Frustrated Mom. - Lowell,IN

You are not alone. This to shall pass. My son who is now 4 had speech and physical therapy when he was 18 months. He too had days when he wanted nothing to do with the therapist. It has nothing to do with you or any thing you are doing. It is their way of trying to maintain some control over their lives since we are telling them they have to do this at this time and that at that time. I swear it will get better. I also agree that getting rid of the nap may help. My son quit taking naps on his own at 18 months. Now the takes one when he feels like it which tells me he was really tired! Give it a try! If you need someone to talk to that has been there please email me and I will be glad to give you a shoulder to cry on! I am a SAHM of 3 boys ages 11,8,4. They definitely keep me hopping!!!!
Good Luck! ____@____.com

Hi D.,
Congratulations for reaching out and wanting your family to be healthy and your son to get the therapy her needs. I believe you will appreciate that I am not going to sugar coat this...
Your son could definetly blossom with some boundaries. If you and your husband are willing to sleep with him in order for him to go to sleep then he is running the show. If he is acting out as you describe then he is in charge. Not to say that a little acting out means that however, if it affects his therapy then boundaries and consequences are a must. You and your husband will also need to be on the same page about it as well. A united front represents that you are loving your children enough to come together and say "this is not appropriate in our house and this type of behavior is not acceptable in our house anymore."
J. :)
Life Coach

Dear D.,

I just wanted to let you know that your not in this by yourself. I am a single mom raising two kids and my son will be 4 in the next couple of months. He also is in preschool and goes to speech therapy. At first he loved going their. Then one day he just didn't want to go to school. I asked him why and he told me he was tired and sick. This happened for a couple of days. Then one day he told me he didn't like to be taken out of class. He felt like he was missing something.

I don't know about your child but I think that his sleeping habits are related to his not going to therapy. It might not mean that he doesn't like it, it could mean something as little as being afraid of missing something. As for the sleeping my son does the same thing. I go from my bed to his bed to the couch depending on the night. I found that he sleeps better with some kind of noise. no matter if it is the radio or t.v. I also bought him a big body pillow which seems to help. Now it only seems once in a while does he come into my room as long as I have some kind of noise.
Good Luck.
B.

p.s.
I just wanted to say, I think it is great that you are getting the help your child neeeds. easy getting people to help.

Sounds like you have heard this already, but this is very, very normal 4 year old behavior. For my son, it was the transition to being a "big kid" that gave himfits--the expectations just wore him out.

I second the nap suggestion. I tried that with Simon and it was like a miracle. If that doesn;t work, try spending some one on one time with him. preferably at a time when he is not upset, to reassure thim that you still care just as much about him as you did when he was "little". See if you can coax him into a conversation about what is bugging him. He may give you specifics--"I dont like speech therapy"--that will not seem helpful, but I find helping my son brainstorm possible scenarios and rewards for making it go well, and then following through on his suggestions, helps a lot with the "problem solving" part of his brain that is beginning to shift into gear right now--he knows he is becoming more responsible for his own choices and his own success in a way he was not when he was "little" and it probably scares him. hence the regression.

Good luck!

Frustrated mom...aren't we all a little frustrated from time to time? Nursery school is a big adjustment. When you consider therapy on top of that, you're child has a lot going on right now. Couple a very busy toddler schedule with an active sister who is almost 3 and going through her own changes fairly rapidly and you have non-stop stress (because stress can be both positive and negative).

Coping skills in a toddler are usually very limited. The fact that your child is able to verbalize that he is "crabby" is actually a good thing, in my opinion. He's communicating with you, his trusted care giver, that he's not perfectly happy for whatever reason and he doesn't have to be.

Take a deep breath and know you are doing a great job. Maybe there is a difficult exercise he doesn't want to face and this is his way of using avoidance? Not knowing the details, I can only assume that is a possibility.

Now, to ease the sleep issue...no napping with the kiddo. Trust me on this one. Cuddling with your child is great during story time but sleeping with him will lead to bad sleeping habits. You'll feel more rested, too and able to deal with his mini meltdowns if you're getting real sleep in your own bed. If you need some tips on breaking the habit or words of encouragement, email me.

D.,
Your husband is right! Your son needs your comfort. Why not let him sleep with you, or at least be in your room? I'll bet everything will be better if you do this. Also, nap time is very different than nighttime. Nighttime can be very scary. Try so-sleeping. You're doing some of it already.
Amy

Try cutting out the nap, maybe he will be more tired and stay in bed. GOOD LUCK!

HI! D. super mom is here to help you though this, now first I WILL START OFF SAYING LORD PLEASE HELP YOUR LILLTE ANGEL GET THOUGH HIS DAYS OF THERPY LORD WE ASK THAT YOU BLESS HIM SO THAT HIS SPEECH WOULD BE NORMAL AS OTHER LILLTE KIDS BE TO SPEAK CLEARLY LORD THANK YOU AND LORD WE ASK THAT HE HAVE PEACEFUL NIGHTS AS HE SLEEP WE CASTAWAWY ANY THING NOT OF GOD THAT MAY BE KEEPING THIS CHILD OF GOD FROM SLEEPING AND HAVING SWEET DREAMS AS GOD HAS PLAN FOR HIS LIFE AMEN. PS KEEP ON COMFORTING HIM AND MOM SLEEP WITH HIM UNTILL HE SMILE IN HIS SLEEP THEN YOU WILL KNOW THAT HE'S ALRIGHT AND LITTLE SISTER TALK TO HIM A LOT BECAUSE SHE COULD BE OF MUCH HELP TO HER BROTHER IF HE LISTEN TO HER TALK HE COULD LEARN HOW TO SPEAK BY GOD USING HER. AND AS FOR THE THERPIST HE MITE LIKE HER BUT THEN AGAIN HE JUST MITE BE TIED BECAUSE YES AT THE AGE 4 KIDS DO GET TIED OF THE SAME THING THEY SHOULD TRY SOMTHING DIFFERENT WITH HIM DO NOT PRESSER HIM IF HE DO NOT FEEL LIKE IT IT WOULD BE GOOD IF THEY COULD COME TO YOUR HOME AND MOM PRAY AND LEAVE IT IN THEE HANDS OF THE ALMIGHTY GOD BECAUSE HE CAN FIX ALL OUR PROBLEMS FOR US . LOVE D. IF I COULD I WOULD BE RIGHT THERE TO HELP YOU WITH HIM BUT KEEP ON GIVGING HIM TENDER LOVING CARE . GOD BLESS YOU ALL! EVERY THING GOING TO BE JUST FIND.

Yes, hang in there. It will get better. If it doesn't, you may want to ask your doctor or your OT for a referral to someone who deals with anxiety in kids (maybe the nighttime stuff is due to anxiety too?)

Also, have you thought about eliminating the nap? Most kids get rid of a nap at about that age, and I found that as my kids gave up their first and then second nap they had problems sleeping at night around the same time. Good luck!

hang in there!!!!!!!!!!! really really it too will pass!
My first two, also a year apart..... are now 9 and 8...MY daughter quiet and obiedient.. :)~My son, cried and loved and hugged and cried for the first 5 years..
He loved preschool.. one day..maybe not the next day.. this that super, BUT.. when i would have to drop in off.. he would climb in back of our suv~and hide from me.. I would have to get out to lift him out, pull him and give him to a teacher..*while the entire row of cars, is waiting for me to drop off their quiet.. child...
as hes screaming for me... while i drove off to the side.. of the school.. and waiting to see, if anyone came running after me.. and i just waited..with tears.. streaming down, my face..
this was off and on.. for the year.. all was great.. everyone loved him, smart, kind... blah blah.. ready for Kgtn
we went.. i started..to walk him to the door.. with my 6 month old in my arms.. thinking this will be easy... and NOPE.. he locked himself in the car.. then i got him out and i had to chase him... for atleast an hour... i wasnt able to park in front of the school, and i didnt know, what to do with my baby.. finally we were all hysterically crying..i left the baby in the car.. pulled as close as i could and THREW my kid over my schoulder took him to the door, and a very understanding teacher took him in... and still he was screaming for me!!
I was a wreck, embarr, sad, dissap... i couldnt breath for the next 2.5 hours.. i was soo sick... sooo sad.. then i picked him up.. and he came out running.. with a face, that should be on every KODAK commercial... it was beautiful.. ~
we later talked about it and he doesnt even rememeber....
i could just cry thinking of it..
today he is a 2nd grader.. and when he walks into a room, everyone yells hello to him.. like Norm in cheers....
I PROMISE..YOUR AWFUL, VERY ROUGH PERIOD.. OF THIS WILL PASS~
and your daughter will never remember you left her in the lobby, nor do any of those parents.. think badly of the situation!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i send you a understanding mom~ super big HUG!!