Getting My 4 Year Old to Bed.

My 2 1/2 old granddaughter was doing the same thing. A chart was made for her and each morning that she went to bed and slept through the night she could put a sticker on the calendar. After she gets 5 stickers she gets to do something she likes to do,(like make cookies with Grandma). It has worked since the first night.It's a win/win situation. She's learning to count, Mommy's getting the rest she needs and Grandma (me) loves to "cook" with her little Princess.

My daughter-in-law has always made bedtime a special time for my 4 year old granson since he was 2. He gets his warm bath with toys for 15 minutes then she will read to him or they will talk about whatever he wants to talk about for 15 minutes.
Usually he will fall asleep right after because he knows if he doesn't there will be no special bedtime after his bath the next night. It has always worked for her and has formed a routine for him. Oh and it is always at the same time every night. Hope this helps!

My son turned 4 years old after my husband and I had been married for 2 weeks. We had a little problem with bed time as well. There had been the wedding and then of course our honey moon trip and now all of a sudden we were a family. I thought it would not change his routine any at all but it did. He suddenly became aware of the amount of time that grown ups had after kids went to bed and I think he felt left out. The special time husband and wife have, it becomes obvious to little ones that they are not a part of it and it does leave them feeling a little on the outside of things.

I finally had a talk with him one day. The two of us went out for lunch and during lunch we talked about how much fun we have together and how that has not changed. I explained that after 8pm I had to share that time with my husband and that was his time. We talked about the time we spend together during the day but that when he went to bed that he had to stay there. I told him how much I loved him and that I did not want to punish him for disobeying but he needed to understand that there was no more negotiating. He would go to bed and he would stay there, or the next morning he would have to give up his cartoons. He tried me one morning on it and that was the end of it.

I think he just needed to know 2 things. He needed to know that my husband was not taking me away from him and he needed to know that I was going to be as firm with him as always. Somethings had changed but the things he needed in his life would still be there, his mom and her time.

It sounds like there has been a change in the household reassure your son you love him and cuddle with him read him stories before bedtime.I send my kiddos off to slumber land before 8 before any books get read and they get tucked in baths teeth potty drinks are done before reading a book or 2 and they are fine.Only a change in routine will set my kids off for a few nites but then will quickly get back in order.

Your 4-year-old knows he doesn't really need to get up, he just wants to be with you, so he will accept no for an answer. Let him know you are onto him, tell him he needs to take care of all his needs before he goes to bed - like going potty, a last drink of water, etc. Give him plenty of tuck-in time and before you leave him ask him if there is anything else he needs. Then tell him he must not get up - his only job now is to go to sleep. You can also give him reassurance that you will check on him later - my kids felt much better just knowing that I'd come by and check on them. And do it once before he falls asleep. Come back and give him another hug and kiss and tell him you'll check on him again. Just knowing you'll be back is comfort enough to fall asleep. If he's asleep when you check on him, tell him in the morning you checked on him - tell him he had a funny face while sleeping or something to let him know you were really there.

If he does get up, put him right back to bed and do not listen to his demands. Do not be pleasant or fun in any way, but be disappointed in him. The first night he does go to bed and doesn't get up, let him know in the morning what a big boy he was for staying in bed.

M., this is the only method I know that works. I will tell you it will try your patience so be ready for it. BUT if you stick it out, he will stay in in bed within the week. First, decide what time you want him to go to bed. Next, extablish your routine before hand...kisses goodnight, potty, tooth brushing, reading, etc. Make sure it stays the SAME every night. Then tuck him in and say good night. Tell him you will sit in his doorway until he falls asleep but he is not allowed out of bed. If he gets up, you will not talk to him, just pick him up or guide him and put him back. You may leave the light on in the hall if it helps with fear of the dark... eventually, he will wear out and go to sleep. Now, if the doorway is too far initally you can start out sitting on the bed and move about 3' every day back towards the door.

DO NOT get in bed and lay down with him...you will start a mess that will never end then... Although this method will seem like a pain in your butt, it will work. Time and patience. Good luck.

Congratulations M. on your newly wed status. This alone with cause your lil man to change his routine. It's a change in his life also. Be patient and consistent. Bath time, maybe read a book about " Good Night Moon" or the Sleepy little Puppy" give him a potty time, sip of water, prayers hugs and kisses and to bed. Tell him he Must stay in his bed, this is his one warning. If he gets up don't talk to him just put him back to bed. Tell him no Cartoons, or movies, play time for 30 minutes what ever you can think of, he lose privileges each time he gets up.

*Laughing* Do I sound like Nanny Jo? This is what they did a few weeks ago and it seemed to work for that family.
Worked for our son and daugther in law with their "jack in the box" also. I gotta Poop, I need to pp, I am thristy.

Good Luck to you and God's Blessings over your new Marriage.
K. Nana of 5

If you have recently married...this is probably the thing that has your sons bedtime routine messed up. Any big change like that is going to have an effect on a child. Spend lots of quality time with him during the day...and make sure that he gets a chance to bond with your husband too. Have a set routine for bedtime....start quiet activities like reading books, coloring a picture...something to help him wind down....lots of hugs and snuggles...a drink of water and trip to the bathroom and then very firmly but lovingly tell him that it is time for bed and he isnt to get up anymore. Look at the local library and find a copy of "Solving Your Childs Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber....it was the solution to our childs youngest sleep problems....we had been struggling for months and using his suggestions we were all getting a good nights sleep within 2 nights!!!!
The main idea is...don't interact with them when they get up...just firmly put them back into bed...no eye contact...no talking..nothing....just put them back into bed and leave the room. You may need to do this a LOT of times in one night before he gets the message...dont get mad...or upset...stay calm...and quiet.
Good luck...let me know how it all works out and congratulations on your marriage!!!

My 4 year old daughter does the same thing! We found something that is important to her, in her case watching TV before she goes to bed or in our mini-van, and told her if she continued to get out of bed, she was not going to get to watch. It only took one or two times of following through with not letting her(and she was MAD)and she stopped doing it. We also played the "dream" game. We asked her for 4 things she really likes, ponies, rainbows, etc. and we told her when she wakes up in the night, all she has to do is think of her special dream things and it seemed to work. She's not coming in our room in the middle of the night anymore,or at least very rarely.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

D.
WorkAtHomeUnited

If I were you I would wake him up earlier and then not let him take a nap very late in the day...if you wake him up early and keep him up through out the day he will be ready for bedtime when you want him to go down. You could also give him a goal to work towards, so many nights in a row without stalling tactics equals a new story to be read before bedtime maybe? My kiddos always got a kick out of getting to go and pick out a new book, or even an extra book being read at bedtime.
Good luck!
B.

Set him down before bed and tell him there will be no potty breaks, drink breaks, etc after he gets tucked in. Of course if he really has to pee dont hold it against him but Im sure you can tell if its for real or if hes just stalling. Lay down the law. Once in bed, stay in bed. The Nanny suggests that if they get up once say, honey its bed time please go back to bed. The second time say, get back in bed. The third time you dont speak at all but physically place him in bed and leave the room without a word. Kids often want to engage in conversation or get a rise out of you for whatever reason. If you cut off all communication consistently for a week or so he should get the point!! Stay consistent and tell him, once in bed we stay in bed no excuses or there will be consequences. Young children, even at 4, are very smart and have great abilities to manipulate! Good luck!

First thing you don't want to do is let him sleep so late in the mornings. Get him up at 7:30 or 8 and keep him up all day. He probably doesn't need nap time either. You can have him watch a movie mid-afternoon to help him calm down and rest, but not sleep. Then put him to bed at his normal time. Then when he uses the stalling methods you need to be consistant and tell him "no". And make him go back to bed. He's in a habit that'll you'll need to break soon, for the sake of your marriage. Maybe your new husband can help out also. Good luck and God Bless.
P.S. You may want to put him in preschool to help wear him down and get him used to a schedule.

Whatever advice you get please do share I fight my 3yr old daily on this same front!

put him to bed with a child proof doorknob on the inside of his door. it sounds heartless but he needs to understand he can't keep getting up, esp so close to school age. do the same routine every night, consistently, put him to bed, give him a drink, fluff his pillow and blanket, and LEAVE. but since you just remarried i bet he's trying to see what he can get away with now with a new parent in the mix. keep it up, it will only take a few days to get the point across. good luck!

Consistency is the key - seriously. Create a plan of action and begin it and stick to it no matter what! 8pm is usually a good time for a 4 year old - start bedtime around 7:30pm w/ bath, book, etc and have lights out at 8pm. If he gets up - walk him back into his room and tell him it's bedtime - if he continues getting up - walk him back to his bed (without talking). I promise this does work (check out SuperNanny for this technique). Another thing you can do is take things away - privileges (tv, games, etc...) if he gets out of bed (unless it's an emergency). This works also. Stay strong and good luck!

I'm sorry I honestly don't know what to do to stop this, but I just had to share with you about our oldest.
She used to do the same thing at that age, and continued it for years.
We gave up trying with her, (she never did it very late anyway, just a couple of times per night) but she was so original with her excuses ! She literally had a different one every night ! Including "my hair hurts !"
LOL !!
We have often wished over the years that we had kept a journal of all her unique and clever excuses. Especially now that her own daughter does the same thing (but is not as creative as her mother was.)
What entertainment it would be to read these wonderful excuses to her now !

My son is 3 1/2 and has no changes in his regular routine lately, but has been doing the same thing for about two weeks now.... But he throws a full blown tantrum at bedtime, and it does not matter if he has a nap or not, it is the same thing nightly. He also waked up between 6:30 and 7:30 no matter what time he goes to bed.

So, Last night I tried the Nanny Jo advice of not talking, not looking him in the eye and just kept putting him back in bed each time he got out. So it took about 20 minutes or so and about 75+ times of literally putting him back in his bed, as since his bed sits in the middle of his room, I would put him in on one side and he just rolled out the other side...

BUT after doing this for a bit, he started getting the hint that it was bedtime and he asked through his sobbs for his bedtime storey and to be tucked in. So at this point I talked to him and told him OK, but if he started crying again, that the storey was stopping. He was then asleep within 10 minutes after the storey.

So, I wish you luck & remember to be calm and patient with them, yelling only hurts and leads to a longer routine....

Perhaps he is just reacting to a big change in his life: you getting married. I suggest giving him lots of attention during the day and being firm at bedtime. Each time he gets up, just put e will get sick of it if it doesn't get him anything.

Is he taking a nap late in the day??? I would def wake him up a lot earlier than 11am.

I always read my daughter a book. Sometimes she does the im thirsty, I have to pee, I have to go find my teddy bear stuff and sometimes she just throws a fit. I try to tell her she has to go to bed because we have exciting stuff to do the next day, even if its nothing exciting, you can make it sound exciting. It usually works. Shes usually pretty good about going to bed but sometimes you just have to out smart them.