Down in the Dumps - Lewisville,TX

Congratulations on your new home! That's so exciting. Wont it be great to have your own space again!

I have had 3 kids and I had a very noticeable drop in libido after each one. I couldn't have been less interested. It wasn't just the exhaustion. It's a hormonal thing. So, don't be hard on yourself for that one. Do what you can to fulfill your wifely duties for now. It WILL come back! I promise. Even though it feels like it never will. My indifferance lasted over a year each time, but that could be because I breastfed over a year also. I'm right as rain now! :)

Hair loss is also natural after having a baby, but it sounds like yours is a bit more than that? I have a good friend that lost a lot of hair from stress. I could see her scalp too. Now a yr later, she's got a full head of hair. I asked her what advice she could give you. She said she takes B-12 and a B Vitamin Stress Complex. She said to tell you to get the capsule, not the horsepills. Apparently your body doesn't break those down all the way. She also uses the Walmart brand of womens Rogains - Monoxidyl or something. She said it's $18 for a 3 month supply.

St. John' Wort is a natural antidepressant. It takes a few weeks to feel the effect, but it's worth a try. Also, exercise is a great stress reducer, so maybe even a nice walk after supper or very early in the morning would help. Depression kills your sex drive, so deal with that first and see if the other doesn't come along naturally. Being in your own home again will help, too. Good luck.

Are you doing anything for yourself? something as little as taking a bath with a good book, going for a walk alone to encourage your mind.

I cannot say I went through some of that, but I did move a couple of times when my children were little and it was very stressful. Plus being at in laws means that you are probably keeping mum on your feelings, thoughts, etc. unless you are so comfortable in their home that it isn't necessary. I'm not clear why you wouldn't want to get some shots to help you get hair back if that is a self esteem issue and it doesn't look like it could hurt your libido. My libido is currently out of wack, possible forever due to age and surgery but I do the hoochiie coochie with hubby and it actually perks me up despite the lack of raging hormones anymore. I do miss that sometimes. But it all still works. Yes, you probably do have a good marriage. So that isn't a worry. As far as no meds, the best then is to step up all the exercise you can, fruits, veggies etc. and try to have a positive outlook on life. I am sure things will change after you move, however if not and you have tried these other things, (like cauliflower!!) then you might reconsider the meds.

Hi J.
I sorry but I have not gone threw the things you have. But I am happy to TRY to help in any kind of way to lift your spirits!! I am not really sure what Alopecia is.....

Has far as you losing hair have you tried to ware a wig? There are REALY cute ones you can by and they DON'T look fake. And they don't cost that much. Look in the phone book under wig shops and or call some salons they may have some or guide you to a place that sell them. And MAYBE you will feel refreshed and SEXY or what not!!!

I was wondering is your hubby there to support you threw this? If so ask him to help you think of different things together like go for walks or bike riding away from the in-laws so this way you can talk out things in pirvate. In the past my hubby & I would take walks if there is something that we had to talk about but didn't want our girls to here or if it may get heated!! This kind of works so we don't YELL or SCREAM so everyone in the world can here our biz. And things got solved. It acted like are REF...... Do you know what I mean?..

Lately I too have been threw alot a self esteem issues because, I was told that i can't work, can't drive, can't do lawn work, can't smoke or anything to stressful " WELL HELLO WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO AND NOT GET STRESSED???", do to my illness or I can and will have a relasp. I have Hemipalegic Migrains. ( This acts like I had a stroke it took my left side of my body) I am still in rehab and just rescently I have been able to go for walks but I still have to have someone with me. Because I can still get tremors in my left foot and leg. I was unable to walk and NOW I CAN!!! I stay possative and focused and that is what you need to do! Plus my husband is a GREAT SUPPORT!!

I try to do things to get my mind off of what I can't do and focus on the things I can!!!! I have notice for myself if I don't put my make up on in the morning I feel tired the rest of the day and my esteem SUCKS!! Even if I don't go anywhere I need to to do that to keep MY SPIRITS UP!!
Everyday has been a challenge for me and I am getting threw this as you will too!!! Just know there are people here for you.
Take Care Cuz I Care.
C. C.

Hi J.,
I am so glad you post, I love this kind of websites because it allows to let it all.
I am very sorry you have been through so much in such a small amount of time, but very happy that you are going to get your house soon. I think that should help a little, I hope all the other sad things you are going throught don't stop you from appreciate and enjoy the fact that you have a house, many people don't include me : (
I think we woman see sex different then men, not only we have this hormones but most of us need to have peace of mind to enjoy it or even think about enjoy. The good think we have is that we can fake, they (men) can't really fake it, I mean, how they could say they enjoy if you know what is not up. Perhaps when you have your own home and other of the problems get resolve you should just do it. Yes, one day just do it even if you don't feel like it, what are the odds that once you start you enjoy it! It doesn't hurt to try. I would talk to your husband about this matter, I don't know if you are concern about his feelings, which probably cause you more stress, and once you talk each other about other you may found out that he understand and that he is not expecting nothing right now besides affection and kisses, or if he does him knowing what is going on is better then just thinking you don't found him attractive or care. I keep telling my husband: "One of this days I will get you, just don't know when because I am to tired...but be ready one of this days, lol".
I look in Wikipedia, I LOVE WIKIPEDIA, about alopecia, so I could help you in that matter, I didn't found anything about home remedies but they did talk about Minoxidil (aka Rogaine and all of those) it does say that it does work, a little but it does, however stop working if you stop using them. Also I read that the condition may stop and hair could grow back and that stress it could be a unknow factor for the hair lost.
I have been through a lot of stress and I have lost some hair and getting TONS of grays, and I found out that is true, stress is our enemy, not only for hair but wrinkles and healthy issues.
y advice after all this post, is:
-Keep posting, talk, talk, talk, let it all out, not only you are making you a favor to let out some of that stress you make me feel better because I learn about new things and I feel great to help others and maybe we (you, me and all the other momis in here can figurate something or at least cry/laugh together.
-Keep your self busy, I am not talking about house shore, kids stuff busy, but things for you. I would read, read, read all about alopecia, to learn more, found out new remedies and even help other people that are going through the same.
-Keep comunication open with your hubby, we ALL fight, but don't let this stop you from comunicate. Try every once in a while to have sex just because, you may get a good surprise one day, and if not, oh well, you will try later.
-Be kind to your self, you just have a baby, sold your house, work with what you can (add a little more miles in those walks and show those beautiful legs, are you breastfeeding, wear a nice top to show those new girls you got) I will tell you, if I am wearing a tight shirt (I became 34DD after baby 2) my husband wouldn't even notice if I color my hair!
-Be grateful, I am ashame to tell you all we lost in a year, but every time I feel bad about it I think in when I didn't have where to live and I am soo thankful for anything.
Hope see your posting soon

I am right there with you sister! I have postpartum after my first and now after my second (born in Dec '09). I suffer from Hypothyroidism which is also out of whack again due to having a baby. I am 28 and have been married 7 years and my husband and I are definitely going through a lack-luster time. Thankfully for me my sister is an accupuncturist and she plus her friend who is able to prosecribe herbal remedies have really made a difference for me.

I took Zoloft but went off it due to the horrible side effects (headaches, nausea, muscle aches, lack of libido, stomach problems etc). I have fallen back a bit but the accupuncture and herbs have really helped and they have no side effects. I can also tell that my thryoid is off again so I had bloodwork done and sure enough they want to see me (I go tomorrow) so that will help too as depression and dry, falling out hair are symptoms of a slow thyroid.

My husband and I also went away together for our anniversary and that really helped but I was so zombified on the Zoloft I was barely interested in intimacy. We just really try to communicate with one another and stay positive. The young years of your kids' lives are really tough on a marriage because you are stretched so thin and there is no energy or time or interest in romance.

Take time to do something for each other, for yourself, and try some natural treatments. Also, GET YOUR THYROID CHECKED!

.

I agree with Cherie, you need to do something for yourself.

Find a cute ball cap or nice scarf for your hair, fix yourself up a bit, just stroll through the mall window shopping, go to the bookstore and read, go have coffee somewhere. Just do something for YOU and only YOU.

Make sure you continue to do at least a little something everyday.

Have you tried Nioxin shampoo and conditioner yet? It's recommended for cancer patients to help them grow their hair back. Not sure if this will work for your condition but may be worth a try. I have really fine hair and it did thin out a bit after my children were born and this shampoo and conditioner did help.

Here are a couple of links that I have found that discuss natural treatments for alopecia:

http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/herbsvitaminsek/a/Alopeci...
http://www.greathomeremedies.com/alopecia.html

If you decide that you want to take supplements to try to treat your alopecia, then I do want to caution you that not all supplements are made the same. Some contain a lot of fillers so that you are not getting the same bang for your buck, so to speak. I usually purchase my supplements from Whole Foods Market or Sunflower Market and haven't had any problems with them. Also, remember that you can get your Vitamin A, Vitamin E and the like from the foods that you eat and that really is the best way to nourish your body.

I hope this helps. Hang in there and just know that things can and do change and this too shall pass.

Hey,
I do get what you are saying. For me it was my hormones and my OB would not really address it due to being in late 20's. I found Dr. Chalmers in Frisco and he has helped give me my spunk back. I can not say enough amazing things about this office. He is totally holistic and will be able to help you for sure.

http://chalmerswellness.com