Gifts Dilemma

I like Michelle S. idea of a book exchange. You could even expand on that idea and ask each person to bring a gift no more than $5. for the birthday present exchange. Make it clear that the $5. gift being brought will not be for the birthday child but instead for another child at the party. Then you can play a game like "Hot Potato" at the end of the party and have each child bring the gift they brought to the circle, then as the music plays each child passes the gifts to the left. When the music stops, everyone open the gift in their lap. All the kids are happy because they get to open a present and no goodie bags for you, because they take home the gift they opened. Just a thought.

I hear what you're saying - we have way too much stuff these days.
Maybe you could say "all gifts will be donated to (insert childrens charity here)"
Or you could make gift baskets for that charity. Ask the kids bring 12 (or whatever number) little toys and get them involved in putting the baskets together.

Maybe if you had them bring the donated gift to your house, they would feel better at least carrying something in. I was once invited to a child's party that had a "puppy" theme - instead of gifts for the child, we were asked to bring a bag of dry dog food, treats, etc. to be brought to the local animal shelter by the birthday boy the next day. (they also had a puppy cake, plates, etc) If you have them donate directly, it might be odd for them to say "I donated something to the classroom", but if they bring it to the party, give it to your son, and he gives it to the school, the guest will feel they did their part, and your son will feel great also!

Here's an "end run" (because some people will ALWAYS bring gifts -we tried "no gift" parties for years)... and any time there is a "donate" instead of gifts party that I've attended about twice as many people bring gifts:

Used Book Exchange, or Used Book Party.

Used Book Exchange everyone brings a book, and everyone takes one home (negates the whole favor thing as well). Used Book Party, you just ask everyone to bring a used copy of one of their favorite picture books, bedtime stories, etc. $15-$30 books can be found on Amazon usually for as little as $2.

That way people get to bring "something", and birthday boy gets to unwrap "something", and the price is free to token, but one thing is for sure: One can NEVER have too many books!

You could do a book exchange in place of a gift. That way no one is coming empty handed. Have everyone bring a wrapped book and put a price limit on it, like $5 or $10. Every child gets to choose a book, possibly during a game, to go home with. This is a built in party favor, as well.

How about "no gifts but please feel free to bring an item (or items) for the food bank"?

You could just put on the invites "your company is gift enough, no need to bring anything more" or something similar instead of donations... that way they don't feel the need to buy anything at all...

I got an email invite last month saying, " ...but don't bring any gifts! Just cards will be great-- he has gotten soooo much stuff from our families and he truly does not need or have room for anything else"
I was not in any way offended, I get it, my kids have way too much also!
I wrote something along the lines of, "No gifts please, just your thoughts and prayers" in my own hs graduation announcements, and I recieved a few very thoughtful, useful gifts and lots of congratulations!

I would simply put on the invite, "Please no gifts, just your company is desired at our celebration." It is not mean, but straightforward. What you wrote last year didn't really solve the dilemma of economics, since you basically requested gifts for the classroom:)

I think "no gift" parties are awkward. Somebody always ends up bringing a gift and then others feel bad. Just let people buy gifts! I LIKE buying gifts. If you don't want to do it, then do the book exchange-my friend did this for her son's birthday and it was a lot of fun.

I really like the food bank collection idea. Another would be to collect pet food for a shelter. You could then take your child to either to give the donations.

My daughter's bday is 12/27 and I make a HUGE difference between Christmas and birthday. We have our Christmas set up and I have another spot set aside that is all birthday. NEVER combined the 2 and won't. I have gone as far as re-wrapping gifts from my SIL who sent bday and Christmas in the same wrapping paper.

Most of our parties, I simply say no gifts please. Some send a gift and if they do, she sends a nice thank you note.

When she was younger, it did seem overwhelming with the gifts. We are not from a large family but she got a lot of Christmas and birthday gifts. The children always have a few favorites on the gifts. I would watch to see what she paid most attention to at first, then I would take other gifts that were still in the original packaging and slip them into a closet for later. That way, through the year, she had a new gift to enjoy.

Of course , EACH and EVERY gift giver received a hand written thank you note within 3 days of daughter receiving a gift.

We have used the following on our invites: Your presence is your present!
I think people feel the need to give at least something, like coming empty handed is an insult or rude.

I think no gift parties are a great idea, especially in this economy. I always worry about my kids school friends not attending for financial reasons. Personally, I would write something along the lines of, “No gifts please, just bring your beautiful smiles.” Then you could take individual pictures of each guest with the birthday boy, and make a scrapbook. Corny? Absolutely, but it should get the point across. lol

I was going to try to suggest asking that everyone bring a book, because usually you can get one for $5, and then you could just turn around and donate them to the classroom yourself. But then you would have mom's buying $20 worth of books or something.

If you can look at it a little from their persective they don't want to be the only one showing up empty handed, even though YOU requested it, other moms' might see them and judge them.

I think you are a sweet heart and i totally understand what you are asking them to do, but unless you are able to speak to each parent and really have enough of an aquaintance with them that they know you, you'll probably just have to accept it generously.

I like all of the ideas so far. Another one would be a variation on the food collection. That would be have everyone bring a book - new or used - to donate to a children's library at your local children's hospital. Half Price Books collects books to be taken to our 2 local children's hospital.

I had a freind with a birthday very close to Christmas, so she celebrated during the summer (at her half birthday) so it wouldn't be crowed out by the holidays.

Don't put "no gifts" on the invite. Its awkward and people don't want to be the only one who follows the rules only to have their child the only one to show up without a gift. I don't know-I also kind of feel these invites are a little sanctimoneaus as well. People like to give to others-and they will not buy something they can't afford if they truly don't have the means for it so don't worry. My children have gotten the whole spectrum of gifts from kids-from obviously used to wow-they spent way too much on my kid! kind of gifts. They are happy with all and never question.
If you TRULY want to do something nice for someone else out of your child's birthday-donate some of the gifts to kids in need.

Don't tell them it's his birthday - just say it's a party. Then smile and tease people - "Well, nobody listened last year when I said, 'no gifts' so I had to get sneaky this time."

If his birthday were in July (or anytime between March and October), would you still not want him to get gifts from his friends?

If the answer is yes, then just continue with the suggestion of a donation. Some people will definitely still buy a present, regardless - if you don't want to keep it, then donate it to a charity yourself. Or ask for receipts and exchange the gifts for something you can donate to the classroom, or take the cash to spend on a special treat (the movies, or even save it for him to spend on a family vacation at a later date).

If the answer is no, you would be okay with gifts any other time of the year, then you really should let him have the gifts. You could always store them away somewhere and dole them out to him at intervals throughout the year so he doesn't get "new toy overload".

Another suggestion would be to do a purge before Christmastime, and donate old toys that he has outgrown or no longer plays with to charities. It will be a good way to teach him the lesson of giving, as well as the lesson of decluttering, and you'll be able to make room for all the new toys he'll be receiving in the next couple of months.