Hi, M.!
I know that you are worried and likely very frustrated and concerned by the repeated ear infections. It's hard to see your loved ones, especially our little ones feeling ill and not at their best!
I am a mom of 3--a boy and 2 girls. They are 5, 7 and 9 now. Some kids are more vulnerable to ear infections for various reasons. My middle child had the tendency more than the other two. Any time she got congestion, whether from food sensitivity, teething or an actual virus, it would settle in the outer ear and cause her to have ear pain, etc. She only had one "official" ear infection.
Bear with me here---It is a common issue among our (American) children, and I have heard evidence that many pediatricians are over-prescribing antibiotics. It is very important to find one who has as holisitic an approach as possible. In fact, M.D.s are not required to know much about nutrition unless they choose to specialize or pursue that knowledge themelves. Unfortunately, many of them are responding to the public's desire for a quick fix in a pill rather than the tried and true and more advisable approach of "preventative medicine" through diet, etc. We see a naturopath--a practitioner certified and trained in natural methods of treating and balancing the body--i.e."health".
The first thing I would check is what your daughter is eating. If she has sensitivities or outright allergies to any of the foods she is eating, it can cause imbalance in her system resulting in immune responses, deficiency, etc. Sometimes the solution can be as simple as removing cow's milk products from the diet. It is important not to overlook the fact that not treating an actual ear infection can result in damage to her ears/hearing. It is equally important to be sure that the antibiotics are only used when necessary. Many people are unaware that a course of antibiotics kills BOTH the good and bad bacteria in the body, so it is ESSENTIAL to replace the "good bacteria" in the digestive tract by using a high quality acidophilus supplement (ask at your local health store) following antibiotics. Some M.D.s recommend this but not many in my experience. The fact that your daughter's poop is burning her bottom is a reflection of what is happening in her digestive tract. Things will only get worse if you don't take steps to get her back into balance. I hope this doesn't come across as "new age", because it isn't. It is really something that everyone should be taught regarding nutrition and the body (the gut needs "good bacteria" to work properly).
You are right to ask these questions. It sounds like you've lost confidence in your doctor. I would recommend finding one with a more balanced approach. You have already seen that once you get on the prescription cycle, it can be a vicious one! It is sometimes necessary to take antibiotics but not always (as you noted). Don't give up; you are on the right track with trying to fit the pieces of the puzzle together! Hang in there...
Incidentally, treatment will depend on the cause. For example, if it is due to congestion that her body cannot remove quickly enough before bacteria breed in the ear and cause infection, then removing the source of the congestion (cow's milk?, etc.) will prevent the ear infection in the first place. We have used Hyland's ear tablets and Similisan homeopathic drops to treat ear pain. We have used Clenzology (available at health food stores) ear drops to help prevent issues with ear blockage, though my daughter has never had a big problem with lots of wax anyway. We have also "candled" her ears a few times, which she will now ask for, because it has helped so much in the past. Ear candles can be found at any health food store. Some will even charge a small fee and do it for you, or they can provide the name of a health care provider who could.
Best wishes. I hope your daughter is well soon!