Going Back to School - Riverbank,CA

I JUST signed up to go back to school! today. I'm nervous, anxious, I have a full time job and a five yr old. But I'm proud of myself for taking the first step. I'm gonna do online and HOPE my hubby keeps my little one from interrupting every five minutes, I'm gonna be too tired if I wait till he goes to bed

I'm sure you could do it, many mothers do it all the time. But I'm not going to sugar coat it and say it won't be difficult. You'll have to be very committed to getting through school. The best thing to keep in mind is that it's for the sake of your family. I work full time. My kids break my heart by telling me they don't want me to leave. BUT, I know I'm going to work to financially support them (husband laid off alot) so I'm driven to go.

I am a mom and just went back to school full time. I've been out of school for 15 years! I am SO happy to be doing this. For me, it feels like I am giving myself a gift. Of course, school can be hard and stressful, but so is parenting and so is working while parenting. I think the right path is probably different for everyone. For me, school is awesome. And, even though it's challenging, I feel like the ways it makes me feel fulfilled and happy have positive effects on my ability to parent well. Does that make sense?

For me, I cannot study at home unless my daughter is asleep. Actually, I find that even when she's at preschool, I have a hard time staying focused at home. There's always laundry to do or things to put away or whatever. So I have arranged my life in such a way that I have enough time out of the house to devote to studying. For that reason, I don't think online classes would work for me. But, like I said, everyone is different.

I hope that you feel empowered to make whatever choice feels right for you. I have come to believe that what is right for me is generally also right for my family, even if it looks initially like it will be harder for them.

Best wishes,

evie

Good Luck. I know you can do it. Take the 1 super hard class and do whatever it takes to get through it. Get a tutor. Buy the notes. Whatever. Once that is behind you, you will have a renewed confidence in yourself.
Find a school that offers both online and classroom credit hours. That gives you flexibility as you go along. Some stuff you can knock out 1 hour a week, while home doing laundry and the kids are napping, but It would damn difficult to become a nurse with no classroom time. Make sure the hours you take are at an accredited school and give you academic hours. That way theu can be used to buil onto something else later. One foot in front of the other. one small step at a time. just keep moving forward.

I started school again when my son was 2 months old. Here are the biggest things I learned :

- Start off with a "fluff" class. Every time I've had to take a break from school (a couple times over 8 years... I've been in school for 6 of them) it takes me about a quarter to "get back into the swing" of it. A hard class that first quarter either means a lower grade or a LOT of unnecessary stress. An easy class lets me get my feet under me again so I can hit my hard science classes (hard sciences are difficult for me) running. They're hard but FUN, because I'm not also trying to figure out how to balance my life around them.

- Naps, preschool, and other major changes in KIDDO'S schedule change what kinds of classes and how many I can take. (Because I'm a mediocre mom and mediocre student when I try and study when he's awake... I personally have to only study when he's asleep). When he was taking 2 naps a day I could take 2 hard classes a quarter. When it dropped to 1 nap, I could only take 1 hard class and 1 easy class. When he went to preschool 4 hours a day I could bump back up to 2 hard classes.

- SOME parents have kids that can "play by themselves". My son wasn't one of them. I COULD NOT study while he was around until he was 8 years old. (See the mediocre parent/student comment above). And now, I suspect, it's purely because we homeschool. (but we started hs'ing at age 6... prior to this year, kiddo really needed my full attention while schooling). Kiddo can work on his work, and I can work on mine *for limited amounts of time*.

- Arrange extra daycare for the week before midterms and finals but DO NOT depend on it. I've had my daycare vanish, and I've had kiddo get sick during those weeks. As long as that time was BONUS, I could live and ace my exams... when I made the mistake of *depending* on that extra childcare (for cramming, etc.) my grades and my temper both deteriorated. It's NOT kiddo's fault that I was "behind" because he was sick.

- For *myself* it was worth missing a class to deal with discipline issues. I'm an A student, and I "overdo" everything in regards to school. AKA I had a good relationship with my profs. So when kiddo was having temper tantrums (age 3, we soooo had the terrible 3's at our house)... there were many days I missed class in order to deal with him as he needed to be dealt with. I'd scan an email my assignments (or photograph projects) to my profs, and check in as to things I'd missed *as soon as* I realized I was going to miss class (typically sometime before they started). It took about 5 minutes. And was sooo worth plopping kiddo (screaming) in his crib while I took care of getting my stuff in... and then dealing with him as he need to be dealt with. As opposed to trying to stuff him in the car, get all my stuff, drop him off a complete mess & go into class and then try and deal with him a couple hours later.

- For me'self... nursing practicums were worth waiting until he was in school.

- Kiddo changed his "awake" patterns to match when I was home. I found that day classes meant he'd be up longer and more often at night. Night classes mean he'd skip naps like crazy in the daytime. Talking with other student parents, this is pretty normal. Not really anything to be done about it, but a good thing to be "forewarned" about.

- In our area there is typically a "lag year" between getting your PreReqs done & nursing school entrance. Knowing that ahead of time means that year can be put to good use. Most commonly (in our area) people either get their phlebotomy cert (3 months), EMT cert (3 months), or go straight into being a Unit Secretary at their local hospital. That way one can work part time during the lag year in the field and it *also* helps weight the application in your favor. ((AKA to improve their chances of being accepted -in our area nursing schools have between 500 - 6000 applicants for 30 spots... so instead of applying as soon as one's prereqs are done, the "smart" move in our area is NOT to apply until 6mo after rereq's/ AS graduation. That way you get your Phelbotomy or EMT training on your transcripts AND have 3-6mo of healthcare experience on the "books" for your application.

- Financial aid typically takes about 3-12 months to "kick in". FAFSA and then application & acceptance. So it means planning ahead for the $ to be there when you need it to be.

- There are TONS of programs to assist student parents. From housing (or housing subsidies), childcare or childcare subsidies, and lots of other money programs. ASIDE from my financial aid we got a $1000 a month housing subsidy and a $600ish (changed a few times) childcare subsidy. The first let us stay in "family student housing" (tiny but we would have been priced out of it without the subsidy), and the 2nd put our son through a KILLER montessori preschool that we could have never afforded without it. One typically finds these programs through the "family services" AND the "women's and minorities" programs (being a student parent puts you into a minority, and the women thing is fairly obvious). The financial aid dept usually doesn't have a clue about EITHER of these units, nor the services they provide. AKA you have to do your own legwork on them.

- I always arranged for "extra" childcare. Typically an extra hour (including drive time and class time). I used that hour for PRIOR to class so I could do any last minute things / make sure I was prepared for class / OR just to sit in my car and read a book / calm down from a hard day at home. Other parents I know split 50/50 who did the same thing. Some used the time prior to class, some after.

- I *personally* found that it worked better to have 1 class per day (instead of stacking both classes 2 days a week). Others prefer to get them stacked. It's really a personal preference. But it's a good thing to work out logistically. I had thought 2 days a week would be better than 4... but it turned out to be the opposite *in my case*

Go for it. And have a big discussion with DH before hand - he should be pitching in 50:50 and it will help to figure out how that will work/what that will look like before you start classes.

well, when i first read this post, i thought, "you can do it!!! of course you can! and if you communicate with your professors and explain to them that you have twin babies, they might work with you to create an alternative deadline schedule or whatever. and if you have support at home...."

but then i read the next post. is it yours? about the myspace-addicted husband? if so, personally i think you should deal with that before you go back to school. the stress it may cause, time it may take in arguments, counseling, whatever, and the possible absence of a father due to the myspace thing may make school ten times harder than it would be if those issues were "solved." and if it just happens to be a totally different "diane t." who pasted this, well, then, forgive me and ignore the latter past of my answer! :)

good luck mama!

You can do it...but at what sacrifice? Your twins,husband and home NEED you soooo much more. I have seen others go back to school while young children in the home. They are exhausted,pulled emotionally and physically in many directions and the marriages suffered tremendously.

My opinion is just that...an opinion from some anonymous mama on the web. I just think that if you don't HAVE to do it right now then wait awhile...til' your twins are a bit older. The economy is struggling in many areas but in other areas are showing good signs of improvement and better days ahead. If my family needed more money then I would look at more creative ways right now to keep myself in the home and save money at the same time. As I said before..you could go back to school and get your micro class finished and work on a nursing degree...you definitely could...but the real question is should you. Talk to your husband..weigh ALL the pros and cons. What benefits are there with you being primary caregiver and nurturer and saving childcare costs and devoting all your time and energy into making your home a lovely place...against doing ALL of that on top of studying,studying,studying and being in front of a computer for classes or going on campus and finding childcare. There is always time in your future to do all that...but your babies are young once.

Good luck with your decision..if you chose school then I wish you the best of luck...nursing is a very hard and underappreciated job...but we are all so grateful for them!!

I haven't tried doing school on line, but I do work at home some times and i can tell you that it is hard when there are children in the house unless there is another person to help with the kids. If you can actually go to school, I think that would be better, at least for me it would. Good luck with your class!!

2 of my daughters are going to school tobecome nurses. One is thinking about changeing her carrer plans and do it as well. We haveall learned tht if they can stay focused and diligent they did well with on line class as no matter where they are they canbe doing school.
I hope that you will keep at it and will take advantage of doing it while the childrn are little/ Sitters are a great thing.

Hi Diane~
what a wonderful thing you want to do to better your life and help your family. Nursing is a great career.
I have been a nurse almost 3 yrs now and it has been so worth it.
I have 3 kids (my youngest is almost 3. he was born during the last semester in school, not advised :). I have an incredibly supportive husband, at times he acted like a single father. without his support and help with the kids I would not have been able to do it. we have no other family locally. people are always very encouraging in the beginning but unless you are going through it you cannot understand how difficult it is.
If you have the support system than absolutely GO for it!!!
I recommend you take micro at school not online
good luck and good for you :)

OK I decided to edit once I read the other responses. Understand that nursing school is one of the most demanding and difficult things you will probably ever do. If in fact you do have a rock solid relationship and help with the kids and other daily activityes then it is doable. if not, there were a few families in my class that were broken up due to the amount of stress. it is a HUGE decision and you have to decide if the sacrifices are worth it right now where you are in your life.
good luck and I'm interested to know how you are doing and what you have decided in a few months.

Does the school you are going to have a waiting period for the nursing program? I know some places have a long wait period (a few years). If you could get this class behind you and then get on a wait list that would be good. If there isn't a wait period, then maybe I'd wait until the twins were a little older. If you are not working (and have someone to watch with twins or can afford day care), then it could be doable with them being so young though. I know that for myself working 40 hrs. a week is all the time I can leave my 2 year old.
Best of luck to you. I personally have 3 classes that I'd need to apply to a nursing program. I am thinking of switching to accounting though.

I am a mother of a two year old, work part time (from home) and go to school. I am also working towards my nursing degree. It is doable, but a lot harder to do school when you have children. I would say when you feel ready to leave them for long enough to go to class and do the study, then you will be ready for success. I tried to go back to school to soon, when my daughter was 6 months old and It backfired because I was not committed to leaving her for so long. Now that she is 2 I feel so much better about leaving her, I know she has fun and plays while I am gone.
So that's just my experience, but I say definately go for it when you are ready!!!