EVERYONE Is Against Me BREASTFEEDING My 11 Month Old!

Dear L.,

Hang in there, there is no such thing as spoiling a child by breast feeding. I'd go to a consinment shop or thrif store buy a few breast feeding books highlight a few areas that talk about breastfeeding older children give it to them and ask them to grow up. Either educate themselves on this issue so that you can have an adult conversation or shut up. My fathers mother would of said this to them " if you act like an adult I'll put you on the other one." No one messed with her about breastfeeding or momma's house rules and if she was still alive they still would never test her. Best of luck to you I'm with you if you can do it, do it. You have lots of mom's and people behind you.

Oh my goodness, that's just awful! No, breastfeeding does NOT make a child spoiled and unruly. Your family certainly wouldn't like me. I nursed my youngest until she was 23 months old and weaned herself.

It can be difficult to have a successful breastfeeding relationship with your child when all of the adults around you are pushing for you to stop. If you want to continue nursing then you'll have to tell them to back off and deal with it. There's nothing more annoying than ignorant people. Breastfeeding is the best thing that you can do for your child.

I hate to be blunt, but it sounds like you will have to tell them to screw off if you want to continue nursing your child.

Good luck!!

You are certainly entitled to raise your child the way you see fit, but remember there is another person in the picture with an equal amount of say - the Daddy. If your husband truly has issues with you continuing to breast feed (not just going along with what his mother says) maybe the two of you need to work out a compromise. I personally don't understand the need to turn breast feeding into a battle,especially when your son has received most of the nutritive value he is going to receive from your breast milk and should be moving on to table foods and a cup. Although continuing to breastfeed would provide some benefits, it's not necessary, and the slight benefit may not be worth the unhappy family it is creating. I hope you don't think I am being judgmental, this is just my opinion, but I think a happy family with input from both parents is important. As for your mother and mother-in-law I would tell them where to shove it. They have no say in how you raise your child. Draw the line now so you don't have to deal with bigger issues later. Plus you still have a lot of hormones coursing through your system. That gives you the right to be a little ruder and more direct that you would normally be:) Good luck! I hope you and your husband are able to work this out without outside interference. Only you two can decide what's truly best.

even the american academy of pediatrics recommends 12 months of breast feeding, but the world health organization recommends 2 full years. Get them some documents about that. It's also good for YOUR health - reduces risk of breast cancer later.
good luck! you are doing great!

I agree with everyone else about the how to deal with the moms and your husband. You really need to lay down the law, take all of them to the pediatrician with you- not just you husband, and learn that no matter what you do, these people have NO IDEA what you are going through. Women of our mothers' generation didn't breastfeed much. They think it is barbaric (I know, my dad felt the same way). And I don't have an excuse for your husband. He really should be more supportive. I would also take a little to heart though. Despite the somewhat misguided thoughts of everyone, it may be worth it to take a step back and look at your beautiful child. At this age they begin to learn what they aren't allowed to do (my daughter touches things and looks at me and then says "Stop" for instance) Is you son learning bad habits? Is there actually a cause for your family's concern for his behavior and they are just pinning it on the breastfeeding? I wouldn't knock the accusation just yet just because of an inacurate solution. And believe me, I'm not saying your kid is spoiled, but I would think about it. If nothing else, you may be able to cushion your words to your family if you can say " Well, I've really thought about what you said, and I would rather have your advice in this area..." good luck

Hi! I'm J..
That's terrible! You are completely right to want to breastfeed Joshua to 18 months. I'm a breastfeeding mom and I feel for you.

I suspect that your husband, mother and mother-in-law are jealous of the relationship you have with Joshua. (I've experience that.) There is something very special about it. It's a private club that they'll never be a part of. It's up to them to engage the baby in a way that satisfies him. It's obvious they aren't being creative and can't think of anything to do with him and are blaming you which is very unfair! (I've experience this, too!)You can't change their behavior or comments so all you can really do is ask them to not make comments in front of the baby. Babies absorb positive and negative feelings from the people around them.

I don't know if this will work but maybe a book of activities for babies and toddlers would help. Leave it out in the room with the 'trio of unbelievers' when they are in charge of Joshua and tell them to try something in the book. Gymboree has a great book called 365 Activities You and Your Baby Will Love. Maybe the librarian in your area can make some more suggestions.

I'm sure you've presented the evidence to them that breastfeeding is best. Most Americans have a hard time with the idea of breastfeeding past a year. It's unfortunate that breasts are sexualized in our society instead of being seen as a source of nourishment and comfort for babies and toddlers. Sorry to write so much, but this is an important issue to me! You are doing the RIGHT THING!!! I'm rooting for you.

well Id tell um flat out. God made boobies to feed babies, it doesn't spoil them , breastfeeding does what its supposed to do it feeds baby. I'm with the other ladies get them some actual documentation of the benefits of breastfeeding and what gives your baby.And that point blank it is your choice to breast feed your baby , you as a parent is your obligation to your child to give him the best that you can and when it comes to food Breastmilk is the best that you can give him. NOTHING else can give him all the vitamens that he needs in one feeding. if they come back with something else tell them that your ped told you to breast feed him.

Kudos to you L.. I applaude your for breastfeeding for as long as you can. I breastfeed my daughter for over two years. Her intellect is unbelievable. She still loves Mommy's "ninnee" as she calls it. Tell your family this is the most valuable gift you can give your child for his mental intellect. Breastfeed on-demand ... it is your time to bond with your child. My daughter also used it when she was being disciplined, but I don't regret it. She has beautiful skin, head full of hair and didn't get her first ear infection until after 2 years old, hardly any bad colds. I can go on and on about the benefits of breastfeeding. Good luck :)

You know your child best. Trust yourself to breastfeed him until YOU decide he should be done, or, better yet, until he lets you know he is done. I had a kind doctor who helped me with this issue. He said to relax with your child and take your cues from him on issues that are important to you. I breastfed my son for a year and he was fine with that. He had a Nuk pacifier for another year. That's what he wanted, even though many people criticized me for both things. My daughter stopped breastfeeding at 9 months because I had to start on medicine. She took just fine to the bottle at that time, which was a blessing because I hadn't wanted to stop. She let me know it was OK. Trust yourself, L.. You are a good mother.

L., I am also nursing my 11 month old and can't imagine quitting right now either. Fortunately, my situation is different because my family is supportive, but even if they weren't I'd still be nursing. I think it's time for you to do some research and show your family what you find. You'll be hard pressed to find anything saying you should not be nursing. Go to Dr Sears website and the World Health Organization for credible, supportive information. Remind them of all the benefits and that if it weren't the breast it would be a bottle comforting your little one. Hope it works! Good luck- remind them who the mama is and that she knows best!

Oh my gosh L., I'm so sorry you have to go up against this kind of battle with you Mother-in-law and Husband on a subject that you should be applauded for. Just being able to nurse you child is a fantastic accomplishment when so many women try and are unable to with great difficulty and heartache. In additoin they blame his natural 11 month old behavior on you breastfeeding him, it's unacceptable.

It's time to have a serious heart to heart with your husband after your son goes to bed and talk about how this absolutly will not be tolerated anymore. Your decision to nurse your son is not only fantastically healthy and helps to nuture a strong bond it's not something that should create feelings of competion with you and your husband or mother-in-law. Also he needs to understand that he is married to you and needs to support you and your relationship together and by siding with his mom he is only undermining your marriage. I can only suspect that this will not be your only challange with raising you son and subsequent children by battling your husband and mother-in-law unless you make some ground rules now on how you and he will be discussing methods of raising your children together and not involve your mother-in-law unless you two decide to together. I would sugest taking you husband to your sons next doctors visit and having the pediatrician tell you both the benefits of breastfeeding and also gather as much documented information about the subject to backup your defense because unfortunaly you are defending your decision.

I congradulate you on a job well done in nursing and raising your child. Never second guess your own instict as a mom and love your child as much as you can because your nurturing will be the foundation for relationships romantic and otherwise the rest of his life.

Don't let them get you down, I breastfed my son till he was right at about 18 months. He is almost 2 now. I'm so glad that i did that.I was only nurseing maybe twice a day for the las few months. But you need to do what you think is best for your child. If your child is happy and getting taken care of then don't worry, Be Happy!

Yes, you are Mom and should feel confident about decisions you make for the best interest of your child. Your family does sound a little too opinionated. In order to get them off your back, you'll have to treat them like Missouri (you know, the "show-me" state). You'll have to show them that your breastfeeding isn't the source of every single crying spell. However, why are you breastfeeding at this point?

I am so sorry to hear that you are having these problems. It's very frustrating when you don't get the support you deserve, especially from your husband, on something that is documented to be so much better for baby and mom. I don't know what to do about him. However for your mother-in-law--I had the same situation from all of my in-laws. My first problem though was i wasn't real comfortable with nursing in front of them and they weren't comfortable with me nursing in front of them either. Yet they would come over during her feeding time. I would even tell them give me twenty minutes so I can nurse her before you leave. But no they would come over-so I would go into my bedroom-and they would still complain about how uncomfortable it made them fell--in MY house. But specifically my mother-in-law didn't breastfeed either of her kids and has all kinds of excuses for not but pretty much it boils down to she was too lazy. So when I had my daughter and breastfed all I heard was she is going to be spoiled yah yah yah. And she was at my house all of the time. I mean she would come over two or three times a day. And we didn't get along all that well before I had the baby so I was like what in the heck are you doing. Finally when our daughter was three weeks old my husband layed down the law--before I could get a chance--it was better this way. He told her that she did it her way and now it was time for us to do it our way. And unfortuantely she didn't take heed to the first warning so it came down to if she couldn't keep her mouth shut then she didn't need to come over and we would see her at family holidays and that's it. From that point on me, my husband, and daughter got our lives back under control ourselves. Unfortunately it's a bad situation but you ahve to remember that it's your situation and not theirs.

Holy cow. You have to get some support from breastfeeding groups like La Leche. You need to present your husband with some written documentation from professionals that will help him to understand the benefits of breastfeeding. You may even need a professional to speak to your husband. As far as your mother-in-law is concerned... it's really non of her business. Once you and your husband get on the same page, then you can deal with her. Your husband needs to support you.

Do what is best for you and your baby. My youngest is 27 mos and still BF. We'll stop when we are ready. THe benifits don't magicaly dissapear at a certain age.

Let your mother in law know that she had her time and ways of raising her children and you'd appreciate if you could do the same without the complaints and her disrespectful inputs. Every mother has their own way even with the guidence of other..and no way is more better than the other as long as the child is safe and happy. Tell your husband that unless he wants to start breastfeeding then lay off,you'd never ask him to stop doing something that was natural to him and something he felt strongly about so he should be supporting you on this one...not allowing momma to annoy his wife. When I had my first child my mother in law was on me about the paci once my son hit a yr old, but I was still very much ok with the peace it gave me and my husband and my doctor wasn't advising against it so it was her own personal problem with it...we told her that we didnt want to hear anymore of her opinions on the matter and she shut up. And my husband has always supported me when it came to subjects like this one with my first and my mother in law...he would be the one to tell her to back off and that it was his child and she was only to enjoy the baby not help raise him. That way she didnt feel outed by me but heard what she needed to hear. Sometimes you just have to get ugly with some people to let them know ur serious. You breastfeeding your baby is a special bond only you can have with your child and if their not willing to do extra effort to comfort the baby rather than whining about how he likes you more then tell them to just leave him be then. My baby who will be 12 months on july 7th is also finiky about people holding him he's not familiar with. I try and tell people to just hold in a little longer and give him a chance to feel secure before tossing him back. But my mother in law and other family members expect him to jump in their arms even though he only see's them a total of 10 days out of a month...if that. My mother finally tuffed it out and he is now completely fine with her and sometimes even strangers if they just give him a minute. I hear, "you have this baby so no one can hold him." I tell them, "We'll maybe he doesnt like you. That lets them know that I didnt appreciate their comment and that it is totally up to the baby wether or not he lets u hold him. I say keep doing what u want and to hell with what the others think.

I personally never breastfed any of my kids. I have 3 and I wanted to...kinda..but it just never felt right to do it. So I commend every woman that can breastfeed b/c while I think formula is great I know that breastfeeding is better for the baby. Now having said that...I do think that breastfeeding past the age of 2 is kinda weird. I saw a story once on a lady that breastfed her kids till they were at least 5yrs old and I just don't think that's ok. But again that's just my opinion and i'm only one person in this great big world. I think ultimatly what you're doing is great and so what if people don't like it. My mom always told me "they'll get glad in the same pants they got mad in"lol. So do what you feel is best for your child and let them know if they don't wanna help then they're the ones missing out. Good luck