General Concern About a Very Dear Friend

I wanted to edit my response- a watch and wait approach may be best as suggested by others or I think talking to the baby's social worker is a good idea. If you could 'babysit' the older one that would be helpful. If you are the only lifeline available to the child at this time, it's important that you not get 'squeezed out' of their lives which could happen if the mother develops more hostility towards 'outsiders'. My heart has been breaking all day since reading your letter. God bless you and the children.

CALL CPS or whoever is responsible for watching over Foster Parents. She could be in a serious depression and if she is mentally abusive to these children that is grounds for losing them. You can do it anonymously
but I urge you to do it for the boys sake. They are too young to prtect themselfs and you need to be there voice. God bless you and the boys will be in my prayers. Please let me know what happens.

She is very lucky to have people in her life that care as much as you do. For her sake and the sake of the children I do suggest CPS- simply because it sounds like there is a depression possibly going on which means the children may not be well cared for. A better option would be to notify the social worker dealing with the younger child if you can.

Offer to take the 2 year old out for her- to a park or church, to feed fish... mention whatever great program or moms group you hear about and how much going to libaries and playgrounds benefits kids this age. Send her articles on activities to do with toddlers that enhance educational and motor skills...

You are right to think that she is suffering from a mental illness, unforturnatally most people of this status can't think rationally enough to seek professional help. This is where you step in. You need to find some outside source to step in such as a child advocate program to give you advice on what steps to take to keep those children safe. Those children do not have a voice and to turn the other cheek is putting their lives at risk. She is not a bad person but she is an ill person who needs someone to help her make the right steps toward healing. I will be praying for her and her family, and for the Lord to lead you in the right direction because God have already given you insight to see that help is needed. God Bless You.

God bless you, K., for your concern for this mom and her little ones. God has placed you their lives for a purpose. I don't know what your schedule is like, but I agree with the other moms that are encouraging you to give that mom some breaks. By her watching you interact with her children, God can teach her a lot. She very well may be overwhelmed. I know I was with two under the age of two. I'll be praying for all of you. She and those children are sooo blessed to have someone like you in their lives.

It sounds like your friend took on more than she can handle. Maybe they can hire a nanny to help out during the day while her husband is at work. I hope you can help her find a solution to minimize the stress in her life. She should be loving these kids to pieces instead of locking them in their rooms. How very sad, my prayers are with you all.
J.

If you are this concerned, it is your duty to contact CPS. These children are being abused and it will not stop until the mother gets help! Dont' let these children suffer anymore. You can report it without leaving your name so she won't know you are the one seeking help. If you don't step in, you are hurting those boys as much as she is.

I am so sorry, its so hard when someone you care about is doing things you belive arn't okay
I dont have any good ideas
just prayers lots of prayers
maybe try to invite her and the kiddos over more so she can see you interact with them...your house and in diffrent settings like Burger King or maybe try to set her up with a MOPS group I'll bet you can go never been to a meeting where anyone was told your not welcome...pm for more info on the group I'm in...
sorry I dont have anything better
good luck
keep us updated

K.,
I don't have any great answers. First, pray and I'll be praying in Christ name with you. Second, it sounds like the mom is suffering from some type of depression/illness and does not realize it. If she gets help, the kids will automatically be helped. If possible for you I would volunteer to take the 2 year old a couple of hours or days a week and care for him. Take him to the park/let him play outside/give him lots of hugs and kisses. My heart goes out to what type of damage (mentally) she is/will do to the child if this continues. Also as one person suggested buy the book and hopefully she will read it.

Please keep us posted. Whatever you do if you notice she is getting worse instead of better call social/family services/cps/some type of help.