainly teach my values and already try to etc, I'll also let my kids find their own way. I completely agree the school shouldn't be esposing one view over the other during an election! (and I of course didn't get the impression your were mad at your CHILD.)

I am liberal. I don't believe in one party or the other. I think both the Republican and the Democratic party are corrupt and no longer have the peoples best interests at heart. I do find myself becoming more and more liberal as the years go on.

As far as my children go, I view it the same as religion. We are not Christian. Am I well aware that they will be exposed to Christianity in our culture? Yes. Have they even been exposed to it at school? yes. My daughter at age 8 was even told she was going to hell because she celebrates Halloween.

I am going to teach my kids my spiritual beliefs and my political beliefs. I am going to let them know that not everyone agrees with me and there are many paths to Nirvana. Not everyone walks the same path or believes the same thing and thats ok. It makes the world a better place.

I ABSOLUTELY try to pass my politics on to my son!

For me, politics are about VALUES. If I didn't care deeply enough to pass those values to my son, why would I bother voting? My understanding of "fairness," "deserving," "good" they're all wrapped up in my politics. The responsibilities of individuals for others, themselves, their neighbors, their families: That's politics. The responsibility of a community for it's members: that's politics.

I'm not interested in giving my son both points of view and telling him to make his own choice. He's FIVE and it's MY job to teach him right from WRONG!

As for the actual electoral stuff, I teach him that too, because knowing about the workings of our government is IMPORTANT! He watches the news, reads newspaper headlines, he knows who the major players are and if they are Democrats or Republicans and which ones we agree with and which ones we don't.

I don't think any of us can help but exhibit our deepest values in all of our everyday choices, and much of what comes out of our mouths. So most of our kids do tend to grow up mirroring their parent's (and/or other significant adults') views.

And many of those kids will gradually realize they are NOT the liberal or conservative they thought they were growing up. Those affiliations are actually strongly based in our personalities. Here's a terrific TED talk on this: http://www.ted.com/talks/jonathan_haidt_on_the_moral_mind.... I know more people who 'switched' as they moved through adulthood (in both directions) than those who stuck with their original familial mode of thinking.

For me personally, I became a liberal as I grew up, realizing that I wanted to hear ALL available information before making a choice. I'm still that way. This is the essence of liberalism for me, and for some of my liberal friends. Those who cannot listen with an open mind, are, to me, not liberals but just another version of extremists. Though the version we choose, I believe, is still strongly rooted in our basic personality.

I think we all try to give both sides, but I also think it's impossible not to do so in a biased manner. Let's not kid ourselves. I'm sure our kids know where we stand. I try to tell what the other side believes in a very neutral way, without any insults, or negativiety. I then tell what I think and why. I always ask my daughter what she thinks and why, without trying to change her mind. This method has worked out very well for her. The entire rest of her family, dad, aunts, uncles, grandparents, are polar opposites from her. She confidantly debates them with knowldege and conviction beyond her 19 yrs. Her debate skills are very impressive!

I remember singing an anti-McGovern/pro Nixon song when jump roping in first grade....that is how old I am...and my family are all democrats. I had no idea what I was saying.

My kids go to a Catholic school that makes no qualms about instilling values, that is part of what I like about the school. Many of the kids were pro-Obama, I think because he was young and exciting and had two young children. At young ages they are not able to understand the complexity of these two parties. My older son is very interested in politics and is on student council. He supported Clinton and was teased for it. He did not care. We talk about issues all the time and my kids know they get to believe whatever they would like as long as they are good people. What is interesting about his school is that on some issues, the values would be definitely conservative (abortion) while on others they would be liberal (immigration and death penalty). That is why we talk about these things at home. I always tell my kids to never believe something just because they are told to. They need to education themselves and come to their own opinions based on their own values and beliefs. This is exactly what I say to my own students. I am a college English teacher in a very liberal area, but I do not tell my students what to believe, ever.

My kids are 3 months, 3 years and 5 years old. They do not know anything political other than us bringing them with us to vote, and learning about a few past presidents. We told them we voted for Barack Obama. We did not tell them we're democrats or what our thoughts on republicans are...they're too young! But when they are older, I absolutely plan on exposing them to our political views. I have good friends that are republicans. We DO NOT discuss politics. It would ruin our friendship, as I am passionate about my beliefs. I will be honest, I don't think I could be married to a republican. But that is just me. I truly hope my kids will have my political beliefs but I will not force them. I would guess this is the same for those of you that are staunch Christians, you would obviously expose your kids to your religion and raise them with those beliefs and hope they grow up that way. But either way, they're your kids. Even if they decide to be a different religion. Also, I don't have a problem with a teacher expressing an opinion on either side of the equation. I live in a pretty republican area and I don't doubt my kids will hear that side. But we're their parents and I think we have a good amount of influence. :-)

My husband do not always see eye to eye on politics. I think whether it's politics or religion (add your own controversial topic), our job as parents is to teach our children to make good decisions, be strong in our beliefs, but tolerant of others. SO... I agree with you, it's not our job to tell our kids what to think - rather teach them TO think for themselves....

My kids know what my political orientation is, but I always make an effort to give the our kids the "other side". Especially since I differ from most of my family on political issues, and a well timed comment from a kid spouting off could potentially start a family feud. I also explain to our kids why I have the opinions I have. I suspect, as with other things, this is one of those areas where parents may rub off on kids initially; you know, where the children parrot their parents' belief system before being old enough to form their own opinion. It doesn't guarantee that the children will remain in that belief system as they develop themselves.

I raise my son to be aware of politics - that both (and all) sides are not necessarily on your side and every single last one of them will sell you out for a large enough campaign donation.
That pretty much covers it.

I teach my kids my/our family values and don't really address politics per se other than making sure that they know it's important to pay attention to issues, listen to what candidates have to say (and what they have done in the past), help out people who we believe in and most importantly, show up and VOTE. This starts at the local level with going to town meetings and elections all the way up to voting for the president.

That said, if I had to classify our values they lean more liberal than conservative on most things so I would imagine that as they get older, my kids will be pretty much able to identify that I think that the democratic candidates in general are upholding what we value.

What kids may think now, and what they think later, and then as they grow up and become adults and their own person... will always change.

Even for us grown-ups... our ideas/ideology/thoughts, are not the exact SAME as when we were kids.

Thus, we teach our kids, different points of views.
And we also teach them how to "DISCERN" things... media/ideas/thoughts, too. So that, they can make their own decisions... albeit they know what us, their parents, may believe or have as their own foundations on beliefs or ideology.

I do not, force my kids to think a certain way.
I want them to be well-rounded and to be able to think on their own, and have the cognizance, to have, a world view.

Learning, is about learning about life and all its, perspectives.
It is not, about brain washing or only 'allowing' 1 thought, in life.

And we 'discuss' things with them.
All kinds of things.
Not only 1 perspective.
And we allow our kids, to ask questions.
And that they can bring their ideas, to us, too.

I admit I didn't read all the responses. My husband and I joke that we tend to cancel out our votes. But the difference is that he votes staunch republican, PERIOD! I tend to vote democrat, but honestly can't tell you who is running on which ticket because I vote policy not party. When we discuss political issues we give both sides and since our kids are older, let them decide what makes sense to them.

I dont even raise myself with politics, much less my kids.

With both my children we emphasize that it is very important to be able to support your ideas, whatever they are.

I always ask them to make counter-arguments to me as well . . . i.e., "why do you think that person or political organization advocates the way they do?" They need to be able to examine both sides to make cogent arguments.

JMO.

I don't have a problem with teachers having political beliefs - I don't believe that they should be force-fed to students.

We are both of the same party, so it makes it easier. I let my oldest feel how he wants, which mostly is along the lines of us. I took him to vote in 2008 and let him cast the vote for President, only after I made sure that he would vote for who I was wanting. If he had wanted the other candidate, that would be fine, but I would've cast my vote.

He was so super psyched when he left that booth. Our friend was with us and her son asked if he could do the same. She said no. When she came out of the booth he asked who she voted for and she said 'that's my business not yours'.... put a damper on the outting. I still don't know who she voted for. If she did vote for the other candidate, that would've been fine of course, but it just sort of made things sour that she was so close mouthed and foul about it.

I raise my children to be Christians! And whatever the issue is, we look at which side leans toward the way our Christ taught, and that is what we support.

Truthfully, I don't believe that children under 12 should hear anything about it anyway. Children should be allowed to be children. We should be sheltering them from the news and the adult world. Let them keep their innocence longer. They should not have to worry about such grown up matters as politics. There is plenty of time for them to learn about these things once they are teens and young adults.

I used to teach first grade (during the election) and I would get frusturated (without letting them know) at my students for telling me how much they wanted Obama to win, and when I asked them why, they either didn't know or would give me a color. They (and unfortunately) some of their parents had no idea what they were voting for.

My husband and I are both conservative, but my parents are both pretty liberal. Recently they are coming a little more to my side. ;)

We will raise our daughters (both very young) to vote for what they think is right, even if it is not with the party they typically align themselves. I pay attention to debates and what canidates are going for what. I wish I paid a little more attention than I do, I tend to wait until closer to election time to figure out what's going on. Sometimes (in my opinion last election) we are forced to choose between the lesser of two evils than to vote for someone we truely feel is the right person for the job.

To answer your question, I don't think it matters what party we are registered with to our children. It is raising them with good morals and being able to tell right from wrong that is important. I also think that we need to teach our children how to do proper research and not to believe anything they see on TV or most of what they read on the internet. :)

Added - re your SWH - I "read" your question the way I read it because you said you were mad when she got home. You didn't say you were mad at the school. You know in your head what you mean when you write, but your reader doesn't always "get" it. I answered your post before you wrote any additional comments about the school.

Original:
You shouldn't be mad at your daughter for that. Would you have been equally mad at her if she had come home saying she loved McCain? She DOESN'T know who she should and shouldn't like, but that isn't the point. The point is that she is becoming part of the political process. Fussing at her or acting irritated that she doesn't like YOUR candidate will just make her end up feeling that she owes YOU her opinion, and not herself. Is that what you want?

We have definite opinions in our household, and my kids lean a lot more the other way than me and my husband. I am constantly trying to get them to see why McCain wasn't a bad guy and that doesn't mean that I don't like President Obama - I do! And I don't get mad at my kids - it is up to them to figure out where they stand. What I try to do is show them the layers of what is happening so at they can see that nothing is simple. My boys are teens and I can show them a lot more than you can show your 8 year old, and I do. All those nasty political ads with soundbites that pretty much are lies - THAT'S something I work REAL hard to explain to them. Like the Willie Horton ads from long ago - they need to see them for what they are so that they can figure out what the political parties are really doing.

I could say so much more, but typing on a phone hurts my hand and head. I need to go back out to the beach and relax!

Dawn

I've not read any of your other responses, but I did read your SWH. I am liberal & a registered democrat, my husband is conservative & a registered republican. We do get in arguments sometimes in presidential election years, but more like lively debates, not angry arguments. With that being said, I do not feel the need to vote along party lines as I have a couple of very definite deal-breakers like the issue of abortion. I think it's because of that I've found it really important to explain to both of my kids how much attention needs to be paid to getting to know the candidates & weighing the options based on how much you agree/disagree with their viewpoints & that's it's ok to have 1 thing more important to you than others ie your deal-breaker. I would never dream of forcing my kids into one party or the other, that's the beauty of everyone being an individual!!

I have been taking my son with me when I vote for the past, well, 15 years. (he is 15). We have always talked about the candidates - on his age level's understanding because he asks me why I am voting for So and So. In my area, local politics are huge, but the area is small enough where we can actually run into local Mayors, and council people at the Target. And I know several local politicians through prior work experiences - since I drag my son to odd luncheons and fundraising events, he has met them also. LOL So, local politics have been a good spring board for conversations about learning about the candidates, their positions, and their records. He is learning that just because M. knows someone that doesn't always means she votes for them. Geesh - just don't tell them that!

I have traversed from extremely liberal in my 20s, to conservative in my 40s - tho' I vote for the person I believe will best serve the constituency, not by party line - so I cross over, and under, and around the political spectrum. Which keeps for a pretty lively conversation around my house during election times.

I am proud to say that my son pays attention, in his teen age way, to who is running for what, and actually expresses opinions that are backed with what facts he can glean from the media. And we sometimes disagree...he is definitely developing his own politics.

I think it is outrageous that a school would endorse a candidate. Politics certainly don't belong in elementary school.
Schools should be teaching children to think critically.
I don't understand why moms are criticizing you for "getting mad at your daughter." I read it as you being mad at the school. However, she could have just heard other children parroting their parents.

i always try to give both sides, but i hate politics!
I think most people are being selfish when it comes to political issues.
i am a very religious christian and go to church every sunday but i am not a republican. i love our earth and our people and believe that everyone should have the rights and choices that are God given, but i am not a democrat.
i am not independent or green or red or bald.
i believe in peace, tolerance, acceptance and love and i teach this to my children. hopefully with those values they will learn to make better future voting decisions than we americans have in the past!
i do talk to them about current events and find out their opinions. its fun to talk to kids about that kind of stuff!

I can speak first hand on both the parent and the teacher side. As both I always teach both sides, even when I don't agree with one of the candidates because I want the children to understand the concept of elections and two sides having merits that we may or may not agree with. I want them to understand that we vote for issues that are important to us as individuals and that not all of the issues may be exactly the same as ours but we need to weigh them out. In school, I usually do an election of two non-human candidates to teach this concept-bear vs. fox...

As for who they are hearing about in school "go___" that you referred to...in my experience-three presidential elections now; it is the students that are leading that conversation, not the teachers. In our system we are not allowed to share who we are voting for and I haven't worked in a school that has allowed this yet.

My husband and I do not qualify ourselves as either Democrat or Republican. I think that can be a scary thing to do if you follow a party solely instead of voting for people who share the same views you do. When we vote we both vote for whoever most closely follows our views without regard for which political party they're involved with. We will raise our children to do the same. As many of you have mentioned, we should be teaching our kids critical thinking skills, not to follow blindly and that's how we'll raise our kids. At the moment they're too young. In general, I think my husband and I follow that guideline for most, if not all, of life's questions/dilemmas/etc.. We want our kids to look at all angles, consider all the possibilities, and then make an educated decision they can feel good about.

I try to teach my kids the issues and the political process (e.g., what is a presidential election). For instance, my daughter was around 5 when the last presidential campaigns were going on. I explained to her the situation and the fact that people have different opionions on things like how to raise money for the governement and how to spend that money on the citizens. I tried hard to be neutral. But she asked who I was voting for. I told her and also mentioned tha tfor instance Grandma would probably vote for sos and so, etc. because people have different opinons.

That said, my husband and I do discuss our reactions to specific news items as they come up, such as "I will never vote for So And So!" If she asks about it, I will, again give her an overview of the sides and the process, and tell her why I feel the way I do.

I guess, I want her to understand how the government is supposd to work. And I want her to understand my views and principles. But I don't want her to ever think it is okay to be disrespectful of someone else's opinions.

I'll add, I am not a party member, and I have voted both ways up until the last 5 years or so when I have felt not so much a comradarie with one party but more a complete and utter disconnect from the other party. By this I mean, I often find myself voting againsta candidate even more than for a candidate. I too want my children to look at the person and his/her positions, and not just party.

I was raised by Catholic Republicans... I felt I was not Catholic or Christian from the age of 12 and realized I didn't believe in the Republican platforms at the age of 15. My sister whom is only 10 years younger has completely fallen into the Christian Republican dogma hook line and sinker... she does not research her officials, or current events - she asks my parents how they are voting and votes that way too.

I encourage my daughter to be open minded about religion, to seek and question... I show her the abuses of humanity towards other humans, nature and animals... and I tell my daughter why I do the things I do. My husband is generally along the same non religious, mostly liberal approach I am - he's European.

I am teaching my daughter that you vote for the candidate that most aligns with your thoughts and values - not party lines. Traditionally my husband will vote democtratic and me republican, but not always! I, like you, think it is important for your child to realize it is okay to have a different opinion than other people - that is what makes this country great!!

people in the schools,whether they be principals, teachers or even janitors, should NOT be discussing their political viewpoints with the students, i dont care if they are voting for the easter bunny.if the parents wanted their kids teachers political opinions, they would ASK them, not get the teachers political opinions parroted THRU their own child. who ever heard of some two bit stranger pushing their political opinions at a child?? just where was this child going to school, communist russia?save the political discussions with students for high school, and ask the parents if they mind the teachers discussing politics with their kids, FIRST.
K. h.