Sorry, this is an uncomfortable question. My daughter is 8, my son is 6. When they play rough, my son seems to end up in tears because... "she slapped me in the mouth" "well he was pulling my hair" or my daughter is saying "he poked my butt or private area" I have talked to my son about how private areas are off limits, but In the rough and tumble, I don't think he's really aware of where he's putting his hands, so not much improvement.
I think, better they should wrestle together with their dad who controls the situation well, but not with each other? Am I being weird?
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Just to add details, the kids do have other physical activities. They do soccer, baseball seasonally as well as trampoline at home and dance classes. They've both been in school settings for at least three years and I've had no complaints of roughness. There are no tears or issues when they horseplay with their dad. It's a sibling dynamic thing.
Thanks all, for the wide range of opinions! Just goes to show you there no exactly right way to parent. :) Taking folks ideas and the kids particular personality/dynamic into consideration, I've decided to limit the wrestling to playtime with Dad. Now that I've made the decision, it not too hard (so far) to get the kids to comply. Mostly I've just reminded them to keep their hands to themselves and redirect them to another activity.
Thanks again
You could tell them what I tell my kids, then don't fight.
It isn't about who did what, they want you to referee. They want you to take sides. This is why I just let my kids duke it out and if they come to me I tell them then don't fight. Don't make me choose which one I love better cause I will always pick the cat!
Stops that real quick.
My best friend growing up and her brother use to wrestle and fight all the time. I think its just a nornal part about growing up. I remember their mom would say stop fighting they would say so and so started it and their mom would say well i'm about to finish it on both of you cut it out. And they;d stop go about their lives. They are still good friends not just brother and sister to this day.
UGHHH!! Doesnt it drive you Insane!! >>!! My son is 6 and my daughter is 7 and they fight ALL the time.. they do the wrestling until someone comes crying-- I usually tell them that if they did it, don't complain because I warned them but if they get too rowdy then they get a time out.
I used to fight with my brother and sister ... trust me I have tried quite a few things but since they are so close in age they will get on each other's nerves..
I don't know about your kids but my kids fight but cannot be without eachother!! They can be mad one minute, the next minute i find them asleep together hugging :) .. Hopefully it is a phase but you are definitely NOT Alone!!
If you can give it out, be prepared to get it back!
I'd let them duke it out. As long as there's no issue with them getting physical with other kids, it's 100% sibling rivalry. While no, it's never okay to lay your hands on someone, siblings are way different...
Make rules: no eye gouging, no fish hooking, no head shots, wrestling moves only, and NO WHINING OR SORE LOSERS!!
Then let them have at it ;)
My mom literally locked my brother and I in our room together when we were very young and told us she didn't care who hit who, we needed to hash it out and resolve it on our own. A little while later, the yells died down, and we were peacefully building a lego village together :)
No more wrestling without adult supervision. Regardless of the private part issue, if they are ending-up in tears it's not an OK activity for them to engage in.
New rule: no wrestling unless there is a parent present.
We teach our sons to respect their sisters. They are not allowed to wrestle with them or otherwise try to intimidate them. They are to protect them. It's a basic boy/girl relationship that we try to instill in them. Likewise, I don't want them wrestling with a girl who is not their sister--well, at least not until they are married. ;)
Maybe I'm weird but why do they have to wrestle at all? My daughter is 11 and son 8 and they started this when they were younger. My daughter was more than twice my sons size so he was the one getting hurt. I just simply told them not to touch each other and although I still have to remind them on occasion it is not daily and all day long like some people have to deal with. I guess I don't see why brothers and sisters have to be in physical contact with each other and why moms feel like they have to constantly "referee" it. Just my opinion, good luck.
You`re not being weird! This is normal. Just keep explaining there is to be no touching privates. My brother and I wrestled all the time and loved it...And yes, one of us would get hurt every time! But we had fun. When my boys wrestle they get hurt too! And yes, it usually turns into trying to "pants" eachother. We tell them to stop then. No biggy!
Sounds like they both need some more constructive things to do with their physical energy. The description and the mention of having them wrestle with Dad instead of each other makes it seem as if this is an acceptable form of exercise for them that's been allowed to continue as if it's a permitted form of "play." This isn't playing, it's fighting and boredom combined with an unspoken idea of "how can we get mom's attention? Oh yeah, by whining to her when we poke each other." Cut it out. Get them into sports or dance or hiking or scouting or track if they're not already, and if they are, and they start to touch each other, separate 'em, and make them give you push-ups or whatever it takes to show they can't do this any more. Or better yet, tell them that from now on all that excess energy goes into one of them cleaning the toilets while the other mops the floor. Then make them do just that the instant they get into it with each other. No whining.
I think they are getting a message that this kind of "play" is OK and if you haven't heard about it from teachers or parents at school -- eventually you'll hear how your son or daughter got too rough with other kids there. Don't wait for that. Teach them to start respecting each others' space and start finding some more mature ways to play and exercise.
Let them know they will face consequences if they can't keep their hands to themselves. No computer, no cell ;phone, grounded, whatever you dole out as punishment.
Nip it in the bud now. All too soon it'll be totally inappropriate for either dad or brother to be wrestling with sister.
But I would channel it. If they want to fight, put them in a taekwondo program where they learn to control it. Wrestling turns into 'take downs', and they learn to SPAR in a learning and controlled environment and under conditions. Ultimately, they could actually compete and win medals/trophies for it.
