Facebook Friends List

Updated on August 13, 2011
K.M. asks from Denver, CO
13 answers

I have an odd one (I think) about facebook. I have a very small list of friends on facebook (about 50). I do not purposefully sit down and weed the garden as it were but from time to time I notice that I have not heard from someone or seen anything in my newsfeed from them. I want to also point out that most all of my friends on facebook initiated the facebook contact and not the other way around. I do understand customizing your settings and not including your whole list in all your communications but when you see nothing at all for months at a time are you inclined to unfriend them? I guess its not like they are taking up space or taking your attention but it just makes me wonder why a person initiaes that contact and then never has anything to say. I think I am more bothered when I note that they are seeing what I have to say and never like, comment, or otherwise make an appearance on what I say versus a person who does not say anything at all

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all your input. After reading the comments and thinking about who it is that does not post or respons I have concluded that they don't post often (as some of you pointed out) and I have really valued what they said when they did chime even. Given that some of you said to keep it fun it kind of seems like blocking or dumping them would be like asking someone to leave the party because they aren't talking to me. Hell if they are having fun just listening in on the conversation so be it. I think I will still weed the garden on occasions like mentioned in the comments about people making rude insensitive comments, like sending the drunks elsewhere to sleep it off. Thanks to all of you

Featured Answers

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

My husband NEVER posts on FB, but has an account. I find it annoying, but I don't care at the same time...I do however delete other friends of mine who I have no contact with or nothing in common with anymore. Just because I knew someone 15 years ago does not mean we need to keep in touch still. Not to be mean, but I CANNOT STAND when people say "well you friended me, I didn't friend you" - it is just childish to me. Doesn't matter who friended who - you are friends. If you want to delete them, don't feel bad doing it.

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H.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

I currently have 227, I had close to 300 at one time, but I "cleaned house" and removed a lot of them. People from HS that have never spoken to me would friend me, then say nothing at all to me. Family that air their dirty laundry, I deleted them all. People are NOSEY! They don't really care to talk, they just want to see your pictures, she what you're doing, Etc. They don't want to chat it up and meet for lunch next week to catch up on life.

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L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Ouch! No, I don't delete people because they're not on FB very often. It's nice to know that they are there if I want to contact them. Some people are just voyeurs anyway. Doesn't bother me.

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I keep them all in case I want to private message them.

I also warn anyone that wants to be my friend that I tend to post a lot, so they may want to "hide me" so I do not drive them crazy..

Some people just do not spend a lot of time on there, but it has been handy not having to search for their emails when I want to ask or tell them something.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Social networking is a personal preference. I started out with only the people I was in close contact with, then accepting acquaintances. Now, I go to a lot of photography seminars and we often exchange business cards. I have gradually begun to accept those friends who I just met. It is just that networking and it provides me the opportunity to see their work and others the opportunity to see my work. Years ago, it was considered taboo to befriend your competition, today it is acceptable and much nicer.

It is your network, make it whatever you want it to be, as long as you have fun.

S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Sometimes I do see things from people and sometimes I don't and yet I know they don't exclude me on purpose. I've never thought FB is consistent with how the notices are ordered. I've tried a lot of different settings. I don't weed out people often. But occasionally I do. If I'm unfriending someone it's usually because they've repeatedly put through things that I find either offensive, or just childish.

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P.R.

answers from Denver on

The default setting on Facebook is to only show friends on your newsfeed that you have had recent contact with. So if you don't talk to someone for a while, don't comment on thier posts, then they drop off your newsfeed and you don't see them at all unless you go look at thier wall. If you have changed that setting then they could be just quiet people.

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S.T.

answers from New York on

I know alot of people who don't really post on facebook - they use it to look at family photos, and see what's going on with other people. My friend says she "facelooks" and doesn't really facebook... she NEVER posts - but once in a while she'll comment on mine.

I also have a sister who is a Wiccan priestess - and I'm a conservative Christian. She has separate groups and I never see her wicca posts (unless she makes an error and then suddenly her post will vanish) but she'll comment from time to time about my family posts or photos.

Don't take it personally everyone uses social media differently - some only use it to play games and I've hidden all those entries!

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

My father has been on fb for three years or so. He has made maybe five comments on it this entire time. I asked if he wanted to close out his account and e got upset. Apparently, he doesn't like to post, but he peruses it multiple times a day. Your friends may be like my dad. They don't want to put their business out there, but they might enjoy seeing yours.

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S.R.

answers from Great Falls on

I would probably be one of your "bad friends", too. Sorry, my computer at home is very slow and I don't feel I should be on Facebook at work. So, when I'm at home, I'm always so overwhelmed with everything else that I just don't get the time to sit down and check out Facebook. When I do, I love quickly reading what everyone else is up to and will maybe comment. But I"m only on it about once a month so..... I know I miss a lot but like what I do see. I never thought about other people perceiving me as bothersome. Maybe I've been unfriended and don't even know it.

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S.L.

answers from Boise on

Let me tell you what my motive is in "friending" someone on Facebook. Often, I just want to see what they're up to, what they look like now, if they have kids, etc. I may never say anything to them. That may be weird, but I know I'm not the only one. And since I know how I feel when I'm just seeing what people are up to, I figure other people who never talk to me are probably feeling the same way; they are curious, they have some fond memories of me, but we're not best friends and we haven't seen each other since high school, so they really don't have much to say. And that's okay with me.

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M.L.

answers from Dallas on

K., I have noticed the same thing on my Facebook....I have a small friends list as well and notice that certain one won't comment on my page but only comment if they notice I haven't posted in a while then they are wondering what's going on in my life. I have personally deleted them because in my opinion they are just being noisy.

C.S.

answers from Medford on

I do. I only keep people on there that I keep in contact with.

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