Gender Identity Issues or Just Normal Toddler Behavior?

my son has decided he is Neil Pert from rush. I don't think the sex has anything to do with it or worry about. my 4 yr old boy dressed in dresses. whatever. its just fun : )

gender identity disorder is usually just the child rejecting gender based, socially enforced, gender ideals, not the parts they were born with.
like, for example female and feminine are two different things, right ?
female is the parts you were born with , while feminine, is a socially enforced gender ideal. it could be that there are little girls at her school who are scarlett o hara's in training, and she is rejecting that feminine ideal by claiming she is a little boy, because she sees the social advantages that little boys have at this school.it could also be that edward is a little inviisble friend of hers too (ie... she misses her friend edward )please, dont drag the child to a counselor, because honestly it sounds like just a phase to me.
K. h.

So Normal.......My daughter was such a tom boy and hated boys, searched for snakes and frogs, lizards. Cut all her dolls hair off and buried them outback!! Played with my son trucks and rode Horses for 19 years. She is a grown women now who love clothes shopping, boys, makeup and all drama!! My sons favorite toy was my pink hair brush and walked around the house in my high shoes!! dyed his hair every color imaginable and wore all black!! Now he is a grown professional man who is a handsome photographer! I never discouraged or encouraged anything. All childs play! I believe you have not one thing to worry about! ; )

For what it is worth, I practiced as a child therapist until I retired recently and although I did not specialize in Gender Disorders, I can reassure you with nearly 100% assurance your daughter is not having such. Now can a parent "put that on" a child, yes.... so please don't make a big deal about it. As at least one mom said, it is a phase, but let me be a bit more specificl

Moms who said 2+ yr old children are curious is 100% correct, it isn't until a certain age they may notice (for whatever reason) dads & moms, or brothers and sisters, have different "parts." Also, parents tend to treat their children "gender specific" (even myself and I tried not to) and favor girls and boys acting, doing, and saying things specific to their gender - even our tons we use with sons verses daughters is different. IF your daughter or any healthy curious child starts to take notice of ANY or this, it MAY likely spike an interest, especially if they want to be treated how they see the other gender treated. All normal.

I think the being called "Edward" just shows how creative your daughter is. I would be more curious to how she got that name, is it your husbands, sons, cousins, uncles, neighbors, etc or did she pick it up on TV. It may be just a name she likes, we ALL have names we prefer or like better than others. Why, who knows...

Too often parents, unknowing PUSH a child in a direction they might otherwise not ever go - my own husband was so concerned when our son at 4 wanted a purple bedroom - of course he thought he might turn gay. OMG. He had a purple bedroom for 3 years, and has since had gree, blue, teal, and now orange (which makes the room always look like the lights are on). My daughter nearly refuses to wear dresses (so did I at her age), and she likes to dress plain and unnoticeable, does that make her insecure or shy, no, she's a junior cheerleader at their private school and is "out front" all the time. Now she wants to wear black nail polish, my husband again fearing her going "goth" freaked out; I in turn bought her black nailpolish and told him to shut up that she wasn't goth, didn't have any appearance or behavior to suggest she ever would be, but if he pushed it she might just to "get his goat."

Kids go through SO MANY psycho-social and bio-social stages, even Freud and many of our developmental theorists couldn't keep up with all of them; its normal. I think the hardest thing we do to our kids, including myself and obviously my husband, is to spend too much energy worrying about the little things (thinking they are potentially big things), when in fact I see parents WORST mistakes in not monitoring their classrooms, peers, friends, neighbors, and school studies. I'm not gonna go all religious at this final moment, but if you are attending a Christian school or go to traditional church regularly I find energy placed in making those positive social experiences far more productive than toddler developmental issues.

I have written a book, you or anyone is welcome to purchase it OR to read it on my publisher's Internet site (you have to read it in chunks as they only give away like 6 or 7 pages at a time); I have put a lot of these things in this book even though it is titled "Straight Talk about ADD or ADHD": What Every Parent Needs to Know"

if you want to read or purchase it here is the link:

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/straight-talk-about...

And just a last note.... A child of two is such a precious thing (any age really), they grow SO fast. I've had 4 children, 2 still at home, and I didn't appreciate every milestone & experience of my eldest and I learned how much I missed - enjoy your child(ren), take the time just to savor every experience, I know I do now (and a big reason why I am retired).

When my sister was three if she had a ponytail she said her name was "Kelly" if she didn't she used her real name (many years later we found out this was because Kelly on Save by the Bell had a ponytail). So, if you'd ask her what her name was she would check her hair first! Weird, but kids are weird people who haven't had all the social conditioning (for better or worse). My son occasionally want to be called by the dog's name or even called mommy--so that's what we do. At this age I really wouldn't worry about it--and it is entirely possible that she doesn't actually realize that there is a difference between girls and boys yet--so Edward might just be a name she likes.

This sounds pretty normal to me. My son is 2 and has had a pretty good grasp on the difference between boys and girls for a while now-he can tell you that dad is a boy and grandma is a girl, and he knows that he is a boy and boys have penises. However, sometimes he announces that he is a girl and wants me to play along. Sometimes he also announces that he is an aardvark. I think that imaginative play is great at this age, and I don't see it as a sign that there is anything wrong with your daughter. I wouldn't worry too much about it.

My daughter did this at the age of 2 also. She insisted her name was Michael and wanted to be called Michael. (We did not give in to this - we still called her by her real name). We believed that her "wanting to be a boy" had a lot to do with growing up with her male cousin who was 9 months older than her and allowed by her paternal grandparents to do all the BOY things. The cousin was allowed to go outside without a shirt but when our daughter tried to take her shirt off - she was told (by the grandfather) "Girls have to leave their shirts on." When the grandparents bought the kids gifts - the boy got trucks and kickballs and a tee ball set, etc - our daughter got dolls and tea sets, etc. The paternal grandfather was somewhat old fashioned and set in his views of male/female roles. "Boys were supposed to be loud and active and girls were supposed to be lady-like and quieter." We (her parents) saw this and talked with the grandparents and encouraged our daughter to be active (but not overly loud). She enjoyed playing with dolls and tea sets but she also liked trucks and sports. We bought her toys of every kind. She played tee-ball, she played softball and basketball - one year she even played flag football on a boys team. She went to college on a softball scholarship. After college, she joined the military and today is a Captain in the Army. BUT, she is also a wife and a mother of a little girl now too. She wants another child at a later date also. She provides her daughter with a well rounded life with all types of activities and opportunities. Our daughter can be all GIRLY when she wants or needs to be but she is also very well- rounded and enjoys all types of sports. She is tiny - only 4 ft 11 inches tall and weighs 105 lbs but in Officer Candidate School she beat all the people in her unit (Including the males) at the Physical Fitness test. In Basic training, she was selected to be a platoon leader and when she attended her graduation - her peers (both male and female) told us that they "would proudly follow her into battle anyhwere at anytime with confidence that she was the best."
Needless to say, we are extremely proud of her and her accomplishments.
I hope this helps you with your concerns.

I just watched a Dr. Oz episode about Gender Identity Disorder and what I got from the show is that it takes a lot of behavior to really be classified as GID. Things like your daughter would want to play with boys toys, and want to wear boy clothing and finally that they reject their genitalia and all of this is happening for a long period of time. I would think that at two she is just using her imagination and it could have to do with the fact that she misses her friend. I really wouldn't worry about it. My son is really into carrying purses right now, but I think its probably because I am always carrying a purse. I am sure that you can go to Dr. Oz website and review the episode if you want more information. Hope that's helpful.

Oh... so TOTALLY normal.

I agree that it sounds normal for her age. She probably does miss her friend and is just role-playing. When she says she's a boy, just say something like "No, silly, you are a girl! Daddy is a boy, and you & I are girls!" etc.

My daughter is 4 and will still occasionally say she's a boy, though she kinda laughs when she does so. She knows the difference & knows she's just being silly. She will even occasionally say she has a sister or a brother haha (she's an only child so far).

She is playing with your head LOL she is only 2 yrs old she misses her friend Edward.Her imaganition is flowing go with it ask how Edward is etc.It is too soon for the talk on vaginas & penises she has no idea she only know where she pees & poops from beyond that it only looks different from her point of view.

First of all I would not worry. Ask her to tell you what makes a boy a boy and a girl a girl. Go through a magazine pointing to people and ask her if they are a boy or a girl, she might not fully understand the difference. I don't know if you're religious or not, but tell her God made her a beautiful little girl, God made mommy a girl, and God made daddy and Edward a boy.

Overall I think she just misses her friend. Also, I wouldn't harp on it too much. If she notices it gets attention or a reaction from you, she may keep doing it to get a reaction out of you. Hope this helps

This is totally normal. All kids go through this. My daughter did too. Although it was not necessarily a boy/girl thing, she did want to be called E. (her name is Antigone!) I think they are just exploring who they are. Being around all girls all the time your daughter has to be curious. Just go with the flow. This too shall pass. My daughter is now 4 and I do not have to call her E.!

It's normal toddler behavior, both of my kids go through phases where they are someone else. Just play along, I don't think you have any thing to worry about.

You were right when you said, "I think likely this is just normal childhood behavior. My daughter used to tell me she was a boy and become enraged if I said anything different. This went on for at least two years. She is now five, nearly six, and is very happy to be a little girl. I would just indulge her imagination and play along. You can also causally bring up gender differences, but for now, she is probably just having a bit of fun. Rejoice that she's using her imagination!!

From age 2 - 7 or 8, my son found high heels fascinating. He loved hanging out in them, walking in them, found they weren't very good for running, would play boy games in them, etc. He was 3 when he wanted to be a Mommy when he grows up. So it's all age appropriate. My son knew at 2 that boys had penises, but we didn't get into what girls had. Frankly, I don't think he cared. It's important to be diligent, but not anxious. I love mamapedia for these type of questions, because none of your friends will ever admit that their kids do something "different." I agree that maybe your daughter misses her little friend Edward, therefore she is Edward. I would play along and see if she gives you some more clues as to why Edward.
S.

She is completely age appropriate with her behavior. It sounds similar to a child who has an imaginary friend. She is just playing and exploring her world and probably is enjoying your reactions to her.

Hi E.,

As an outsider looking in, I would not ignore it because she is communicating with you as best as her little mind can. She is trying to tell you that she misses Edward (whom you said she hasn't seen in a while). Children often are not equipped to put there feelings into words and so they act out. Clearly your child is acting like Edward because she doesn't know how tell those that matter that if she can't be WITH Edward then she will just BE Edward.

I hope this helps, thanks and have a great day!

Hi E.,
I would think that your daughter just misses Edward. I would not plant more seeds in her mind about boys and girls. I might tell her she's silly and then tickle her or something, to make my point, but light-heartedly. Children often say things that we adults know are not really possible (like them being a boy, or marrying Daddy). Correct gently, but don't make a huge point of it. I wouldn't play along, and I wouldn't go into a huge explaination either. She's very young. Sometimes mine will have different names they want to be called by. It's a normal thing.

this is a phase. my daughter loved all boy things when she was 3 because her class was all boys. My 3 yo son currently thinks pink is his favorite color because his sister loves it. She most likely misses her friend Edward and this is her way of dealing with it or she is fascinated with boys because of her lack of contact.

I know you've probably gotten responses saying not to worry. I just want to add my response to the mix also.
Don't worry! My son, not long after turning 2, insisted that he was a girl. He was fascinated by talking about penises and nipples and such. He was just trying to work it all out in his head about gender. It's a BIG concept for little folks to think about!
He also likes to wear my shoes (as well as his dad's), try on bead necklaces (as well as his dad's neckties). He was just exploring! I soon realized that his age was much too young to worry about gender confusion as part of his own identity. I didn't argue with him when he said that he was a girl. I just said OK and we would talk about something else. That was a few months ago. Now he seems to have gotten through that phase.
I did a little bit of research and it seems like the experts agree that kids don't start to solidify their own gender qualities until age 3 at the earliest. And then it still takes some time for their natural tendencies to develop. So don't worry about this stage. Growing up is confusing enough without us old folks putting our own labels and concerns in the mix :)
Good luck!

I think 2 year olds are very creative, and like to experiment in being different people/ things. My son is stuck on being a "kitty" lately and keeps meowing and pretends to eat like a cat or with his "paws". I share this just so that you can see that other kids are doing it too, in different ways. :)

T.
Barefoot Books Ambassador
www.ReadandGrow.com

I wouldn't worry one single bit about this. Its a phase. If you are really curious (I am and often ask my daughter to explain things) ask her what a "boy" is. You might be surprised at her answer. I've learned that my daughter's answers are never what I expect. It gives you insight into their minds and also helps you figure out what other people have told her.