So I have an 11 year old that is a little immature as her other friends. I want to be clear that I am OK with her being behind in some areas of "worldly information" She does not watch certain shows and we have had the talk and she is all ready for that, but she is quite and to herself and she is not really matureing as much so to speak in her likes or dislikes. I mean I don't know what a 5th grader is suppose to be into....she is my first. I guess I just think that she is a little immature for her age and I want that too be Ok, but sometimes I think it is not okay.
She is incrediably smart and gets straight A's . She works hard and takes School seriously. She loves to learn like there is no end to it. Her hobbies is learning and drawing. She is very much an artist. But ......... She wanted a shark room. So it is a little weird that we have painted her room and there is sharks everywhere. Her friends don't get it. Her bedding is child-ish but she insisted to have it. She still plays with toys and animals and blocks. She is a bit out of place so to speak in her grade, but she is has a few friends that are somewhat immature too.
So does this seem okay that she is not growing up ? She has no intrest to know how to use the phone, she has never been left alone. there really has been no reason too. I have thought of just enrolling her in a babysitting class just to get the responsibility experience.
What are your thoughts. Should I just be blessed ????
Yes, be blessed. My nearly nine year old is this way. My neighbor's daughter is the exact same age and trying her best to be a teenager. It makes me nuts because she wants to be with my daughter all the time and I really would prefer not to have that influence on her. She still has a huge imaginative pretend life, plays with stuffed animals, etc. They have their whole life to be grown ups. Let them be kids!
Are you worried she's not growing up fast enough?
Trust me, there are girls that grow up WAY too fast and that's an even bigger problem.
Your daughter is 11. She is still very much a child.
There is a girl in our community that gave birth at 12 so I think you should be thanking your lucky stars your daughter is still in kid mode.
I was a late bloomer. I didn't even start my period until I was 15. I was in gifted programs in school and I had lots of friends, but I wasn't one of the girls who was smoking pot or cigarettes before school. I was terrified of all that stuff.
Your daughter is 11, but she was 10 just a minute ago. There is no need for her to be in a hurry to grow up because it will happen and you will be wondering in the blink of an eye where your little girl went.
It sounds like she has other friends who are still happy being little kids. Let her be one as long as she can.
There's nothing wrong with a babysitting class. Unless she has no interest in babysitting.
I just don't see anything wrong with this picture in light of the things I've seen with little girls who believe they have to grow up and become women way too early. It's heartbreaking.
Let her be her own self and flourish and grow as she is ready for it according to her.
Best wishes.
You are blessed,
My daughter is 9 and is into things that most prek-1st graders are into , mostly because I don't expose her to the over sexed media that most 3rd graders are into these days. She's in 3rd grade she doesn't need to be into boys and dating and teen drama. My daughter is huge into music, 80's rock music, Blondie, Benatar, Heart, etc. So her bedroom is punk princess. She also LOVES Winnie the Pooh and tom and jerry. No high school musical, no hannah montana ,or icarley. She's twice exceptional, ADHD and gifted, ahead of most of the kids in her class academically but behind in entertainment. I am 100% ok with this.
I read an article ( which I can't find now) that said that the constant exposure to mature themes , forcing our children to not be little girls anymore , could be contributing to the earlier puberty showing up.
Kids are going up faster and faster these days, the longer they hang on to being "young at heart" the better. Heck my daughter still plays pretend.
I am PRAYING that my daughter will be the same way! :-) She is 8, and so far is innocent in her interests, and I'm hoping that she stays that way for a while. I understand your concern, it's hard not to compare our children to others and worry about them. From what you've written, it sounds like she is a responsible and mature little girl; if she loves to learn and makes straight As, has hobbies that she loves to do, and has friends that she socializes with, then I believe you truly are blessed. It is very mature of her to want to do her own thing when so many kids are willing to be like everyone else around them. Embrace it, continue to support her in her developing personality, and let her be herself. She will start being a typical teenager before you know it, I'm sure of it. And if she decides that she doesn't want to be a "typical" teenager (partying and obsessing about boys and social life), then you are definitely blessed. :-)
One day, soon probably, you will turn around and have a surly, sassy, rude, tween. Count your blessings!
L.
That's exactly how I was at that age. I don't think you have a problem at all and you should enjoy her as she is and not worry. At 12 I started babysitting and if she is interested in that, yes, a babysitting class would be great. Pet sitting is another good job. Anyway, at that age, my best friend and I loved this certain little doll but we realized we were getting too old for dolls. We just played secretly together with these dolls and then by age 13 we both grew out of it. By age 14 she was extremely into boys (and not so nice boys at that...she ended up hanging with the druggie boys and getting kicked out of her home. sad story.) but I was still somewhat immature when it came to boys and we stopped hanging out together. Anyway, I think you should NOT worry at all and definitely encourage her in her interests. She may become a very successful marine scientist one day (with her shark room - cool!!!). Actually, that is my field...I studied killer whale behavior and spent many years doing marine research :) As a child I was also very into art (and still am) and my mom encouraged that and signed me up for after school art lessons which I loved. I now make and sell art in local galleries and still enjoy it. I matured slowly in high school and was ready to be an "adult" (ok, sort of!) by college. Your daughter sounds VERY cool to me!
I think you are blessed, and can only hope my for year old will have similar values when she is your daughter's age:)
Kids mature at their own speed. A shark bedroom sounds pretty cool to me, and rather mature. Maybe she'll be a marine biologist! I'm not too thrilled about all the programs on the Disney channel....they seem to be centered around having boyfriends,drama,gossip, etc. My girls are not into the Hannah Montana, High School Musical etc. They'd rather watch the cooking shows or animal planet or HGTV. Nothing wrong with that. They don't like to hang out with the popular kids because there is too much drama, gossip, pressure about boys, etc. Sometimes they hang out with the boys because there is less of the drama. Be glad your daughter has friends and plays with stuffed animals rather than worrying about boyfriends. Your daughter will mature in her own time. If you want to teach her about responsibility, give her small jobs around the house. She can help unload/load the dishwasher, help make dinner, take out the trash, clean her bathroom. Those are good age-appropriate jobs that she should be able to handle.
I'm not really seeing a problem here. That's how I was at that age. You said that she is an artist, so perhaps that's why she is the way she is. I'm an artist as well and have never stopped "playing". That's just how we roll. It's not really a Maturity issue, it's just how the brain of an artist works. We are more playful than others and more independant when it comes to social life.
As a teen I was always painting my room with "weird" things. I just love expressing myself differently. I am now 40 and my husband and I have a WALL-E bedspread! I am still as playful as I have ever been but also know when to get my hands dirty and get the important things done.
Let her be herself. She's an A student; smart and creative. Let her have her imagination. My parents never tried to change my "quirkiness" and I thank them everyday for it. By not "growing up" in the normal standards of society, I was able to freely expand my creativity and nail a job that I not only love, but supports a family of 4!
I also did not have many friends. But that's how I wanted it. I was very selective with my friends and the ones I had were loyal and good. I never got in trouble with them and still get together with them once and a while. Perhaps she is happy belonging to a small group.
You are so blessed; I bet you'll be posting a very different question when she hits puberty. Although, every artist I know is this quirky (even as adults). Just keep a very open communication with her so if something really is off (which doesn't sound like it), you'll know.
I so get how you feel. My almost 11 year old son is the same. He is super smart and gets straight A's but seems to be out of step with kids his same age. I worry too because I want him to do well socially (but not too well and get into trouble). Most of his close friends are one to two years younger than him. I put him in scouts and make him pick a sport to play. He does ok but not great in these. I asked what else he wants to be involved in but he is very much a loner. I know I was as well at that age and only had 2-3 close friends and I know that was enough. We want to protect our children but have to let them find their own way. You are blessed! You have a wonderful child. She will eventually mature and catch up. Keep doing what you are doing. Don't feel guilty because you monitor her tv and internet. You are doing the responsible thing. Don't let her grow up too fast, it is scary out there with the technology now. Good luck and count your blessings.
I was that way growing up. as long as she has at least a couple of friends, she will be fine. :) She is just really enjoying her childhood. The babysitting class is never a bad idea though.
