I feel your pain! Most salons are way too expensive. I went to a place for years which cost $45-50 dollars just for a shampoo and cut when you added the tip. I finally found a woman who charges $15 for all cuts, men and women. I'm so ecstatic that I give her $20 each time I go.) She does a great job and dispenses with all the frills (shampoo, head massage, fancy location). She's just a hole in the wall right by our neighborhood and the schools. And she does a great job. (People like her are out there but you have to search for them.)
This new woman kept talking about "ultimate platinum". Finally, I asked her what that was and she said with a smile, "gray hair". She also says that gray hair tends to be the opposite of what your non-gray hair was--straight non-gray can become curly gray or vice versa. I don't know if that is 100% true but it appears that way...at least in places. : )
Anyway, I have lots of "ultimate platinum" and think of it as inexpensive highlighting. People say, "I love the range of colors your hair has!" Personally, it's getting a little flat as the gray takes over at 50, but once you start coloring it, you're stuck with coloring it for life, unless you're ready to be brave one day and let it all grow out.
A few years ago, I played with a spray bottle to give myself highlights. I forget the product's name but it was great...until I got a little heavy-handed and became a blond again. It was one of those products that is supposed to react to sun and lighten sprigs of hair. It was fun for a while but I got tired of doing it all the time. Now, I just accept the "ultimate platinum" as my fate.
I have a friend who moved to NH from NYC. She used to be a managing editor for a well-known magazine. When I first met her she had brown hair. She's only in her 30s or early 40s, but when she let the coloring grow out, she had a full head of gray...and it is really strikingly nice!
When I'm thinking of a new style, I look at magazines a lot--there's always some magazines out there that show different styles for different face shapes. You could also find an online site where you upload your photo and then try a ton of different styles to pick what you like. But an actual hair stylist might be the best for knowing your hair and what might work with it. A picture doesn't always translate to your actual hair--texture, wave, etc.
It really depends on the hair stylist for whether or not they will recommend a new style. Some are timid with suggestions, others forge forth. The suggestion of a beauty college might be a great way to go, if there is one nearby. I've never tried it but have heard good things when people have.
Just remember...it always grows out if you don't like what you end up with. You're certainly not happy with what you currently have, so take the plunge and see what you find.
Good luck!