Four-year-old Wets When Sleeping...

My nephew wet the bed until he was 8 or 9 yrs old. They even had a specialist come out to the house. She found two things that worked. First, she would wake him up around 11pm or midnight when she went to bed so that he could use the bathroom, then he wouldn't have an accident. Sometimes if she wanted to go to bed early she would set her alarm to wake herself up and then go wake him up.

Since that wasn't all that convenient she finally decided to start making him make his own bed when he had an accident. She always had the mattress protectors on. But she would put out fresh sheets and a blanket in his room and when he would wet the bed he would have to strip the old sheets and throw them in the washer or hamper until morning. Then he would put the fitted sheet on and a blanket. In the morning she would wash the sheets first thing. She kept it fairly simple for him but soon after he stopped wetting the bed. Sounds harsh but she was at her wits end.

I agree with the other mother about the caffeine. My son never wet the bed until I started working late on weekends and he stayed with my sister. She gave him iced tea and everytime he would wet the bed.

Hi M.!

I just had to respond to this because I too have been through this with both of my children,
both of them weren't dry through the night until shortly after the age of 6. My pediatrician
told us to use pull ups or overnights and absolutely do not wake them up at night. This
only will make the problem worse because they see this as a huge negative. They will
stop wetting when they are developmentally ready. Nothing you do will change this.
I did however use a waterproof mattress cover under the sheets to save the mattress
because unfortunately pull ups only hold so much wetness. Good luck and be
patient. After the age of six do the doctors then use alarms to wake them up.

jen T.

My daughter is six and she still wets when sleeping. She is a very heavy sleeper and we also have tried a multitude of things. The pediatrician told us that there are many factors, but she will eventually out-grow it. She has never had an issue with anyone teasing her about it, and even goes to sleepovers. To her it is just normal and we have the attitude that she will stop doing it when her body is ready. It is a developmental issue, not an issue that she can control. Hope this helps:)

M.,
Maybe she just can't hold it yet. Kids develop at different rates. If that's the case--all that you've tried doesn't really matter and may be making it worse by embarassing her and/or making her feel really bad.
If I were you, I would put sheets on her bed and get her the Good Nights. There's also something new--Underjams (?) that look more like underwear. She may not be able to help it. You could wake her up to go once or twice a night, but I would approach it as doing it to make your life easier, it won't really help her "learn" to hold it.
Hope this helps. Good luck.

The first thing i'd like to point out is that this is NOT her fault! Some kids bodies are just not "ready" for dry nights... she will eventually grow out of it (maybe soon... maybe way later). I was a bed wetter until i was 8 and it was AWFUL and i was so embarrassed (as is probably your daughter!) do not punish her for it b/c it is not her fault! i doubt she actually wants to wet the bed! unfortunately both my son (who is 4 1/2) and daughter (who is 2 1/2) are both bed wetters and of course it's hereditary and they got it from me :-( we've tried many things but nothing works and we know that it will just come in due time when THEIR body is ready. GIVE her the pretty sheets! but a mattress protector so the mattress doesn't get ruined (i have 2 of them for extra protection :-)

i wish they had the "cool" stuff like goodnights when i was younger! i avoided sleepovers all the time :-(

whatever you do, do NOT punish her :-( don't make her feel worse than she already does b/c this is not something she can control! Just be patient and her time will come. Hopefully sooner than later.

As the mother of a 10yr old boy that still has frequent accidents, the one thing in your post that I want to bring to your attention is that you seem to be holding her responsible for this issue (no pretty sheets, back to her old ways, etc). This is not her fault! There are many reasons for children to have bedwetting problems. It is hereditary first of all (my son's problem stems from this).
We do not make a big deal about it at all. He even goes to sleepovers without a problem. He just excuses himself, goes to the bathroom and puts on his GoodNights under his shorts and has fun with the rest of the kids. No one is the wiser.

Try not to place blame on your daughter - she's not doing it on purpose and shouldn't be punished for it. Give her the pretty sheets! My best advice is to go to Walmart, in the bedding department (near the pillows), and buy a mattress protector. They have the full ones that zip up around the mattress (like putting the mattress in a bag). Those will at least save the mattress, and she can still have her pretty sheets.

Good luck...I know it's frustrating. She WILL grow out of it.

Hi M.,

I keep outing myself on this thing, but I'll do it again :0) I was a bed wetter until about age 12. NOTHING my parents did or I did helped. My body just simply would not wake me up when I was sleeping. I'd have some dry periods then wet again. Who knows?! I even wet the sleeping bag on camping trips! My poor parents...Anyway, just hang in there. Use a waterproof mattress pad. When I was a kid, I actually got to the point of not waking my parents up anymore - I would just change my clothes and throw a folded blanket over the wet area and go back to sleep. Then I helped my Mom wash my sheets in the morning.

I wish we had things like Goodnights back when I was little. They would have really helped!

Maybe try to feel relieved that you no longer have to try and control the situation. It is what it is. Sounds like you've tried all else. Hang in there!

M.

My duaghter is also 4 1/2 will be 5 at the end of Dec. She still has accidents. Even though it is frustrating to all of us, mostly me because I have to strip the sheets, make the bed and such. She is a deep sleeper and I know that some children have wetting issues at night till they are even much older. The bladder is not quiet developed for some kids. I do the same and put a protective mattress protecter on the bed. Limit any foods or liquids a 2 hours or so before bed. I also carry my daughter sound asleep onto the potty. She is so sound asleep sometime, she has no clue whats going on and doenst remember me taking her. Sometimes I have to do this several times (maybe an hour or so later) until she goes. I try before I go to bed. good luck!

My son wet at night until he was about 5 1/2 years old. I asked my pediatrician about it and she said not to worry until he was 6. She said that many kids wet at night, espeically if they are heavy sleepers and he definitely is. I used the Goodnights and let him go at his own pace and it worked out fine. Since staying dry at night, he's never had an accident. My daughter, on the other hand, was dry at night before she was completely potty trained during the day, they are all different and you really need to let them do it at their own pace.

this is a growth and maturity problem that many kids have. What happens is that many times the bladder does not keep up with the childs body. The magic number is age 12. Typically by then or before your child's bladder will catch up with it's body. It has something to do with puberty being just around the corner. But there is no magic pill or bullet like you suggest. You just have to wait it out. I suggest not using electricity.
I can tell you from experience that a lot of times it is genetic. But they do grow out of it and it's much more common than you may think. Don't make a big deal over it. It's not laziness on their part. It is very deep sleep most of the time. My only other suggestion that you could try is chiropractic this does help certain children.

Talk to your doctor to make sure all is ok, after that you just may have to deal with it for quite a while. I have a 9 year old son who wets the bed. I have been waking him up every night for 2 1/2 years (he does not remember this in the morning) so that I don,t have to change the bed every night.

This problem is more common than you think Try not to make to make a big deal of it and the child may not be overly embarrassed. Talk about to the child and let them know that some parts of their body are not fully grown yet.

Good luck and I hope this helps you.

I really think this is something you need to wait out. Have you discussed this with your pediatrician? I have four children 22, 19, 14, and 7. Three boys and one girl. Two of the four were bed wetters. My daughter had to wear the Good-nites until she was nine. I do think it's harder on girls. But she grew out of it. Now my seven year old son is still sleeping with Good-nites. The other two slept in underwear at the age of 2 and never had a problem. Sometimes it can be hereditary. I found out that my husbands sisters were bed wetters and a nephew and a neice. I wouldn't keep her pretty sheets away from her or award her for something that she has no control over. Use the Good-nites and wake her up and walk her to the bathroom when you are up, but other than that just don't treat her as though she is wrong. I know my two children that had this problem were heavy sleepers because they also had night terrors which are dreams that are hard to wake up from and are usually not remembered. Good luck and be patient. She won't need the Good-nites forever.

Hi M., What an issue. Have you made sure that there isn't a physical reason behind her bed wetting? You should talk to the Dr. about it the next time you go in. She could have an under-developed bladder. Some kids do just sleep that deeply! I suggest if you have been working with this problem for a year you should put the sheets on the bed, put her in pull-ups and let this one go for a while. Maybe if you take the pressure & promises & bribes away the problem (if not physical) will correct itself in time. If nothing else you all need to take a break away from this...you have been focused in it too long and you may be making the problem worse. Good luck and best wishes.

M.,
I would not be too concerned. She will outgrow it. My 4-year-old son still wets the bed. He occassionally wets the bed during naps, but it is usually during extended sleep periods like overnight. I usually try to wake him up really early to go to the bathroom, then let him go back to sleep. This seems to help.

I don't punish him because I know that he can't help it. I was a bed wetter and used to get punished. Before I wet the bed, I would have dreams that I was in the bathroom on the toilet. Of course, I would wake up and realize that was not the case. I eventually outgrew it.

Hi Marley, You are putting entirely too much pressure on yourself and your girl....As long as she has been checked out by a ped and found to be okay....let it go...put the good-nights on and remind her that everyone grows at their own pace and she should be proud of who she is. My son wet until he was 7...I checked his diet and found the culprit to be iced tea...caffiene....we switched to decaf iced tea and it worked...he slept. My youngest of 5 is a 5 yr old girl...she still wears good-nights....she is healthy...so I won't do battle over this one. good luck, M.

You got a lot of great advice here. You can confirm all of this by talking with your pediatrician. Her bladder is just not big enough to handle a whole night and she can't help it. Your ped may have some additional advice, but you are likely just going to have to wait it out like everyone else.

My daughter will be turning 5 Sept 7 and she just stopped wearing pullups to bed at the end of May. We had tried it all too but they say some kids just don't wake up and she was one of those kids. They say that eventually their bladder gets to the point where it can go all night and that is what happened we just had to wait it out. She never seemed bothered by wearing the pullups and we didn't make it a big deal. She had a couple of accidents in early July but we realized it was when her routine changed. Hang in there and remember it will happen.

sorry to say...you may have to wait it out. My son will be 6 this month and is dry sometimes & sometimes not! I asked the docs if he could take the medicine for a little bit to help trigger his bladder and they said they don't recomend it because of side effects & either death. My aunt told me her son was on it for a short time and then didn't need the meds anymore so I was hoping for the same but oh well guess we have to wait it out! oh & they say not to punish children for bed wetting but rewards are good.

My Nephew wet the bed at night until around 8 years old. The doctor recommended they get this alarm that works with a pad that lays under them. The pad senses that they are begining to wet, it wakes the child up and then they walk to the bathroom and finish their business. My Aunt was then making her son change his own sheets and go back to bed. It worked out really well for him. Again he was one of those who was just sleeping too deeply to wake up and pee. I really do not think the amount of sleep they have makes a difference. I think the alarm was a little pricey, but it worked for them. I think after a few months they were no longer using the alarm. I would talk to your Dr. about it. Our daughter does not have a problem with this, but a similiar one. When she wakes up to go to the bathroom, she does not fully wake up. She sleep walks around and has trouble finding the bathroom. She has no memory of what she did the next morning. Once she peed in the corner of her room and once in her trash can. She instantly falls back to sleep when she is done and has no memory of it. She only sleep walks when she has to go to the bathroom and we were worried for her saftey. (we have to keep a gate closed at the top of our stairs at night). We too found it hard to limit her fluids at bed time. So when she drinks more than a little glass, we wake her up when we go to bed, and put her on the potty. She is able to fall instantly back asleep and does not remember a thing. My husband carries her over, but I can not do that, so I just kind of walk with her and guide her. Best of luck, I know all the laundry must be frustrating.

Maybe her body is just not ready to stay dry at four. Seems like a lot of pressure for four. I think it is kind of unfair to make her go to sleep without sheets. Our daughter wore pull-ups at night until six. She started wearing underwear at six, we wake her up before we go to bed, take her to the bathroom and she has been dry.
Good Luck

the one thing that worked with us was before I went to bed I would pick up the kids from their beds and carry them to the bathroom.
since they were pretty much half asleep I would have to help them with the toilet.
if I got up in the middle of the night I would do the same thing.
Eventually they would get up theirselves to go potty or incredibly just sleep through the night with no problems

I have been hoping for some miracle as well but i have been waiting much longer. My daughter just turned 7 in march and still wets. She does wear "sleep pants", thats what we call them! We have tried it all, putting underwear on her so she can feel the wetness, alarms, bed pads, pills (a certain med for this problem), and urologist specialists, the only thing left to try is the nasal spray! But i am not going to do anything else, we will just wait it out. She does not have sleep overs for this reason and it does break my heart when she asks and i have to make excuses as to why she can't but i don't want the other kids to make fun of her (kids can be cruel)!! There are times when she will pee every night for a month and then she won't pee at all for a couple weeks or she will pee one night and then not the next. It is very sporadic! Anyway this problem is hereditary so someone in your or your husbands family wet the bed. My husband wet until he was 12! Enlarged tonsils and adnoid problems and grinding of the teeth all have something to do with wetting the bed!!! I did alot of research these past couple of years! Anyway my daughter even had her tonsils and adnoids removed and still nothing!!! I was told by docs that the reason they wet the bed is because they skip the REM sleep pattern which is when the bladder usually tells the brain to wake up to go to the bathroom. OUR KIDS (that wet the bed) go from light sleep--------------------straight to---------------Deep sleep!!! In between is when the REM sleep pattern is suppose to happen! Also your daughter is very young still, i was told not to worry until they are AT LEAST 5. Also, they do not know they are doing anything, so don't make her feel as though she is doing something wrong by telling her she can't have her pretty sheets, you are just scolding her for something she has NO control over!!! My daughter was told it is because her brain doesn't wake her up when she needs to go and her response was (why doesn't my brain work right), mind you my daughter is going into 2nd grade and has already received the Academic Excellence Award in school for straight A's in 1st grade!!! So she is extremely intelligent. Well sorry sooo long but i would suggest sleep pants and just explain to her what they are for and that they are only to be worn at night! Good luck and just be patient!

M., my daughter has the same problem and she is now 6. I have spoken to my doctor about this and he said it is VERY common and that some grow out of it and others need medication to help the problem. I will be taking my daughter to the doctor next month so he can talk to her and see if meds should be used now. She wears the overnights and yes sometimes she is dry but most of the time she is wet. I never make it a big deal so she doesn't feel hurt or down on herself that she is doing something bad because she can not help what is happening. I have also been told that alot of times it runs in the family you should ask your family members if anyone else ever had this problem. When it comes to my daughters freinds knowing nobody knows if she gets dressed she puts in on int he bathroom. Plus she is not at the age yet for sleepovers. I have spoken to her about this and she is aware of the problem, she has pretty sheets and pretty PJ's. No charts or rewards will help this. I think you need to make an appt. for your doctor and talk with him. R. C.

Your four year old needs about 12 hours of sleep a night. If shes still wetting the bed than this is nromal for her body nad just put a diaper on her. Pull ups arent usually absorbant enough.
My 5 year old still wets the bed somwhat and the doctor says it probably wont get better till hes a bit older. If at 5 or 6 they are wetting during the day then you probaly want to see if there is a problem. We just did this for our five year old and all the tests came back normal so bascially the doctor thinks his day wetting may be realted to constipation and has put him on a laxative to see if that eases the day wetting. If it doesnt work then medcine would be the next step.
Night wetting is a completely different matter. It is completely normal for some children to expreience this til about 6 or 8 and it usually runs in families.
Dont make her feel bad or embarrassed about it. Put those nice sheets back on her bed and give her a diaper at night. Try taking off the diaper in another 6 months.

Have you see a dr. at all about this. Sometimes kids have too small of a bladder and are prone to this. This could be physical and you're banging your head at a wal thinking she can control this. I work at a day care and have also seen that if a child was potty trained early they are more prone to this. Don't ask me why on this, but I do see it. Let me know what happens if you take her to a dr. because that's definately what I'd do to start. Then if it is physical just deal with the "Good Nights" She's a little young for sleepovers so this could be fine by the time she's old enough for others to find out. Just tell her in the meantime to not tell others about it. I personally think they'd tease her more about peeing the bed than wearing a diaper to bed.

why not do it? it may give everyone a good nights sleep. try it out and see what happens. if she is not spending the night with other kids yet,i would not worry about it.
the new one out is underjams which are supposed to look like underwear. she may be a deep sleeper and have a small bladder. talk to the pediatrician about it if you are that upset about it. try the above mentioned,you have nothing to lose and probably a lot to gain. she may grow out of it.

First, I would have your daughter checked by her pediatrician to make sure there is not a medical problem like a bladder or urinary track infection. If everything is OK physically and your daughter is a sound sleeper, I would suggest that you just let her outgrow this problem and use the goodnights. My younger daughter was like this and I tried everything - getting her up several times a night (she never actually woke up - I carried her to the bathroom and back to bed), reducing liquids, special alarms. Everything just made her more anxious and made the problem worse. Her doctor said the combination of her being a sound sleeper and having a small bladder just set up these circumstances and she had to outgrow it. She finally did - at about 7 and we both lived through it, though I can relate to your frustration. But I would put the sheets back on the bed and do everything you can to build up her self esteem. Making her feel bad about this is not going to help at all and may actually make things worse. If she is not physically able to wake up from her deep sleep as was the case with my daughter, making her feel bad about it doesnt do any good. Good luck and God bless

It's a stage. So far 2 of my 4 children have dealt with this. Get some pull-ups, give her her nice sheets back, and let the child know she's loved no matter what.

(of the 4 girls in my family, my daughter and three neices, all 4-5, two wet, two stay dry.)

Taking away her nice sheets, to me, seems as if you are punishing her for something she really can't control.

My daughter just turned 9 years old and she still has a problem wetting the bed at night. She had kidney stones in the past year and possibly more in her kidneys now. The urologist doesn't know for sure if the bed wetting is due to the stones or not. My pediatrician said some children are 12 years old until they can make it thru the night. Whatever you do, do not make her feel like she is "bad" for wetting the bed. She may just be one of the kids that can't make it thru the night. If you have good insurance, get an appt with a pediatric urologist. Dr. Erin Moran at Hershey Med Center deals with bed wetting.

My son did the same thing. He was in overnights until he was almost 5. I asked the dr about it when he was 3 or 4 and the dr told me not to worry about it until he was still wetting the bed at 7 years old. He said the part of the brain that controls the bladder and kidneys doesn't mature as fast. So I didn't worry about it until one day last spring when he decided that he didn't want to wear overnights anymore so we then started waking him up when we went to bed and for about 3 weeks he wet the bed occasionally but it stopped shortly thereafter. Hope this helps.

My almost 5 year old boy is doing the same thing - would love some advice.

Hi There,

I know it can be very frustrating as my son, who is almost 6, has the same problem at night. We tried everything from limiting liquids to waking him and even still, he would not be dry come morning. I ask on each Dr. visit and our pediatrician assures me that it is ok at this age. He says it's likely from 1 of 2 things, or maybe both: an under-developed bladder and being a deep sleeper. He suggested to just keep up with the goodnights (more expensive but really the best ones, as I have tried them all) and be patient with him. That rewards can only do so much and will tend to frustrate him since it's really not his fault and he has little, if any, control over it. I know it's hard but my best advice is to still monitor liquids, wake her to go before you go to bed and just have patience. My son stayed dry for 3 weeks recently and I thought we were through until it started back again. He has slept over friends and I just pack him 2 goodnights and he goes into the bathroom to change. It really hasn't been an issue with his friends at all. An additional recommendation, b/c sometimes he even wets through the goodnights, is a sheet saver. It's like the crib version, only bigger to fit a twin/double/etc bed. I got mine from the One Step Ahead catalog and it is the best b/c when they do leak through, all you are changing is the pad and not the sheets, mattress cover, etc. Much easier on your laundry load. I wish I could offer more hope but if this is something she has always done, it's really just something she needs to outgrow. Ask her pediatrician and see what they say. Good luck!