"Don't Cut up My Food"!

She probably is trying to be independent and trying to have some control over the whole food thing. My daughter is the same age and sometimes has gotten upset about the same things. Here is what I did:

Does not like things cut up? Ask her what she wants and give her choices: Do you want the sandwhich cut in pieces or whole? 2 pieces or 4 pieces? Triangles or squares? If it's something that I had to cut up because of a choking hazard, I told DD it had to be cut into pieces to be safer to eat - end of story. Sometimes they just can't grasp the concept that it's the same, even when something's been done to it.

Save food in the fridge if you have to - then pitch it out later after she's gone to bed.

Don't have her eat anything animal-shaped - she does not need to eat Goldfish or animal crackers.

Accept it as a phase, but don't let the crying go on for so long - I let my daughter get upset about stuff but if she decides to go on and on about it after I've said "okay, that's enough", she gets sent to her room to carry on in private. She needs to learn she won't get any attention for throwing a fit.

I think this is pretty typical three year old behavior, (really 2-4 years). It is a matter of wanting to be in control of things. Give her more choices where you can - i.e., don't cut her sandwich or ask her how she wants it cut. Clearly sometime you have to do things, like throw away old food. But put the ball in her court as much as possible. She is old enough to clear the table - i.e., let her throw away her own muffin or put it in a tupperware container in the fridge. When there is no alternative (like her ice cream cone falls on the floor), you just need to manage her emotions through discussion and distraction.

The animal shaped food? Well, I don't have the faintest idea what to suggest! I guess this falls in the category of: I know it's hard, but she needs to make some decisions for herself. So remind her, of course, she will not hurt the animals, but don't coddle her by offering alternatives. She will figure out the risk-reward situation there soon enough.

Three year olds are little control freaks. Let her be in charge of herself as much as possible. It will help her feel pride in herself - eventually. Food is just an easy and regular part of her life in which she is expressing herself.

If you're truly concerned, just put a call in to your pediatrician. But I think it sounds really normal for her age. I think like you said it's part of becoming an independent person...my son is exactly like this at 4 (started at 3 though) - but it's not just about food. If he wanted to open the door and didn't get to, if he wanted to be first down the stairs and wasn't, if he wanted to close the garage door and someone else did, etc. and he's also a little hungry or tired, he can melt into tears about these things. I love so many things about his current age, but I won't be sad to see that phase go! Hang in there I think she sounds great. That's really sweet about the animal shapes too...I think I'd hold off on telling her where her breakfast sausage and hamburger comes from though!

Yup, this is pretty darn normal. I agree with giving choices. You have to get used to it, but once you're on a roll it really will make your life (and hers) easier and happier! I always ask my daughter if she wants her sandwich cut in 2 pieces or 4. Sometimes she says she doesn't want it cut at all and I say, oh that wasn't an option so do you want to choose or should I? Then she usually chooses. In the isntances that she doesn't choose I choose for her and she has to live with it. At the beginning there was a lot of crying when I chose, but now she's used to it, it goes much smoother. She might cry or fuss for a minute but she knows that's it, so she usually eats or whatever the situation is. I also agree with having her choose to save the muffin or throw it out, she can be responsible for that. If you want it thrown away then just simply say do you want to throw it out or do you want me to do it? Then make it happen. The key to choices is not to ever give a choice you are not okay with, b/c inevitably, that is what she will choose. So always offer two things that make you happy and it will work out, as long as you make it clear that if she doesn't choose you will...and you have to stick to it.

I seriously offer choices with just about everything. Which plate this or this, would you like to go inside in 2 minutes or 5 minutes, are you wearing your flip flops or crocs today....you name it, I've said it! ;) Try it, it works!

I'd humor her, distract her, ask her before you cut or don't cut something, etc. If you have the means, make her a new sandwich, and save the cut one for someone else.
Don't comment on it as though it's a problem or ask her too much about it, just help her have happier eating. I bet this fades. She may always be particular about her food, but she won't always be 3 and will be better able to handle disappointment, plus making sure her food is as she likes it, when she's older.
At a time when she's calm, you could also talk about what to do when you're upset--deep breathing, walking, etc.

And you can lightly mention that it's nice to say no thanks to a "wrong food"--not to yell about it. A funny way I've heard it put is, "fewer people will be willing to marry you" if you scream every time someone cuts your sandwich wrong. Or as I say to my toddler, it's ok to be bummed, not ok to scream at the drive-thru guy for giving you the wrong happy meal toy. :)

I think it is a phase. When our 3 year old started this we simply started asking if he wanted his sandwich cut, if he wanted his plate cleared, etc. I think they want to feel a sense of control. It works well with my son to let him decide in appropriate circumstances.

Several of our kids went through tat phase. I don't remember what age they were. I have several grandkids that went through that stage where they didn't want their sandwich cut in half or cried when it was cut diagonal instead of square. If you don't cater to it it will go away. If you do cater to it, it will last much, much longer.

Good luck to you and yours

Wow, I'd almost forgotten this phase! My daughter is 7 now, but what you're describing is SUCH a 3-year-old thing. I used to cut up my dtr's PB&J into strips when she was 2, and then she started requesting squares at 3. Well, my husband apparently didn't get that memo! I'm a SAH mom, so I was always aware of these little preferences, but my husband made her lunch one day and innocently cut it into strips. He put it in front of her and she cried like a beloved pet had died!!

I don't think there's anything "wrong" with your child. :-) All these wacky preferences are part of (I think) all the adjustments that come with transitioning from toddler to preschooler.

Hang in there!