FB Question and a Vent:

If it wasn't facebook, it would be a random person at work, a bar, a person they met in the grocery store, a friend of a friend, etc. Someone isn't going to "hook up" if they didn't want to. Facebook doesn't make people cheat, but people use it to access other people willing to cheat.

Personally, I don't know anyone who has used facbook for this. I also don't know anyone (that I'm aware of, at least) who is trolling for a hook up.

I don't know anyone this has happened to, but if someone is ready and willing to cheat -then they're going to cheat at some point. Whether they hook up with someone off of FB or in a chat room or a bar, work, gym -you get my drift. It's not FB's fault -it's the person's fault who sought out and had the affair.

If your friend's wife hadn't found this on FB, she would have found it somewhere else. She WANTED to find it.

The internet has made many things easier, for good or bad. People are tempted everyday, but they don't have to succumb to it.

Personally, I don't have any friends who have done this. I also don't have any drama I read about on my FB. None of my friends talk the way I've heard about. Thank goodness. (And if they did, I'd defriend them, btw.)

Dawn

I have to agree w/ Bug...if the urge is there, they will find a way to "hook up" some way, some how...a lot of people say the internet is evil and causes so much harm....yes, to a degree, because availability of information and finding pretty much anything you want is at your finger tips...it makes cheating easier, but doesn't cause it...IMO.

Hope your friend is ok...sorry to hear that he is hurting.

I'm not on FB, but I don't really know anyone that does this. I have heard of friends reconnecting...only to discover why their friendships had fizzled out, but that's a whole other story...:)

I did have one fellow from high school try to reconnect on Classmates. It took me a short bit to realize he was looking for a girlfriend... and then I was just puzzled. Apparently "a mother and happily partnered" meant nothing to him. Quite sad, really. It actually means a great deal to me!

Sad about your friend..hope all goes well for him..I've known a couple of relationships that were born through FB, but none so far that've caused a relationship to break.

I agree with Bug.., Dawn and Julie B. Its not totally FB's fault.

But social networking has swept up a lot of people in its wake. Lot of people never realise how involved they get into it until something really serious (in the negative way, unfortunately) happens and gives them a wake-up call. Very less people I know are there, who practice wonderful moderation.

I hope the next generation grows up a lot more wiser...

There's a consensus here. FB is the symptom, not the cause. If there was no technology, he would have hooked up with someone else. Technology just helps weed out the problems sooner.

NO I don't, but I think it is so wrong to do that, I hope KARMA bites your friends soon-to-be ex wife right in her butt.

Its not FB's fault... its the person who was married and chose to cross that line. If it wasn't FB it would have happened some where else with someone else.

good friends of my husband and I got a divorce for pretty much the same thing. The husband hooked up with a girl who was staying at their house with her boyfriend. The couple moved out but the husband and the girl stayed in contact over fb and texting.

BUT the husband was VERY unhappy for years ( I knew them for 4 years and he was unhappy from the time I met them, my husband has known them for 18 years and he said its been about 5 years before I met them that he was unhappy) he would tell his wife this and try to work on it but the wife said she was happy and there was nothing to work on.

Well he found someone who made him happy and went after it. The now ex-wife loves to get attention still over her husband leaving her and loves the drama when ever she can find it ( same thing she would do to her marriage). The husband is still with the woman and they now have a two year old little guy and is very happy with his life now.

Its not fb's fault this happened and I don't know if it made it easier or not but yes fb got all the "blame" for it.

Now on the flip side.. my sil dated a guy in high school they went their own ways for their own reasons. Young being one of them. She was with another guy for years had 4 kids. They split up and shortly after her exboyfriend found her on fb. They started talking and getting to know each other again. She moved 1/2 way across the country with her kids to be with him. They are getting married this summer. Her and her kids are all so happy with their life right now. Thanks to fb she found her love again and is in a better place in her life.

yes, its horrible.
Don't know why more married people don't have self imposed rules like, "don't friend anyone on face book that you've slept with ."

E.:

It's not just FB that can be blamed - it's technology in general. There is Myspace, Classmates.com, LinkedIn (yes, it's a professional site but people find each other there!!).

And to top it off - it's not the technology - it's the relationship. If someone isn't feeling valued and appreciated they will seek it elsewhere. Especially if they expect their SO, spouse, BF, GF to read their mind and KNOW what they wanted, expected. This is why communication IS KEY to the survival of a relationship.

No, I haven't known anyone who's relationship ended because of FB or any other technology. I have had people find the gapping holes in their relationships because they got comfortable and in a routine - taking each other for granted and forgot to wine and dine their spouse...and they got attention elsewhere. NO, I don't condone it. And I won't be their scapegoat so they can go see someone either.

What I think will be funny - is that that "old flame"? the problems that broke them up all those years ago will still be there. They will most likely end up breaking up when the grass isn't as green as they thought it was. Hopefully your friend will learn from this!!

I would tell my friend I'm sorry.

People used to hook up after meeting at a bar... now they just do it on FB. A cheating heart is a cheating heart... FB makes it easier, but they would've done it even if FB didn't exist.

Oh yeah - it just happened to an old friend of mine from high school. She and her hubs were high school sweethearts (Like Junior year on) and they got married right away - had a few kids - had an oops baby about 4 years ago (she's in her late 30's now) and seemed to be doing alright. Then she suddenly starts posting all sorts of weird status's on FB - really concerning kind of stuff - and finally it comes out that he met an old high school girlfriend (and I mean old since they'd been together since junior year) rekindled the flame - and he left his wife for this woman. I guess she has no kids (they have 4) and told him that she would do "anything" to be with him.

So yep - I think it happens more commonly then we want to think. Just so easy to find the old flame...

i agree with the consensus. it's not fb. it's crappy people in general. and they're everywhere.

Happened to a friend of mine recently. Hubby hooked up with some girl from high school, who is also married. Leaving wife of 25 years who was recently diagnosed with kidney cancer.

A coworker's SIL (her husband's brother's wife) left her family, and moved overseas to be with a FB flame (no prior history). This was years ago--she divorced her husband & married the guy. They are still married.