Everyone Is a Winner??

I just hate that. No, everyone is not a winner. There is always a winner, and always a loser, in a game. Too bad everything has to be politically correct nowadays. Because real life IS NOT.

Welcome to 2012. No one wants the little snowflakes to feel bad,!!!!! I think it is just setting them up for problems. Someone wins someone loses. This is real life. If they learn this early in life, they will not be disappointed when their boss tells them they did something wrong.

Comes from the same ignorant and irritating basket that says that teachers shouldn't use red ink to grade papers because it "makes the kids feel bad to see that red ink on the page." Good gracious....

LOL...

It's not the trophy that kids shoot for these days!!!

It's the Invitation Only all-star teams that pull the best kids out of each team!

Quite frankly, I like the system. The "everyone gets a trophy" keeps kids who are terrible but are having fun running around motivated to MAYBE run the right direction (these are kids who would NEVER have played sports a generation ago), is a mark of acchievement for the kids who are actually working hard, but just not that good...

... And the kids who either have real talent, or who work their buts off get SELECTED (even from the worst teams) to go onto the all-star teams.

Cuts out a lot of politics, and gets far more kids involved with sports.

In areas where its still "winning TEAM only"... great kids on lousy teams really miss out on the opportunity to stretch themselves, and good-but-not-great kids can't play anymore... because the teams dissolve in the wake of the 'winning team'... and lots of kids NEVER play, because the teams simply don't exist, because everyone is trying to get their kid on the winning team. Not to mention TONS of politicking (trying to get on the winning team, what one does to stay there, bullying, powerlessness, economic disadvantage, etc.

There have always been all-star-teams. What IS new over the past 30 years are the "we suck but love to play, so we're gonna!" teams.

Heck.

Yeah.

I'm more proud of them, honestly, than the all-stars.

I used to be dead set against 'trophies for everyone'... but I have completely done a 180 on the subject.

Worst thing to come out of 'political correctness'...IMHO.

Hate it and have had to search out different leagues to sign our kids up in just so they wouldn't be told they were a winner 'no matter what' and that they had the opportunity to learn how to lose.

Being a gracious losser is an important skill, so is knowing that you are not ALL THAT, ALL THE TIME!

~The same lefty leaning adults who always need everything to 'be fair' and who 'want us all to be the same' are now influencing their children (and through default our children) the same sad lesson. Sorry folks, LIFE isn't fair and we are all NOT the same! Deal with it.

I don't think it's right for everyone to get a trophy. The real world doesn't work that way.
Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. When you lose, you try to figure out if you screwed up or if the other guy was just that much better than you, and you go from there. If you screwed up, you figure out how not to make that mistake again. If the other guy was jsut better, you practice until you get better.

Gosh I know huh?
Nowadays, "everyone" gets a trophy type thing, whether it is a school thing or extracurricular class.

I think, the winner gets the trophy.
And that's it.
Its a life lesson. And yes, some win some lose but main thing is it is fun for all and they all try their best!
What is wrong with that concept?
That's how it was when I was a kid.
We all came out fine, right?

If EVERYONE gets a trophy, then for some kids, they do not even try... their best anymore. Because, they know they will get a trophy, anyway.
What is the learning about that?

If there are 10 teams, I think teams in the top 3 might get trophies, and that would be appropriate. Giving trophies to all 10 is ridiculous. Basically that shows kids that putting forth the effort to come in first is pointless - hardly the message I'd want to send my kids. I could see giving the rest of the teams ribbons that indicate that they participated, maybe, or everybody who participates (and pays) to be in a tournament or race would take home a t-shirt to commemorate the experience.

I've always hated that ridiculous policy! On top of it the team moms would gather money to get their team each a huge trophy so they wouldn't feel bad. When my oldest played soccer years ago his team won 1st place and got a nice size trophy. The league gave out participation medals to everyone, which was fine. But the top 3 teams got trophies in sized order by win. The team my son played against did not place but their team moms bought each child 2 foot tall tropies so they wouldn't feel bad. Theirs were huge compared to my son's 1st place trophy and my son was upset. Not because he wanted a larger trophy but because he felt the other team didn't deserve theirs. I agreed.

I never won anything as a kid. But I finally won a 3rd place ribbon for the sack race at school, lol. I still treasure that because I earned it. I felt bad for not winning before but I certainly didn't lose sleep over it!

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

Disappointment is a rough thing to go through but it is a big part of life. It can be the thing that makes you work harder to be better at what you do or would like to do.
I think the idea that 'every one is a winner' is a bad one. If you try hard and don't win maybe you need to work harder on your fundementals. A sports team that makes it to the semi-finals got there because they were good, but if they do not continue to work hard they won't make it to the finals and eventually take first place. If it were easy everyone would do it. When a team loses they need to learn what they have to do to be better. Maybe more skills training or long distance runnning or learning actual teamanship. But if they don't win they must try harder.
If we constantly tell out kids they are winners they won't try harder.
I believe it is better to learn NOW in childhood that just because you want something does not mean you will get it. Whether that is a first place trophy or a cetain job or career. If you don't get it you have a choice of work harder or go home. Real winners work harder.

I think it really depends on the age of the kids. Younger children: honestly, up until age 7 or 8, kids really struggle with good sportsmanship and competition, so I'd have no problem with being more generous with trophies. However, beyond that, I think the 1, 2, 3 place takers should be acknowledged and coaches should be responsible for acknowledging the good effort of their players, if that's what they are seeing.

My son doesn't play sports, but we've been clear with him during other competitive moments that if he doesn't like his performance and is unhappy with it, he does have the option of practicing. Want to be a faster runner? Run!

I think it's dumb.
We ALL need to learn how to win gracefully and lose gracefully.
Society is jacked up on a lot of things anymore..... I cant EVEN GO THERE without getting CRAZED.

I think that giving everyone top prize defeats the achievement of the person that really won. If my child does not win, then she learns something. I try to teach her to not let it be soul-crushing when it's just a game. Or maybe defeat tells her that no matter how much she wants to be x, she's really not suited for it, so let's try something else. Kids who never learn to deal with defeat at a lower level, IMO, are totally ill-prepared when they hit something that does not worry about their feelings - like a college ap rejection. And kids that give up at the slightest whiff of defeat don't know how to regroup and try again. My stepkids didn't always win and they didn't always lose. Sometimes SD was really really disappointed when looking at a cast list, but I give her a lot of credit for doing crew when she still wanted to be involved.

This is why we play competitive. Last spring our competitive girls soccer team went 0-8...this past fall season they went 8-0...they know how to lose, and they know how to win.

I don't like rec ball for this reason. No in adult life I don't get what I want, I don't WIN every time I try something or go for that job.

When my son is old enough for competitive we will try out...if he doesn't make a team...well then he can play rec ball. But I don't think every kid should get a trophy. Maybe a participation award but not a trophy.

ETA: I think a lot of it depends on the coaching and parents too. We proudly fly our Sting flag at every game.There is an article out there somewhere that is about "Parents and sports with young kids.." it's about the right and wrong things to do when you're child plays sports. The biggest lesson I learned is this...

As parents we don't bring up the games once their over until she does...if she wants to talk about how she over power kicked, or drove the ball from defense to score...we wait for her.

No, it is a lesson that needs to be learned young in life. It will prepare you for later when you don't get into the dream college or the job you wanted. You will be able to regroup and move on.

What we are doing is teaching our children that they all will get medals because they showed up on the course/field/pool. Blood, sweat and tears are what make us team 1, 2, or 3. The other teams could get a certificate but not trophy. Countries outside the US don't do this. You learn how to accept defeat as well as you accept winning and move on to the next competition with positive thoughts.

Professional teams have winners and losers so why can't little kids? It is the same principle.

The other S.

Kids need to learn to loose.
That is more important than winning.
Learning to loose is not just in sports but it's in life.

Even where scores are purposely NOT kept, any self-respecting T-ball playing 5 year old knows exactly what the score is and what team is the winning team.
Usually, the non-winning teams get a token for participation & sportsmanship and I don't think that's always a bad thing.

I don't like it. We teach our daughter she has to play hard to win. We knew everyone was getting a trophy this year in hockey, but we still told her..."I think they are giving out trophy's if you play hard". She turned around and went back to work. There were differences in trophies, however, everyone received a trophy.

A friend of mine shared with me while her daughter was playing Tball, the batter on the other team bunted and the ball flopped on the ground. The coach walked over and picked it up and said do-over. The other coach asked him what he was doing and he told him, "She can hit a lot better than that".

I guess the rules are out the window!

No, I think the top 3 teams should get awards and that's it. You should have to earn it and that takes some hard work. I think the coaches of the other teams could do something fun with their team at the end of the season to recognize individual athletes.

I think that only the top 3 teams should receive trophies. For the other teams, I see it both ways. It's a nice idea to give them some type of participation acknowledgement, but it should not be a trophy.

in rec. sports all the teams got small little trophies and then 3rd 2nd n 1st place trophies were consecutively bigger.. but traveling sports only the 1st 2nd 3rd place teams get trophies.. not too sure how i feel about it .. i know one year rec soccer we lost everysingle game n were all laughing that we got trophies... so i dont think it really makes a difference.. maybe with very young kids.. i know t-ball starts ar 4 yrs old so i think iys nice all those kids get trophies but once your dealing with 9 and 10 year old kids i dont think its as big of a deal

I think it depends on the competition. I think in sports it's pretty cut and dry. You either win or you lose. In other things, where it's more subjective, I think it's okay to have multiple winners. For example, my kids participated in a challenge similar to a science fair when they were 5 and 7. Everyone got a trophy, but the trophies were for things like: best leadership, best presentation, most innovative, etc. Of course, it might all depend on the kids' ages. I think at younger ages, everyone is a winner.

Learning to loose is just as important as learning to win. That is what has been lost on the younger kids. They expect to win every time or at least get something because they showed up breathing.

When our kids started playing baseball, there were 3 outs, score was counted. Top three teams got a trophey.

Not everyone wins and hurt feelings are a part of life. Sometimes the "old ways" are the "correct ways".

It depends on what kind of competition it is. My kids got participation awards for playing soccer, and that was kind of nice, since it's a memory item.

However, the winning teams got a winning trophy.

Yes, this new need to assuage everyone's feelings can be annoying at times.

I like the way our rec soccer association does it: trophies or medals for everyone until U7, U8 and older only the top 3 get trophies or medals. At the younger ages the focus should be on development, not winning, and giving everyone trophies helps accomplish that. Older ages should already have some skill, so winning due to skill rather than luck (or one monster sized kid who can knock everyone else down) is more prevalent and rewarded with trophies.

depends on the age. my daughter did tball last year at 5 and was so worried to be bad that if there were winners and losers it wouldve turned her off to sports all together. let everyone have fun on rec teams. the serious school teams will always have winners and losers, but there should be a palce for innermural leagues and fun rec leagues for the not so talented kids that still love the sport.
better then having them on the streets because they arent perfect

It depends on the age. It's not just about self esteem. Younger kids should be worrying about developing skills and learning to take risks as opposed to winning or losing. We do not keep score in kids sports here until they are 9 or 10 years old. The same goes for grading in school. We do not start grading students until middle school.

Think of how this is all going to translate into adulthood. 12 people apply for the job you want but only 1 gets it. 12 people can't get the job. One candidate is better than the others so he gets hired. That's how life works.

The other 11 don't get a trophy or a job. Gonna make for some unhappy adults, I think.