Grief

Updated on March 29, 2008
S.K. asks from Sand Springs, OK
8 answers

I am a 38 year old mother of an 11 year old daughter and 3 weeks ago we lost my husband, her father to a sudden serious illness. I am so worried about my grief keeping me from helping her through this. Her and her dad were very close. Can anyone recommend a good therapist or grief counselor for her and myself. I live in Sand Springs, work in Tulsa.

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So What Happened?

To everyone who sent advice emails, thank you. Today has been one of the worst days, have not stopped crying the entire day, saw my Dr. this am. Reading all the responses not only has given me advice but has also comforted me in knowing that people I do not even know are thinking and praying for me. It is comfort I really needed at this time. I am shown every day that God is holding me in his arms through his people. Thank you every one!
Stephanie

More Answers

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R.R.

answers from Tulsa on

Dear S.:

Even though I lead a ministry that provides support to families caring for children left parentless due to criminality, grief is grief no matter what was the reason for our loved one death. My heart goes out for you and your daughter!
Others that know Tulsa area better than me already recommended support groups and/or therapists to you, hopefully you'll find one that might be what you really need. I am a retired teacher with Counseling background studies, and a big heart to help others
whenever possible. If you ever have a need for a listening ear, a hug, or just someone to share, I'm at your service, and your daughter's.
There is a movie with Robin Williams that deals with the subject of grief/death, "What Dreams May Come" and a more recent one:
"Things We Lost in the Fire". I recommend both as part of a healing process. Dealing with grief is a process, you go from sadness to feelings of anger, feeling helpless, loneliness, and from there to reach out for others, see alternatives, accept life events, and embracing hope, the present and our future.
In all this process God is a real God, willing to lead us, giving us strength, restoring our lives...
My family had to face losses more than once, painful losses. Sometimes we just plain don't understand, and wonder why, why... It takes time, it is so good that you care for your daughter's feelings besides yours. Some people are so deep into their own grief, they don't recognize children also face the pain of lossing their loved one.
God bless you and guide you in your seek for help! My personal email:
oceanrain . ____@____.com (no spaces)

Hugs, R.

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C.S.

answers from Tulsa on

My heart goes out to you at this time. I live in Tulsa and I know that there are many grief counselors here. St Francis Hospital might be able to assist you. I believe there is a grief counselling unit there. You may be able to contact Tristess House. Good luck. Talk about him and keep pictures around for your child to see. Talking does help.

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T.W.

answers from Tulsa on

S., first i would like to tell you how very sorry i am for your lose. i my self have lost (not my husband) i lost my sister and my best friend. She was 34 years old.her and her boy freind drove a semi and he fell asleep at the wheel he can no longer walk and she is no longer with us.for a long time wished he was gone and she was here with us ( don't any more she would not have liked being in his place).we were on our way to atlanta GA were she was when we got the call she didn't make it.i called out to GOD for confort. it has just know ( 2 years latter) gotten easer to breathe.And it took me going to my church and telling them my strugel and grief. they all prayed for me and my family.it was so hard on me loseing her that i couldn't be there for my kids,mom and sisters.and my sister was like a mom to my youngest daughter.it's still hard but i can know talk about her and remember her mimorys. if it weren't for my church and their prayers and love i don't know were i would be. go to your church if you don't have one find one,satan is going to use your lose and grief to hurt you and daughter and your future. turn to Him HE will help with your lose you will find peace in Him.He loves you and wants good for you. IT WILL GET EASYER TO BREATHE AGAIN.

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P.K.

answers from Tulsa on

So sorry about your loss. There is a therapist at Shadow Mountain in Tulsa named Jane Smith. She is really good about getting to the point quickly. Also, South Tulsa Babtist Church and possibly more churches, offer a grief support group. I believe meetings are in the early evenings, maybe once a week. But worth calling about. I have heard good things about it. They are on 101st. and Sheridan. Broken Arrow had a great family resource center on 71st st. with great counselors. Fee was based on what you earn I think. Really reasonable. Tulsa may have one too, don't know about theirs though. And since it is funded thru the state, you could go to either. Worth a check. Mary Ann Lewis is really good also. Therapist in Tulsa. Good Luck.

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A.C.

answers from Tulsa on

Hi S.,

I am so sorry that your husband passed away. What a very lonely and difficult time for you and your daughter. I am new to the Tulsa area and am not sure what is available for grief counseling but I would call a local church and ask if they can suggest anyone.
My deepest sympathy and prayers go out to your and your family! Blessings, A.

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D.B.

answers from Tulsa on

S. K,

I am a clinical nurse specialist/psychotherapist in Tulsa. I currently am doing more prescribing of psychotropic medications these days than therapy although I do both. I know several really good therapists as well and would be glad to give you a referral. If you use insurance, that would also be a factor. If your insurance has a list of therapists, I could recommend someone I know on your list.

I am sorry for your loss and especially in this situation where it is untimely. If I can be of help, please feel free to e-mail me or you could call my office and my secretary will get me the message.

D. Brantly, MS, CNS
office number ###-###-####
e-mail ____@____.com

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A.B.

answers from Tulsa on

I am so sorry about your husband S.. Truly. Brent Sharp is at the Life Connection counseling center in Tulsa. You can find him on The life connection church website in Jenks. I did some work there as a counselor and am at home now with my kids. He would be really helpful and has a great grasp on grief counseling. His is the director of the counseling center. There is a child therapist there also for your daughter.
May you be surrounded with support and peace,
A.

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D.L.

answers from Tulsa on

oh honey,

How dreadful for the both of you. May God's arms of protection be arround the both of you and fill your aching heart. We haven't had a death but I had a serious illness ( cancer) a couple of years ago. My little guy has had a hard time being sure that I am ok and anytime I get sick that I"m not going to die. He sees a great therapist here in town her name is Manju Kaul. We LOVE her she has a fantastic practice and sees both children and adults. I highly recommend her. D.

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