Fear of the Flu or Just Sicknesses Period...

This is a real phobia. It is called emetophobia, I have it too. It has gotten worse over the years, and these past couple weeks have been the worst ever just anticipating what could happen with all the junk going around. So bad that I actually sought treatment with a therapist and started on Friday! I'm sorry, but I don't agree that the more you "deal" with it that it will cure you. With 3 kids and a husband with a "weaker" stomach, I can say that has not worked for me. After researching it online and talking to the therapist, there is an immediate "fear" response when you have the stimulus. This is not typical which is why is triggers a phobia. There are some heloful websites out there. When my DH discovered there was an actual name for the condition earlier in the year, I was so relieved. I read through some of the sites and thought 'WOW, I do that!!'. On a mommy board I am on, there are 2 other moms like me. When I made those connections, it made me feel so much better that I wasn't the only one. I've been suffering in silence about this since I was a little girl. If you need someone to talk to, please write me. And look it up on the internet, the sites that aren't just the dry medical explanation really help validate how you are feeling. (((HUGS))) Since we couldn't get much done in our first therapy session, the Dr recommended working on relaxion breathing for now. Good luck to you!! And you are lucky, only 1 bout of stomach sickness??? My 3 kids seem to get it once a year (this time of year too) and mix DH in there every other year or so!!! GRRRRRRRRRR!

I was the same way at first. When my son would get sick, my husband had to clean him up, hand him over to me, then finish cleaning up the mess. Not only was the mess hard for me to clean, but I would panic when he got sick. The first time he got sick and I was home alone with him changed everything. Your mother instincts will kick in and you take care of everything you need to do.

I have the same problem. You're lucky though, you only have two to worry about I have four boys. So when one gets it, you can bet the others will. Life would be so much easier if we could just stick them in a bubble and not have to worry about it. I finally got myself to realize that they're going to get sick, and it's not as bad as I imagine it will be. It's good that they get sick, because it helps build stronger immune systems in the long run. Just remeber that eventually you won't need to hold the bucket for them forever and they'll be able to run to the bathroom on their own eventually. Good luck to you.

I don't know about the fear of the flu, but I do worry about things, almost to the point where I feel obsessed about something. Usually it's our house being old I worry about - the kids getting sick, etc...so yes, worrying til you get sick to your stomach is a mother thing - and it never goes away! Feel free to write back to me and we can share our worries - I think sometimes venting them helps!

Oh yeah! A couple folks said it will get better; for me it hasn't, but I HAVE learned ways to deal with my fear and with my children being sick. First...my children are not particularly sick. I hear horror stories of families vomiting and kids who are sick multiple times a year, but so far, yes, we've had stomach flus, but they're dealable. My kids have thrown up in beds (wash the bedding) or on the floor (hubby cleans with 409 and then we use the steam vac). My four year old had a stomach bug this fall and of the four times he threw up, he did it once in his bed, once on the floor (husband tried to carry him up the stairs...duh...shoulda just aimed for the kitchen sink, with disposal!), once in a bucket, and once in the toilet. So...by the time they hit four, the first time might be a surprise, but the subsequent sessions should be easier, cleanup wise. Also, my husband knew I was phobic when I married him, and he always gives me the option: do the clean up or deal with the kid. I ALWAYS clean up because I'm terrified of him throwing up again, on me. When my four year old called me into his room this fall, I actually walked out on him throwing up and got my husband, lol! He has also promised me he'll come home and help me deal with sick kids if they throw up. Also...I've found that, overwhelmingly, my kids don't just randomly throw up. Usually I do know something is up, and usually they're upset before they throw up. Oh--and something else I learned this fall! My oldest (4) had the stomach flu. He felt better and wanted juice and a tuna sandwich within a half hour of throwing up. He was outside helping us clean the garage. He was NOT bothered by it. This winter, he had strep. We didn't know; he told us he had a headache and had such a mild fever we didn't catch it for 6 days. He was miserable--lethargic, out of sorts, crying. We thought he had a migraine. SO--even though I totally freak about throwing up (I am phobic), I know my KID thinks it's a lot easier to puke than to have strep, which made him miserable. For me, getting over the fear has been about realizing that my kids really don't throw up all that much and putting it into perspective. It's very hard to know my kids are sick and to be repulsed by them when all they want is mommy. They get daddy. I sleep in the basement for the week, until I'm sure it's over. My husband helps a ton by recognizing my weakness as a parent, but not letting me totally get away with all of it. I think you can definitely make yourself worse by totally avoiding it, but I also don't' believe that exposure cures it, either. Finally--anxiety is "caused" by an excess of adrenaline. When my kids have the flu, I use it to clean, clean, clean. My husband doesn't mind sitting and watching football with a sick kid, and he gets a super-clean house out of the deal. I can deal a little more constructively with my anxiety and get a clean house to boot. Finally, forgive yourself. Your kids will love you whether you deal with their vomit or not. :) Every parent has a weakness; think of those who can't deal with blood or injury or who get angry and hit their children. Anyway...good luck; it's a hard road, but parenting seems to just be that way!

I had a lot of anxiety, too, when my kids were little. You get better about it, after you see that they survive so much. It is, scarey, and I used to get diarrhea andlight headed whenever they were sick. It's just being scared of what might happen. I went to see a mental health counselour who helped me to calm down before I would get into tailspin about fevers, or coughs, or rashes, or anything. She was great, and I saw her for 2 years. I also was put on a med for the first 5 mos of talk therapy, because my nerves were just shot. Good luck to you. It gets better as they get older. Some of us moms are just wired differently than others...

C. - There is nothing wrong with you for experiencing the feelings you do - I am a nurse and can take care of others all day, but when my own family is physically ill, I have always been the same as you. I used to think it made me less of a mother and wife, however, that is not the case at all. If your husband does better with the children when they are sick and you are better at the clean up, then work together that way. I know there will come a time when you are the only one there for the sick kids, and when the time comes, you will be grossed out, but will remember these are your helpless little ones and you will do fine I promise. H. this helps!

You really have no choice but to get over it, or at least deal with it. If it happens it happens. If you're by yourself I would hope that you wouldn't just leave the kids in the mess. I absolutely hate puke as well. My hubby can tolerate better so if it works out that he's around, great. If not, you're on your own. You get over your fears as things happen. You'll be fine. I always say that I'd puke right with them which who knows, maybe I will. My son has only thrown up twice in his almost 3 years of life. Thank God!

Good luck!

C.

I am exactly the same way. I am not a mother yet (we are currently trying), but I have a huge fear of that. Its actually a phobia, so you may have that.

The only way I think you could get over it (myself as well), would be going through the experience with them and having to take care of the mess. For me, I think that'll be the only way to actually get past this fear.

Either that or you could convince your husband to handle all things puke related! Thats not such a bad idea either. Good luck!

I know - it's never fun throwing up or being around someone throwing up. But you can't let yourself get all nervous about it. If you can clean up sheets and stuff with vomit on it, you can definitely help your child get through it. You just have to be strong and comfort them while they are going through it, because it can be really scary for a kid to understand what is happening. But if your husband is home, you can definitely let him handle it, as long as he doesn't mind. It's not fun, but it's not so bad. You'll get through it!

I fear my kids vomiting too - with that being said, you're not truly a mother until you've been puked on by your child in the middle of a crowded restaurant! (Yes, personal experience.) I survived that and I know that I will survive them getting sick in the future. You just do what you have to in order to prevent a mess (get them a bucket if they feel sick, etc.) If you can't prevent a mess, you'll live. (I tend to get sick once I smell vomit, ish...)

I would be careful to not react each and every time the kids say their tummy hurts. Do your best to take it in stride and hide your fear - I say this because once they realize that saying their tummy hurts gets them attention or a reaction from you, they will use it against you!!!