I wanted to get the opinion from other Mom's as to what they would do in this situation. My two sons 5 and 8 attend the same school and go to extended day for about 2 hours after school until I pick them up. There is another child (also in extended day) who seems to be causing a lot of problems. It started out when my 5 year old came home and told me this child told him some VERY bad words...and they were pretty bad. I mentioned it to the staff and they told me they would talk to his parents. This past weekend we attended a B-day party and this child was there. I had to talk to this child more than once about his behavior..he hit a girl in the face with a slingshot, wrestled my oldest son to the ground after chasing him and hit his head on the floor, called my youngest son a sucking thumb baby and tried to force my son to suck his thumb. He threw a violent fit when his Mom said it was time to go home because he was hurting other kids and was VERY disrespectful toward his parents (they did nothing by the way).
Today I picked up my kids from school and the same child had punched my oldest in the face. I have had a talk with my kids about not playing with him. But apparently my oldest was telling him to leave him alone and that's when he punched him in the face. The staff said they talked to his parents about it.
At this point I am ready to go to the principle because I feel like it is not safe and it is obvious this child has some serious issues. I'm pretty sure he is already getting help from the Special Ed teacher and I understand behavior problems, my son has SPD so he has dealt with some behavior issues of his own, but to me this child has very violent and impulsive behavior and I don't feel it is safe for other children. My son says he has hurt a lot of other children as well.
Sorry this is so long but I guess I am torn as to what to do. Would I be over reacting going to the principle with this?
Did you ask for an incident report at after school care? You should have one so you can march it right into the office tomorrow morning. I am not one to get too excited about what others say, but don't believe in tolerating physical contact.
No, go to the principal. The main reason you need to do that is for the other boy's sake. Something is not right at home -- his parents are unable to handle whatever issues he has by themselves. And if he's this bad at 5, it's only going to get worse.
And in response to Jo's comment below -- the parents also might need help in getting resources for their son, so bringing this issue to light should be helpful to them.
No, go to the Principal. They have the obligation to keep the other kids safe.
If it were me i'd be going to whoever is in charge of the aftercare program first since that is where the problems are happening. Ask point blank what steps the staff will be taking to ensure these things stop happening. If he or she does not have a satisfactory answer, or does not follow the stated plan then go to the principal.
Sounds like this is happening in the after school care program. I'd talk directly to the head worker. If you get no help, go to the Director of the entire program.
My grandchildren attended a YMCA after school program and their policy was that anytime a child hit another child they were suspended for one day. Next time two days. After that they were removed from the program.
They've done enough talking. It's time for it to stop.
If this is happening during school hours, then yes, talk with the principal.
R.,
Document everything that has occured and go to the principal and tell them exactly what is going on, what you expect from them and what you want them to do about it. The aftercare program is not handling properly, or the situation would have been resolved by now. The principal needs to step in and protect your children and get this bully some help and consequences. Do not leave the school until you feel satisfied with what will happen----You are NOT over reacting--you are being a smart, informed, proactive parent--to go and speak with them. Do it today!
GL
M
No, you should go to the principal. Given the fact that his mom made him leave a party because of his behavior tells me that the parents are aware of his issues, but don't know how to deal with it. They may want help, but just don't know where to go to get it. The principal may be able to help them get the help they need for their son. If nothing else, the school should have a counselor who could meet with the boy to try to help him. So, I think it you approach the principal in a vein of wanting to help this boy and his parents, you'll get the result you want.
It is not a discipline issue, I know, my son was the same way. You have no idea what the parents are going though but they are probably doing all they can and feel really overwhelmed.
I know it doesn't look like it but the best thing you can do is reach out to the child's parents.
I had to fight with my son's school to get him moved to the special school but it was the only way to protect the other students. They didn't want to, I have no idea why, even to this day. They gave reasons, they didn't make sense. He is now very good at controlling his temper but it took a lot to get him to this point.
Looking at the other posts I wish people didn't judge using their very narrow experience. :(
It's important to protect your kids and I have to imagine, other parents have come forth.. Now that it's possibly at the principal level, when or if you do speak with him/her, you may want to ask what they are intending on doing.. Additionally, negative behavior doesn't change overnight, especially if the child is being bullied at home, therefore, the child will need to be monitored closely... There was a kid in my son's Kinder class and while he wasn't really a bully, he behaved badly and by second grade had bitten my son three different times... in his case, oh they talked to the mom but that kid's behavior never really changed. your situation sounds even more severe... time to take it to the next level...
best of luck
I would have gotten out of the car and gone into the office TODAY!
I would definitely take it to the principal. Your children need to feel safe at school and it sounds to me they are not. especially when you've seen it first attention
im sorry your children are experiencing this at such a young age. but I feel sad for the little boy, sounds like he has no structure and he's looking for negative attention. its really tuff raising children cause we all want to do what's right and every child is so different and have different needs.
good luck.
First of all, print what you just wrote and keep documenting this case. Second-start with the principal-give him a day or two to turn this around-then go to the BOE if necessary. I can't imagine what this child is going through at home-it sounds like he is being tortured.
This should not continue. I live in Howard County MD and at my sons school, they have a bullying form that is filled out any time and incident is noted and this form can be filled out by a student, teacher, staff, teacher anyone who witnessed the incident. He physically hurt someone...your son. It doesn't appear to be stopping. I would e-mail the principal, including the teacher, guidance counselor, and school psychologist on the e-mail. Good to have things in writing. List all that your son has told you that he's done both in school and after care. If there is no resolution, send this same e-mail along with a new e-mail saying there has been no resolution to the school board. Keep going up the chain until something gets done. My son was bullied, he has aspergers, and I don't put up with anything. You can feel sorry for the bully but he has to take the consequences of his actions. There may be underlying issues that need to be addressed with the child that maybe though wanting to the parents don't know how to help. I'm not bashing the other parents but the school psychologist may be able to get the parents to get the child the help they need but that doesn't mean that just because he needs help he is allowed to take it out on the rest of the school.
i think this child should have iss or oss or be expelled. from what i understand if you hit you are out. as far as being in after school programs i'd think he would definetly have to be kicked out of that for misbehaving too often. we have a kid behind us that acts like he can do whatever he wants. he's mean to my kids and his father wants to say that he's slow. so that makes it ok? no! if he can't follow rules like everyone else then he needs to go to the slow class/school where it'smore leinient or something. not around my baby that has to follow the rules. yes i'd go to principle and tell them that it'ss not acceptable and you want something to happen not just words...a punishment. the same one your child would get if he had been the one to punch the other kid.
Hi, R.:
Bullying is very prevalent these days in the school system.
The Interrnational Institute for Restorative Practices have
a safe school program for schools to create a climate change in the school environment. The school has a problem.
Contact IIRP at www.iirp.edu
See what resources are available and tell your principal about them and
be a help to the school to create a safe school environment.
Good luck.
Thanks for caring.
D.
I would go to the principal and all those afterschool care workers and let them know if my child is assaulted again I will be calling the police. As a matter of fact, I would tell them if my child comes home not in the same condition as when I sent him to school (no cuts, bruises, possible concussions, etc) then the police will be meeting me at the door when I come up to the school to talk to each of them.
I know troubled kids need love and logic and yadda yadda yadda but this needs to be nipped in the bud. If this kid is this violent at such a young age, who knows what's going to happen when he gets older. Someone needs to look into his homelife too. Perhaps his parents aren't beating him but worse - they are letting him get away w/everything when he's home.
