Friends or Not?

just weed her out, doesn't need a big scene. Don't call her. Let her calls go to voicemail. Leave it alone and it will wither away...

She doesn't sound like a friend to me. I think you know the answer, or you would not have asked the question. So sorry, but it is probably time to let this one go. : (

You've just described frenemy... a friend who chooses to be an enemy. Would you want YOUR child to have a friend like this? If not, move on. There are many more women out there that can be a 'true blue' for you.

I had a friend sort of like this, mostly I always left our lunch dates feeling pretty crappy about myself and life. I should have just let her go as a friend. She had a large freak out on me last year (she was kind of unstable, and I knew that) and we haven't talked since, but I wish it had been sooner. It sounds like she isn't the kind of friend you need or want.

She obviously isn't a friend. For whatever reason, she thinks you are beneath her. She needs you around to tear down so she can feel better about herself.

Don't cut it out completely. Just don't meet with her by yourself. See her on family outings, limit your conversations with her and only engage her when your husband can participate in the conversation. That way he can be a witness if she is being rude and if you defend yourself you'll have backup.

Obviously - you have the answer...she's not your friend...

A friend does NOT:
cancel plans frequently
make negative comments on weight or clothes

CUT IT OUT COMPLETELY!!! You don't need dead weight like that in your life...if she wises up and asks WHY tell her the truth - you are too negative for my tastes and when I have plans I keep them. I need a friend not a dead weight.

I have a long time friend who became too busy with her own life and started contacting me only when she needed favors, and whenever I contacted her just to catch up she needed a favor again. Now I don't return any of her calls, I don't like feeling used.
It's okay to let a friendship go, especially when it becomes more one sided.

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Sounds like it's time to say, "bye bye". Just stop answering her phone calls.

Saying good bye to this friendship will be a gift you give to yourself. Use your energy to focus on you and be as happy as you can be even if you are along for a time and get the negative energy out of your life. Friends will come that will be able to lift you and recognize the prize friendship they have found. Just start by not returning phone call and having other plans and she will get the point. Go get your cheering crowd.

Hello, I had a neighbor who was just like this person. I asked myself one day, "Why do you put up with that?" It changed my relationship with her. I asked my daughter-in-law a few years ago if her friends were people who lift her up or do they drag her down? Friends don't do or say hurtful things. It could be because she has a bad self-image and telling you these things makes her feel better. I just can't imagine doing or saying anything mean to anyone. I recently lost a friend whom I had known for almost 40 years. In all of those years, we never said or did anything hurtful to each other. That is what made us such good friends. I think, if you are coming away feeling "less than", you should distance yourself from this person. You don't deserve this.
Good luck.
K. K.

I agree with Leah.

She sounds like a hag, you dont need her.

sorry you have a friend that has walls up. Sounds like she won't let you in and keeps you at a distance when she only needs you just to sound off. I think your husband would understand if you let her go because husbands usually make friends through us mamas so he probably won't care. If you ask your self, is it worth it to bring up a conversation about how she treats me or just ignore her calls, what will be better for you?

She's not a friend, she's an acquaintance, and not a particularly nice one. Don't go out of your way at all for her, and be polite when you're around each other. Don't make plans with her, and have something else to do if she tries to make plans with you. Time is too precious to waste it on people that don't appreciate it.

I am in the same boat. Friends for YEARS MOH in each other's weddings, been through alot together etc. But I never see her!! I have a party get together or whatever, she either says no for some lame reason or strings me along to the last minute then says no. If she does say yes, she cancels at the last minute, with a lame excuse.
But she calls all the time! And she invites us somewhere, she won't take no for answer, or has a smart a$$ comment about it. I'm pretty fed up. And I think she finally knows it, because she hasn't called in awhile. And I'm fine with it. She finds time to see other people, people who live 45 minutes away....So I feel like why bother? While I miss our friendship it's changed. And I really don't want a "phone friend" I have small kids, I can't chat on the phone for an hour a day everyday!
If it's feeling one sided, I'd let it go. Either she comes around or she doesn't!

I would not call her, if she calls and wants a favor I'd be busy with something that cannot be rearranged. If she wants to get together then make the plans and forget to show up. She'll get the message or ask what is going on and you can tell her your experiences of similar activities with her.

You have to do what feels right for you, and I would also talk to your SO about it, and how he will feel possibly losing his friend in the deal.

I'm sorry, but you shouldn't be tolerating that type of treatment from anyone. If your DH wants to be friends with her DH, then that's fine, but you shouldn't be forced to spend time with someone who treats you like garbage. I would expect my DH to back me up on something like this.