Fighting Sisters - Seaford,NY

I have the same problem my kids are 9 a boy and a girl 7 and they constentley bicker all day. You just want to ring their necks....

Dont know what to do either?

My 12 year old son & my 3 year old daughter are always fighting too..she wants to hang out in his room & he wants her out! She blames him for everything & he gets pissed off...I could go on & on w/ stories!! I have sat them both down & talked them to death until they were both agreeing w/ each other. I have them sit together & watch mutually agrred shows together, like they both like the George Lopez show cause it's so funny...my son tries to teach her the colors and numbers & songs he knows & she tries to sit & watch Yankee games w/ him. They will also play baseball..he's teaching her how to play baseball! Just try to find things they both enjoy like polishing their toes or picking out their cool outfits to wear.since they r. Both girls they can do a lot of girlie things. Even have them help u cook!

Oh hunny...I understand!! I have more then a few situations like that in my family. I give them something to do together. I like hid and seek marker. One of them hides the markers and the other has to find them. In the process the older one teaches the younger the colors faster and better then she already knows and the markers are difficult for the older one to see because the younger one hides them lower. As long as you tell the 12 year not to hide them any higher then her chest or waist it is actaully fun. This will also teach the 2 year old how to count. Dad or Nana can hide them initially to guide them through the game. Eventually they will be doing it on thier own.

Once it is warmer out games like 3 legged races, hopscotch and jump rope are great for the 12 year old to teach her little sister.

That has to be hard. I know that with my own sister my grandmother couldn't tell us apart (we are twins) so it didn't matter who started the fight we both go hit. Now I am NOT saying that you should hit them (but I am not against spanking myself). I think maybe you should try not to referee so much. I think that it is attention and so...they might do it more since they are getting your attention. Maybe you can tell them that there will be a prize for both of them at the end of the week with "no" fighting. Maybe you can make a chart and for each 1/2 they don't fight they get a star. When they reach say 25 stars or so...you and BOTH girls get a treat together...ice cream...a trip to the park. If they go a whole week...then maybe a pedicure for all of you together. They need to work for something together. You could also have your oldest in charge of say one bedtime story after the story maybe she could get 1/2 of time with you...alone. She is probably jealous and wants you all to her self. Good luck this can not be easy.

If you haven't already read it, try the book "Siblings Without Rivalry"... it offers very practical strategies for parents and helps you to see how what we say/do/how we respond may affect sibling rivalry. Hang in there and I wish u the best.

HI S.! Well, last year I was having a very similiar problem. My "baby sister" is 13 and my daughter is 4. My sister is at my house everyday after school and pretty much all summer. So the two of them have more of a sibling type of relationship. and last year especially they would fight horribly, much like what you are describing. I sat the two of them down, told them that they needed to work things out, that if they didn't find a way to co-exist otherwise no going out to eat, no movies, no community pool etc. I explained to them individually that yes, they have to share me. Hannah (the sister) was used to having my and my husband's attention all the time, and Rachel is used to having it too. Both are essentially only child. Rachel is, but Hannah being 15 years younger than I am in a way is too.

Anyway, I found stuff that all three of us could do together and it was funny because they started to tell me..."No we want to play this game, or color this......by ourselves" and it started to work out. Now at 14 and 4 things are better. With occasional outbursts but it only takes a look from me to settle them down.

spaeaking from personal experience. I am 23 years old my lil sister is 11 going on 12. When I was twelve and found out that I had a littlesister I was pissed because I was use getting all the attention and being the youngest, although I never bullied my sister I did use to ignore her all the time. But my dad tried to give me the responsibilty speech. I was not buying it. But this is what did work;my mother started including me in little things like helping with cleaning her, bathing her and reading stories at bed time, and teaching her any new thing I can. When I realized that I would have someone that would always look up to me I was psyched. Although now I am 23 with my own son we still keep in touch very much and she tells me everything. Funny thing though, she reminds me of me!! LOL. But patience is the key try explaining that she is now someone's role model.

i'm sure this is a hard situation to deal with. i remember growing up with a younger brother that i had to take care of all the time. i wasn't able to go anywhere or do anything because i had to take care of him, and everything i wanted, he had to have, and he would usually get it over me! so there was alot of fighting. (and he is only 5 yrs younger then me, i just had many more responsibilities then other children my age). and to be totally honest with you, to this day we STILL fight! i am married and have a child of my own, and we still can't seem to get along for more then 10 minutes at a time (if we get along at all). and somehow the only times we do get along, is when we're ganging up on someone else (teasing our mother, or our significant others)...yet it's all done for fun, not to be mean. but still to this day he's the "good" child, even though he's a total screw-up. and i'm the one who's always thinking of myself 1st, even though i put my family before myself all the time...but sometimes parents just don't change the way they see their children. i guess what i'm trying to say is try to sit them down together, then seperately, and explain to them how what they're doing is not acceptable, and how you expect them to act towards eachother. and if that doesn't work, try to let them fight it out on their own (as long as they don't hurt eachother too badly). you can punish them, but also reward them for getting along with eachother. if they get along for a certain period of time, let them pick out a movie (or 2 to not start another fight) and give them specific times they can watch it to avoid another fight on who gets to see their's 1st (unless they happen to agree on a movie). take them out for lunch (either seperately to have a little mommy time alone, or together to just be "the girls" day out). anything really that they would enjoy. remember to do things with both of them, AND one on one. with sibling rivalry, they need just as much quality alone time with mom, and/or dad, as they need quality time as a family! and definitely don't favor one over another, that is the best way to start a fight. feeling left out all the time makes things so much worse. if you're planning on doing something with just 1 of them, tell the other to think of something that she would like to do with JUST YOU later, or the next day or so. and if noone gives you any suggestions that work, and the fighting gets to be too much for you (which is seems it already is) CALL SUPER NANNY! go to their website, sometimes they have great suggestions on what to do http://www.supernanny.us.com/ GOOD LUCK WITH EVERYTHING!