Give Me Some Strength, Moms

just words of encouragement- You can do it! and I'm praying for you!!!! Tell your friends and family that you need their support-
Heartwarming well wishes,
L.

I didn't read all the responses, but I would recommend talking to your instructor, if you take the time to explain your situation and ask what you can do to improve your grade, often they will work with you to help you maintain your GPA. I've been in similar situations at school and the more honest you can be with an instructor the more willing they are to work with you.

BUT you MUST make time for yourself and your children.

Draw your friends and family to you, pull in favors as often as you can to help alleviate some of your stressors.
Analyze your schedule and purposely carve in time for you and your kids, there is no such thing as a smooth and painless divorce, especially for children. They need you more than ever now, and they need you to be calm and patient and to treat them in a way that lets them know they are more important than anything else in your life.

I was working full-time running a preschool and going to school full-time and there were too many times that I did not put my daughter first because of an assignment or prep work for the preschool and her self esteem suffered AND she became very angry and resentful, something hard to cope with in a 3 and 4 year old. The damage and bad habits I developed of pushing her needs to the side have been very hard to undue even after I've finished school. The difference for me was that I could count on my husband to pick up some slack and be there for her, but it doesn't sound like you have that option, so the burden of nurturing and helping your children through this time falls on your shoulders. I know how much pressure instructors place on students to prioritize and put school first, but believe me, most of those speeches are aimed at fist time students who have no children and need to stop partying long enough to study-NOT toward moms gong through a divorce with two small children. At one point I had to tell a professor that a supposedly inexcusable assignment was either going to be late or incomplete because my daughter was hospitalized for her asthma- (i was allowed to turn it in late w/ no penalty). They will make exceptions and often give you good advice on how you can balance their class.

AND as much as you may not want to, considering your circumstances, you may want to reconsider rushing in to the nursing program right now, I know that it is a financial struggle right now and the sooner you complete the program the sooner you will be able to support your family better, BUT you children may need your time and attention more than money right now.

You do have flexibility, but I know it is hard to let go of one thing or let someone else down because you feel like you aren't doing your best. Just remember to put you and your kids first and frame every choice you make in that context.

If I take an extra student on Saturday will I have time to spend with the kids and still get my homework done? If not the extra $15/week is NOT worth it.

BUT, from what I read you are determined and organized and STRONG you and your children WILL get through this and eventually life WILL get a bit calmer.

How lucky your children are to grow up with your strong and determined example!

But seeing your list makes me feel a little faint just imagining it. I don't think I could carry that weight, myself. I'm not sure if there's anything you can offload or put off on there, but if there is, let something go. (for example, can the class you are in be taken pass/fail? Talk to a counselor at your school to discuss options. Can you skip a semester this winter until the divorce stuff is out of the way? Drop the tutoring?)

Here are some ideas that have helped me a little at similar times. Try to focus on one thing at a time. Juggle one ball, not all of them, and keep a list so that you can switch to the next ball. Keep the list on paper so you can check off items - that makes it seem like things are getting done, instead of like an endless treadmill. Make sure your kids are safe and loved, and put off everything else for them for now, don't worry about playdate juggling or activities too much for the moment. Ask all of their friends and your friends for help - don't be embarrassed because we all need to reach out, especially us working moms. Your turn to give back to other moms will come.

And schedule some time once a week when you can put all of this out of your mind and be you, not mom, not worker, not student. Even if it's just a half-hour for a walk alone, or a visit to the library to browse and not check anything out, or sitting at the coffee shop not thinking about anything at all.

Best wishes to you! I'm from a family with a lot of strong women (grandma, great-grandma) who did some amazing things for their families in times of crisis. Your kids and their kids will appreciate what you're doing someday.

You are awesome. I am glad you are getting rid of your abusive husband and I wish you the best of luck in your career challenges. Here is my solution in life these days: papers plates, baths and laugh a lot. You go girl!

Wow, you do have a lot going on mommy! Step back and take a complete inventory of what you have going on right now. Set priorities to all your activities. You will probably find that some things you can push off or wait to do until later. Your children come first, of course you know that. Since you are getting a divorce, your education is very important as well so that you can provide a nice living for you and your children. You need to work for money, but maybe you can find a way to streamline or pick and choose what you are doing so that you have a more stable schedule. If you are like most moms, you have put yourself last on the list. This only works for so long before you suffer, your kids suffer, your work suffers, and your classes suffer. You have to try to objectively look at the situation so that you can more effectively organize the time you do have, for everyone's sake. You may have set unrealistic expectations for yourself with how much you can do and how well you can do it all. Maybe you don't have to get an A in every class, but you certainly do need to do well enough so that you are learning the content and are being a successful student. That is why you should step back, look at your expectations, and look at your priorities. I stayed a single mom of 2 boys who are close in age when they were little who had a non-involved father who contributed little to the boys financial care as well. I worked 2 or 3 jobs but also downsized to a rental house close to school, and I had to force myself to make sure I still took care of myself. It is hard and there is really no way you won't be super busy, but at least you can try to look at things in such a way that you can make it flow a little better and focus most on the things that matter most. Good luck, and I know you can do it! Lastly, if you have family around, use them as your support system as much as you can. I cannot tell you how much it helped me when my parents would take the boys overnight a few times a month!

Dear N.,

I have not been in your situation, but you could certainly use some encouragement! I'm a mother of 2 small children and also a full time college professor. YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING! Congratulations to you for working so hard to make a better life for yourself and your family! I know what a challenge it is, and what a sacrifice you and your kids are making for you to get this education. It will all be worth it! Don't let one bad grade destroy your confidence. Go and talk to your instructor about the grade, about your situation and about the class. Let them know how important your education is to you! They are (or should be) there to mentor you and help you succeed in any way that they can. If you are normally an A student, then you have nothing to worry about.
Try to be as organized as possible with your time. Get some sleep. Make sure that you are eating healthy meals, too. Many of my students are in similar situations as you. And although it's very, very difficult at times, they do make it through : )
Good luck! Don't give up!

I'm able to relate to your stress level. I have three very active and busy kids with full schedules of their own. I manage the house and own my own business. I am a girl scout leader and help the PTA. Most days, I feel like a zombie. First, you absolutely must find more help with the kids. Of course work and school are very important so you can go forward without your soon-to-be-ex. But as bad as it seems now, it will get better. If you don't find a way to relax, you will end up very ill. Maybe you could cut some of the work out of your schedule, like don't work on Fridays for example - so that can be your down time day with the kids and for yourself. Something good to look forward to. Soon enough, they will be in school all day long, and it will become so much easier. As frustrating as it is, keep a positive mind and keep looking forward. Good luck!

Wow, you do have a full plate!
You might consider taking some time to learn energy tapping. It's a powerful stress management technique. You can either pick it up online through videos~youtube~or check out one of my classes at Wright College. The next one is geared for Better Test Taking & Study Skills and is scheduled for September 23 at 6pm.

Keep your head up!!! Your children will look back and know that mom made it happen! If you want something you have to go get it and that's what your teaching them.

It will be different if you was putting a guy 1st and your kids last.

I'm a single mom too and I'm vey busy. I sat my kids down and I talked to them and I always let them know how proud I am of them.