Family Time Verses Me Time??

Updated on February 22, 2012
2.B. asks from Jackson, WY
14 answers

How much does time or activities does your family spend together with the kids, you and your spouse? How much "me" time do you and your spouse each get and how do you divide it up? How is an average week and weekend (of non work time) spent with your family or by you and your spouse? Thanks for all of your imput!! It is very appreciated and needed! :)

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S.A.

answers from Milwaukee on

Me time? I don't even know what that is. My husband works out every day. I consider that his "me" time. My husband and I got out to a movie together this past weekend, so that was nice. Doesn't happen very often. During the summer, I did my workouts with my girls, have a jogging stroller and a bike trailer. OTW, guess my only me time is after everyone goes to bed and I make myself stay awake and watch a show or two. All the rest of the time is me and the kids.

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H.1.

answers from Des Moines on

I will answer this question as our family did it when we were both working full time (I am now SAHM.) Every weekend was family time. We all needed and wanted this. We do fun activities and hang out together. That said, I slept in on Saturdays and hubby on Sundays. During the week, I took/take one night either every week or every other week after my son goes to bed to catch dinner with a friend or by myself! Hubby does little for his "me time" but that's his choice. Our son is in bed around 7 pm every night so we have after 7pm for us time, which we usually just hang out watch movies, etc.

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am with my kiddos all day (well 2 are in school but with the youngest)... then we spend family time all together when my husband gets home from 6 until bedtime which is about 7:45... then my hubby and I have our alone time until about 10. On the weekends we usually get stuff done around the house, do grocery shopping etc... usu it is one parent running to the store with one kid or alone... but often on one weekend day one of us will have something planned with friends (my husband will go golfing, I just joined a bunco group etc). We have about 2-3 date nights a month with each other and 2-3 "dates" a month with friends (like me with a girl friend, him with his guy friends). I think it is important to have time for each person to remember who they are as an individual as well :) I usually plan guy "dates" for my husband though because if I didn't he probably never would, lol.

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

As of right now, we don't get a whole lot of "me time." I tend to steal mine early in the morning, and hubby gets his late at night. I am a SAHM, so I'm with the kids all day, and then hubby joins us around dinner time, at 6, and we all hang out till the kids go to bed at 8. On the weekends, hubby takes our son to swim, and I take our daughter to tumbling. We then meet up for the lunch and then spend the rest of the day together. We also try to go swimming together as a family on the weekend, and we do a family video.

Soon, I am hoping hubby and I will get more alone time. We do a fake "at home" date night on fridays. I make a nice dinner and we stay up late talking. It's much cheaper than going out, and it gives us time to really talk and connect.

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E.S.

answers from New York on

Me time comes when it's available, not necessarily when "me" wants it. LOL.

I'm with DD at home during the week and she has one day with Gramma and Grampa. That is errand running day/me time, I guess.

Daddy comes home around 6:30 and we spend time together until DD's bedtime.

On the weekend, we mostly split our time with DD so we can both get me time.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I wish I could put a number on it but I can't. I know before my divorce I spent a lot of time with my kids but then I hated being around my ex even though I didn't hate him at that time.

I guess I am saying spending time with your kids is easy when you enjoy their company more than most other options.

Having said that now that I am remarried we do a lot of family stuff. There is no reason not to include my husband, he doesn't bring down the whole event like my ex did.

I guess I am saying all things equal the bulk should be family time.

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K.S.

answers from Detroit on

My hubby and I work opposite hours. There are some days we do not see each other awake. Our DD gets one-on-one time with hubby before school, and as he volunteers at school, he sees her two times a week during the course of the school day.

DD gets mommy time for about one hour before it is bedtime after mommy gets home from work. Hubby is not home, so I go to sleep, too.

I'm somewhat conditioned to wake my hubby comes home tired, so I do my mampedia time at 1 a.m. I guess that's me time, if you want to call it that.

As a teacher, I often have to send my hubby out with DD on Sat or Sun so I can check papers. In that way, they get one-on-one time. I always get the impression that my "me" time is spent on my students rather than myself or my family, so it's hard at times.

We eat two or three nights a week as a family, depending upon my hubby's schedule.

Friday is Girls' Night Out with DD and mommy. As DD is tired from the school week, lately she wants to stay home and play together. Sometimes we go to a 4:30 movie.

As best I can, I try to make Sunday a family day, unless I need to get some stuff done.

Hubby and I average about two dates a year. That's because we do not get a lot of family time together, and going on a date when that is the case seems unfair to DD. She's already had three nights of sitters for the week. Luckily, we love DD; we make the most of family time.

The me time I miss the most is exercise time. My routine before DD was to come home early, take a long, vigorous walk, then do planning and paperwork while hubby was at work in the evenings. My DD does not make working at home feasible. So now I stay until about 7:00 p.m. and then eat at home with her and then prep for bed. Too tired to stay awake to work after she's in bed (after reading bedtime stories, which makes me drowsy, too). I can't leave DD to go for a walk at 8:30 at night, and I've already had a sitter at the house to stay at work late, so no exercise for me. I awaken to the next day.

I wish we would wise up in this country and call 30 hours full-time. Then, employ more people, as there will still need work to be done, so more people will be needed, rather than working one person 50-60 hours. And then we all could have exercise time and family time. I wish my income allowed me to follow that schedule, but it does not.

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

We have Family Movie Night every other Friday when we have the kids (every other weekend they go to our ex's). We have pizza and salad and watch a kid movie together. We just added Family Game Night on Wed so tonight is our first night! We are going to play board games or we got a ping pong set that clips on the table so maybe that. I also try to go on a walk with everyone every night, especially now that its cooler out. In the summer, we are in the pool every day. Hubby and I get every other weekend by ourselves when our kids are at our ex's. Its so nice and quiet! We usually get caught up on things around the house and also go to the movies and out to eat. Sometimes we go on a road trip for the day and see the area. And as far as "me" time, I get that every day since I'm home and the kids are in school. =)

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Hard to say. On any given week day, I spend before school with the kids (anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours depending on the age) but it's not leisure time. I also work from home 3 days so those afternoons we're together but I'm working and it's not play time. The two days that I go into the office I usually work my 2nd job after and don't come home until they're in bed. On those days, my husband is hands on from 5-9 and on the nights I'm home, we're both hands on from 5-9 but divvy things up based on sports and activities. So I spend 16 weekday hours as the primary caregiver (many while I'm working) and my husband spends 8 as the primary, then we share the rest.

Weekends are anything goes - there are usually 3 hockey games between 2 kids plus several hours of kickboxiing and boxing for another child and we divide those up. I often work my second job for a few hours each day, and I do church and Sunday school on Sunday mornings with the kids.

I take me time as needed - I go to the gym or exercise outdoors in the early morning or evening a few times a week and go out with friends, go to PTA and garden club meetings and other things I enjoy doing a few times a month. My husband play hockey on Friday nights and socializes with friends on a regular basis.

We go out together, either alone or with friends, every few months. After the kids are in bed, we both often work late into the evening. Although we are both working, I try to bring my laptop into the same room as him and we can chit chat, comment on something on TV etc. and generally spend some kid-free time together while getting work done. That's sort of "our time" on a daily basis.

During the summer, with the absence of many of my volunteer commitments, no hockey and no school we spend a lot more time together in the pool, boating, at the beach, biking, fishing etc.

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

I am with my kids or working all the time. No such thing as "me" time. They even follow me to the bathroom!
Dad works evenings so he has hours of alone time while we're gone every day.
But I don't envy him. I wouldn't change places. I truly enjoy my kids. We are always smiling, laughing, cuddling.
Dad and I get to be together at the end of the day for about an hour and on his days off.

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B.B.

answers from Missoula on

I am with my one or both of my kids three days (M, W, F) per week from about 7 am, when dad goes to work, until he gets home at about 6 pm. The B. go to preschool/daycare on T, Th from about 9 am til 4:30 or 5 while I work.
We spend time together as a family in the evenings (6 pm til bedtime at 7:30 or 8pm) then my husband and I have a few hours together before we go to bed. We also have time as a family on the weekends. My husband and I try to go out together twice a month and we leave the kids with my parents or my sister.
My husband and I spend time alone as we want/need. Tonight I am getting together with some girlfriends after we put the kids to bed. When he wants some alone time, he plans it and lets me know.

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H.?.

answers from Boise on

I don't really have "me time" much, but I think that it is overrated anyway. When I can get together with my friends for dinner or a movie or just hanging out I do, but that is maybe 3-4 times a year! If you count little trips to Target by myself while my husband watches the kids then I guess I have some of that kind of me time about once or twice a month, but that is not really fun because I can't buy much of what I want anyway!

As far as family time, that is really, really important to my husband and I! We think that weekends should be about family, not ourselves. So when we are not doing weekend chores (which can also be done as a family) we try to take family "field trips" together or have family movie night. I look for free activities we can participate in in family living magazine or other local resources. Last Saturday was a free day at a local birds of prey refuge; the local library has some fun free activities sometimes too. We also attend church together every Sunday and Sunday evening we used to visit my in-laws for a nice dinner and conversation. Now they have moved to England so we miss that, but we often Skype with them on Sunday afternoons. We also like to do arts and crafts together or play games on Sunday evenings.

My husband and I have dates sometimes, but many times we can't afford a babysitter or even a date night so we have just gone over to other couple’s homes (or have them come to our house) and had our kids play in the basement while we talk and laugh and play board games. Those have been some of the most fun “dates” we have ever had!

My husband has some B. nights with his friends occasionally, about as often as I get to have girls nights, and he sometimes will go ice fishing with friends in the winter. I usually encourage him to go and have fun when he gets a chance to, and I take the opportunity to rent a movie that I want to see and he doesn't! Or I have a "girls night" with just my daughters, now my son participates too so it is more of a mom and kids night.

That is what works for my family, what works for yours may be very different. As long as you are not having huge fights with your husband over me time, us time, and family time, I think you'll be fine! And remember that once your kids get a little older and are always gone with band practice or football or dance team or dates or whatever, you will have more me time and you will miss having your little ones home with you!

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L.S.

answers from Fort Collins on

I am home with my kiddos...and several others...all day M-F. (I have an in-home child care.) My husband is usually home ~5pm most nights. We cook and eat dinner together almost every night. "Family time" is every day from 5-8/9. Weekends are mostly spent together, as well. We usually have a half day of errands one weekend day. I try to do them alone or with one child when possible.

We have learned the hard way just how important "me time" and "us time" is! We are trying to be better about making time for ourselves and each other. Yes, the kids are only little once (that's why I am home now!) but when they are grown (which happens way too fast) you are still there and your husband is still there! You need to nurture yourself and your marriage too!

I pencil in one MNO (Mom's night off) a week...although it doesn't always happen. My husband takes time as he wants it (mostly to see concerts periodically with friends or family). We also try to do one date night a month or so. Sometimes we pay a sitter, sometimes we swap with friends.

Good luck! I hope you find the right balance for your family. :0)

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J.T.

answers from New York on

Me time is while the kids watch ~45min of TV after dinner and taking our dog out though to be honest, I'd rather spend that time another way. At work right now is me time as I'm on mamapedia... Otherwise, on weekends now that the kids are older so they play with friends or each other, I'm not totally engaged all the time though I'm home and I do get to sleep in a fair amount on weekends now. Family time is dinner virtually every night. Weekends vary. My husband is much better about taking time away to work out or go to a sporting event, out to drinks etc. I'd say he takes about 3-4 hours on weekends where he's really gone and some other time that he's working on something or napping. Weeknights he goes out maybe once every 2-3 weeks and works out before the kids are in bed a couple of times a week but is home for dinner or soon after first. When my kids were younger, I had less "me" time. I work full time btw, home at 5 every night and kids are up until 9pm.

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