Googled for Info

I think it's normal to google themselves and those they know. I wouldn't be bothered by that. Some people just do that.

What I would be bothered by is the fact that she's a gossiper, spreading the news to her pals.

Well that's just weird. She sounds like a bored busybody. It wouldn't bother me though, because I don't share anything on social media that's truly private. It's like I tell my kids, don't put it out there if you wouldn't want your G. to see it!

I google myself occasionally and it's downright scary what's out there.

Along with my personal info of owning a business, my address was listed as well as reference in my husband's obituary.

Around here our property taxes went up and neighbors Google the tax rolls and throw each other under the bus to try to lower taxes.

What someone posts on social media is public. That's a known fact with FB, LinkedIn, etc.

I think your "friend" is a busybody and should have kept info to herself. I'm not sure if I'd confront her... I'd probably remove myself from the group if the majority of the group acted like this and was party to the gossip.

I think lots of people Google themselves and others. If you put something out in public (social media, letters to the editor), then it's public. If you have a sign in your yard for a candidate or an issue, you're making a public statement.

Now, she started sharing info with others? Gossip. But technically, the "trusted source" who shared the info with you was also gossiping. (Look up the definition - it's sharing info to make someone else look bad in another's eyes.) She probably also wants to act like she's "in the know" because it makes an insecure person think she's valued or needed by others.

If she's judging people by their politics, marital status, or church membership, then she's someone to stay away from. You don't have to quit the group if it brings value to you, then you can certainly be very wary of her conversation, and get up and walk away if she says negative things about anyone at all. If you have to, tell her, "This social group is a fun night out for me, and I'm not going to ruin it by talking about others." Then change the subject (have a few handy subjects ready just in case!). If your group has a more specific purpose, try to redirect the conversation in that direction.

She sounds like a busy body.
If the info is on social media, then it's public knowledge.
It might be interesting to Google her and see what turns up.

what do you mean when you say "dug up our last names" ? like no one uses their last names and she searched for them just to google you and then gossip about you?
or the names are used and are redily avalable? like i know the last names of the moms of the kids in my sons class.. its common knowledge. so it would not be digging.

if they are posting their lives on facebook, twitter, snapchat, etc.? It's not a secret.

If she went out and searched for people who are in the group and wanted to find out their "secrets"? I think she needs some special help.

Would I be upset? I would be upset that someone didn't ask me about my information and past instead of using social media to get it.

If this group is a confidential based group then she's out. She has broken confidentiality.

If it's not a group that discusses confidential material and they do not allow anyone but immediate members that are associated with this group...such as AA or NA are confidential meeting groups and that confidentiality is expected by anyone that enters the doors. They announce "The conversations and discussions and anything you learn about a person is NOT to be discussed with anyone outside of this room and with the people present". That sort of thing.

Some people are huge gossips and it's not illegal to search people by their names.

For instance, any of us could use a version of our real name on mamapedia. Then list our town.

Let's say a person named Constance, picked it because it's unusual, had the handle of Soccer mom of 4, home town of Mustang OK, then started her posts with

"Hi, this is Constance, and I have a question about big soccer matches. We're going to one in the next town over this weekend with our 7 year old and they don't have a snack bar. I plan on taking snacks and drinks for my family, should I take some for the rest of the girls?"

Pretty much anyone could find her. If they took time to look.

All they'd have to do is look for soccer clubs in Mustang then look on that website to see what the names of the kids on the 7 and under soccer lists are. That information is usually in the section under teams or coaches and isn't always confidential.

Once they have found a girls team and see that that team has a match in Yukon this coming weekend they could actually go and sit in the stands. Look for a mom that people call Connie or for a mom with several kids.

They could go sit near them and say something like "Hi, you look familiar, I think I saw you sitting with the moms earlier today, is your boy on the (Insert name of some team that has boys on it that you have seen during the day)?

Then she would say no, we just got here. They could sit and start conversations with her and find out so much information.

There isn't such a thing as true confidentiality anymore. Also, if someone wants to find you they can pick up enough bread crumbs to do it.

We think we're safe from peering eyes and those who don't have our best interests at heart but we're not.

In our world with social media and everything we do being kept somewhere online we just don't have the privacy we think we do.

So we need to take precautions to protect ourselves and keep "us" safer. Don't take risks and don't take chances.

All in all, this person is curious about the people she is interacting with and there isn't anything against the law in looking up people and seeing who they are and what they have done or posted or anything. Even gossiping about it isn't against the law.

The only think you guys can do is go to the authority figure over the group and make a complaint, again, she hadn't done anything illegal. If it's a confidential group then the facilitator of the group has every right to expel her from the group.

If it's in someone's home that person can pick who they want in their home BUT if this person complains then it might happen that the facilitator would decide it has to be in a public place instead of a home.

There are consequences of filing a complaint. I wouldn't worry about gossip at all. If you guys are friends then you already know what their is to know about each other that's interesting and germane.