Do Your Kids Share a Room?

None of my kids share a room, but my nieces do. I know my sister can't wait to move so that she can find a 4 bedroom townhouse/house instead of her 3 bedroom so they can have their own rooms (they are 10 and 7).

I don't see anything wrong with sharing a room. I just think it is nice if the kids are able to have their own rooms, than they each have a space to go to in order to be alone.

Have you talked with your sons how they feel about sharing a room, that is always a good place to start... I don't think boys are as pickey as girls...lol

I grew up sharing a room with my sister. I don't understand why people think they need their own rooms. Pretty nosy to me.

As we got older we did stack two bookcases between our beds to give us each a little privacy (mostly because my sister was a night owl and would read until 2 am).

So live what you can afford. The $$ would be better spent on investing in their future education and your retirement.

I would advise you to have them share a room and don't go beyond your means. When my stepson comes and visits, he shares a room with his brother and we live in a 2 bedroom apartment as well. I don't think you're a bad mom.

I shared a room with my sister until I was 15. (She was 12)
We loved it and still talk about the memories today.

I think sharing rooms with siblings is good!
It helps kids learn to develop, maintain and negotiate relationships. It helps them learn compromising, respect and to love their sibling.

Sure, there are things to figure out, like enabling each child to still have "private time", but if they are currently sharing a room, they have probably figured a lot of this stuff out already.

Have you searched online? I"m sure you can find something in attachment parenting about the benefits of siblings sharing a room. Maybe a few quotes to "defend" your room sharing. Personally, I think it's none of your co-workers business!

You are obviously doing what's best for your family in other areas, so don't doubt yourself on the room sharing.

I think it's fine if they share a room. I shared a room with my sister until I moved out of the house! She's 16 months younger than me and we survived. If you had a boy and a girl sharing that would be a whole different story. Just tell your coworkers to butt out. It's your family and your choice. If the boys are managing it now they'll be fine!

I think it is admirable that you are trying to get ahead for your family--financial stress can be devestating for a family. Considering this, sharing a room is a minor issue! Don't doubt this decision. Just teach them to respect that each of them will want private time and try to come up with a system when they can claim the space for a short time. (friend over, crabby day...ect)

Good luck!

I only have one daughter so the room sharing isn't an issue, but I think that it is completely unfair of your co-workers to be putting that blame on you. I think that you are doing the responsible thing by finding a home that is more within your means. In the end, it will mean that you will be able to do more for your children. And unless your co-workers know something about your financial situation that you don't, they should never presume that they know better than you. Sure, if anybody was asked, the perfect home would be a bedroom for everybody, a spare bedroom, a computer room, a huge kitchen etc. But who in the heck is perfect nowadays :)

Don't give this another thought. We all "deserve" lots of things, but I don't necessarily think a private bedroom is very high on the list of priorities. Our parents shared rooms and in many cases (I know I did), we grew up sharing rooms. Today's kids spend plenty of time working on their individuality. Maybe more time together would be a good thing. In the end, sharing a room will probably make them better brothers and friends....Plus it will prepare them for dorm life! : )

You are not a bad mom for having your kids share a room. My sister and I shared a room through college. So did my brothers. It's life. It teaches about sharing and working out problems and just learning to get along with another person. Kids do not Deserve their own rooms. That's ridiculous. Don't worry about it. They'll survive and even end up better people for it.

My sister and I, who are two years apart, shared a room growing up. Of course we had our issues and got into arguments about whose side of the room was whose, and not to cross this line...etc, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. Just because someone "thinks" it's right to their kids their own room doesn't mean that it is the right thing.

I lived in France for the past 3 years, where space is very precious and expensive. Kids there share rooms without any issues. But one thing I noticed is that a lot of them have really neat spaces - where the beds are up high, like loft beds, and below the beds are desks and private spaces. If you can invest in a little creative "interior decorating", you could give each boy his own sleeping space up high and personal space down low. That way if one wants to be "alone" he can go "up" and read while the other is "down" doing homework or whatever. This is a way that even as they get older, they won't be in each others faces too much, and will still have a sense of personal space - all while allowing you and your DH to live within your budget. Good luck!

I share a room with my sister until she went to college. We had our moments when we needed our own space, but for the most part we got a long. My parents gave us the big bedroom so we would have more space.

Home sizes have been increasing over the years. This article talks about that: http://tinyurl.com/555cde (you can search on google for "average home size" + "increasing" to find more)

I had two sisters and we shared one large bedroom while growing up and it was fun. Every family I grew up with that had multiple children had them sharing rooms at some point. My daughter will be sharing a room with her sister (if we have another daughter!).

Look in real estate listings at home built prior to the 80s and homes built after the 90s. There is a huge difference (pun sort of intended) in square footage.

I think your boys will be just fine sharing a room. You're moving into the apartment for the benefit of the family. Yes, it would be nice if they could have their own rooms, but it would be better for everyone if your family was financially stable - that alone eliminates LOTS of stress.

Your boys deserve enough food to eat, a roof over their head, clothing, and some fun. You're providing that well. People are always happy to be telling you what you're doing wrong as a parent, but I'm telling you you're doing something right. And besides, your coworkers probably have no problem about two people sharing a dorm room which is essentially the same thing, only they're sharing the room with family and not a stranger.

Good luck. You're doing fine. :) Sorry for being long-winded. I feel a bit strongly about this apparently (ha).

Kids these days are very spoiled, I can't believe your co-worker said they need their own rooms. Did she ever watch the Brady Bunch they had 3 girls and 3 boys in one room each. With your boys being so close in age I don't see anything wrong with them sharing a room. What did your co-worker think happens when kids go off to college? They share a dorm room too!

I rent a 2bdrm townhouse and have a 7 year old daughter and am pregnant with another girl and you bet they will be sharing a room, it would cost me a fortune to rent a 3bdrm. Even if I was having a boy they'd still share a room for a few years or so.

Studies show that children who share rooms handle doorm life better in college. Kids who don't have a lot of stuff that is their "private" property are less territorial and spoiled. All my kids have or are currently sharing rooms, depending on the number of bodies in the house at a given time. We have had little ones and big ones share, girls and boys (at younger ages), teens and babies. And mine have all grown up knowing how to share everything - including toys, clothes and food. Most of the world doesn't get it's own room, so why should we bow to a convention particular to here when it may not even be in our children's best interests? Teaching selflessness rather than selfishness should be the goal of every parent. I applaud you for making changes to better your family's long-term situation. Remind your kids (and yourself) that by downsizing you are entering a new and exciting phase of opportunity to grow and learn things you could not when you were financially strapped and spread over a bigger house. We live in a culture where functioning in the red is a way of life. Taking responsibility to live differently can be initially painful but you will reap great rewards later. Familial closeness requires time and proximity to develop. When you can't get away from someone you are forced to learn to get along with them!

SAHM of seven in a small house

Wow, now kids "deserve" their own room... They deserve a roof over their heads, basic clothes to wear, and food to eat, which sounds like what you are providing for them. My family of six lived in a 3 bedroom house, the 2 girls and the 2 boys shared rooms. Some days we didn't like it, and some nights we talked and giggled for hours. I didn't know anyone who had their own bedroom when I was growing up, unless they were an only child and then we felt sorry for them. They will be fine! If all families had "lived within their means" for the last couple of decades, we wouldn't be reading about so many foreclosures...

My girls are now 18 & 21 and shared a room until the older went to college and continue to share the room when she is home. My sister and I shared a room when I was in school and my two brothers had to share also. If either will be heading to college in the future, I feel that kids who share their space make a smoother transition into college dorm life.

I would just like to add my two cents to applaude you for understanding the need to live within your means. I think sharing a room can actually foster many beneficial life skills. (My sisters shared a room while I had my own most of our childhood, and I found I had a difficult time adjusting to a roommate in college.)
We are also moving into a 2-bedroom apartment in a couple weeks, and my family also seems to have expectations that we should have a large house of our own. But now that I stay at home with my baby daughter, we are trying to live with a single income without cutting into our savings. I think living within your means is actually an improvement in quality of life (hard to convince most materialistic Americans) because you have much less stress about money, and, hey, apartment living is far less stressful when it comes to cleaning smaller spaces and not worrying about maintenance :)