Dogs - Tempe,AZ

Just tell her the kids are allergic so the dog has to stay home from now on. I don't bring my best friend along on dates anyway.

"My girlfriend, who has an account on here and made me start on,grr"... Is this your way of telling her, writing on MP? You don't know if "WE" should just get rid of the dog?

It's not your dog to get rid of. You aren't a family unit - you aren't married. You don't get to call the shots where her owning a dog is concerned.

You do get to ask her kindly not to bring the dog to your house. And you ask her with kindness in her heart and in your voice.

Interesting that you have a girlfriend on this site, when you just recently asked if you should date. It feels like you communicate with your girlfriend through MP...

You've got several issues here.

Your girlfriend comes to your house with your kids when you've only been dating a month.

Your girlfriend can't leave her dog at home - he's her best friend?

You think dogs should be given up like selling a used car? After one month of dating?

You can't tell your girlfriend that your children are allergic to animals. What kind of father doesn't stand up for his kids?

You're already aggravated with Mamapedia ("grrr") but you ask for advice here. What, so she will see your post?

Date a woman for a while before you call her your girlfriend. Don't introduce your children to someone who may not be in your life in a few weeks. Tell her the dog stays home. You get a babysitter, she gets a dog crate. If you can't put your kids first, and if she can't put human beings first, this relationship is doomed.

I would let her know of the dog allergy and ask that she not bring her dog over with her when she visits. Since you've only been dating a few months and the dog is like her best friend, I doubt that she'd take too kindly to you asking her to get rid of it because of your children's allergies.

Other than that, you might limit the dog's space when he's at your house to control the pet dander that causes the allergy. To be honest, I don't think that I would give my kids meds to control an allergy from someone else's pet unless the relationship was serious and there weren't other options we wanted to consider.

Widower:

Did you not just ask about dating a few weeks ago?

If a doctor diagnosed your children as allergic to dogs - why on earth would you allow her or anyone to bring a dog into your home?

If she's not living with you? It's NOT your call to tell her to get rid of her dog. She's NOT your wife and she is NOT your partner....she is a girlfriend. You cannot MAKE her do anything. And if you just started dating her? There is no reason she should be introduced to your children yet! DUDE!!

If your children have allergies - I do not understand why he/she has not recommended an allergy medication - Zyrtec or Claritin? Something you can purchase over the counter (OTC).

As to your "girlfriend" forcing or making you open an account? I call "BS" - seriously - NO ONE can MAKE you do anything. You are a grown man - supposedly - and can make decisions for yourself, supposedly. Why not start acting like a man and make decisions on your own? Stop making excuses or blaming someone else and take responsibility on your own.

What should you do?
Your girlfriend SHOULD NOT be meeting your children.
You CANNOT MAKE her girlfriend get rid of HER dog.
You should make your kids your priority - if you really are a widower.

Good luck. You need it.

that's the sort of suggestion that might make it really easy to get rid of your girlfriend.
why not start with asking her to stop bringing the dog over? your kids' allergies are a much bigger issue than doggie visits. i'm sure she'll have no problem with that. since the dog isn't living with you, that should take care of it.
'we' shouldn't be deciding to get rid of the dog. you're just dating. you can ask that the dog be kept from your kids, but that's it.
khairete
S.

OK, you just asked about dating in March. That is NOT a few months!! She shouldn't even know your kids, in my opinion. If they "want" a mom, the last thing they need is women in and out of their lives.

I am going though a dilemma with my dog right now, and it's very sad and painful. It's very difficult. You can't ask someone to get rid of a dog, for allergies!! That is crazy. She will get rid of you. Ask her not bring the dog. And STOP introducing your children to strangers!! Anyone who can;t leave a dog at home, has a level of maintenance I wouldn't want to deal with. You need a better plan, before you start dating. Your kids are going to end up being really hurt.

Personally, as a woman who has dogs (and cats) I would not get rid of my pets because someone I had just started dating had kids who happened to be allergic. It is too soon to be having expectations like that and you don't know where this relationship will be going. You could let her know about the kids' allergies, and that you will need her to keep the dog at her place when she comes over so that it does not affect your kids. You can also see how the allergy meds work for your kids. Having the dog bathed weekly to rinse off dander and keeping the bedrooms off-limits to the dog can help too.

ETA: Also, I don't agree with your GF coming over where your kids are when you've only been dating for LESS THAN A MONTH. Wrong-o mister.

Original: Give the dog a bath in baby shampoo and see if that reduces their allergies. And find out if they can get a prescription for their allergies. The problem isn't the dog, it's the allergies. And allergies CAN be cured.

No, you cannot tell her to get rid of her best friend/dog. That's cruel. If my man (when we were dating before we were engaged) had told me I had to get rid of my cat because of his allergies, I'd tell him "sorry, I guess it's not going to work out." My cat is family and has been around for years. I'm a cat person and plan to have other cats in my life. Your GF is a dog person....and you're going to tell her she can never have another dog? Pbbbt. No.

Her dog is family. You've been around a few months. So see if you can help their allergy, or find a different woman to date.

On May 12 you posted a question about dating again. So you have only been dating this woman a few weeks at most. I am pretty sure she would not get rid of her dog because you ask her to. You could simply ask her not to bring her dog to your house since your kids are allergic.
Not that you ask but do you really think it is a good idea to have your girlfriend around your kids before you really even know her. You could really be setting your kids up for a big disappointment if things don't work out.

Urg. I smell something fishy.
Are you a troll?
We've had other moms here create a "dad" account...
This doesn't add up.
You cannot "make" anyone do anything.
Request. Suggest. Sure.
"Make"? Nope.
Good luck.

You have only been dating a few months. Why would she get rid of her pet/friend/fur baby for you? It's only been a few months!!
I would just talk with her about her not bringing the dog to your house since your children are allergic. Then she knows that if there was to be some kind of future with you that the dog would have to go or become an outdoor dog!
L.

Your kids are allergic to dogs and your girlfriend's dog lives elsewhere. I'd expect that she would leave the dog at home when she came to visit you and your children.

I know it's difficult to give up a pet. I'd perhaps find a way to manage while keeping it but at present it has another house/apartment to live in. I'd have it stay there until you get your children's allergies under control. Do deep cleaning to get rid of the hair and dander. If advised to do so by the allergist, try medications.

Make a plan to have the dog in a limited space, once the allergies are under control. Keep him out of the bedrooms, for example. If possible make him an outdoor dog with a fenced yard or a dog run and only have him in sometimes. Get rid of carpets so that the floors can be kept mostly free of hair and dander.

How severe are your children's symptoms? If severe, I would find it difficult to find another home for the dog but I would do so to keep the kids healthy.

Can she leave her dog at home? Or if she's spending a lot of time w/you
at your house, how about keeping the dog outside in good weather.
Or just vacuum & dust a lot.

I have been allergic to dogs my whole life & I've had dogs as pets since
I was little. I just make sure to wash my hands after petting them.

In addition to that, I vacuum constantly. Keep their dog beds outside.

It can be managed. She shouldn't have to give her dog away (especially
since you're just dating & it's only been a few months.

You can take all kinds of measures to help w/the allergies.

My daughter is allergic to dogs (among many other things!) as am I -- and we have two dogs.

Our dogs don't go in her bedroom and are NOT allowed on the furniture anywhere in the house ("four on the floor" is our house rule). Allergy medications help (claritin every day for me; ALlegra in the morning & Zyrtec at night for her). Vacuum regularly. Allergies can be managed, usually.

A lot of allergies come from pet dander, that we found pretty hard to control. We ended up having to get rid of our oldest daughter's cat,which was much against her efforts to find a good home for her baby sister who was free to a good home & came w/a college education.

Your best bet is to find out specifically how the allergies can be treated and go from there. Best of luck!

No. Kids can get used to being around animals they're allergic to. I am highly allergic to cats. Hubby's allergy to cats is off the charts. His was done at OU Health Science Center so I highly trust his results.

If I touch a cat then rub my eyes I have swollen crusty eyes within just a few minutes. I have had to go to the ER for a steroid shot and worn eye patches for a day or two in the past. If I touch my face after petting a cat I will get hive like itching in that area until I go shower or wipe that area off with a wet wash cloth.

We have a cat. We don't have runny nose or sneezing anymore. Our bodies just got used to the animals being around. My daughter comes to visit and lives on Benadryl. She stays away from cats like they were the plague. She suffers from her allergies more than we do.

Talk to the allergist and see if the girls are candidates to do allergy shots. I was not. The allergy doc was too afraid to give them to me since I made huge blisters on my arms and then later on my back when they did the skin test for 80_+ allergens.

She can also bathe them before they come over. It's often the dander in their hair that we're allergic to. She can talk to her vet to see if there is a better shampoo she can use that will eliminate more dander.

There are many things you can do to work this out. IF the girls have a more serious reaction to the animals then of course the dogs can't come.

But if it's a manageable allergy and one they can outgrow with exposure to the allergen then this allergy becomes one that you don't have to worry about.

You have only been dating a few months. You have no right to tell her to get rid of her dog. You CAN say, "My kids are allergic to dogs. This is new information for me. Can you please leave your dog at home when you visit?" You and she will also have to understand that you visiting her will have to be limited to places other than her home when the children are with you.

You also need time to figure out how allergic they are. Can they take Claratin and go over or are they incredibly miserable within moments? I have friends who are all levels of allergic to our cats. Some never come in our home. We go out to hang out with them. And some can take Claratin or similar and hang out for a few hours. Getting rid of the dog, even if SHE chooses to, is premature. You really need to wait for more information and remember that your GF is an adult and her home is not yours.

If she is unwilling to leave her dog home, then that tells you more about the relationship.