Do You See Many Problems If a Man with Teen Daughters Has a Gf in Her 20Ties?

Sounds like he's going through a mid life crisis.

i think you need to figure out why you're so fixated on what the ex thinks of you.

you sound way too immature to get married, period, whatever the state of holes in your tongue.
khairete
S.

If I were the mother of a man who was dating a girl who wasn't much older than his daughters, I would tell him to grow the hell up and to have the maturity to date women his own age. I wouldn't care if she had piercings or tattoos.

Yes, you are very likely going to have troubles dating a man who is so much older than you. I think you should look for someone closer to your own age. He is too old for you.

You are so focused on the reaction of the ex-wife.

My answer is this, you are too young to be with the man. His kids are roughly your age and from the questions you're asking, about as mature.

I wouldn't care about the piercings and tattoos. What I would care about is how you treat my kids and the influence you are having on them.

Personally, I think you both should date people in your own age bracket.

I don't know too many women who are caught up with their ex's new girlfriends. They are concerned with their children - first and foremost. I think it's odd you would think the mother would be focussed on you.

So long as you are a positive influence towards her children - she'll be ok with you. You won't really factor into her life in any other way.

As for piercings and tattoos - I don't think she will care (again, her focus is on her children).

I have never known a case personally where a guy married a girlfriend who was around the age of his kids. Flings or short term relationships - yes, but they didn't last. Sorry - that's just been the cases I've known. They didn't tend to work out long term.

I do have friends who married people (men and women) who were considerably older than them - but they didn't have kids in the equation to consider. I think that's a lot less complicated. Marrying anyone with kids can be complicated - I think being around the same age is just one level of complication ...

If you were my daughter I would suggest an easier path ... it won't be an easy one, that's for sure - especially if you're already worrying about piercings.

why would I waste time hating someone? really.

you need to get some hobbies and life. Really. You're being VERY judgmental and VERY picky about your EX-HUSBAND's girlfriend. He's an EX for a reason

If you are the girl friend who is asking???

Sadly there is not always good relationships between a divorced couple, let alone the new girlfriend and ex wife. And if you are much younger, nearly the age of the children , you have to understand that could be completely peaking the ex wife insecurities if she has them. She may also wonder how serious this relationship can be. And as mothesr, our instincts are to think about children.
If you are close to the age of this man's daughter's, I can see where the ex would have concerns. What can he really have in common with a woman close to the age of his kids? Do you truly see a future with this man, or is just for now?
Yes, if you are going to be part of their lives, I would want you to have a good relationship with my kids. But if this not a truly serious relationship, I would not want you involved period. Despite your age, tattoos or piercings. It would be out of fear of my kids being hurt. It's about them, not the three of you.

The age thing would concern me, I would be worried about allowed a man who dates teens around teens, even his own. Now if you mean she is like 29 or something that is one thing, but 20 or 21? She is still basically a child herself. It is legal of course, but the brain is not fully developed until the mid 20s. I wouldn't care about tattoos or any of that, just the message my teen girls would be getting seeing their father date someone who is basically still a teen herself, or very close to it. Again, this is different if she is closer to 30 than she is 19.

I wouldn't really care, I mean, he IS an ex for a reason -- as long as she is decent toward my kids, leads a healthy, stable life, and mature. Age doesn't determine maturity and kindness. If the girl is in her 20s but wanting a family and on a straight path in life (focused on working rather than looking for sugar daddies, mentally stable, a good influence, wanting to help care for my child during visitation, no drug use, etc.), she is no different than a woman doing all that in her 40s, and yes, there are women in their 40s or 50s who are sleeping around, getting drunk and acting as stupid or worse than a college girl.

Do keep in mind though, that most people have enough sense to not introduce a significant other to the kids for a while, until they are sure that the person they are dating is long-term. Maybe by the time he is ready to do that, she is no longer in his life and you're worrying for no good reason. Assuming she gets past that point, the kids may not like her and have an issue with her due to her closeness in age with them, OR, it could go the other way around and they feel they can relate to her and she can be like a friend they talk to and go shopping with.

My ex is dating a woman much older than him. Again, I do not care. I do care if this woman is abusing my child or introducing her to alcohol or other things like that, but if she dresses like a grandma, wears gaudy makeup, or looks like Mama June (all of which apply to her, by the way), I don't care -- it's a reflection of him, not me. Why fixate on someone's appearance, especially if you're not sleeping with that person? You should worry more about how this woman interacts (or will interact) with your kids, than whether she has piercings or tattoos.

If I was divorced from my husband and he started dating a woman slightly older than our daughter’s age (19 yo) I would definitely be shaking my head. Add tattoos and tongue piecrcings to the mix and I would be thinking he lost his mind.

Having said that, if the woman had an education and good job who am I to judge? I would be wondering though what she had to offer if she wasn’t educated, didn’t have a skill that led to her gainful employment etc.