My daughter went to a 3 night, 4 day camp. She was in tears when I left. I picked her up and she was so happy to see me. She had a very hard time at camp, and has told me, "I feel sorry for the little girl that was left at camp forever." I said, "All girls were picked up." She replied, "Not all I am still trapped there in my memories", and cries. I have made sure nothing inappropriate happened, she just tells me that she can't get over being left, and she is so glad I came to get her. I have given many words of comfort and held her, hugged her, and it has been 2 1/2 weeks since picking her up. Also, I have told her that she never has to go again, and that it was her suggestion and choice to go, and that it did help her to grow and learn, but that she does not have to go again. Leaving home in small quantities will help her when it's time to go to college. My daughter is 10.... Any suggestions? These words are not helping her...I have even asked her what would she like to hear me say to make it better...she just cries and says she can't get it out of her head watching me leave her that day.
All of the advice has been great. She does have a journal and writes quite a bit. I will suggest that when it gets to bothering her to write it all down. I hadn't thought about the fact that she is still processing the events at camp. Yes, she is a deep thinker and sensitive. She has a big heart and loves to help others. Thank you all so much!
You can start a mother-daughter journal - - a "North Star" journal. She can write something, give you the journal, and you can respond back. The journal can go back and forth between you for years. Please read "Saving Ophelia." Someday, if she's ready to try camp again, she can take the journal to write down her daily experiences to share with you when she gets home.
She sounds like a sensitive child. I would just keep repeating what you've said before to reassure her and give her more time to process everything. Some kids just take forever to come to peace with things. You may try giving her a journal to write down her feelings. I've heard it works wonders with some children. Good luck!
Some children are just not ready to be away from home. My son started going to sleepover camp at 10. He goes for 2 weeks each year. He loves it. But he was ready. It sounds like your daughter not only wasn't ready but neither were you. I would suggest that you tell her again your sorry but then let it go. and don't let her keep bringing it up over and over again if she does maybe get her to a councilor because there is more going on there than just you dropping her off at camp
Another resource you could look at is ACA (american camp association) they offer great parent tips for prepping for camp. They might have some for returning campers, too. (like "How to help when camp doesn't meet your expectations")
I am so sad she is feeling this way. Camp was always a highlight of my summers as a child and teen. The camp may just not have been a good fit for her personality. Each one is so different and focuses on different things. Hopefully in the future you will both identify some great opportunities for a more comfortable transition to introducing independence/being away from home :)
She's working you. Tell her it is time to get over it now, then let it drop. You are feeding into her attention getting technique.
I would explain to her that you never truely leave her because you are a part of her. Point out that you have the same eyes or ears or way of peeling a orange. If she ever wants you but can't be with you, all she needs to do is close her eyes and imagine you were there. I might help if you get locket with your picture in it for her to wear when you are going to be apart.
Poor thing was traumatized. She wasnt ready for it. My daughter is 11 and wont sleep over any friends house. Her school has overnight trips that she went to but we had to pick her up nightly because she dint want to stay over without us. Is she an only child? I told my daughter over and over that she will never have to do anything that she is not comfortable with. Some girls in her class qurstioned why she didnt want to stay, which made her uncomfortable. She is afraid you will abandon her. Dont have her sleep over or go away unless she feels ready again. Over time she will get over it. Now you know camp doesnt work for her, There are day camps she can try instead next time.
Good luck
Has your daughter spent the night away from home before? If so where and how long? If she's not used to be away, I can understand that this was difficult for her. She simply was not ready. Focus on the fact that she was NOT left there, you DID come and pick her up.
However, if she regularly spends the night at friends or relatives houses then I would say there is a serious problem and would seek some counceling for her.
