Gluten Free Holiday Dinner

Well the mashed potatoes should be ok... meat and plain veggies should be ok. If you are bringing him the biscuits then I think that there will be plenty in the way of main dinner that he can have. Maybe bring a fruit or veggie platter (or cheese and meat) as an appetizer and a gluten free/dye/chocolate free dessert. Then all bases will be covered. Kudos to you, those are hard restrictions when you have a little one. I am trying to tackle gluten free for my little one and keep failing just with that. She is not celiac but has a possible sensitivity so the fact that it is not set in stone makes it really hard.

I am not sure if you are going gluten free out of your own choosing or if this is a health sensitivity/risk so you make doctor suggested modifications.

If it were me, I would not ask any modifications to be made on our behalf. I would ask if there was something needed for the meal...and opt to bring something gluten free. I think it is totally reasonable to bring a few items that your son will eat. Maybe try feeding him a good meal before heading over to grandma's house...so he is not so hungry.

Good luck!!

Unfortunately, I think the onus is on you to provide food your child can eat. I have friend and family who are GF and they all bring their own things. As someone who tries to be an exceptionally good hostess I try to also prepare things that are GF. For example, when my kids' friend who is GF comes over for one of their summer parties, I make sure I make him some roasted potatoes, serve regular potato chips, have plain grilled chicken and salad for him, watermelon, and GF ice cream. Of course I make these for other guests so he's not singled out, but I make sure that he knows what is GF. That said, he and his mom don't expect this and before they really trusted that I "got it" about being GF, he would usually eat before coming over and only munch on items that he brought. We had several GF family members at Thanksgiving last week and the mom in that family prepared GF versions of several side dishes and desserts. My GF aunt does the same - she brings something of substance that she knows she can eat as an entree and share with others (like chicken kabobs) and then rounds out with any foods that are obviously GF, like plain potato chips, salad without dressing or croutons, etc.

If I were you, I would do as you are planning and would bring GF versions of his favorite sides and a dessert that he can eat, but bring some to share if possible. The more others eat GF foods, the more they might be willing to make some when they host. For example, I made my GF aunt a birthday cake last week and made part of the cake from a GF cake mix. It was delicious and I would readily use that mix again (King Arthur GF Yellow Cake Mix, by the way).

Given the complexity of your son's dietary needs, it's a bit unreasonable to expect others to be able to plan a holiday meal and accommodate those needs in addition to doing everything else. With something as important as the food your child can eat, I wouldn't trust other people to remember everything or check every ingredient either, so I would feel more comfortable knowing that I brought items my child could eat without worry.

GF is easy, she has no excuse....
that said, I'd bring ham (since you can't trust her to read labels) for him.
plus, I'd bring a veggie (enough to serve everyone), maybe two veggies and then also a dessert (again, enough to serve everyone).
If she says anything (or even if she doesn't), explain that you dont want him singled out more than is necessary.
I would do this for every meal at her house until she gets the message. She may feel that GF is boring, can't taste good, etc. and to be fair, much of the processed GF is awful; but so is most processed food, period.
Give her the benefit of the doubt, she may not be thinking....my MIL is oblivious to the dye issue and I have a child that is sensitive to it (but not allergic, thank goodness) and she simply doesn't think to look at ingredients.
You will have to work on training her that GF tastes good for everyone and that it is not hard to do (well, except maybe baking pies and cakes - that GF flour is a pain!).

We are gf at my house, among many other things. It's easiest for us to never ask a host to try and accomodate. I personally volunteer to bring a lot of food so I know my son will be included. If dessert is the issue, make something you know your son will eat that is also really yummy that even the non-allergen person will enjoy as well. I make a great berry cobbler that is only sweetened w/medjool dates and a little maple syrup and I serve it warm with coconut milk vanilla ice cream since my son can't do dairy as well. I've had several people request the recipe before. So, it's doable, you just have to do more work than you are probably wanting which is the sucky part. But you will feel better knowing your son will be included like you want:)

For Thanksgiving, we have gluten-free dressing (made from gluten-free cornbread--I use rice flour.). My mother uses cornstarch instead of flour for the gravy. (Hmm, I wonder how that would taste with rice flour.) I'm not into rolls or pastries, so that's not so much an issue for me; I prefer fruits. For dessert, maybe you can just research a gluten-free version of his favorite and make enough for seconds. Or maybe you can be in charge of one or two main dishes.

It's really not difficult to be gluten free if you can ensure pure ingredients. It gets difficult when you have to deal with pre-mixed seasonings and packaged foods. Will your MIL let you join her in the kitchen? I never asked my mother to make any special accommodations for me, but I make the cornbread myself, and I just told her one year that it would be gluten free and that I'd make it early so she could taste it and be comfortable with it. Yeah, she could probably be more accommodating for her grandchild, but the responsibility really falls on his parents to make sure that his needs are met. I've always had dietary restrictions, and the differences often came into play when I was a child. My mother had to drive the point home that, even though there was no allergy, it was not acceptable for me to "eat around it". I never felt left out of anything, because I understood why I wasn't eating it.

Well, he really can't have regular food right? I would offer to bring a dessert and also a main dish (potatoes, rolls, whatever) and then tell her what brands of ham are GF (Honey Baked, Costco etc). As long as she doesn't add anything to it of course. I am a celiac and my son has a nut allergy and I just tell it like it is. There will be times that he and or I won't be able to eat what every one else is eating. The best way to make sure we can be included is to bring our own safe food as back up. That way we can be part of the party and we don't feel left out. It sounds like your son has more than just gluten so I'd take the initiative and bring him his own food. One ingredient to avoid is one thing but having a list of things is hard on some one who is not familiar with allergy free cooking/label reading.

Good Luck... Most people do not even know they are eating it.. :)

Save yourself from having to worry and bring your own food.

I bring gf/non allergenic dishes we can eat and share. Usually at least one main/side dish that would work if that's all my kids or I had to eat. And almost always a dessert so no one in my allergic family feels deprived. I usually ask my kids what they'd like me to make so they feel like I'm bringing their favorite treat, rather than noticing what they can't have.

Some standards I bring are: oven fried potatoes with onions, bell peppers and ham or sausage, a gluten free pasta casserole, rice krispy treats, gluten free/milk free brownies.

Even if friends and family offer to cook special for us, I usually decline. It's difficult for people not used to cooking around our many allergies, and if they forget or include an allergen by accident, we might end up having nothing to eat or having a reaction.

Don't bother trying to ask her to make any accomodations. Just let her know that you're going to make a few dishes to bring. Make enough for everyone to enjoy them, but ensure they are GF.

I hosted a week stay with my family and had to work around gluten, meat, egg, dairy and nut allergy (amongst three individuals). Its really too much for a host. It worked with my family because they helped me in the kitchen. My in-laws have to work some to accommodate my kosher diet. But If I don't want christmas/ easter ham for me and my kids, I have to make my own entree. So i started making vegetarian meat balls. Now they get mad if i don't make them because the whole family loves them.

Its easy to get pissed, I know I've wondered whats so hard about not putting bacon in everything! But honestly though, having been on both sides of it, if there is more than one restriction, just plan on bringing your own food. Its really more than a host can keep up with. I myself was sitting here for several moments considering what dessert I could make that didn't have wheat, chocolate, or dyes in it and I was stumped.

I have a few vegetarians in my family and they have ALWAYS brought their own food (well, at least their own main entree, they were usually able to eat some of the sides we had.)
My son's new girlfriend not only has Celiac disease, but she is lactose AND corn intolerant!
When she came to visit I was beside myself (no gluten, dairy or corn!?) but she was so sweet and offered to supplement and make things to go with our meals so she never went hungry, or felt left out.
Honestly, I think it's YOUR attitude that will make the difference for your son. Teach him early on about his limits and how he should always be prepared to take charge of his own health and comfort.
Older people are notorious for not really believing in allergies, and thinking that younger parents are just making a big deal out of nothing.
Have fun making some food WITH him to take along to the Christmas dinner, something he can be proud of, show off and share with the family!