My husband and I are currently sharing our Queen bed with our 7-month old twin girls. We desperately want to them to sleep in their own beds. We allow them to fall asleep in our bed every night, but when we try to transition them to their own cribs, they each wake up within five minutes crying. We thought it would be easy because there are two of them, in addition to sharing a room with our six year old. In addition to not staying in their cribs, they are falling asleep later and later. Does anyone have any suggestions on trying to wean them out of our bed and into their own beds?
I wholeheartedly agree with Andria. Get them on a bedtime routine and put them to bed while they are still awake in their OWN beds around 7 PM. Comfort them but don't give in to their crying by picking them up. They'll learn the drill if you're consistent with it.
Just do it! Put them in their own beds to start (don't let them fall asleep in your bed first) and then let them cry. They are ONLY 7 months old - they will adjust and they will adjust quickly. You must be patient.
And when they do cry, remember the rules about waiting five minutes (or longer - we waited 15 min), going in there and NOT picking them up but re-adjusting them back down. And it is all about routine. Have the room dark, music if you choose already going. Do the toothbrusing thing first...you know, establish a routine. Eventually - maybe a week later they will get the hang of it. And maybe they will cry when you first lay them down for months, even a year - that is normal separation/not wanting to sleep yet issues that are typical for kids. But they WILL sleep in their own beds - you have to make them - you are the parent. You can do it! It might be tough but each day you wait, the harder it will get.
You can do it - but you have to start right away and never make exceptions! You have tons of parenting experience - put it to work and show your best stuff....you can do it!
Perhaps having them together is contributing to the problem as one wakes the other. I'm with some of the other suggestions here, put them to bed in their own beds if that's where you want them. When you allow them to start off in your bed, it's like lying to them... they are disoriented when they wake elsewhere. It's like sneaking away rather than saying goodbye, it's not fair and it makes them afraid to let you out of their sight.
I strongly suggust putting a piece of clothing in their beds so they can smell you and maybe rool up a blanket and when you place them in their beds put it right next to them.
M. J.
The best and worst advice (mainly because it is hard) I have ever recieved is "No baby ever died of crying". I know that seems pretty harsh. I work as a nanny and I have seen it time and time again and while I am able to do it with other peoples children (establish a routine and put them in thier beds at nap time) I can't seem to be consitent with mine. I realize that it is hard as a parent to listen to your baby cry but it has to start that way.
I promise. If at 7:30 or 8 or whenever every single night you say you your babies, "It's night time girls. Mommy loves you so much and then leave the room" they will go to sleep.
When I first started nanning this little boy at 8 mo. He didn't ever sleep. I mean he would take a 20 min nap for his mom and was up most of the night. Within a week of going in after 10 min and laying him back down and saying, "goodnight, I love you"... then coming back after 20 min and saying just, "goodnight"... then 30 min saying nothing.
At this young age they can learn lots, including how to get YOU to do what they want. Babies are real smart!!
Just put your foot down and do it.
Snuggle all you want a different time!!
I had this problem with my first child and what I did takes a while but it worked!!! Put their toddler bed, pack and play or whatever you choose right next to your bed, touching it. Put them in there and about once a week just move it a little further away. Eventually it will end up in their own room. Hope this helps.
I would set up pack-in-plays, cribs, or any safe place they can sleep right next to your bed. Put one baby on each side so that you can sleep right next to the baby and maybe even keep you hand touching them. Let them fall asleep this way instead of holding them. Gradually move the beds away from yours, then try putting them down in thier own rooms.
Otherwise, don't let them fall asleep in your room. Put them in thier cribs and rub thier backs, sing to them - whatever you would normally do, but do it in thier bed. You may be messing up their sleep patterns by moving them. Good luck!
As for going to bed later and later, you may be starting too late. If you let them get overtired then thier bodies make horomones called endorphins that fight sleep. You may need to try a really early bedtime like 6:30 or 7:00. Don't worry - they will still nap and sleep throught the night. It doesn't make sense but the more sleep the easier they will be to get to sleep.
Hi S.,
I am also having the same dilema, but my daughter is almost 13mos old. If Could add up how many times she has actually slept in her crib, it would probably would come to about 4mos. When she was 8mos old we moved. So, we put her crib in my other daughters room who just turned 11. She begged us to let her lil sis sleep in the same room. Well when we moved she got ill so I kept her in the room with me so I could monitor her. When I tried to transition her back into her crib she would cry. Well my kids can't stand to let her cry. And every night they would go and get her out of her crib. I tried explaining to them that it was ok to let her cry for about 5-10min.
To make a long story short I ended up having to put her playpen right next to my bed. Then she figured out how to climb out of her playpen right onto my bed. So, I moved it further away, but then she would climb out anyway and I was worried she would hurt herself. But, she ended up doing the same thing as your twins. She would be dead asleep in my arms on the sofa and the minute I put her in it she would pop right up like a jack-n-the box. So, needless to say she sleeps right next to me in my bed everynight. Its so bad that I have to rock her to sleep, I can't just lay her down. So, I feel your frustration. But, you have 2 so I can't even imagine how stressed you must be. I am and I only have the one. And, my hubby is deployed so often, because his ship was just commissioned that he is rarely home. It's getting so bad that I'm not getting any sleep. Here it is 10am on Sun and I haven't even been to bed. It's the 3rd time this week.
WELL A LITTLE ABOUT ME:
I to am a stay @ home mom of 7 kids. My oldest 2 are 23 and 21 and they don't ____@____.com the other 5 do. I have a 19 yr old son who will turn 20 this year and still lives ____@____.com other son turns 18 in March. They are 16mos apart. And then I have a 15yr old daughter, an 11yr old daughter and the 13mos old who also is a girl. Plus I am a full-time Nursing student. I attend @ night because there is no way that I could afford to put her in daycare, plus none of my kids have ever been in daycare. When my oldest was 4mos old he got Bacterial Meningitis, so from then on I vowed I'd never put any of my kids in daycare. I hope this helps to know that your not alone in your dilema, so i could also use some advice, Since there is such a big difference in age from my 11yr old to the baby. Thanks a lot everyone for listening to me vent. Take care.
T.
