Do You and Your Spouse Agree Politically?

We totally agree. Last night my youngest that is 10 asked me if I voted for Mitt Romney. I told him "Yes!" and he goes "Thank you momma". He asked if my husband had yet and for who. I told him he was going to do it today and jokingly told him "If he wants to stay married to momma he will vote the same way" I really would not leave him if he did but I know he will vote the same. We are on the same page with most everything. The way he said it was so cute!!!!

I could NOT be with a spouse who's politics were significantly different than my own.

My politics come from my basic values about what is right, fair, just, and responsible. We might disagree about specific ballot initiatives, but on the big issues, and party affiliations we agree believe the same things about the responsibility of a community to its members.

Yes, thank goodness.

He said it is one of the things he loves most about me. I am passionate about caring about others..

His parents are complete opposites of us, so is his sister and her family..

We agree to disagree. Actually politics have nothing to do with our relationship, love or 'making things work' during elections.
We didn't fall in love with each other for our political views and we won't divorce over them either.
Politics plays such a minuscule part of our day to day lives, and truth be told I think that is the norm more often than not for households across America.
We have differing views on very few things and those things will NEVER create friction in this house, we are both WAY smarter than that.

Troy and I met during my last year of college. I must have went on for at least four hours about how damaging Obama's policies are. When you are in a B school during all of this everything that is going wrong was made into an economics, accounting or finance lesson.

So I am going on, and you know dating 101 don't talk about politics. So after four hours, still smiling, he said you have words for everything I think about that man. I would have married him then.

Thing is it isn't about politics, it is about core issues. Who I am defines my politics not the other way around. Our politics match because we both find the same things important.

We don't at all. We just agree to disagree and don't discuss politics. It just doesn't affect our relationship. We joke at election time that our votes just cancel out the others. Not a big deal to us. Oh - and we have at times had signs for both parties in our yard LOL

Yes we are very similar in our political thoughts. I agree with Jo W. Its not that our political thoughts are the same, its that our core beliefs are the same.

Now, our football teams are a completely different matter. That can cause BIG problems!!

My husband and I have the same basic morals and the same basic viewpoints on a lot of things, but when it comes to politics, sometimes we have differing opinions on HOW to bring our values to fruition. We don't agree all the time, but we do respect each other all the time. I guess the big part being able to do that successfully is that we don't go for rhetoric on any side, and give thought to our ideas and decisions instead of just blindly following a party or person. I guess "the big stuff" to US, we agree on. But even then, we can calmly share what we're thinking without fear of judgement or anger, even though we could have a different take or look at something from a different angle than each other.
I DISAGREE with people that say your political party = your core values. Political parties are just groups of people playing games to win. Who you vote for can show HOW you think you should handle a problem to get that value met...it doesn't say someone who votes differently has no morals, or different morals than you. I think we all want much of the same things, and it's a matter of calmly discussing how that can come about that really matters. And what do you do individually, not just voting, that makes you a good moral person or not. My husband can't vote since he's not a citizen, but he would probably vote differently than I do. However, I know who he is, I know what he does on a daily basis, and there's no way I could write him off as having different core values than me!

I could have married someone of a different race or religion but definitely not someone of a different political party than my own. Your core values and beliefs define your political party.

I don't know my husband's political views intimately. We just don't discuss it at all (mostly because we're not really interested in politics). I suspect he's somewhere in the middle, leaning to the left, while I'm somewhere in the middle leaning to the right.

We both voted today. I don't know who he voted for, it's his personal choice. And whatever choice he made would NEVER have any effect on our marriage. I guess it does help that we're both "somewhere in the middle".

Yep.

It's because our priorities are aligned. I think that is so important in a marriage.

Ditto Jo and Stacey... our core beliefs are the same therefore in most ways our political views are the same. I would disagree though with J.C. in the sense that your beliefs and values should determine your political affiliations, not the other way around.

Yes, we are politically compatible. :)

It is my honest opinion that people ought to be evenly yoked or not get married. That means they need to agree on everything worth fighting over...otherwise, there WILL be fights, there WILL be contention, and no marriage needs to start out with disagreement built right in.

Of course, our political stance is based mostly on moral values...and that is a MUST to agree on for a successful marriage. You honestly can't have two people on opposite sides of the moral fence saying that their marriage is great...it won't be, eventually. I fully believe this.

When we talk about opposites attract, I think that's more like Paula's song...you know, one stays up late and one goes to bed early. Issues that have no real bearing on the world.

;) Yes, our political minds agree.

What Jo said.

There are such fundamental differences right now. If he were the kind of person who would vote for "the other guy", we would never have even been able to get together in the first place. We do tend to vary a bit on certain issues--and that's never a problem for us--but we pretty much come down on the same sides.

ETA: Lol, Mum4ever - We know that there was more motivation in that Ahh-nold and Maria story. One of his three goals when he touched American soil was to marry a Kennedy, any Kennedy. For him, failure was not an option, at least not until getting in good with the clan and procreating baby Kennedys.

I'm honestly shocked at the ignorance of people to say others shouldn't get married if they don't agree politically. My husband and I have NEVER agreed politically and never will. However, we want the same things...weird, I know, but we just have different ideas on how we think our country should get from point A to point B. We love each other and probably have a stronger marriage than others who have problems not related to politics. Go figure.

We agree to not discuss politics, most of the time. When one of us gets on a roll and really wants to talk about it, we just have to remember we love each other and voting opposite doesn't mean we don't love each other.

I know my state will not vote the way I want it to, but that doesn't mean I didn't drag my 3 kids and myself (less than 2 weeks post-op) to the polls this morning.

NO. My husband and I are on COMPLETE different sides of the line but we get along great because our moral values are the same.

When my husband and I first got together, he had a sticker - 'Friends Don't let Friends Vote Republican' (that was when Clinton was in office). Now he has a Mitt sticker on his car and generalizes me as a 'bleeding heart liberal'. He would probably like it if Clinton could run over and over again, but until then, I'm 'wrong'. So, I just stick to my guns and try not to make him a literal bleeding heart Republican :)

I agree with the others that say it goes to core beliefs. For me, I think it could be very challenging to be with someone whose beliefs were vastly different from mine.
Even my ex and I were on the same page.
My daughter is in 9th grade civics this year and its made for a lot of fun discussions. She's asked a lot of questions on why I believe this or that. She's not truly "questioning" my beliefs, just is at the age where she wants to know my core reasoning.

We agree on the way we vote. I am a bit more liberal on social issues, though. It doesn't make things difficult in our marriage; it gives us something to talk about. ;)

Yes, thank goodness. I would kick him to the curb if he was voting for Obama!! Hee hee! :)

My ex and I often voted differently on some issues/candidates, the same on others.
We also practiced different religions.
Political and religious beliefs are too personal for one person to decide for another, and we never felt that either of us had the right to try to make the other change in either of those areas.

Yes we do. We are very passionate about politics. My degree is in Social Science and his is in Economics...so they overlap in many ways. We discuss varying economic policies and the history of many nations and their progress or demise due to certain economic policies.

Our core values tend to be the foundation of our political leanings. I am not saying couple's can't have a fabulous marriage if their political opinions are different. Just saying for me it would be very difficult to not share these same core values with my lover/husband/father of our children/friend.

True love always finds it's way...as long as both are committed to one another.

Yes, we almost always agree politically.

Mostly. We're registered with different parties, but we both lean toward center and tend to vote for the best candidate, not the party line. There's a ballot question locally where up til he confirmed a key piece for himself, he wasn't going to vote for it. I told him I respect his opinion and he respected mine.

When I was married, my husband did not always agree with my political views. I did not always agree with his.

We chose not to argue about it and voted independently the way we wished.

I won't mention which election, but he actually voted the way I did because he was thinking about what would be the best for our family, etc. He crossed party lines to do so. I didn't nag him, in fact, how I vote is a very private thing for me. I can vote how I want and it's not my place to change anyone else's mind. Nor is it their place to change MY mind.

We didn't get into huge debates about it because we both knew we could vote how we wanted. And we did. I didn't tell him how I voted because it's my business. He didn't tell me either until the one election that he changed his mind and wanted to talk about it after the fact.

Look at Cokie Robers and James Carville.
Total opposites politically, but madly in love and devoted to each other and their children. They put their love above their opinions and respect each other for their differences.

I bet a million bucks they both voted and probably not for the same tickets.
It doesn't seem to have to cause a division in their marriage or family life.

It's possible.

We used to be on the same page and somehow he has changed recently. He's driving me crazy. We just agree to disagree! I may be staying late at work tonight just to avoid hearing it :)

sort of. I am a moderate conservative, and he is a pretty extreme conservative. For instance, I believe that at times abortion should be allowed. (for goodness sake, our daughter was told she had to terminate a pregnancy or she would die. She chose not to, and she and the baby lived anyway. I would have wholeheartedly supported her if she made that decision). He is more black and white. I believe that gays are born that way, he believes being gay is a sin. I'm ok (just ok, not really comfortable) with gay marriage. I'm kind of whatever about it. He says no way. Really, I just don't discuss all this with him because he is so passionate and overbearing with his opinion. I halfway wonder if he is even aware of our differences, or just assumes that I'm just following along.

There are many couples who find love and marriage regardless of their political affiliation.

Arnold Schwarzenegger (uber R) and Maria Shriver (uber D) come to mind.

My husband and I vote differently, but actually agree on many core issues.

When we first met, my husband was like a walking & talking CNN broadcast. I was raised on a steady audio diet of Rush Limbaugh. Somewhere over the course of the past decade we have arrived on the same page.

My ex and myself actually have the same views politically but on everything else we usually dont go figure

On every single issue. It is so easy!!

Now, when it comes to who should cook dinner tonight.......

We did when we first got married. In fact, his political affiliation was what attracted me to him. (well, there were other things too.) But he changed after about 10 years of marriage. He started slipping to the other side. Caused a lot of tension for us. We could't have discussions like we used to. He assumed everything i said was misunderstood or a flat out lie, and i spent way too much time sourcing facts to him. We finally just learned not to ever talk about it. At last, these last 4 years seems to have cured what ailed him and he's back. For the most part. Still not going to strike up any discussions with him. I know he's not one to have to admit he was being a boob for 10 years. :) He has a good heart though, and I think that was he saving grace in all our disagreements!

Yes we differ in some ways, and tend to cancel each others' votes out when it comes to splitting along party lines :-(
I am a moderate liberal, he is a moderate conservative.
Our main differences have to do with taxes and spending, but we both agree on social/moral issues like protecting the rights of gays, women and immigrants (his father was an immigrant so this hits close to home) and investing in education, which we both feel is crucial to the future of this country.
Honestly I find our little bedtime debates rather sexy, because I DO value and respect his opinion, even when I don't agree with it, and I think he feels the same way!

Yes, we do!
My USMC hubby & Woodstock me--go figure!

We completely agree on everything. Makes it easy that way ;)

I grew up in a republican household. I married a Democrat. He put up with me working on republican local elections (I knew the candidates personally.) That was into my late 20's. At the point that the Contract With America mess hit and Newt Gingrich turned my brain inside out, I started to realize that I didn't believe in the republican platform anymore, and was no longer a republican. Indeed, I think that my friendships with these folks colored my understanding of what the republican platform really was.

I'm sure my husband was plenty glad that he didn't have to inwardly roll his eyes about my political affiliation anymore. Ever since then, we've been pretty much on the same page politically.

Dawn

We are mostly similar, I think we sometimes disagree on our local ballot measures. But since I'm the election wizard in the house, (the one who does all the real reading on this stuff), I can usually explain my side to my advantage.;)

I believe this was much more the case when moderates were the primary part of both parties. Then it was much more a matter of how to solve the same problems (taxes a little higher or a little lower, but we all believe in the interstate highway system). I think it would be hard to get past the politics when (for example) one of you believed that marriage equality is right and anyone who does not favor it is a bigot and one of you believes gay people are going to hell. Not much room for compromise there.

DH and I have pretty parallel views on most political issues.

We sure do. Ah, marital bliss. :)

This was a cute article from our local paper about the same subject:
http://www.ocregister.com/articles/helane-376717-says-bob...

My husband has evolved over time and now (mostly) shares my political views.

Shane, the political couple of which you speak is Mary Matalin and James Carville, not Cokie Roberts. Mary and James are polar opposites, politically. I would love to attend a dinner party at their house. I bet it gets interesting!

And I can't swear to it, but I'm fairly certain that Carville and Cokie Roberts have the same political leanings. I love Cokie's discussions of the Supreme Court decisions. She's fabulous!

Yes! We agree on almost every major topic. We have different styles on rasing the kids. He is actually the kinder of the two I am stricter. And the topic of teen adoption we disagree on!

When we first met we both had pretty strong views of different parties. Over the years we've both moved closer to the middle. This year we actually voted for the same candidate for President...I think it was the first time ever!

no point in disagreeing because you then lose a vote. but in our case we are a bit of a complicated voter, we are democrats at heart about almost everything (abortion, gay marriage etc) except in voting. we have been voting republican since al gore because frankly the democratic candidates are not good for this country.
we are republican when it comes to taxes, i don't want more taxes.
we are republican in free healthcare-we don't want to pay for others who refuse to get jobs.

Sometimes, but not always. We are both moderates and vote on the issues, but I am more conservative and he more liberal.

ROFL... We totally did agree (my EX and I)... Which is the sum total reason why I've been reevaluating my political stances. <grin> if my ex agrees with it, I need to seriously reconsider.

The couples I know who disagree politically, are all much smarter than I am. Some are even in office (and vexed at laws that keep being enacted that ban party members from voting in /for other parties... in primaries mostly). I know a Dem (Representitive) who wants to be able to vote for his wife (Repub)... Because he believes her the best for the job... But where they live, he's disallowed from such action.

We have some things we agree on and others we don't. For example, he loves to hunt so he is opposed to more control laws because lets face it, the laws only make it harder on the law-abiding citizens and the criminals will still get their hands on the guns they want. He believes they just need to enforce existing laws and crack down on the criminals. I agree with what he says in that regard; however, I am not a fan of hunting/guns and this is not a stong issue for me. I do believe we have the right to bear arms but I still think laws are ok. This issue is one where even if he otherwise agrees with a candidate but they are strong on gun control and the other candidate is more pro-gun owner he will vote for the latter. It's his hot-bottun.

We agree on some fundamentals but education is more of a hot-button for me.

We cancel each others votes federally, but align on municipal issues...that counts for something, right? lol!

Our differences challenge each other to see other perspectives and role model respectful tolerance. The debates over our dinner table are friendly and interesting. The more important question is what do those who agree TALK about? Lol!

My partner and I disagreed this Presidential election but agreed in 2008. It all blows over until the next 4 years...

Generally no. We joke that we cancel each other's vote. ;)
And we've been together 26 years!

Sometims we do, sometimes we don't. We're both pretty middle grounded so sometimes we sway into "other" party territory :)

My husband and I agree most of the time, but he told me last week that before his mom passed away, she would intentionally vote for the person running against whoever my father-in-law had chosen for the sole purpose of canceling out his vote.

My husband and I agree, yes.

Yes, we do agree. We are both very biblical in our thinking so we tend to agree on politics. It's nice having the same source of truth.

Aaah, my husband is kind of a "down on the system, down on the man" character so I am always trying to bring him over to my side! But this morning he voted libertarian or some crazy thing because he is convinced his vote doesn't count anyway and all of our states electoral votes will go to Obama. I think he may be registered Independent, not sure.
We agree on most of the props.

No, we cancel each other's vote, at least in the presidential and gubernatorial races. We often match up more the farther down the ballot you go. We have been together 12 years and have always been this way. We have spirited discussions/debates regarding politics, and he used to joke that he was going to lock me in the closet on election day, but we make it work :-)

I appreciate where my husband is coming from, and I know he puts a lot of thought into his political decisions, so I can respect that even if I disagree with his choice.

We don't really discuss it in depth. We'll watch the debates together and I'm usually very vocal while he's there saying "would you pipe down I'm trying to hear what they're saying!" I tend to be pretty liberal and am vocal about it. At the end of the day, we probably vote very similarly but he's more on the fence than I tend to be.