Emotional Son

The school isn't going to let you change classes so he has friends, so don't make the effort. Do say something to his teacher about the problems he had with the girl. Don't complain or make her out to be a horror, just mention that he was very upset with the way she was allowed to treat him over the summer and you would like them to keep an eye on her so she leaves him alone.
Good Luck!

If possible mention the girl and the situation to the teacher but chances are if this girl is like this with a lot of people, teachers are already aware...but u never know.....encourage your son to make new friends and tell him that people who are mean to others do so because they have low self esteem and actually need friends..(ok as adults we know that some people are simply mean for the sake of being mean but kids dont need to know all of that)is it possible for him to play with his other friends either at recess or even after school and on weekends....let your son know how proud of him you are and let him tell you about his day..the good n the bad. I know with my kids sometimes they just need to talk about something to feel better. And always remember that even if stuff doesnt seem like a big deal to you...it can be to a child......to me it seems like the child whose mother should be asking for advice is the one who has the girl who makes fun of people for being different....all 6 year olds pronounce some things incorrectly...he shouldnt be made to feel less of a decent child at someones expense....i wish you guys the best!!

I have 4 children - ages 21, 19, 14, and 6 so I have been through this many times! In this case, the teacher is absolutely right. Your son will adjust to this new classroom and make new friends. You should always leave him with a big hug and a smile and assure him that you will be there for him at the end of the day and then go! I would also reccommend that you volunteer in the classroom at least once a week. Teachers always can use the extra help. I did this for all of my children. It will be something that you and your son will look forward to each week. Remember, your son will feed off of your emotions so try be happy and positive!

I know this is very hard. Talking to the little girl is a bad idea. She is learning her behavior mostly from her parent. This might aslo make her pick on your son even more. Ask to have her kept sitting far from your son. Talk to the teacher or principal. Most schools also have counselors on staff. Speak with that person about your son, also you may want to talk your doctor. If you keep him around all his friends he had before he will not get to experience new friends. Once he gets use to the change I'm sure he will settle right in. I wish you the best, T.

Letting go is so hard! My daughter just started first grade as well and I think that it was harder on me than her! I think that it is reasonable to voice your concerns to his teacher, but don't expect them to change his classroom. My daughter only knew one little boy from last year, but given time she has started to make new friends. It is so painful when they come home and tell you that they have had a rough day, or no one will play with them, but I do think that sometimes things are a bit eggagerated. This was the first year my daughter is riding on the bus, which is a big adjustment for both of us, but it is going well. If this is the first real experience that your son has had away from you, other than Kindergarten, this may take a while. Try to be patient, listen to his concerns, but remain positive about school. If this little girl causes problems, tell him to ignore her, but if she is "bullying" him he needs to tell the teacher. This should not be tolerated. Our elementary school has a strict policy on this, as I believe most schools do. Hang in there, I really think that most kids are usually fine after we (moms) leave them, but they do tend to put on a real display for us sometimes!

take a deep breath hun. we all hate seeing our children upset esp when we are leaving and cant be there to hold them. however working in day care for many years i know that the tears last 3-7 mins tops! i would talk to the teacher and let her know that your child had a problem with this girl that way she can just kind of be on the look out if you know what i mean..is he in public school?? any way he could go to private. smaller classes and the education is a lot better if you ask me... or even home school i was home schooled also and loved it if you do that tho you just have to make sure you get involved in a play group so he has interaction with his friends... good luck!

First of all, I understand your emotions, we all want to protect and make the world better for our children. However you can not always make things better for him, he has to figure out on his own (and yes even at age 6) how to handle things, he won't always be in classes with his best friends, he will have to learn to make new best friends. I would mention the girl to the teacher, but I would not ask for him to be moved. If his emotional behaviors continue, I know you don't want to hear this, none of us do, you might consider contacting the schools counselor/social worker. There might be some school anxieties that need to be dealt with. But as for now, tell the teacher about the girl, see if you can set up and award system for having good days (not food) and reinforce that school is fun, and ask him about his day (one easy way to get kids to talk about school is to ask what they didn't like first and then say "well, that was bad, what happened that was good?" It is okay to be nervous and upset when you are young, some kids take longer to adjust, but don't fix things for him, let him work it out. If it doesn't get better, then take those extra steps by talking to the school. Relax, he will get through this, your job as the mom is to be there to comfort him when he comes home, let him know that everything is good, but let him find his own way to handle this.
cheer up, it will only get better!!!

Hi M.,
I don't have a ton of advice for you, but I can totally relate to your problem. My son is 8 years old now. He is one of the most emotional kids I have ever known boy or girl. He cries a LOT. I think he cries more than all my other kids combined and he is very sensitive to everything said to him. It's emotionally draining sometimes and I feel angry and want to tell him to just knock it off, but at the same time, I know he can't help it sometimes. I have tried yelling, having long talks, trying to understand. I have gotten so upset about it at times. I just want to cry myself because I can't seem to make it any better. I was the same way as a child I guess. I feel very defensive when it comes to him. We recently moved to Beech Grove and he met a little boy who lives across the street. My other kids were telling me that the other boy is sometimes mean to him when he cries and there was this part of me that wanted to go out there and yell at the boy, but another part of me thinks maybe it could be a positive thing because my son will see that other kids don't behave this way and may pick on him about it. I don't know. I hope it works out for you. I can truly relate to your problem. I say let your son give this new class a chance and maybe he will make some new friends in time. If you see he is still miserable over a period of time, then take him out and get him into the other class room. Good luck! You're not alone. *hugs*

awwwww So sorry to hear what you're going through. Please know you are not alone. Mother's go through this every day. Actually it is quite normal. I went through this with one of my sons as well as witnessed it happening regularly, as I was a Head Start teacher. When your sons teacher told you it's better to drop your son off and leave...I'm affraid she is right. Your son has to get used to the idea that he must go to school. You are not being mean in any way by doing so. He is just learning that his extreme attachment to you will still be there...he just has to go away for a bit. The longer you hang around him...the worse it will be for him and you. Your best bet is when you drop him off, give him a hug, tell him you love him, and will be right there after school. Then you must make a quick exit. You can't show him in any way that you are upset because this will worsen what he is feeling. I would go talk to the counselor at his school. They can explain to you the attachement he has to you and how normal his actions are. I guarantee you that 10 minutes after you leave, he's doing just fine. He has to do this honey. He has to learn how to socialize as part of his development. It's hard on some little ones but it's something they have to conquer. As far as the mean person in his class...by all means discuss it with his teacher and the principal. If more children who are possible bullies where caught young, and shown that it's not appropriate conduct, we wouldn't have all the meanness we have in high school. The school counselors can help you with this too. Just know that you are not alone in these matters. I'm on a first name basis with my sons counselors, and call her every chance I get if even just to say hi. Yes, letting go so-to-speak tugs at our heart strings, and rips it out...but the reward of your child becoming a well educated funtioning member of society is what you and he are working for. Good luck to you hon...and to your son!!!

At some point in time you do have to let them go. I do agree with the teacher in this situation. I had to deal with it when my son was 4 and going to preschool. He did not want me to leave him every morning and we went through this for about two weeks and occassionally after that. He is in kindergarten this year and all is well. I drop him off at school with no problems. I understand about having a sensitive child. MY child is sensitive too. He doesn't play rough and tumble like other boys and he doesn't seem very interested in sports. He likes art and more imaginative stuff. He loves super heroes.
About trying to switch his classroom. Are you going to ask that he switch classrooms every year? He needs to meet new friends and chances are throughout elementary school he won't get to be in class with his friends. I would leave him in the class and encourage him to meet new friends. As far as the girl that is giving him problems I would definitely talk to the teacher about this. MY son is in speech therapy for stuttering. We had an instance last year where a girl in his class told him that he talked funny. I talked to the teacher and she talked to the girl and the girl's mother. Problem was solved. We never had an issue again. Believe me, even though I think you should leave him in his class and give him some tough love, I do feel your pain. My son is at a private school right now because I'm not ready to send him to public school and for him to deal with the other kids and his stuttering issues. I'm hoping that the speech therapy will remedy this. In the meantime I'm paying $300 a month for him to go to private school. I'm sure we'll go through this again when we send him to public school with him being scared and all, but I can't let him live a sheltered life forever.

I was the same way when my daughter started school. She had problems with Kindergarten, and then we moved and she had to start from scratch all over. She had a rough couple of first days and then things turned around for her. She met lots of new people and enjoyed the rest of her first grade. Now she is in second grade and of course with new kids. She was not happy about that, but she has been in school for 7 days now and has a whole new group of friends that she can add to those from first grade that she still sees at recess, etc. Kids need social networks just like adults. If you shelter your son any more than you already have, how will he be able to have a full life and experience new cultures, ideas, etc.? Just a thought to keep in mind, you are probably having more of a problem with this than he is. If after a few weeks, things are bad, then talk to the teacher first. If nothing improves and things continue bad, then consider transferring him to another class. He is going to have to face peer pressure sooner or later and dealing with it now will help him later in life when it happens again because we were all there and know that it does happen again.