Fatigue Contributing to Poor Behavior

Hi S.~
First, I would not perceive your son as being "noncompliant". Maybe that was just a poor choice of words :\. Anyway, I have not had this experience with my kids to the extreme you have. When my kids can't sleep or wake up too early, I just bring them in bed with me, or I get into theirs, or we plop on the couch with soft, comfy blankets and pillows, and we have hugs :). They fall back to sleep peacefully and sometimes so do I! :) I know many parents are against having their children in their bed, but your son is out of balance somewhere and he is having a multilevel challenge because of it. It seems like you accomodate him as far as sleep is concerned, meaning he is not sleep deprived. If he is up at 6am, what time does he nap? I can see how he would feel agitated by 11am if he has had no nap before that time, as he has already then been awake for 5 hours. Does his school offer a later starting time? Maybe he would do better in that slot instead? My son gets more aggressive and angry when he is tired, too- he gets frustrated. We all have that. For him though, I pick him up calmly and hug him, and I dance him gently to sleep in my arms. He is 4 now. I also have subliminal relaxation music that I play which relaxes the kids; and sometimes I play it as background music, which sets a nice calming mood in the house with nothing else on. I don't let them watch very much tv and if they do, it's Noggin, PBS, or some Disney channel stuff- like Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I am very protective of what they see and hear in the way of violence and nasty behaviors. Even while my husband watches tv- the kids are not allowed in the room. There is more coming through those screens than we see with our eyes.

Keep in mind, too, that your son is also reflecting and reacting to the rest of the family's energy in the house, as well as all those frustrations aimed towards him given the current ongoing situation you've presented. To me, your little one sounds to be very sensitive to others around him. There are children who experience this who are what is referred to as being a Sensitive; I am one myself. To put it simply, we feel other peoples' "stuff" in a more magnified way than normal on a deeper level of consciousness.

You might also want to check his yeast intake- it's in everything. Too much of that in the system can make you feel like you are going nuts as it attacks the nervous system. The out of balance comment I made could very well have to do with this being the culprit. Perhaps he might benefit from what I had to do with my daughter... I stopped all refined sugars, white flours, yeast, dairy... etc. You said he did not have food allergies, but one wouldn't need an allergy to be sensitive to the effects of the yeast and all those processed foods. There is a yeast cleanse product for children called Candex. You can buy it at Whole Foods Market. Try that capsule dumped in some 100% natural fruit juice- or something you make yourself in the juicer- and put it in a sippy cup so he can't see the contents of the capsule. He shouldn't taste it at all. Also, along with the Candex, get some probiotics like Jarrow's formula Yum-Yumdophilus- those are at Whole Foods in the refrigerated probiotic section. See if that doesn't help to calm him- give him a month. I saw results with my daughter after a day and a half!! I felt like I knew her again and she was back. I now know how to monitor her behavior when those levels of things increase. I simply take them away again and she is fine ;). You may also choose to take him to a Naturopothist. I know an excellent one if you are near the Valley.

I hope I said something that helped or gave you another idea to manage this and help his little spirit feel at peace. I will also be more than happy to make you a copy of the music I play. I also have nighttime music that may help him, too. The kids love to fall asleep to it :). All in all, I hope everything gets better for you guys soon :). He's the one feeling crummy- so please don't get mad at him ;).

All my Love and Light~
J.

Hmmm, so he is displaying this behavior at home and for the very limited time he is at school. Is this new behavior? How long has this been going on? Has he always had some difficulty interacting? 11 hours of sleep per day sounds like it should be sufficient for him to get through his day. I am wondering if you have considered an assessment with the pediatrician and/or developmental specialist. Also a comprehensive vision exam with a pediatric opthamologist to rule out any muscle issues involved in vision which are often overlooked and manifest as "behavior" issues. They also often lead to fatigue. The typical "vision" screen does not test for this, nor does it usually identify "red flags", so you may have to pursue this on your own.
Best wishes.

The first thing I'd look in to is his diet. You may be surprised at how many foods out there just make us sick. Off the bat it sounds like he isn't getting enough protein. What does he eat for breakfast? Typical meal/snacks? I'd love to know. Aside from that, maybe too much sleep? My kids sleep the same as your son, they do not sleep past 6am but they wake very refreshed and ready for the day. My 4.5 year old son naps at school on the 3 days he goes but rarely naps when he is with me, although sometimes it is obvious he needs to and then he just goes to bed earlier than normal. Is he anemic?
Sorry, I'm not much help. I believe most of our ailments are caused by what we eat (processed foods/bad carbs/dyes, etc..) so this is the direction my mind is going.
Feel free to email me if you want to talk food.
M.

Poor thing, must be hard on him (and the rest of the family too!) This is kind of a long shot, and I don't know if this is true for children too, but figured it might just be worth mentioning... My husband and I are complete opposites when it comes to sleep. Me, I need my 8-10 hrs/night or I am not functional, cranky and moody the next day. My husband, however, needs NO MORE than 6-8 hrs a night or else HE is not functional/moody/cranky next day. Maybe your son is like my husband? I am not saying he should be sleeping 6 hrs or less of course, but maybe he is sleeping too much "for him"? It sounds like he is sleeping a good number of hours for the "average" child his age, but maybe he's not "average" when it comes to sleep? It could also be a million other things I'm sure, but never know! Maybe try putting him to bed a bit later and/or no more nap for a few days and see if you see a difference - couldn't hurt to try for just a few days (maybe not on school nights though- if he does go to school! lol)

Also, is he getting exercise everyday? Even though he is tired, he should "force" himself to do at least a bit of exercise everyday, because it DOES give you more energy in the long run.

And only one more thing I can think of, is he drinking enough water? Sounds silly, but mild dehydration CAN cause fatigue. Oh, and a good multi-vitamin can help too sometimes!!

Good luck, and I really hope it's nothing serious!!