Dog Question - Spring,TX

I agree 100% with Shane B. and DVMMOM. I wouldn't be out looking but if it happened, that would be OK too.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I also felt like you - to get another dog right away was a betrayal to the dog I had loved and cared for and who had loved and cared for me for 13 years! After 2 years, we have now gotten another dog.

My sister, on the other hand, loves Scottie dogs. She's had three now. She gets the new puppy right on the heels of the other dog's death.

I think it's different for everyone.

I'm not much of a dog person, I admit it, but there are some dogs that I have really grown to love. My sister had the best dog. She was a rescue puppy, and had the sweetest personality. She was so well behaved and just amazing. She had a wonderful spirit, and trust me, she hit the doggy lotto when my sister and her husband took her in. She just blended with the family beautifully.

She was 10 years old and got really sick recently. She had inoperable tumors. My sister babied her until it was at the point the poor thing was suffering and they had to put her down. I thought my brother-in-law was going to lose it. They absolutely swore they wouldn't get another dog because they were so heart broken and they were sure they wouldn't find another dog as wonderful as she was.

Well, a couple weeks after losing their dog, my sister ran into a man in a parking lot with puppies in crates in his car. He was bringing them back from a vet's appointment. My sister asked if he was trying to get homes for them and he told her no, that he'd rather keep them than risk them not getting a good home. My sister gave him her phone number, just in case.

Long story short, my sister got the little girl puppy and she is just in heaven over her. She couldn't be more different than her other beloved dog, which is okay, because then she is in no way a "replacement". Having a frisky new puppy and buying new toys and treats has helped my sister and her husband get over the loss of their other dog. We all still miss Trixie. We always will. But the new puppy has brought joy where there was sadness and there's nothing wrong with that.

If you're not ready to open your heart just yet, that's okay. You'll know when it's the right time. My sister found a great little dog in a parking lot of all places and feels it was just meant to be.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Best wishes.

I would focus more on getting the right kind of dog or puppy for your family, rather than just WHEN it happens. Sometimes things happen by surprise. I had taken in a puppy that had been given up by its breeder because he was a "poor doer" and the guy had brought it in to the vet hospital where I work with the intention of euthanizing it. We all said, "Umm, no, how about you sign him over to us and see what we can do if you don't want to have to take care of him?" He was a 6 week old Maltese puppy that, as it turns out, doesn't have a single thing wrong with him - he just needed to be fed more often and have someone actually pay attention to whether he was eating or not, instead of expecting him to just manage on his own. I took him home with the intention of fostering him until he could be placed in a permanent home - I did not intend to keep him. But it just so happened that a week later, we suddenly and unexpectedly had to euthanize one of our other dogs when she started having seizures and probably had a brain tumor and went downhill fast.

Now, normally I would not have been looking for another dog right away. I would have given myself some time and maybe at some point (ideally spring time for housetraining purposes) started researching getting another dog of the same breed (she was a pug, and we have another older pug at home still). But this little fluffball of a Maltese puppy had already been at our home for a week, my 5 year old had gotten attached, we were getting attached, we were upset about losing the other dog so quickly, and well...

As it turns out, he's been a great little dog and a lot of fun. Not the breed I would have picked, not the time I would have picked it, but sometimes, things happen for a reason. Having him really did help us focus on enjoying him rather than being stuck being sad about the dog we lost. It helped our house feel a little less empty. And like others have said, sometimes the right dog finds you instead of the other way around.

Discuss your feelings with your family, and try to figure out, if possible, a reasonable time frame in which to maybe get another dog. Realize that no matter how soon you do, you are not "replacing" Bella, and you never could. Every dog is unique and special and brings something new and wonderful into our lives. Give yourself some time to mourn, but also be open to welcoming another furry face into your home if the opportunity happens to present itself. Like others have said, I've never had to go looking for a new pet - they always find me. Sometimes the best way to help honor the memory of a beloved pet is to find another to pass that love onto.

I had planned to wait a little, but did not. We got a new puppy about 4-5 months after the first dog died and about a month before the second one died. Ultimately I couldn't imagine being home without a canine companion and I found the puppy I thought I was looking for (he's turned out to be more of a handful than I expected). Everyone is different in this respect and you need to do what feels comfortable for you.

We took time to mourn. We weren't even sure if we wanted another dog at first. We lost our 14yr old beloved Biker dog last Jan. We had a big vacation planned for June, so we knew we didn't want to get a puppy before then. After a few months, the house just seemed empty like it needed something, you know? Don't be in a rush, you'll know when you're ready. And going from a older dog to a puppy is a BIG change let me tell you!

S.:

I'm really sorry about your dog!! i know how hard this decision is!!

It took us 2 years to find another fit after Obi Wan Kenobi (Obi) died. We were not ready to even start looking for almost a year and then it took us another year to find Grady.

It takes time. If it was me? I would say to those trying to get a new one immediately? "I realize that you have already mourned Bella and accepted what is going on. I however, have not. I need time."

I am truly sorry for your loss!!! HUGS TO YOU!!!

Give time to mourn. We just lost our beloved Beagle not that long ago. My daughter was devistated and heartbroken as was the whole family. We have decided to wait to honor her passing. But we do intend to get another dog. When we do it is not replacing her. We never can replace her but what we are doing is opening our hearts to let in another love. Too many dogs are in shelters who need a home. It would be selfish for us not to.

I give myself time to mourn. I also never go out and purposely get a pet. Somehow, pets always find me. I think it's the way it should be.

We lost our Golden to bone cancer. We tried to save him-amputating his leg gave him another year with us. Or us with him.
I cried randomly for months. It was probably a year before I wasn't actively mourning. I always said we would get another dog but when we were "ready".
Then my husband went out of town and I came home on a Friday night to a puppy that my girls had picked up from someone on the side of the road. I was adamant that dog was going to the shelter on Monday.
You guessed it. By Monday, he had proven himself smart and mostly house trained. Took him a little longer to win my husband over-he still envisions himself the owner of a beautiful Golden Retreiver. Instead we have a goofy Shar Pei German Shepherd mix that is ten months old. He is smart,smart, smart-obviously as he is living in the lap of luxury instead of the shelter.
Sometimes you wait until all is perfect, sometimes puppies fall in your lap. Maybe it is just being open to what the universe has to offer. I realized I could have sent this puppy to the shelter and then waited and searched for the "perfect" dog-which might have been dumber than a stump. Instead I have a goofball that can open AND close the back door by himself. He watches Tv, digs up everything, brings in the paper and snores loudly by my bed every night.
I'd stall a little bit but be open....
Our best animals have just come to us.

A puppy can actually help you to deal with some of the emptiness. Yes, it's okay to wait...but don't wait too long.

There's something about having a dog in the house that just makes it feel more like home. And so when Bella's gone, you'll miss her. But you'll also find that your house feels less like home without a dog...and only a dog can fill that place.

It's hard to explain...but you'll recognize it when you're missing the jingle of a tag, or the click-click-click of toenails in the kitchen.

Bella would want you to have another dog. A dog's entire happy life revolves around us. They live their lives fully, with pure, unadulterated JOY. And, to Bella...I'm sure she thinks in her doggy way, "How can a home have joy with no dog in it?"

Well, right now we're about 18 months of mourning.
Before him, we had another within a month.
He didn't replace her...but he was a very happy distraction!
Good luck.

My dog was terminally ill for over a year before she passed, and I grieved a lot during that time. Several of my friends' dogs passed a bit before mine, and I noticed that once their dogs passed that they did not want to get another because of the dificulty of losing the dog and not wanting the responsibiltiy of dog ownership again. I knew that I DID want another dog and that I didn't want to focus my memories on the pain of losing my dog but on how much joy she brought me through the years. Therefore, I registered with a rescue group prior to her passing to be preliminary approved so that when the time was right after she passed that we could quickly be matched with another dog. It had nothing to do with my love for my Daisy dog, except for being a testament that she was such an awesome addition to my life that I knew I didn't want to be without a dog for long. It had nothing to do with my loyalty towards my Daisy, as I would have paid any amount of money and given any amount of care if it would have cured her. That was simply not to be.

It was less than a month between Daisy's passing and our adoption of Lily. My daughter grieved terribly, as she had not had a year to prepare for Daisy's passing. She told everyone that she met that her dog died and that she didn't have one anymore. She would see people walking their dogs and cry or beg me to stop to tell them that we would take their dog home. It got worse with time. I mourned as well, and our house felt very empty. Our new dog, Lily, makes the house less empty and makes us laugh. However, she does not stop our mourning for Daisy. Both my daughter and I still miss Daisy, but my daughter also loves our new addition. Daisy was almost 10 years old when my daughter came into our lives, so Daisy was never my daughter's dog like she was mine. Lily is far more my daughter's dog, and my daughter is liking that. Lily didn't in any way replace Daisy in our hearts, but she did remind us of the joys of pet ownership. The few weeks we waited was enough for my daughter to know that we don't just replace pets. I don't feel at all disloyal to Daisy, as I know that I loved her as much as any dog could ever have been loved and that no amount of mourning will bring her back. I still miss her terribly. My advice would be to take a some time to mourn your Bella, but don't make your kids wait a huge amount of time to love another dog. You want them to know pets are not replaceable but also to know that life continues. Keep an open heart....Bella may just send a canine friend to make you smile.

If it were me, I would want to wait for a little while. I suppose everyone mourns in their own way, though.

If you are the one the bulk of the care-taking falls to, I would insist on waiting a while before getting a new pet.

Sorry for what you are going through.

I got a dog right after my last one died, I still mourned, but I like to have a dog around, and he eased my mourning a lot

I felt I needed to wait and mourn the loss of my Callie. Everyone is different.
Personally, I would wait a bit before you jump I to anything. I know how you must be feeling. I am so sorry. It's been four years since we had to put our beautiful English Springer Spaniel down. I still cry at times. I did a tribute to her on pet.oss.com. It is there forever. I am sorry you are goi g through this.

I mourn.

Most rescues won't adopt to people right after losing a pet, for this reason. Sometimes you can rush into things you aren't ready for. Only you will know when you're ready. You may miss having a dog around, or you may feel you would unfairly compare the new dog to your beloved Bella. Wait until you feel ready.

When you do consider another dog, please consider a rescue dog.

While I think every person is different, it may be just the salve your heart
needs. It's amazing what dogs can do for the heart (and psyche).

Do what's right for you but think now about what you really want: puppy
which is ton of work or maybe a rescue from a shelter as they need all
the help and love they can get.

The new dog won't replace your dog but he/she will help fill a void w/distraction, tail wagging and unconditional love.

i'm with you. a beloved animal family member is worthy of grief, and time to honor her memory.
another dog will find her way into your hearts when it's time.
khairete
S.

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is such a difficult thing.

We put our dog down almost 5 years ago, and have yet to get a new one, simply because it is too difficult for us. I am sure it will happen, likely sooner than later, but we just aren't quite ready yet.

Hugs to you as you move forward.

I've always felt that our animals choose us. There's no right or wrong time but somehow my house feels empty without the sounds of 4 paws running in the hallway.

I am having the exact same quandary. Tomorrow, my first boy love will be laid to rest. I understand it is the best thing for him, so he will not suffer, but it does not mean that it will make it easy. I am concerned of how his sister will react, I know she will be the most heart broken of all. My husband thinks maybe we should get a puppy fairly quickly, so she can have a new little man to nurture to take her mind off loosing our boy. I understand where he is coming from, but I don't feel ready, I feel I need time to grieve. Time to get over the loss, I don't want to feel like I am just replacing him with a new model. My heart is with you.

I would give yourself time as the others said. Although sometimes healing is when a new friend comes to help it along. I think maybe your feeling alone in your thoughts of thinking the others are " replacing her"
but I would try to not look at it that way. A compainion is a compainion and it is not that your replacing her but that you are cont. to love animals and can't have a home without one. She will always be remembered and talked about in comparison to the new dog....
I think kids have a harder time with it unless they have a new one. I think a few months is not much to ask to help your mourn.

Implicit in loving is a wish for the happiness of the loved one.

If Bella could give you a message, it would probably be her hope that you are happy, even if that's without her or with another dog. So it's up to you to decide how much time you need to mourn, or when you're ready to start a new relationship. You will always have a special place in your heart for Bella.

Wishing you the best. I'm so sorry you have to lose Bella. I know how difficult that decision is. I've had some amazing dogs, cats, goats and parakeets in my life, and can still find those pangs of loss, and joy, when I think about them. And I wouldn't want to discard those memories.

S.,

First, just wanted to say how sorry I am. Been there, done that so I know the agony and grief you are feeling. I suppose everyone is different, but several years ago, my cat got hit by a car. I was SO heartbroken, but my husband went out and rescued another cat almost immediately afterwards. I was SO mad at him for doing that. I felt like I was betraying my first cat. But in retrospect, it was the BEST thing for me. I still missed my cat, but the new one really helped me grieve. When my mom's dog died of old age, we got her another one a couple of months afterward (knowing that she wouldn't get another for herself). She was mad, too! But she would also tell you that her new dog helped her through the grief. She frequently tells me that getting her that dog was the best present I have ever given her. Again, you have to do what is right for you, but I sort of feel like animals have a keen sense of what is going on. It's sort of like they "know" our grief and they "know" how to comfort us. That probably sounds crazy, but I had a dog once that would snuggle with me any time I was sad. It's like they have a window to our souls or something. Again, SO sorry you are having to go through this.

I remember when I was 14, my childhood dog died - at the time I had to way younger sisters (7 & 4) ........ my parents actually went out the next day and got another puppy :-( -- I did not bond with that dog the way my sisters did. I asked my parents at a later time why they got a new dog so fast and they said because they wanted my sisters to grow up with a dog (we have ALWAYS been a dog family) ........... As an adult, I've pretty much always had 2 dogs at a time. My 1st 2 doggies passed years ago (a few years apart from each other) ...... and, I waited until naturally I was ready for another dog. I always said "I am only going to have 1 dog" ... But after about a year of only having 1 dog I always seemed ready for another dog - and went back to having 2 dogs again. I think that if they get a new dog faster than you're ready, nothing wrong with that ....... But I just don't think you will bond with the dog as quickly or as much. I know I didn't. But when I was ready, I totally fell in love with the new puppies I brought home. And I am soooooooooooooooo sorry about your current dog. I've had to do that twice and , both times was the hardest / saddest thing I've ever had to do.

Our house did not feel the same without a dog to love so although we did go a month or two without a dog, it was because my husband wanted to wait. I would have gotten another dog much sooner-not that we didn't love the one that just had to leave us.