Establishing Self Soothing and Playing

Hi, I went through that with my now 14month old..it was a phase, a yucky phase, but we got through it..it lasted about a month or 2, very annoying because you want to get things done but you just can't. I put up a gate in the living room and every time i locked her in she would flip out. I just walked away, let her cry for a few minutes and before you know it she stopped and played with her toys. But as soon as she saw me it was over. So you can try that if you can handle her screaming for a few minutes..I know it's hard! Good Luck!

I know what it's like to have a child like that. My son was just the same (he still likes to follow me around the house). He was getting really good at playing by himself and then i went on bed rest for 6 weeks before we had our second child. I am just trying to teach him again! For a child that young, i would try playing with something near her. set her up with her stuff and you have your stuff, she probably hates being left alone and is afraid you aren't going to come back, so if you are very close to her, she might play better. You could try getting her a baby verion of a computer, so she can play at working with daddy. we gave our son an old keyboard that he loved. Unfortunately you can't reason with them at this age. Did you try asking your son to play with her? Perhaps ask him to do it as a chore and give him a reward. Hopefully some of these ideas work for you.

Hi, I am new to mamasource. I understand exactly what you are going through. I have 18month old twins a 4, 5, and 6yr old. Alot of times I notice when the twins are always underfoot, and grabbing onto me, they just want to be involved. For example, if you are trying to occupy your child while you clean, or cook or whatever, let her help. She wants to do what interests you. My son Devon loves to sweep, so if I am cleaning the kitchen I give him a broom. If I am loading or unloading the diswasher, I have him hand me plates and stuff. If I am cooking, I let her play with a bowl and spoon. Things like that. Hope this helps

My daughter is like that!! I finally realized it was because I would just sneak away to the desk to work when she was entertained and then she would turn around and I'd have my back to her and be busy and she'd lose it. I started letting her get entertained and then I'd tell her "Mommy is going to do some work while you play, ok?" and it worked some of the time. It became a breakthrough and we've built on it from there. There IS hope but it takes time. She's 20 months and just now is starting to play a bit on her own.

my samantha who is 13 yrs old, is going through the same thing!!

My 23 month old put us through this last year. I know it's hard to do, but let her fuss. I know people want to say otherwise, but children learn at a very young age how to be manipulative. They know what buttons to push, what they need to do to get attention.
In cases like this, they cry until you give in. Do <b>not</b> give in. Play with her until you need to do something else, then do it. When she cries and gets clingy, take her back to her toys, play with her and them for a moment, then go back to what you were doing. Rinse and repeat a few times - and then the fourth or so time, don't even play with the toys and her; simply take her back to them.

Hi My little one was like that too. I couldnt get anything done. So I established a time every morning for him to be in his play pen. I gave him lots of toys and popped a movie in. I had it in my living room so that he could see everyone. Sometimes he would cry but then as time went on he came to expect his playpen time every morning at 10. He started with a half hour play time and then sometimes it stretched to an hour the happier he became. That gave us all a little break and it helped him learn to entertain himself. Good luck

Hi! My name is J. and I am a mother of 3. My advice to you and your husband is to estabish a "play time" that is with you (or your husband) and her. No interruptions, no TV, just her. After that time is done reassure her that you will be able to play with her later, but now is your time. It will be hard in the beginning, but consistancy is key. Do it every day and she will begin to realize that she will have your undivided attention when it is her turn.

I hope this helps, but every child is different (I am sure you know that!) : )

- J.

This is so common. I think all kids go through it. It is hard on the parents because why you would love to spend all your time playing with your kids, it's just not possible and there are things you need to do. It's hard because she's only 13 months old and doesn't really understand. You just need to tell her that this is her alone play time. When she comes clinging to you, just pull her off and go on about your business, pretending like she's not there. It's like when my daughter throws a tempertantrum. She does it because she wants the attention. So I know not to give it to her. I walk away and ignore her, she ends the tantrum much faster that way then if I showed her the attention she wants. Plus she eventually realized that by throwing a tantrum that she's not going to get what she wants.

Hi! The only thing I can think of to suggest, is to let her cry it out. I know, it sounds mean, but once she learns that she can play on her own, without someone, the happier she will be. My daughter did that for a brief while, and I couldn't get anything done. I finally put her in her room, with the toys she liked out, put up a baby gate so she could see me, and let her go. It's not easy on the ears, but after a while she learned that when we where doing things, we couldn't play with her until afterwards. Now she loves to play in her room, and she knows that myself or daddy will do things with her after we get our work done.

Hope this helps.
C.