"French Kids Don't Throw Food."

Updated on February 18, 2012
L.A. asks from Kew Gardens, NY
17 answers

Mamas & Papas -

This book is making its rounds. Has anyone read it? Is it a parenting manual, or a funny, "these were my observations of the french" type of book.

My kid throws food, and runs around in restaurants. I'd like to make that stop. Thinking of getting the book.

What do you think,
Fanged Bunny

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

I just started reading it, 30 pages in...its good :) It seems to be more like "these were my observations of the French."

1 mom found this helpful

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

I just read the links. My kids were far from perfect but mostly I was far from a perfect parent. But they never threw food, sat at the table and ate nicely, got down when all were finished, etc. I think what I read in this link was how it should be and wonder why it's not anymore. Kids were happy, parents got to visit with them and not over their noise and homes were much calmer. Like I said though, no perfection there at all. Just a lot of teaching and letting them know what is expected. Try it and I bet you'd like it and so would they in the end.

1 mom found this helpful

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

"My kid throws food, and runs around in restaurants. I'd like to make that stop." A book isn't going to help you with that, discipline will though..

8 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Actually when I've visited France, I've found the people quite nice and their cities clean and beautiful. People shouldn't dismiss the book if they know nothing about it. It's that kind of attitude (especially when traveling) that gives Americans a bad name. The book (and another very similar one) was written by AN AMERICAN MOTHER.

The book centers on the fact that the French don't make their children their whole lives. Children have their place, they aren't fed special foods and, while French parents certainly love their children and dote on them -they still retain THEIR adult lives. Therefore the children understand pretty much from the beginning that the world doesn't revolve solely around them and that others have wants and feelings. They don't haul them everywhere. French adults have adult time and go on trips and do things without their kids and don't analyze it to death or feel guilty about it.

Hmmmm -sounds like things USED to be here! It's pretty much the way I'm raising my kids, and I have to say -as put out as I can get with them -people constantly compliment me on how well-behaved and polite they are. People are astounded at their manners, which I actually find sad, because almost ANY child could act the same way if they were taught and made to. I'm always amazed at some of the places we go and the comments of friends of, "Why didn't you bring the boys?" Well, it's an evening out with ADULTS and quite honestly I wish your kids were home too.... I believe in exposing kids to many things, but if they're guaranteed to be bored and I want to visit with friends instead of chasing them around -well, everyone is happiest with a sitter. But how often on this very board do you see post after post about people who won't leave their kids with anyone and who won't go on a weekend getaway with only their husband and who just can't believe their children aren't wanted EVERYWHERE? It's great to recognize childrens' rights and how they develop, but we've taken a wrong turn by making them the focal point of everything -bending and arranging things to their every desire. Kids do NOT need to rule the roost -they need to have something to look forward to when they grow up!

6 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

My son never threw food or ran around in restaurants.
I didn't either when I was growing up, but then my Mom could not afford to take us out to eat until I was in the 4th grade.
We didn't take our son out till he was 4 yrs old.
We didn't have to practice till he got it right.
There was no inflicting him on the general public as a learning process.
We started with fast food and Chuck E Cheese and gradually went to sit down places as he could sit still for longer periods of time.
He never had trouble minding his manners.
We always get compliments on how well behaved he is.
We're not French, either.

4 moms found this helpful
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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

Why in the world would French people ever be rude to traveling Americans? We are so tolerant, respectful and non-judgemental of other cultures and we never try to stick our big American noses into other county's business.
Sarcasm aside, the French (and Europeans in general) seem much more laid back and less likely to over analyze the process of child rearing. I think kids get the message they aren't the center of the universe and act accordingly. The ME FIRST thing is a very American quality.

4 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

When I went to Paris I made several observations. First and foremost they really are rude, rude enough to allow two Americans begging for help wander around the city completely lost. Yes, my daughter speaks French. The other prominent observation is that the city smelled like a girl scout latrine before we cleaned.

I would take it as it is, worthless.

If you want your kids to not throw things and run around restaurants discipline them. If your first technique doesn't work try something new. If that doesn't work beat them with the book you are speaking of.

3 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

It's actually called Bringing Up Bebe, I just found it on Amazon. The intro (or first chapter ?) is titled "French Kids Don't Throw Food."
I haven't read it but it looks funny!
That's just one of the things my husband and I noticed while we were in Paris last year. French parents overall seemed much calmer than American parents. Children were everywhere, I mean we saw them all the time, and they were just like American kids and yet they never stood out. It's like the kids are well assimilated into their surroundings at a young age or something, I don't know, but we definitely noticed a cultural difference!
ETA: ouch! Just read Jo W's comments re the French, how awful. Our experience was spectacular, almost everyone we interacted with was helpful and neither my husband or I speak more than ten words of French. Must depend on the area you stay in (?)

3 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm not sure you need a book. Personally, if DD throws food (at home or out), the food is removed. If this results in crying, she is told to calm down or she has to leave the area/time out. If she couldn't manage when she was smaller, one of us took her for a walk and the other boxed our dinner and paid and we left. If she could not sit in her seat, one of us took her for a walk til the food arrived, or we had snacks for her or we played with her (colored, read a book, played with soft/quiet toys). Kids have limits, but they can also learn your limits. Teaching them good behavior at home will help them when they are out. There's a stage where they learn to walk and don't want to sit and we went out with her less, but we also picked places that were more kid-friendly.

I think that no one country has the lock on perfect children.

2 moms found this helpful

J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

I read an article about it the other day and it seems that the author feels that the French raise their children better than Americans. I guess the French think that all American children are spoiled brats and theirs are perfect.
I have never been to France, but I have been told by many different people that have gone that the French people are very rude especially to Americans.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

You CAN keep your child from both...if he/she is a food tosser (one bite at a time)...as for running around a restaurant....pick him/her up, take them out side. Respect the servers and the patrons, no child is that cute even in their own home and the homes of relatives....that's where you make it STOP. What do I think? YOU and DAD can make that stop.

By the way...FRENCH kids are no different....their folks just leave them at home.

1 mom found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Dallas on

My kids are much too old to throw food now, and they didn't throw food when they were younger, but I was intrigued by the book, so I just bought it. I loved the Tiger-mom book, so I figured this one would interest me, too.

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I saw this book advertised on The Today show or something.

It looked interesting.

I thought about checking it out from the library (that's what I would do if I
were you).

Let me know what you think when you start reading it. :)

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

LOL, sounds like my kids used to be. Sure, get the book. :)

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

Start before you go out-establish the rules and expected behavior-and tell them what the consequences will be if they do not behave-like-we won't go out for a very long time unless you behave. Explain to them the type of restaurant you are going to visit-one may be bustling and a little noisy and they will blend in-one may be a place where you need to be more quiet-and either way-they will NOT leave their seats-unless they are being escorted to the bathroom-which brings me to another point-no child-I don't care what age-should go to the bathroom alone. At the top of my game-when I was absolutely rolling in the "pony dough" I would have shuttered at children throwing food-this is an old stat-but Americans throw away $85 million a day in edible food-and children, I would be willing to bet, within 50 miles of you , will go to bed hungry tonight.

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L.N.

answers from New York on

i haven't read the book nor will i. i think my husband would laugh at me if he saw me with a book about frenchmen :)
someone said europeans in general are more laid back. not necessarily, depends from nation to nation. i agree that most european nationalities are all about their kids, but it's different than here. kids have childhood, there is not a lot of over scheduling, kids are loved, cared for but are taught expectations from the get go. meaning there are consequences for everything, bad grades in school, bad behaviors. i like that they still practice not everyone is a winner. i am tired of my kids expecting a trophy for everything they participate in. i want my kids to learn that there are the winners who work their butt off to get there and there are the losers who will lose unless they buckle up.
i don't know much about the french culture, but from what i have read (never been there personally) i like how sophisticated they are, well-mannered, well-read and well-spoken. something we can get used to here too.

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Cambell Matson is an excellent book. My kids act French in restaurants because if it. :)

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