Extending My Family

I had the same thoughts when I was considering having a second child. And while yes two kids do cost more than one, IT IS SO WORTH IT. My children are best friends. We have great times together as a family. I am very happy its the best decision I ever made. Good Luck!

Jenn Smith
http://jennsmith.stayinhomeandlovinit.com

T.,
I have 5 children and wouldn't have it any other way, except to have more if I could. I had to have an emergency hysterectomy 3 years ago. My doctor told me you find the money for each child and he is right. My kids have everything they need and most of what they want, plus they are all close. My oldest is 24 and the youngest is 8; oldest is the only girl, the boys are very protective. LOL Hope this helps.
Hugs,
T.

My advice to you is how much can you handle? I am a 26 yr old with two Boys age 3 1/2 and 17 months old. I have my hands full 24/7. I work about 30 hrs a week and then spend the rest of the time being a mom and house wife. My older boy is very hyper active and needs constant attention. Our house is very loud with the boys screaming and screeching. Sometimes i wonder why i had another one, but at times i still want one more. Would i change my life? not in a million years! Now financialy in the beginning we noticed it a little, but its like we broke even. My older son was just potty trained and out of diapers, so we were still buying diapers for 1. I got WIC for the formula so that didnt hurt my pocket either. YOu always make it work. Good luck to you!

T.
I went through the same issue when my first was 3....should we or shouldn't we? I was happy with one, and hubby wanted another....so we had our second daughter. She happens to be the complete opposite of my older daughter....very wild, doesn't sleep, breaks things...the list goes on. I find that our older daughter gets in trouble for alot of the things our 2 yr. old does and she feels like she has to watch her alot, and that makes me feel terrible. Think long and hard before you decide. My 5 yr. old would have been fine raised alone. I have many friends that are the only child and they are fine! Good luck!

Hello T.,
I have 2 sons and I still think we made a smart choice to have 2 kids.
Financially, yes, you can easily feel the toll, but it's not something that can't be fixed.
As far as work, it's a little harder in the beginning but not twice the hardship you experience with one kid. I rate it as one and a half times hard. You'll be busy most of the time. But when they grow, when they are 3 and up, they start playing together and that's when all the beauty of having more than a kid kicks in.
Plus, if you have siblings, try to imagine life without them. Impossible, right? Now imagine your child growing up alone, with no one to share things, knowledge, mischief and secrets, no one to call and ask for an advice or money whenever he/she is running short...you know. And what with thanksgivings and xmases?
That's how I see it.
Take care,
L..

Mine were 5,4,3, and newborn. Loved every moment. Financially, we just
made it work. Married to NYC Police Officer and did lots of creative cooking, playing etc. Would not have had it any other way.

I know you said your question is for people with more than one child but, I just want to tell you why I choose to have one.

The financial thing, for me, isn't necessarily overwhelming. You WILL naturally find a way to delgate funds. For, however, I don't want to short change my son when it comes to education. I want him to have a great educational environment where he's nurtured rather then just another social securtiy number. This of course takes $$. If I were to have another I'd have to put them both in public. Nothing is wrong with public school. I went to public schools all my life and have a great career now. I just wish to go private for my child.

Also, I want to be able to be a huge help, financially, when he needs his first car, apartment, wedding, business endeavors, etc.

Is it worth it to have more than one. OF COURSE!! Children are amazing gifts. I daydream of a little girl here and there. But, I was an only child and my parents were able to revolve their lives around me and only me, which had a huge deal to do with where I am today.

What ever you decide is the absolute right thing. I think if you've gone this far considering it, then you should in fact do it. Again, nothing will be overwhelming, it will all be beautiful. I'm just putting out there what my own thought pattern is when it comes to my decision of sticking to one.

If I were a mutli-millionaire I'd surely have 3 more. LOL.

Hi T.,
I have three children. My first two are about 3 years apart, my third came 6 years later. The financial part can be overwhelming at times. But many things are temporary. Diapers, baby food-those kinds of things don't last forever. It's true that they are replaced by other things, but there are ways to deal with that. Can you be put on light duty with your job? It wouldn't hurt to find out. If that's a possibility, that would help your financial situation. You can look at your expenses now and see what you can cut out. Everyone will come on hard times at some point. We've done without some things at times. There was always a roof over our heads, food on the table-but not always a new pair of jeans or shoes immediately. Sometimes that's when you have to rely on Grandma!! I think every one of my boys is worth it, even now when I have a 12 year old that aspires to go to Harvard!!! Best of luck to you!

hi T., my advice to you is not to put your life on hold for a job or finances, you never know when its too late. as long as you and your husband work and are doing your best, then i dont see anything wrong with extending your family. it will work out for you down the road, you will see to that. some people over 35 and others have problems having children, do it now while you are still young, you never know what the future holds

We are fortunate to be blessed with twin girls. I stopped working (I was a NYC teacher) so my husband is now the sole bread-winner in the family. He is a NYC police officer so we're not exactly swimming in money. Anyway, you make adjustments and you make it work. The girls are opposites in every way. We've not had "real" sleep since they've arrived. It definitely is not easy but hearing their mischievous chuckle seeing their little chubby behinds crawling away makes it sooooo worth it!

This is such a personal choice for us all. I have 2boys, 3 and 16t months. Financially, except in the beginning (diapers, formula and such) we don't feel too much of a difference. Pre-school for both will be a different story but at the very least a partime job can help that. I would have one more if it were for a congenital condition that runs in my family. SO yes for me....it is more than worth it in the end!!!! Best of luck with your decision.

hey, i have 3 kids. their still very young, ages 8, 5, 3.
and its sooo expensive. you have to consider the fact of everytime you buy one child something, you must by the others. so when something is ten dollars, it sounds great, but then it quickly turns into thirty dollars for me, not to mention food. lol it gets pricey. i am looking to go back to work, now that my daughter is ready for pre school, so now i have to consider camp for the summers, which is ridiculously expensive. and i have 3 to pay for.
so its def. a lot, but at the same time, its such a pleasure to have so many kids around. they keep eachother company, and its such a wonderful feeling on the holidays to have a home full of happy children. thereare pros and cons, money being the con. def. something to consider

Hello,

I strongly feel that if your heart is in it and you are patient,emotionally mature and have a husband/partner who is supportive, it is possible. Finances may become a bit of a problem, but close budgeting and very little changes in expenses, is a small price to pay for a beautiful blessed package in the long run.

I am a mother of 11 age 39 the oldest being 20 and youngest 2 months old. I adore my children, I am challenged with teen issues, to pre-teens issues and the constant need of attending to the two toddlers and infant. It gets hard but one thing I was advised to do is never deal with the children's issues personally. People (our kids also) go through life experiencing things and in doing so there may be mistakes made, just not personalizing and advising them, is a blessing. Life is a huge learning lesson and through experiences we grow.

If you are medically/physically capable of bearing children, that alone is a strong standpoint foundation to start with, then comes your emotional stability, and support from others.

To be able to request feedback on this network is the biggest positive you've done already. Just leave everything up to God and nature will take it's course. I know I only have one fallopian tube and was told I couldn't have any. Here I am twenty years later blessed with 11.

Be strong and blessed

I have 2 kids. My daughter is 14 and my son is 2. My daughter is from a previous marriage, and for years begged me for a sibling. She was very demanding of my time, which is ok to an extent, but I know it was because she really needed someone to play with. There were only so many play dates she could have, and she wanted constant attention. I think for the most part that she was very lonely growing up for the first 12 years of her life, and if I could have changed that I would. I had my son in 2004, and you should see how they interact together. She's like a little mom to him and she plays with him a lot despite the drastic age difference. Right now, my husband and I are talking of having one more because in 3 years my daughter will be off to college and my son will be alone like my daughter was. I don't want that to happen. I really think her growing up as an only child had an impact on her.

Financially, I haven't noticed much of a difference with the exception of daycare, and we seem to manage fine. Of course that would change with 2 in daycare, but most places will offer a discount if you have 2 or more kids enrolled. Right now our plan is to decide by Dec. '07 if we're going to have another. If we do, we'll start trying right away. If I get pregnant right away, I only see needing to have 2 kids in daycare at a time for 1 year. After that my son will be in kindergarten, and only need after school care. That's not bad. I also think that there is always a way to cut corners and make it work.

Is it worth it? YES!!!