Has the Sight or Presents of Him (Boyfriend/husband) Ever Made You Wanna Cry?

Sounds like he could be a sex addict. My answer is no, because it sounds like he is still doing it. Maybe therapy would help?

Yes you are and PLEASE stop setteling for less then you deserve. You are with a controlling BUMB. Get out before you have more children that he will not help with or provide a good male roll model.

Blessings...

Updated

Yes you are and PLEASE stop setteling for less then you deserve. You are with a controlling BUMB. Get out before you have more children that he will not help with or provide a good male roll model.

Blessings...

Well, you have two kids with him now, so good luck to you. I hope by some miracle he has changed.

Not a good past track record though...the landlord's wife AND daughter??? Wow. I don't know what to say.

It's slightly possible that his children have matured him. I know that's what matured me. But I'm female.

I think you should have your ducks in a row, just in case... (but whatever happens, don't take it personally, it's not about you.) And just to let you know, he's FAR from being the most perfect man in the world, so don't do that to yourself. You are WAY more perfect than he is.

Get a hold of his phone and hide it real fast when he's asleep. A day later, check it out. Believe me, you're not going to believe all the stuff you see. Save everything. See a lawyer. Get away from him (kick him out dont' leave your home). Do whatever you need to for your own sake and don't go off half cocked, but get away from him. You actually don't even have to go through the ordeal with the phone unless you need convincing. Just quietly plan your escape Just get away from him. There will always be 10,000 skags out there swirling around a man like this. It won't end.
To people saying basically to respect your vows, it's nice to be forgiving and all, but until you've been cheated on, you do not know THAT pain, or realize how truly fundamentally wrong to the core a person capable of it is. There is a reason it's a biblical deal breaker.

you may be holding onto something, but his behavior would instill lack of trust in most people. Have the two of you tried couples counseling - at church or from a counselor (marriage and family therapist, social worker etc.)? If nothing else,his texting at all hours is RUDE and inconsiderate of you and your relationship with him. He's there, but he really is not there because he is more interested in whomever he is texting.

ADDED for you TB. Thou shall not commit adultery! Grounds for divorce.
Oh girl you need to read all my posts from the last week. I woke up to a great email this morning from a girl telling me my husband has been cheating on me. He cheated on me before were married. i am 8 months pregnant, have a 2 and 7 yr old. Let me tell you drama drama drama. I think you should have let him go after the first time, just like i should have let my husband go the first time. Once a cheater always a cheater. Men dont change. Im sorry you are having a hard time and you can inbox me if you want. Get a hold of his phone, bet there is something on it. I needed the proof to realize i wasnt overreacting based on his past actions and now i feel so much better. My husband had deleted all calls and texts though so who knows. There must be something in the water right now turning these men into selfish pigs!

Yes, you are holding onto something you should have forgotten about long ago... your man!!! He has shown you repeatedly that he is incapable of monogamy and obviously has no intentions of changing. As difficult as it may sound, you need to get out & get a better life for yourself & especially your children. What will happen to them if you chose to stay is your son will learn that this behavior is acceptable and even expected and your daughter will learn that women just have to put up with it. None of you deserve to be treated with such disregard. Find a really good lawyer - please do your research!!! - and get out now!

A special man would not hurt you. if hes cheated with several women in the past chances are hes doing it now. him hiding his phone is a huge red flag. if i were you i would say let me see it or get out. if he refuses to let you see it its clear hes cheating

Well, in my opinion, once a cheater always a cheater.

TB says you must forgive him, no matter what. I'm also a Christian, and I say you don't have to. And if you do forgive him, you can still live without him. Forgive from afar. Without HIS changed heart, your forgiveness means NOTHING and I doubt he'll change. His cheating will still expose you to physical diseases and emotional pain. You don't have to live with that. You shouldn't live with that.

Anyone saying yes, must have no idea how deeply being cheated on hurts. I have not been cheated on, but my sister has. Years later, she still hurts and doubts her husband. It would be easier to forget about it, if he wasn't exhibiting untrustworthy behavior. If you moved forward and he never gave you a reason to doubt, I would say maybe it's time to try and forget. However, it doesn't sound like much has changed. You both need counseling. If he does not agree to it, he sure doesn't sound invested in your family and relationship.

kick it to the curb.

You have every right to worry and want to work it out. Marriage is for better or worse. I have never gone through this so I'm probably not the best to give advice, but I really think you should discuss this with your husband. Discuss going to counseling together or even a marriage seminar of some sort.There's one called "Laugh you way to a better marriage" its awesome! Even if you can't attend a seminar- sit and watch the dvd as a couple-its great! also.. The best place to find forgiveness and learn to have forgiveness is church..maybe as a family get plugged into a good church and start praying together as a couple. I'm sorry to sound "preachy" but I know God can do wonders and I know cuz He has in my marriage. There are also plenty of devotionals out there dealing with what you are going through as well. I don't know your faith and I'm sorry if I offended you in anyway that wasn't my intention. The point is your marriage is fixable. It will be challenging but if you both get through this together it is possible that you both can come out stronger than ever and closer than ever. There's hope. Best of luck for you and God bless.

I would wait until he was in the shower or sleeping and check the texts. I had a boyfriend like that and in the end, when I finally smartened up, I hated him. No more trust, no more feeling guilty or bad for him b/c I broke his heart by leaving. done, absolutely hate how he hurt me intentionally. I am now married to the most wonderful, faithful. respectful man. There is no way, kids or no kids, I would EVER let a man treat me that way again. I hope you are wrong, check the phone to be sure.

it sounds like he still has issues. why all of the behavior like a teen age boy. all the texting into the night. really, do you take your phone to the bathroom. R.

There are different kinds of cheating. You do realize this, right? Do you know who he is texting at all hours of the night? Have you asked him, or looked at the phone records for yourself? No, I'm not suggesting you become paranoid but given his history, IF he is texting at all hours of the day and /or night, you as his wife do have a right to know who is occupying his time.

I'm a Christian so my advice is that you must forgive him, no matter what the offense. No it doesn't mean you will forget right away but over time, the pain of what he has caused you will lessen. I know, because I have had to forgive my husband for things he did to hurt me, though it was quite as traumatic as cheating, but the pain he caused me was still bad. I had to come to a place where I could forgive him and KNOW without a doubt that when I said it to him, I knew I meant it in my heart. No, I didn't forget about what he had done right away but through prayer and God's help, He softened my heart so that I could finally let go of the painful memories. Only you know if you are still holding onto something unresolved. The fact that you may have reason to suspect he may be doing something again would lead me to believe there are still trust issues, and this is normal but he needs to give you reason to trust him. Texting to someone you don't know who he is contacting is not giving you reason to trust. You are suspicious so either you ask him point blank, or you will have to look into it on your own. I'm sorry you are in this position. It must be very difficult. I do hope you find peace and resolution in this matter.

I don't think so. You were hurt, and hurt deeply during an already emotionally vulnerable time. While you may have forgiven him in your head, it's a lot harder for your subconcious to forget. I've been cheated on before by someone I thought I loved. I wasn't bound to him in any way though, and wasn't able to forgive him. I would talk to your hubby about how you are trying so hard to trust him, but your head and your heart just can't come to terms. Try to get him into couples counseling with you... If he won't go with, maybe you can go on your own and try to work through the trust issues you have with him now. Good luck!