Energy Drain Chore List Almost 5 Year Old

I'm a little confused: why are they doing chores because they forgot their coats? I thought the consequence (at least, in this case) was that they couldn't go do the fun stuff and had to stay home.

Please take the advice as it was meant, without judgment (because I have made a lot of mistakes along the way too :) ) : I think you really have to pick your priorities sometimes. Had I been in your position, here are a couple of options I would have used:

1. I would have decided what was most important to me as soon as they were digging their heels in: do I want to teach the lesson *today* (because there will be other days ahead!) or do I want to wrap gifts?

2. If I wanted to teach the lesson, then I would let the lesson stand: you didn't wear your coats? Now it's too cold and you can't go? Wow, that's too bad, huh?

3 If I really wanted the kids to go, with their coats, I might have suggested (as I do with my son) ... "Go outside for a few minutes and see what the air feels like. Think about what you need to stay warm." Sometimes, kids need to experience this, and it's a kind way to give them a chance to correct their mistake before it happens.

3. OR you could have sent the coats with the adults.

I realize the kids are probably in bed now, but just wanted to offer a different way of thinking about these moments. For what it's worth, when I have plans and my son (5) does something which could potentially throw a wrench in the gears, the consequence is usually to calmly tell him "you know, I had already planned to get X done right now, so you will need to play by yourself for a while, I have things to do." This would be, perhaps, when he doesn't get it together in time to go on an outing with his father.... it happens occasionally that he doesn't get dressed quickly or doesn't take care of his responsibilities.... not getting me to play with is plenty of consequence.

Good luck next time. And if I think of any household chores to wear out a busy five year old, I'll let you know. Still hoping for those myself!

Google - chore lists - for the ages of your kids - there might be a bunch you haven't thought of.

Here's another option for the coat thing - my interpretation of Love and Logic in this situation is the kids say they don't need the coats. Bro and parents carry the coats "just in case" and they all go out the door. Kids get REALLY cold and learn that they need to trust the adults when they say they need the coats. Natural consequences. Your way worked too, but it screwed up your plans. Love and logic is tough sometimes in terms of figuring out how best to let natural consequences do the teaching. Sometimes we still try to punish instead of letting the ACTUAL consequences (cold) do the teaching.

All of the things you list can work, including vacuuming and sweeping, dusting and wiping down the counters, stuff like that.

~I am sure I could list more but honestly, I am still stuck on the fact that you have a 5 and 3 year old that you can not get to listen to you or rather that you allow them to just disobey you when you tell them to do something...like put on your coat. I do not understand this...at all. Sorry. I know we all parent differently though, and I am trying really hard not to judge you and the way you have chosen and the path that you are on, I just do not get it. You willingly let them ruin all your plans for the night and theirs over something as simple as telling them they must wear their coats? If they will not listen to you about something as trivial as wearing a coat to go do something fun, I can't imagine what a day at your house is like. I am sure you will get better answers than mine and I didn't mean to sound so negative, I am just really, truly baffled by this post.

Chores should never be a consequence or punishment. Chores are a necessary duty to keep your house and yard nice. It is a privilige to have a home, many poeple do not have a home. Keeping your home and yard nice is just something you have to do.

Hmmmm. You use Love and Logic but you want to know of energy draining chores to throw at your kids as consequences for misbehavior? That's not Love and Logic. In Love and Logic you have the consequences fit the misbehavior as you did with the coats situation. I still have difficulty coming up with an immediate logical consequence at times. When that happens I tell my grandkids I need to think for a minute and literally stop and think. Sometimes I have to use non-logical consequences. Perhaps there's where your chores come in?

I've gotten my grandkids to put on their coats from toddler age to now (they're 9 and 12) by just standing at the door with them and their coats and saying we aren't leaving until you put on your coats. I have much more staying ability than they do. I try very hard to not punish myself when disciplining my grandkids.

I remember from reading that book that letting your child go out without the coat and be cold is the logical consequence that they recommend. It's the one that they remember next time you ask them to wear their coat. The other day my 3 year old would not put his shoes on so he walked a block with no shoes it the rain- his feet got cold! You also don't pick consequences that negatively affect you! I bet you were really looking forward to that time off! Not wanting to wear a coat is a VERY common scenario for young children. My kids do it all the time. I usually try to pick my battles and carry the coat until they realize they are cold. I know none of this helps right now, and you are not really asking someone to tell you how you should of handled differently. Best of luck to you- I have a 3 and 6 and know how hard it is sometimes.

Bucket of soap and water and sponges and have her wash the walls--scrub the baseboards and get the door knobs sanitized etc.

I find that my kids do a really good job and they are also calmed by it because it is relaxing as well as hard work.

Empty silverware and put in drawer
fold laundry
organize your sock or underwear drawer
clean the toilet and around the bathroom