Exhausted!

I completely understand! I'm almost 14 weeks pregnant with my third biological child/4th child in the household, in addition to working and the fact that my husband just left for 10 weeks of work-related activities in another part of the country. I know exactly how frustrating the exhaustion is...when it seems like everything needs to be cleaned, but everything is just getting dirtier by the minute. I think it really gets you into a negative cycle when things get to that point.

Make sure you're drinking lots of water and snacking often on fresh fruits and vegetables. Exercise also really, really helped me out a lot. Even if you just go out for a walk every day, it really does help to boost your energy levels. It will be hard right at first, because you will feel like you don't have the energy to do it. But the first few times you just have to force yourself to do it knowing it will help you in the long run. Put the kids in the stroller and take them out for a walk in the middle of the day when it's the warmest...or load them up and drive to the nearest mall and just walk around the mall a bunch window shopping. I've always found that I tend to walk fast through the mall, backtrack to different stores, and back to wherever the elevator might happen to be, and I end up having sore legs that night and sometimes the morning after.

Also, have you made sure that you aren't anemic or just have a low iron count? If that's the case, the best iron supplement I have found is Floradix, a liquid supplement that you can find at Whole Foods Market. I do have a low iron count...not quite anemic, but low enough that it affects my energy levels (and, in addition, low enough in my case that it causes some dizziness). I get an increase in energy almost immediately when I take it.

Something else that has been reccomended to me and has worked very well in previous pregnancies for me is taking Royal Jelly. Of course, whether or not you would choose to take it depends on your views on taking bee products and honey-related products.

I edited because I wanted to add that having a family member or friend help out a bit really helps a lot. If you have someone that you could ask to come and help out, it would do you a lot of good. Or if there was a teen in your neighborhood (or family) that was interested in making a few extra bucks on the weekend to come over and help with some of the housecleaning, that would also help you out a lot.

I hate to say it but my only help is the sympathy I can give you!! I have a 3 year old, a 15 month old and am 18 weeks pregnant with our 3rd too!! And I can TOTALLY relate to the exhauston. There's nothing like that feeling where you can't even get thu the day. And nothing helped me either. Just napping when I could, sometimes in the middle of the hardwood kitchen floor with both girls climbing on and around me. It feels like it will never end then one day it did. I still feel sleepy and most days need a "power nap" midday, but the exhaustion does go away after that dreadful first trimester!! I really feel for you, I was just there!!!!!!

Has your doctor made sure you're not anemic? (They check your hemoglobin....)????

Dear R.,

I am tired reading your situation. It is no wonder you are tired two children and one of them is really a baby and one on the way. I will tell you what I have learned and the hard way I may add. If you must grab your rest when you can you grab it. Do not worry about your house. My Mother used to tell me that. She would say Do not worry about the house because the house will always be there and you may not.... It is true we place lots of value on cleaning and fussing over the house. Your children are so more valuable. There will be plenty of time for catch up after you have your baby and your body gets back to normal. Raising children is a tiring job but it is also a job full of joy. Forget the house for now. Save whatever you have for your children and Husband. If you have to sleep when they sleep do it and do not feel guilty about it. Talk with you Husband about it and let him know that if things seem a bit out of sort right now that you are going through. A womans body goes through much when she is carrying. Every pregnancy is different. God gave those children to you and you enjoy every moment with them because a day will come when you will have more time and energy and they will be grown and you do not want to think about how you wished you spent more time with them. As my Mother used to say the house will always be there and you will catch up when the pregnancy is done. Dont stress. Just do what you have to do.

Congratulations!

I know what you mean, the second trimester ALWAYS leaves me feeling flat useless.

Stay away from 'health drinks'. They are full of unnecessary chemicals your baby doesn't need.

Eat a full and varied diet with lots of fruit, veggies and PROTEIN. Eat as much protein as you can. It doesn't have to be from meat. Beans are a great source. You need LOTS of iron. Iron in vitamins is not absorbed properly by the body and leaves you constipated. Focus on iron rich foods like spinach. Have glasses of OJ with added calcium (calcium helps the body absorb and use the iron.)

YOu are growing a baby! That takes all the energy anybody has! Can you possibly lower your standards on the housework? Take showers with your toddler?

Hosnestly i dont think there it anything you can to except just do what you can really im a little over 25 weeks my self and like you my older son will be 7 in feduary i really do feel for you cause i tend to sleep alot my self .. Maybe if there is a close friend near ya that might be able to help out you know like take your boys maybe a coulpe of hours a day just to get a nap to deal with things I live in everett and i will be 30 in october if you like you can write me here or at ____@____.com if you ever need someone to talk to etra

Hi R.,
Do you have a friend or family member who might take your youngest child for a day so you can get some rest and/or catch up on your house? Give your oldest some chores to do...maybe with a small allowance. You'd be surprised how helpful 7yr olds can truly be! Good Luck.

Hi Robin

Any friends or family you can call in to rally for help? I don't have a big family and alot of my closest friends are out of state. But my sister was a great help to me in helping out around the house and once my daughter was born, she was also great about coming to stay with her for a few hours whenever I needed a sanity break (first child). It may be hard to ask for help, but if you have people close to you, let them know you are having a really difficult time and ask if they would be willing to help you. Also, do you have a call-a-teen program in your community? If so, it's a really inexpensive way to get some help in the house so that you can rest.
I had a part time cleaner when I was preg. She only came in every other Friday for 4 hours. She focused on the big stuff so that I only had to worry about the little daily things (dishes, laundry). It keep the house looking decent enough while I was way too tired to keep it up and didn't break the bank.

I can definitely relate. During my pregnancy I could barely make it through my day at work, I'd get home and crash and not wake up til the next morning, often in my clothes from the day before. The only difference is that I didn't have 2 other kids to take care of!! Huge difference, right!?!

I developed anemia, so my doc had me first on iron pills, then on iron injections 3x a week. So eat lots of iron, as others have mentioned.

Also, I've always had the misconception that house cleaners are really expensive, but, in fact, I have friends who have women come in to clean (not "services") who only charge $10-12 an hour. There might be some other corners you can cut to be able to squeeze a couple of hours of cleaning help in there.

And, it might be very temporary. I know I started feeling a little less exhausted around the 5th month. I hope the same goes for you!!

Hi R.,

I have been where you are. It is difficult not to have any help, but as the kids get older it will get better (as you know becuase you have a seven year old).
I wanted to recommend taking iron supplements if you are not doing so already. When you go to your next visit, ask your OBGYN if your iron count was on the low side. They probably have tested you for this already and I don't think all doctors think it is important to make sure you are getting enough iron. Luckily my doctor did when I was pregnant with my second boy and it made a HUGE difference in my energy level. It was just a simple generic brand, nothing fancy.
Ask your doctor first of course....hope it helps!

Marina Relyea

Hi there R. - congratulations on your pregnancy! I just had our 3rd baby (at age 38) and not only was I exhausted, but sick. You need to just prioritize your days. Napping when your little one naps is definitely the right choice! You NEED your rest.

As far as taking things to get your energy level up, I would just recommend eating right - lots of fruit and vegetables. You don't want to put anything in your body to boost your energy (only to crash later), especially when you're pregnant.

Do you have family or a close friend who could maybe help pick up/clean your house for you once in a while until you're feeling up to it?

I wish you all the luck. And, with a 1 month old now, I definitely suggest getting all the sleep you can NOW before the baby comes along and you get next to no sleep. :-/

Give yourself a break! you are 38 and preggo! you are creating life in your belly! that takes a lot of energy and at 38 saps yours too. Rest when you can or your health will be affected. If hubby does not understand explain the above ..38 & pregnant..you cannot have the same energy as when you had your 1st or 2nd as now you have two kids who need you too.

This will pass,

Hi R.,

I was wondering have you ever heard of tahitian noni juice? Well, if you have not please check it out and do some research on it if you like on my website www.tni.com/1049768. It boosts your immune system, gives you energy, and is filled with lots of antioxidants. If your doctor is concerned about what it is, it can be found in the 2007 Physicians Desk Reference book. It is the only dietary supplement in it with no adverse side effects. Well, I hope you find this info helpful because it has changed my life and my family's life tremendously!

Now is the time to ask for help. Do you have a close friend or relative? Or a neighbor teenager who can help? People usually want to help - they feel good about themselves. I would ask-it's not easy to ask. The emotional piece behind it is tough to accept. Also - your 7 year old - can you put him to work? My 7 year old nephew loves jobs and learned to do them well and my sister loves it.She gives him a quarter a task and he makes a list and they make a little project out of it. Take out the trash, sweep the floor, fill the dishwasher, even laundry. I learned how to do laundry when I was six I remember. No offense, but your husband should sacrifice a few work hours to help out. I realize the importance of a job but you gotta be healthy for the next one coming. B12 is an energy booster - maybe you need more than the vitamin - ask your doctor. There is a natural vitamin C drink called Emergen-C (can get it almost anywhere) which gives me tons of energy but still ask your dr. Best of luck.

I found with my first pregnancy I didn't eat enough protein and I was tired all the time. This time, I'm eating a TON of protein. Eggs & turkey bacon for breakfast, peanut butter or deli meat at lunch, and some kind of meat at dinner. It really seems to be helping.
And forget the housework. It will always be there. Take care of YOU! Good luck.

Hey there!! I really don't have any advice on how to get your energy level up I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone!!! I am a 37 year old mother of 3 beautiful little girls, ages 11, 3 and 18 months and I am 13 weeks pregnant!!! I am sooooo exhausted all the time that NOTHING gets done around the house!!! Anyway Like I said I just wanted to let you know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! Hang in there!!!

Hi R.,

I had the same problem with my second pregnancy -- I was exhausted all the time and I thought it was just because I was 40 years old and already had a two year old. It turns out I was anemic, and once my OB had me taking massive doses of iron that helped. So ask your OB or midwife to check your iron level and see if that's the problem.

Best wishes,
Jenn

HI,
You might want to ask your Dr. to check you iron levels and if he says they are even a little low go for the iron supplements. They made a huge noticable difference for me. And remember by the third kid it is much harder to be pregnant with the third than it is to have 3 kids :)

I feel for you, R.! What about trying a trade with another mom? There may be someone who actually likes to clean or do laundry, but needs some childcare a couple times a week. This works especially well if there are older kids and they are able to play 'on their own' (watch a video, play in the yard with you close by, etc) with your older one. If all else fails, just remember, this is temporary. You are exhausted because you are creating another life - much more important than laundry or dishes!
Take Care-

J.

Wow, of course you are tired! You are doing the right thing in maximizing your sleep at the expense of housework. Getting enough sleep for yourself and your fetus is WAY more important than housework. Not doing the housework may mean living in a dirty house, but not getting sufficient rest for yourself and your unborn child could have serious health consequences for you two, and that means for the rest of your family eventually. So keep getting extra sleep whenever and wherever you can. And keep taking your multi and eating good foods and drinking plenty of water.

It sounds like what you need is to 1) get as much sleep as you can get and 2) get some free or inexpensive help around the house. You are on the right track for 1) so now you just need someone(s) who can and will help out a bit around the house without costing a lot. Your two choices here are:

1) family members or friends - don't dismiss this idea too quickly! If your mother, mother-in-law, aunt, sister, best friend knew and understood your situation, and were at all near to you, I bet they would happily come out and visit you and spend a couple hours cleaning for you for free. Maybe even every other Tuesday or every other weekend or something? Think seriously about this option; this is not just for you but for your family. You are not being frivolous, you are being honest and honoring them with your trust when you ask them to help you and your family out a bit. Back in "the old days", it was common for new grandmothers or other female relatives to stay with or near their daughters right before and/or after they had babies, to help out with the older kids, house cleaning, cooking etc. This is a tradition that needs to be revived in our country, because it is good for mothers, babies and families.

2) a nice neighborhood tween or teen (or elder), who could come over and be a mother's helper. This means playing with your kids and/or doing light chores while you are home. Tweens and teens (and lonely elders) are usually eager to help, especially if it means they get some pocket money for their efforts. And you don't have to pay them the kind of money a professional housecleaner would ask for. Even if the kid (or elder) just came over once or twice a week after school for an hour or two and did a load of laundry or washed some dishes while you and your youngest child napped, I bet that would make a big difference. The seven year old could read or help the older kid, or the older kid (or elder) could do quiet activities with the seven year old.

I strongly urge you to not start trying energy supplements while you are pregnant. Your body knows what it needs: rest. Driving yourself to do more than you are capable of puts you and your unborn child at risk. You need rest and help. This is NOT unreasonable! It is your job to get those two things - for the sake of your family and your future help.

Good luck, I know you can do it!!

Hi R.! Congratulations on the pregnancy, I hope all is going well. If you are just entering your 2nd trimester than hopefully the exhaustion should be passing in a few weeks. I have 3 children myself & you've just got to put yourself 1st sometimes. The house may be a mess but you do know you can never get it caught up. Just wait until you have that baby!! So my advice is to rest as much as you can while you can & don't feel guilty about it!!

You're gonna love my answer. You can't keep up with the house work...so what?! It'll be there when you get around to it. As long as your house is not a health hazard for your kids no big deal...you won't be tired forever and you won't be pregnant forever so don't sweat it. If your husband complains tell him to clean it. Yes, seven year olds can be amazingly helpful,SO can husbands who work long hours!! There are plenty of things a 7yr old can do like sorting clothes and vaccuuming and dusting - so can husbands who work long hours! He can throw a load of clothes in the wash before work and put it in the dryer when he comes home. I'm betting you didn't get pregnant by immacculate conception so since he can't carry the baby for these 9 months he can pitch in while you do. On days you do feel well...when youre making a casserole, double what you need then freeze the 2nd batch. Talk to your doctor about your tiredness just to rule out anything that may need checking, and make sure you're getting the right amount of iron. Like the other ladies suggested, make sure you eat nutrionally balanced meals. If you eat allot of processed foods and sugars you will feel lousy. Good luck : )