Hair Pulling?

A.,
The "no more tangles" spray really works, my sister and I and some of our kids have the THICKEST hair EVER, and have used it on myself as well as the kids. Just use it after bath time, then to keep tangles at bay try braiding it before she goes to sleep. I would try it for awhile and see if things get better before cutting it all off. Sometimes your hair just doesn't grow back the same when you go really short...speaking from experience!

Good luck,
K.

My daughter has really thick hair which tangles nicely. I started brushing and braiding it before bed. It kept the hair from tangling horribly, and made brushing in the morning much easier.

My daughter did that too! I even had her hair cut really short and she would still twirl it and pull the knots out - it drove me nuts. I would find those little nests of hair in her bed - so she would do it at night. I worried that she was stressed out or something! Anyway, she is almost six now and no longer does it. I don't think she has for well over a year. So hopefully it is just a phase they go through!
Stephanie

the reality of the situation is with long hair comes to responsibility of maintaining it. if she can't handle long hair, then perhaps the best option is to cut it. otherwise, it needs to be brushed often to keep it smooth, or put up in a ponytail/pigtails/braids to keep it from getting tangled in the first place. use a conditioner and a separate detangler after bath time to make it easier to brush out after . if she can't handle having her hair done, or if she fights you when you brush it or refuses to brush it herself, then she's telling you through her actions that she is not able to care for long hair. cut her hair, she can try having long hair again later, when she is more capable of being responsible for it. having short hair may not be what she wants, but i'm sure she'd like much less walking around with a partially bald head. if you cut her hair and she still pulls it out, then she may have trichotillomania, which is a mental disorder where a person has the irresistable urge to pull out all their hair.

Sometimes we try to make more of a situation than it is. She says she pulled the knots out because she didn't want to have to brush the knots out of her hair. She's sad. When we are mourning we are more sensitive to things such as brushing knots out of our hair. She found a way to not have to do that. We know that her idea won't help. So we problem solve with her about how to keep the knots out of her hair. Karma and Ava have excellent ideas.

If you want to cut her hair, include her in the decision so that it doesn't feel like punishment. I wonder why she would think it is punishment. Have you threatened to cut her hair if she didn't take care of it or for some other action viewed by you as misbehavior"

She may not be able to adequately take care of her hair at 4. My granddaughter who has long, very curly hair gradually started takinging care of it at that age. At 8 she is finally able to manage her hair most of the time. One consession that her mother has made is that she doesn't have to get all the tangles out. Her hair is full enough that some tangles are not noticed. If her hair looks a mess she pulls it back with an elastic band and she set to go. Hair just isn't worth fighting over.

Find a way to keep the tangles to a minimum with use of products and a good comb and brush. My daughter found tht a brush with plastic coated wires spaced a ways apart worked best. The base was squishy. The combination of wires and give of the brush made brushing thick hair less painful.

It is reasonable to say, not in anger, but as a necessary way to make life easier, that if mommy can't brush out your tangles we'll have to get a hair cut so there won't be so many tangles. However, my granddaughter wanted her hair cut to just below ear level so it would be like mama's. It still tangled (less so) and didn't look anything like mamas. She grew it long again.

Hi A.
go to the internet and google hair pulling you might find your answer asto why your child is pulling out her hair
paula

4 yr olds have hair that is fine and tangles easily. Cutting it a bit might make it more managable for her. It sounds as though she's responsible for hair combing/brushing and getting knots out is time consuming and painful. Get her some spray detangler to use after her hair is washed. Or use as really good conditioner on her hair, Paul Mitchell's De-Tangler is great stuff!!! But if you keep her hair well conditioned it won't tangle as easily and will comb/brush out better between shampoos. My daughter's hair was very long until she was almost 12. She wanted it that way and so did I. As she got older she wanted some relief for the routine of hair care and it was cut to just below her shoulders. As a young adult, she wears it at shoulder length. Her hair, her decisions. Listen to your daughter and do what you can to help her achieve her hair goals, even at 4 yrs of age.
The recent loss of your family pet is hard on each and every one of you. It may be just coincidental that you found the hair knots during the same week. But when you cry alot and rub your eyes and then your hair, the salty tears can help tangle hair, that a snuffly nose that comes with the tears. Use the detangler conditioner and spray. Also you might want to braid her hair before she goes to bed. It will help with combouts in the morning. And if you have flannel sheets or pillow cases, they are great for tangling hair. That's why many 'ladies' use satin pillow cases, for their hair and to prevent face wrinkles/crinkles.