Give Teacher with Bad Reputation a Chance?

As a previous teacher myself I would caution you to believe all that you hear. Each childs' experience with a specific is uniqueky different. There are a lot of factors that create the atomsphere of a classroom ~ size, student makeup, personalitieis of the students as well as the parents. It is not always the teacher but a combonation of all these factors. I have has some great classes and some poor classes.

On a parent note, my 2 school age children have had wonderful experiences with some of the "unfavored" teachers, I had a son who was a bad fit for a particular classroom this past year. I knew it going into but did not clue him. His behavior and opinions needed to be objective for him to succeed. I did have him moved mid-November to a different teacher but at that time I had "proof" for lack of a better word that the classroom was a bad fit. ANd the move was his choice as well as mine!

I'm with Karen, the teacher who wrote that "tough" can be good, "mean" can be damaging.

I worked in Title I for a number of years and also experienced with my own sensitive son what a mismatch with a teacher can produce. Even though I had good feelings about my son's teacher and had good reports from other parents it still ended up being the wrong placement for my son. Yelling in a kindergarten classroom along with other actions caused my son to fear school. I don't think I need to tell you how dearly I wish I could go back and change that situation.

If I were in your position I would meet the teacher and ask her and the principal to observe her classroom well before the end of this school year. Especially with a child with challenges you have the right to that. Watch how the children react to her. I really enjoyed working with fourth graders because frequently they are still open, running up and showing their work, hugging, etc. A depressed fourth grade class or children showing avoidance would set off warning bells in my mind. In my opinion, parents need to view themselves as their child's advocates. Carefully listen to your instincts, NO ONE knows your child like you do. If you meet with resistance to observe the classroom listen to what that tells you. Teachers/schools should work WITH parents to educate children. Closed door policies, or 'teachers are the professionals, you don't know anything' attitudes should be suspect.

Remember when you boil everything down, your job is to raise your son to be confident and successful. A teacher that doesn't have that same goal can and should be avoided.

Good luck with your decisions!

Be proactive !If your child is sensitive a teacher like this will do more harm than good.If you have heard this from alot of parents and kids than I would not ignore it.I am sure there are many wonderful teachers in your son's school that he could be assigned to.

It enrages me that there are still teacher's like this around.Some might advise that your child will have to be exposed to teachers/adults like this at some stage and that you cannot over protect him.My advice as a mother and teacher is that no 9/10 yr old should be subject to this.You are your child's best advocate!!Get on this asap as I'm sure many more parents will be asking for the same.Remind the principle that your child is sensitive and this teacher will not be a good fit for him.I'm sure it will not have been the first time she/he has heard this.Good Luck!!

Hi,
I'm sure you will get lots of advice, but I'd like to add a few things to consider. First, whatever you do, the attitude you share with your child, or with your friends that your child picks up, will color his feelings towards teachers, as well as about his ability to cope. If you are fearful, he will sense it, and this will be more disabling than any teacher choice. So I encourage you to think of this as an opportunity to find out what about this teacher might/might not be a match for your son. You may wish to meet with her to discuss what your son's learning style requires for support. And when considering other people's opinions, I've found that what is a good/bad placement for one child may be the opposite for another. Sometimes a teacher is "grizzly" with parents who are protective and poor communication grows, and at the same time the same teacher is thorough and challenging with her students. And only the parents who are open to listen to her really know what is going on. So, try to listen to the parents who are fair with their judgements, make your choice, and whatever you do, don't share it with the rumor mill, as this is about your son, not the teacher. As an aside, does your son have someone in the school/community who he can check in with regarding strengthening his confidence? Best of luck with your decision.

Do you have an opportunity to volunteer in her class? Or maybe you could set up a conference with her? This might let you see for yourself if the match between you all will be good or not. If you do it prior to the new year it will be much easier than switching.

This is such a hard topic for me, as I am a fourth grade teacher AND a mother. I believe that teachers should nurture their students' emotional health as well as encourage academic success. Most teachers manage to do both (and much more) very well. However, if you've been told by several people that she is harsh, it might be true. Different teachers have different approaches. Having said that, I also know that some teachers get bad reputations undeservedly. I would suggest you speak to the principal about it and tell him/her your concerns. Unfortunately, now that the class lists are made, it's harder to change them b/c the teacher will know that you've forced the change. However, it's not impossible to do, and you have to take your son's emotional wellbeing into consideration. It can be a long year if he doesn't feel safe.
Goodluck!

Hi P.,

Tough call I know. I had a similar experience with one of my twin daughters. It was especially difficult as she was always 'compared' to her dominant sister. As a family we were able to counterbalance things, and since she loved her sister so much, people comparing them didn't seem to affect her as much as one would think, especially since the dominant sis pretty much put others (including their teachers BTW) in their place whenever appropriate to do so! We would discuss situations and then practice with our girls at home what and how to say something respectfully back in return when and if necessary, the next time it happened. This taught our girls self-reliance I believe. This particular teacher was labeled a 'meanie' teacher as well. Anyway, each of their Spirits were stronger than either of their 'ego-minds' I believe...Turns out everyone concerned was wrong anyway as the 'smaller, slower, not as smart in math one' went on to graduate 6 months earlier from High school by her own choice and hard work than her sister, entered college early, graduated with honors with a degree in psychology a full semester early from there as well...went on to summer school to qualify for a masters program the followig Fall and is currently finishing up her degree in OT and heading out to Colorado for her affiliation...she is having herself a blast! So there, Ms____so and so...can't even remember the woman's name today! ha ha ha. Apparently, sometimes resistance makes us stronger. This one is definitely a tough call though P., as you mentioned your son has some challenges, and as a professional myself that worked in the school system, I realize teachers are like anyone else..they make mistakes...and most likely following your ever important ever so wise maternal gut feeling that a gentler teacher would be a better fit for him is simply the right thing for you to do. And, if this is the case I favor your not settling with anything less then what you believe is right for your son. Write a letter. Choose words that are proactive. Keep the focus on what is best for your son, and not on whats' wrong with this teacher. That will most definitely help you. Choose your words extra carefully and be certain to edit it over and over before you deliver it, as you do not want your son to be 'targeted' as a troublemaker, i.e. If your son works with any specialists' ask them to support you by writing a few lines of recommendation. If you think it helpful, get a recommendation from your pediatrician. Take guilt and worry and fear out of your vocabulary and rest in knowing you are your son's greatest teacher and wisest caretaker. Be Peace, Nz

P.,

Personally, I would talk to the principal and tell him/her your fears. Also let the know that you will pull your son if there are any issues and ask for him to be reassigned.

It is possible that this teacher is "tough" and that the kids in her class are asked to learn. Fourth grade is a hard year. Kids are not little, but not big yet either. Also, some parents are a little nuts about their "babies" It could all be a big "look what she did to me!" Ask the parents if their children learned anything that year, or was it all torment. Did they speak to the principal, did they talk to her? Wouldn't the district have gotten rid of her if she was such a problem?

My last suggestion is are you willing to go to the teacher with your fears and ask her about what you've heard? That you want to support her, but you also want to support your son... Don't give up, but don't just accept what others say, ask questions.

I dont know if your school is like ours but in our school they put kids with teachers that have similar personalities and learning styles.They also take into consideration the current teacher and who they think would be a good fit for each student. You should ask about their process in choosing teachers. If its just a random process, and what you have heard about the teacher is true, I would request a different teacher.
Remember though, kids hear alot of things about teachers. Not all of it is true. My daughter was very dissapointed last year with the teacher she was given(she is in 2nd grade now)She said she didnt want that teacher because she was "mean" and yelled at the kids also. I decided that we would give it a shot and dont regret that decision at all. The teacher does NOT yell at the kids(despite what a select few children told my daughter) and she is the nicest most positive teacher I have met. She is also a PERFECT match for my eager to learn/ hands on learning child. My daughter now loves her teacher.
Sometimes peoples opinions and perceptions are a little biased because no one wants to hear their child say the teacher is mean to them. Plus, kids tend to exagerate their punishments a bit especially if they were embarrased or felt as if the teacher just didnt understand.
If you do find out the teacher does yell at the kids, go to the principal. Teachers are not allowed to "yell" at students. They have been trained in many forms of discipline and have to follow school policy. I have never seen a school allow or condone yelling for any reason.

Can you talk to any parents who have had children in this teacher's classes? I would recommend doing that...and then if they agree with the reports, ask for a new teacher for your son.

I had a horrid teacher in third grade, myself - and she ruined school for me from then on. Gave me an ulcer, too - Bonus!

Good Luck!

This is a very tough issue because usually you cannot determine who a child's teacher would be, particularly based on hearsay. However, if your child already doesn't want this teacher, I think you need to sit down with the principal. If that doesn't satisfy you, meet with the superintendant of schools. Teachers are protected by unions and it's important not to let people gang up on a staff person. However, if your son has specific issues, the school is obligated to address them. "Tough teachers" in general aren't always a bad thing, because kids learn to deal with challenges. But 9 is a bit young to have to deal with this. If a lot of parents have problems with her which are documented and specific, not based on hearsay, then it's time for a meeting. or two.

If you have an open mind, and don't talk to your son ahead of time about how "mean" the teacher is, chances are that he will go to school thinking she's just like any other teacher - "just a teacher". My son had a hideous teacher for his English teacher in 5th grade. I tried talking to her, he tried every way he could to please "Mrs. T" - he even wrote her a story on his own time, but she wouldn't even look at it! How's that? A budding author, and the teacher won't look at what he wrote??? We dealt with it by using humor. He did his work, and got through the year - and you know what? The following year she RETIRED!! LOL Sometimes if the teacher does turn out to be "tough", you can talk to them - but that can backfire on a kid - you have to be careful not to solve all their problems FOR them. Go to the parent-teacher meetings, talk to the teachers and get to know them in the normal course of things - picking up, dropping off, and get a feel for the teacher and her "style", and make sure your son knows that everyone has their own individual way of doing things. Just because Miss W did things one way, doesn't mean Mrs. P is "mean" because she does things another way, or wants things "different". Play it by ear, but play it low-key. If you get tense, your child will get tense - and then even if there isn't a problem - you will have a problem on your hands, because the child will be stressed! Good luck!

I would (and have!) request a meeting before the end of this school year. With his new teacher. Explain how you are excited about him starting the 4th grade, and ask how you can help her make this a great year! As her what she expects from her students and parents (it may give you some insite to her madness).
Ask Her if you could be a room mom. Be a reliable person in the room, help her out with all sorts of things, be an ear for her. It made a big difference in my sons 4th grade class this year. If you feel that she would not be right for your child, at that point I would talk to his 3rd grade teacher or the principal to secure a better suited teacher for him.

Hello! As a mom and a fourth grade teacher myself, I know that often different personalities in children and teachers can make for either a very good or very long year! I would do my own research first and find out about the teacher before going by what you've heard. It's possible also that the children who categorize the teacher as "mean" had problems in the class such as behavior that you somehow did not hear about. It's very possible that your child may work well with this teacher and the experiences of each child are always very different. Too often parents are quick to bad mouth a school or a teacher without looking into the issue and finding out the whole story. Try to just see another side before making your decision!

Hey P., it's B., are you talking about KL? Remember last year when I was worried about that with Logan, well, nothing to worry about. She's really nice and a good teacher. Gives homework Monday thru Thurs which is good and Logan really really likes her. When you sit down with her before S goes in the fall, I think you'll be satisfied. She laughs and pleasant and I should know cause every other Friday I'm with her all day in Earthwalk and she likes to do fun stuff with the kids. After writing all this, I hope we're talking about the same teacher. Let me know ok? She's not mean at,all. Also, he'll be with Logan. B.

I was in your spot last Sept.. I heard all kinds of negative things about my daughter's teacher - and it turns out she is wonderful! My daughter loves her and doesn't want to leave her this year! What I found out was, she was tough and got that reputation because of the kids she had in class the last couple years.. they were tough kids and needed more structure and more discipline.. This year is completely different, the kids are cooperative and there's only one or two that need "extra attention" so she's having a wonderful year and she's fabulous! All the kids love her! As parents, we are in shock! I say send him and if there is a problem, address it to the principal to change classes.. usually, teachers and principals have meetings before school starts to assess each kid's needs and which teaching styles they will thrive with-they may think this is who he needs or maybe, the teacher just had a few years of tough students.... good luck..

Hi. I'm a teacher (and an older mom, too!). How well do you know the parents who're reporting the teacher's behavior? Is there an incidence of yelling? To me, that's a deal breaker, sensitive kid or no sensitive kid. Go meet with the principal and ask about it directly. Are there complaints? If there are, or if you can find a specific instance from a parent first-hand (whom you know doesn't have other contextual things going on), you have a right to steer clear and and ask for another teacher. Have you met the teacher?

You could also go in and observe a class or two. If your son does get placed with her, go volunteer if you can in the class at the start of the year. You'll know soon enough if the bad rap is true. Tough teachers can be great; mean teachers (in my experience) do damage. That's my (more than!) two cents.

I'm the type to look for possible problems and fix them before they become a problem - most moms are (which is why we have a lot of those safety things in our homes).

I'd ask if your child can be moved because you fear a problem because of who your child is. You know your child best - always remember that.

I know my son cries if people look at him the wrong way and he wouldn't do well with a 'tough' or 'mean' teacher... If your son is the same and if the school didn't realize that, you need to bring it to their attention.

Good luck.

Hi P.,

we were in a similar situation when my son was younger. I told my son to keep an open mind (as did I). We both ended up not having a problem with the teacher. She wasn't mean and I could talk to her no problem. I hope everything works out ok for you as well. : )

You are in the position I was in last year. My son is like yours. He is on an IEP and has special needs. He was assigned a teacher that every time I mentioned her name I got negative comments from parents, kids and two teachers. They all suggested that I contact the school and have him placed with a more sensitive teacher. I called the principal and his IEP team and was told that my I had nothing to fear and that my son would do well in her class. I kept fighting but he was placed in her class. BIG mistake. She was kind of negative on our first PTA meeting but it was the beginning of the year and my son is a puzzle (he has aspergers) so I understood her not getting what he is about. But we had a meeting for his middle school transition with his present IEP teachers and the middle school teachers. I was so uncomfortable. His teacher had little input and was almost combative. They were trying to create a program for his and when they asked her she either shrugged her shoulders or snapped that she didn't know. I mini fight insued. When they asked about him being respondsable for his assignments his sped teacher says he writes them in his notebook and his teacher muttered under her breath "ya if he can READ his writting" she was very unprofessional and negative. Sorry so long but I am still angry about that meeting and I am not sure what my next move should be. I want to call the school and voice my take on the meeting. So if I could do it again I would have fought harder to have him placed with a teacher more suitable to his needs because we as parents know our children and what works for them. I wish you the best of luck.

Oh Dear, you have stumbled on one of my greatest fears. In my opinion.....change him to a different classroom. He only goes through the fourth grade once and in these early years any bad expirience can jade his opinion of school and learning. You don't want him to dread getting up everyday and going to school. Don't give her a chance. Your are an advocate for your son. I am sorry for my rant, I think I must be talking from my own experiences as a child.

Hi P., Go with your gut. Making the change to another class NOW will be easier (and better) for your son rather than after school has begun. If you are not feeling confidant and positive about this teacher being a good match for your little boy you probably aren't going to feel any different by the end of the summer. Your son already appears to be distressed by this placement too. You are his advocate, you can change it for him. The administration may give you all kinds of reasons why you shouldn't change classes but remember, they are grouping large numbers of children,your son may not be their top priority, but he certainly is yours.
Go for it! Good Luck!

I have suggestions, although they are quite similar to each other. First, arrange to have a meeting (preferably in person, but an over the phone meeting can substitute because it's better than nothing) with the school's principal. And, if the school has a school counselor, have a meeting with the counselor (this one should really be in person, if possible). Discuss your concerns, being careful not to do too much finger pointing at the teacher, but just state that you have heard some unfavorable things and YOU are rather over-protective and uneasy with the possible results of your child being in that teacher's class.

If you are not pleased with the results of the discussion(s), then you can make a decision to "try or change". If you decide to change, make the request and have it taken care of before the start of school. If you decide to try, then make a strong request that you be notified immediately if any problems should arise or if there is a noticeable change in your child's behavior or performance.

If you are going to try, you may also consider arranging a meeting with the teacher, not to reveal your concerns, but to actually meet her, get to know her (feel her out) a little bit, and to explain that you would like to be the first person notified immediately if there are any problems or changes in your child's behavior or performance.

I had a mean, unfair teacher in the 4th grade and some kids had a real problem in that class. But, for some reason, I (and some others) did just fine. So, you never really know. So, it could be ok to give it a try, but I would recommend keeping your eyes on things and maintaining contact/communication with the school and the teacher. Good luck!

P.,
My son is not yet in school, but I can speak as a an adult who vividly recalls living through a similar situation in the fifth grade. The teacher I was assigned too came with a similar "rap sheet"; I was a very outgoing kid who loved school so my busy mother didn't pay much attention to my fears or the bad reputation the teacher had. I have never gotten over it. The stories were true, she was terrible and I resented that my parents didn't fight to keep me out/get me out of that classroon. I missed many days of school that year and saw most of fellow students routinely cut down. Collectively, we felt like an unlucky bunch with no one to turn to. If it were my child, I would start to politely and assertively request a change now. Why risk it?